Volume III – The Zeta Arc

Chapter 21—The Pardon of Eden

Grace

"God, my shoulders are killing me," Matt said, yawning and stretching, and laying his muscularly toned legs out across my floor.

"This is ridiculous. For the past three weeks, this guy's been kicking our asses, and Doc Ol has yet to find us a way to beat him."

"I don't see why we can't just summon our Zords and sit on him."

"He'd probably just kick their asses, too."

Matt nodded solemnly and bit the eraser on his pencil, giving his math homework a glance.

"I don't understand where this guy came from or how he got the Zeta Battleizer, though."

"Patrick and Doc will figure it out. Besides, they did say they were working on an upgrade for us, they're just having trouble finding a power source."

"Yeah, but while they're doing that, we've been too busy getting our asses bruised to fight off Mesomorph in the Digital Sectors."

I chewed my lip as I thought. "Maybe we could trick Zeta into helping us? He seems to be a rogue, cuz he's definitely not working for dino-face. What if we got him to fight our battles for us?"

I could see the thoughts whirring around in Matt's head before he responded. "Yeah, that could work. Except he only seems intent on killing us. He's only helped us a few times, and I think that was just to blow some steam off."

"Yeah, that's true. But what if we retreated and left him with one of the guardians? Amy said there are only about 16 left."

"16's a lot, Grace."

"I'm just trying to be opt—"

My door rattled threateningly as my "step-dad" banged on it.

"Get down here and finish the dishes."

I bit my tongue as I collected myself. "In a minute."

The door swung open, catching Matt's foot.

"Now," Terrance demanded, entering the room and bringing the stale smell of high class whiskey and bourbon with him.

I sighed as I slid off my bed. "I was trying to do my homework."

"A lot of good that'll do. You're gonna have to work overtime to fix your GPA. You're slippin up, Blondie."

"I'm not slipping up; everyone's failing Mr. Burlington's class except me."

"It's true, Mr. Eden," Matt defended.

"You're not everyone. If you want to go to med school so bad, maybe you should stop posing for pretty pictures and stick your face in a book."

I breezed past him as he continued his tirade. My mom was in the dining room poring over dance recital plans, too distracted to notice her husband's behavior. Or maybe she just tried to ignore it like I tried.

My mom and Terrance married when I was three. I'd seen pictures from the wedding when my mom was young, beautiful, and—most of all—happy. I was the flower girl and one of Terrance's nephews was one the ring bearer. I didn't remember much of that time, but I remember everything from the time I was six, no matter how much I repressed it. The verbal abuse started as his money started deluging in. My mother, too busy with managing her dance school, talked me through rough times when Terrance told me I was nothing. She boosted my non-existent self-esteem by enrolling me in ballet. Of course, I was better than all the other girls; I'd been dancing before I could walk. But my mom didn't stop there. Everything was to impress him. Everything was to make us seem like the perfect family. But we weren't. We never were.

The real problems started when I was 13, right when we moved to Reefside. Terrance became furious with my mother for meeting with her ex-husband—my father. I never got to meet him, and at this point, I didn't really care to. He abandoned me. Just like my mother had inadvertently ditched me in the emotional support arena. She and Terrance started sleeping in different rooms, like they do now, and his drinking increased. Like, a lot.

My reverie faded as I searched for more dish soap. I didn't speak to my mother, despite her being a mere ten feet away. It wasn't worth it to distract her from her work. Sometimes, I realized it seemed like I hated her. But I didn't. I loved her more than anyone on the planet. I knew she worked hard at what she did, hardly ever taking a cent from Terrance, and being adamant about making her own money. That, I had to respect.

What I couldn't respect was her denial; the interminable, unmoving denial that she had encased herself in to prevent her from the horrible, disgusting truths. I found the dish soap and continued washing, my mind wandering back to the past like it was caught in some sick and masochistic time warp.

As they grew more distant, he grew angrier. I had never feared for my physical safety until the day I told my mom I liked Aaron. He was the first boy I met when we made the move from London to Reefside. Terrance had overheard me talking to my mom about a boy and went berserk. That was the first time he slapped me. He told me I was being a skank. At that age, I had no idea why he would think that. I was 13. I had no intentions on sleeping with Aaron. Why would he think that? I was 13.

To say I struggled would be an understatement. To this day, Matt's the only person I could relate with. We'd been friends when I lived in Reefside as a child. When my family moved away two months after my fourth birthday, he and I became pen pals. We never lost touch, but I never saw him as anything other than a brother. Terrance thought otherwise after I told my mom about Aaron. He forbid Matt from the house, thinking we'd have sex right in their bed or something. And as I became more detached from healthy social mannerisms, my workload increased. I did ballet, I started modeling, I took on IB classes at school, and took my first SAT when I was in the 8th grade, right before we moved back to America. Apparently, a 1250 the first time around was "obviously not good enough" unless I wanted to be "a community college girl."

And then I hit puberty. Terrance hated that. I was becoming a woman, and when I got my first period, he told me that anything that bled for more than 2 days should be dead. Yet, since I was "unfortunately alive and kicking," it clearly displayed the "parasitic way of the woman."

Despite all that, mom pretended. I honestly didn't know what was keeping us, other than her fear of being alone. She felt she didn't have the strength without him. She felt like we needed his money to be happy. That I needed a father figure. That she and I couldn't make it on our own.

Instead, I was given all the money I wanted. I was given the best education. I was treated like an employee hired to fill the position of perfect daughter. But I was constantly failing, apparently. Nothing I ever did was good enough.

The plate I was holding slipped to the floor and, without thinking, my shadow abilities kicked in and held the plate in midair. I quickly grabbed it with my shaking hand and wiped at my eyes precariously.

He made me who I was. And who I was disgusted me. I was an overachiever at heart, but I looked like a cheerleader babe with no brains. I was the hot girl who was "too good" for everyone because I tried to prove otherwise. I was a bitch. But I looked like that girl that everyone got with. "That stupid blond bitch who tries to act smart but really just wants someone to bang her." And if I tried to speak out against it, I was the little rich girl who cried about how she wasn't happy. Everything was clichéd and shot to hell, and I had no idea what to make of it.

But what if Terrance was right? What if I really was a failure? What if the reason the Shadow Morpher picked me was because my soul was so tainted with hatred for everything I'd done wrong? Not to mention my hatred for relationships or attachment. I didn't want anyone to have anything to do with me. I just wanted to be in the shadows. I wanted to hide.

"You're not done yet?"

I involuntarily flinched as Terrance stepped up behind me, the sickening alcoholic heat radiating from his body.

"J-just finished," I stuttered, drying the last plate.

"Your friend's pretty nice, Blondie. Maybe you can give him a little extra payment for putting up with you all the time," he whispered.

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end instantly as I felt the static pull of fear at every pore of my body.

I gently laid the towel down and turned to face him, a serene smile on my face.

"Matt's gay, though."

I guess my sarcasm was too obvious.

Terrance's face dropped, clouded by a sudden wave of unfiltered anger. The back of his hand struck me across the cheek full force, but the power coursing through my veins like water numbed his wimpy attack to all the pain of a tickle.

I straightened my hair, kissed him on the cheek, and pranced back to my room, praying to any and every deity that I could keep myself composed until Matt left.

"You okay?" Matt asked me as I re-entered my room.

My prayers went unanswered as the tears stung my cheeks.

"I hate him so much, Matt," I choked.

He was up in a flash, hugging me tightly, his scent soothing my panic.

"I don't understand why she does this. Why won't she say something? Why won't she protect me like I'm her daughter?"

My best friend gently rubbed my hair away from my face as he led me to my bed. "She can't, Gracie. She's trapped in this. Your mom has this thing about her—she can't fail. And after her first marriage, I don't think she planned on splitting again. And I'm not sure she thinks she can support the both of you and go through a divorce all while running her school."

"It's not fair, Matt. I just…I just wish I could fly away and just never look back." I wiped at my cheeks futilely. "I…I never want him to touch me again. I never want another person to make me feel like he does. Not ever. He's so...disgusting."

"The way he treats you is so beyond fucked up, Grace. Like...incredibly wrong. And I wish more than anything that I could make him pay for it, but it won't do anything. It will only make things worse. But after this year of school, you're gone. You can go anywhere you want with grades like yours. You're Grace-effin-Eden."

I shuddered involuntarily. "I want to be Grace Hillard. I don't want anything to do with him. I wish Zeta would just kill him. Seriously. I wish he could feel the pain I feel on a day-to-day basis, thinking that this is all life amounts to. I want him to live in fear for every day of his life. I want someone to do to him everything he's done to me and more. I…I want revenge. I fucking hate him."

"You have every right, dude. Every right in the world. But…we both know that's not the way. Someday, you'll find someone who will make things better and stuff—someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. Someone who will know every bad thing that's ever happened in your life and not care. Someone will come along, and love you for every part of you."

I sniffed rather unladylike and looked up into Matt's eyes. They were the same eyes I'd seen so many times and never actually seen. They were the same eyes belonging to the same Matt I'd known since birth. Yet somehow, they were different. They were wise and caring; strong and comforting; reliable and protective. Ever since his falling out with Patrick, he had changed so much. When Patrick's mom died, he did everything he could to accept Patrick and Aaron for what they were. He invited them to his house, he tagged along with them to the mall—he sincerely tried. And he'd become outspoken and sagely, offering advice I'd expect only to hear from Doc Ol. Never in a million years could I have imagined this of Matt.

"Yeah, right. How would you know?"

"Because, Grace…I…I love you. I am that guy who knows every part of you and doesn't care! I can be there for you whenever you need, and I don't mind. I could be that. If you just let me."

I think he began to panic because of my lack of reaction. My mind had braced itself for this after what Patrick told me in the kitchen months ago.

"I mean, I know to you I'm just Matt—like a brother. But…I can be more, Grace. I…I sit here every day knowing that you deserve better and that you don't deserve this life you have. I understand if-if you don't reciprocate. But…I'm always here. Forever. Nothing's gonna change that, no matter what guy you crush on, what Terrance says, what grades you get, or what clothes you wear. I don't care about any of that shit. The only thing I care about is you and your happiness. And I feel like you need someone like that."

I looked at the ground for only about five or ten seconds, though I felt like eons had passed. Without reconnecting eye contact, I said, "I think you should leave."

Silence enveloped the room.

He slowly stood up and collected his belongings. I watched him neatly put away his math book, his binder, his pencil, his calculator, and his papers. I watched him slide on his hoodie and watched him turn the handle to my bedroom door. I watched him close my door without a word and heard him walk down the stairs. Out my window, I saw him walk down the sidewalk, his face blank and his hands in his pockets. I watched the cars rumble past him as he made a left on a side street, and I watched as the shadows of the night engulfed him.

Then I laid my head down on my pillow and cried.

I cried for myself and for my mom; for Patrick and his loss of his only parent; for Jay and his slow separation from Aaron; for the innocent people harmed in our fights; for the Zeta Ranger and his confusion; for Terrance and his sadism; for Mesomorph and his ill-fated life; for the Guardians of the Aleph Beyt; and lastly and mostly, for Matthew Jamison, who was dealt the unfortunate hand of falling in love with a girl who could never be with any human being.

—21—

When I awoke to the sun beaming into my room, I wiped at my mascara-encrusted eyes. I glanced at the clock and its early hour and let the memories of last night wash over me. The pain inside me bubbled over as I remembered Matt's words. I shoved them away in a part of my memory and walked numbly to my bathroom. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, then returned to my bedroom linked with my bathroom.

Terrance was sitting on my bed, flipping through a magazine. It was a Cosmo. I swore at myself in my head. How could I have forgotten to put it away? I knew he would be able to use it as ammo on his daily raids of my room.

"Good Morning."

"Morning," I croaked nervously, pulling clothes from my dresser.

He didn't respond, so I prayed he'd not found anything of interest in the magazine. I was begging my memory to remember if the cover said anything about "how to please a man." I'm sure it did. They always did. That wasn't why I bought them. I bought them for the articles. For the times where I could imagine myself as some of those girls with boyfriends and relationship problems.

"This is an interesting magazine to have lying around when your friend Matt comes over. Isn't it?"

"I...I don't know. When I picked it up, I was looking for the fashion for the season. I mean...it's...it's fall, you know? It was tididng me over until I could get the September Issue. It's sold out everywhere."

I tried to force a smile.

"You know," he sighed, "I was thinking about the strangest thing last night."

I swallowed and forced myself to ask. "Oh, yeah? About what?"

"Well, you haven't been home lately. And I figured it was because of all those clubs you're in and your campaign for Student Council. I figured you were already getting ready for that."

Shit.

"So, I made a few late night phone calls and got your attendance records to your clubs. And it turns out...that you haven't been there."

I didn't think he'd notice. I really thought he just wouldn't care. I should have known better. I should have thought of a cover. Project was the first thing that came to mind.

"Well, ever since transferring to Reefside Central, our clubs don't really have a foundation," I said. Project was too predictable.

He cocked an eyebrow.

"Reefside Central has its own clubs, so maybe they don't have records of our clubs yet. I heard a lot of stuff was lost in the move."

"Yeah, but I thought of that," he replied, shaking his head but grinning to himself all the while. "I spoke with Reefside Central's principal and he said that Doctor Oliver has been providing excuses for community service. Community service that's been long overdue. So why are you still out all the time?"

I couldn't come up with an answer. I couldn't reveal my Ranger duties. I couldn't tell him the truth. But I didn't want to get slapped around.

"I'm waiting for an answer."

"I...I've just been hanging out with friends."

"So your friends are more important than your future, huh?" he asked.

"No."

"But that's what I'm gathering. You're not going to your extracurriculars because you're 'hanging out?'"

I remained silent. I knew what was coming.

"Well, I guess your friends will be getting you a scholarship, too, huh? I heard Patrick dropped out, didn't he? Works at some restaurant now, carrying around a little tray and wearing an apron? Is that what you wanna do, now, too?"

I literally bit my tongue, the sides burning under the pressure of my molars and incisors.

The first slap was a small one. A quick reminder that I needed to speak. His reminders were hardly ever verbal.

"No," I managed to say, the hatred heavy in my voice.

Another slap, telling me to calm down.

"Stop!"

His eyes widened somewhat.

"STOP TOUCHING ME!" I roared, satisfaction ringing through my body at the power of these mere words.

He stepped back slightly, looking at me strangely.

Now that I had gotten that straight...I had no idea what to do.

"Get out," I said, trying to keep my attitude angry. "GET OUT!"

He stepped back again, but cracked a grin, shaking his head. "On the rag already, huh? No wonder Matt was around. You're in heat."

"OUT!" I screamed as he slipped out the door, laughing his way out.

—21—

I blasted away with my Gauntlet Guard, frying the troupe of Gigadroids. Twirling, I brought out my Psi Lancer in a flash of black energy, cutting down the enemies that were attempting to ambush me from behind.

"Shit, here comes Zeta," Jay noted as the clouds darkened. The Gigadroids ceased their attack as they cowered near the entrance of the warehouse.

"We should probably bail before he attacks," Amy suggested as she and I regrouped with the boys.

"Yeah, good idea," Beth said, appearing next to me.

Aaron nodded as we teleported off in beams of our colors. When we returned to the Basement, though, Doc Ol was nowhere to be found.

"Where could he be?" wondered Beth, the red ranger, powering down.

"I think I hear voices upstairs," Aaron said quietly, cocking his head slightly.

We all powered down and tiptoed upstairs. One of the voices sounded oddly familiar.

"That's what I'm saying, though, Tommy; I don't know what exactly to do. I won't be able to support both of us on nothing. He brings in the money."

"You guys didn't sign a prenup, though, did you? You could easily take half the money."

"No way…" I muttered to myself, pushing past the rest of the group.

The woman was in the middle of a sentence when I opened the heavy basement door. Never in a million years did I expect to see her here.

"Grace?"

"Mom?"

"Mom?" repeated Doc Ol.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Honey, what are you doing here?" my mother demanded, quickly standing from the dinner table.

"I…I was working on something with Doctor Oliver. Why are you here?"

"Katherine, this is…this is your daughter?"

"Why does it matter?" I snapped.

"Because that means—"

"Stop it, Tommy!" my mother silenced him.

"No, Tommy, don't stop. What does this mean? What the hell is going on here? Am I in trouble?"

"Not at all, Grace. Your mother is," the former Black Ranger said firmly.

My mother rubbed her temples.

"Please…somebody tell me what's going on," I half-pleaded.

"If you're her daughter, Grace, then I—"

"He is your biological father."

I looked incredulously at my mom. Then I switched my gaze to Doctor Oliver.

"What?"

"We were married once before, but we divorced because your mother said we were going in different directions." He looked at her pointedly. "I didn't know different directions meant me going to grad school and you going to the delivery room."

If my mom looked frustrated before, she looked utterly exasperated now.

"You mean to tell me this is the father that was 'too busy' for us? The one who has been my principal for four years now? The very same fucking person who has lived in the same city as us since we moved here? And you subjected me to years of torture with that sonovabitch, Terrance?"

My fists shook angrily as clouds of dark energy began to build around me.

"What's happening to her?" my mom asked urgently.

"Your daughter—our daughter—is a Power Ranger."

"How could you make me believe my father was some arrogant jackass who abandoned me for work? How could you make me feel like the best life I could have was being belittled in everything I do? How could you do this, mom?"

"I did it for him!" my mom, the former Pink Zeo Ranger, shot back. "I never wanted to force him into a life of mediocrity! He deserved better than having to give up his hopes and dreams to take care of me."

"To take care of you? What about me? I needed a father! Someone who loves me for who I am and accepts my mistakes. Someone who supports me and encourages me to get better. And now I come to find out that not only is my dad not some soulless, uncaring asshole too self-involved to have a family; but he has been in my life for four-fucking-years without even knowing! Don't you think he had a right to know he had a kid? Don't you think we both deserved to know each other as family?"

By now, the entire Cyber Squad was standing behind me, confusion plain as day on their faces.

"Grace, you need to calm down," she said to me, trying to deny all the lies she'd created to keep her perfect little world intact.

"NO, mom! I've been calm for too long. I've sat by passively as Terrance ruined your life and mine. I've wished upon every star known to man to someday have my real dad come and rescue me. I've dreamt of him taking me away almost every night that I dream. I've wanted to escape that prison of dysfunction you call a home for so long; and not once did I ever think my safe haven was right here all along."

"Katherine…she's right," Doctor Oliver finally said. "You should've told me. I wouldn't have given up grad school, I would have just taken my time with it. I could have waited. I…I just don't understand why you would go to all these length to keep us from seeing each other. To keep me from knowing my daughter."

Patrick entered the house noisily, greeting the party of people in the kitchen. No one spoke.

"What's going on?" he asked, confusion clear in his voice.

"Are there any other secrets you want to tell me, mom?" I spat, my energy waves fading slightly.

"I truly am sorry—to the both of you. It was never my intention to keep you apart to be malevolent. I only wanted what was best for you both. We divorced because your life would have been miserable, Tommy," my mother said earnestly, biting back the tears in her voice. She looked to me as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "I loved him with all my heart and would never have let him go unless I thought it was for the best. A child is a lot to handle, Grace, and with him barely out of school, do you really think he could practically support a woman on maternity leave and a newborn baby?"

"I could have tried," he interrupted, shrugging her hand off his shoulder.

My mom grew silent and no one said a word until Tommy—my dad—cleared his throat.

"I want Grace to stay here tonight."

"What?" my mother demanded.

"Kat, I hardly know her. I know her from a principal's point of view and from a Ranger mentor's point of view. I know nothing about her. So I want her here tonight."

"I'm staying," I finalized.

"Fine," she conceded, nabbing her purse. "I have to go. I-I have to make dinner."

She was gone in an instant.

"Well…hi dad…"