A new chapter from Sophie's choice!
Hope you enjoy it, amazing readers! :)
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I am still with Maddie on this island. I did not tell her yet that I want our relationship to end. It sound so weird for weeks and months I would do anything just to be with her and when I finally got her all I want to do get rid of her. Maybe I did not know her that well back then. For now, I realized that she is unreliable who will always have her whore, which makes me incredibly furious because she did not even realize when she does that. It is her past, she cannot cut it from her life but I cannot deal with that. I just needed time to figure this out. Now when I figured it out everything seems so simply, breaking up with Maddie and get back to Sian. Well, breaking up with Maddie will be a lot easier than getting back to Sian. I fucked up everything when I left Sian for this toxic relationship, which I can be never happy. I thought with Maddie everything will be the paradise but this few days in the Bahamas made me realize that more like hell being with Maddie. All we can do is argue, then have make–up sex which is good but I think a real relationship between two people who love each other is more. Today we are going back and when we are get home I plan to tell her that it is the end for her and me but she does not even have a clue what I am planning.
We are in our hotel room now, naked in the bed but soon we should start packing.
Maddie: These few days were magical for me. Thanks for it. In addition, I am very sorry for getting drunk so many times and dancing with other girls. I will never do that again. I am all yours.
What should I say to her now? I am sorry for making you believe you that I forgave you. Because I do not.
Sophie: These days were good. I figured out a lot of thing. Why don't we start packing?
Maddie: You are right. We should.
We started packing then went to the airport. Maddie looked so happy. Honestly, I think she was never happier in life than now but the only problem is that I am unhappy so that why I am going to end it with her. I do not care if I hurt her feeling, wait I care about her feelings but I want myself to be happy again with my family who I belong with. In the deep I always knew that I made a mistake, I could feel it that is why I had that endless guilty feel but now I am going to make everything right. I will not do a single mistake, at least about my life. The only woman for me is Sian, and it was always Sian I was just blinded by desire. I could not see what I am losing when I divorced from Sian. Now this blindness went away and I can clearly see I made a wrong choice being with Maddie so much. I just hope I can make it right.
After our plane landed we went home to Maddie to that flat which I rent for her and where I live now. I totally forgot about it. I cannot rent a flat for her when I will break up with her. I need a solution.
As soon as we stepped into flat, I wanted to tell her that this does not work. There is no time to waste; I have already wasted enough time.
Sophie: Maddie, you have a job now. You could rent this flat yourself.
Maddie: We are together now. We will rent it together.
Sophie: No Maddie.
Maddie: What no?
Sophie: The thing is that I realized I do not love you and I maybe never loved you...the thing that drive me to you was just desire and stupidness. I don't think we work out as a couple.
Maddie: You can't be serious you begged so much to be with you and now you want end it like it never happened?! You were the one who always came to me! You were the one wanted to help! You wanted us to be together more than anything!
Clearly, she is angry.
Sophie: I fucked up then. I am sorry to misleading you. Back then I did not even know myself what do I want.
Maddie: Since when do you want to break up with me? Since we got together because you could have tell me sooner?!
Sophie: No just when were on the Bahamas. I am sorry for say this but with you didn't feel right. I just cannot be with you. I am sorry!
Maddie: Get out now!
I did not even hesitate a moment. I took my stuff and left her alone as soon as possible. As I leave I am thinking about how should get back to Sian because clearly it won't be easy.