BreeTico – I took lessons for my acoustic guitar and, as a younger child, I didn't see the need for practicing. After about a year, my mother quit making me go to lessons. I've owned an acoustic guitar for about eight or nine years, and I can only play the G and D chords. ): lol
Complete Chocoholic – Lol, I'm sorry! Don't lose out on your sleep! I do the same thing, too. It's always a good excuse when you can say it's because you were too interested in reading. Teachers seem to sometimes find that excuse acceptable. Yay for us! (:
Cheerdebate2015 – Lol, I really am sorry. In the past, I've been writing chapters ahead of what I'm updating. It seems that I've hit a wall all the way around – on both my fanfictions and my personal projects. It doesn't help that classwork is picking up and I'm stuck with homework every night. But I'm trying to keep with the healthy pattern! Haha (: Thanks for giving me that extra push to get this chapter written and updated.
The Significance Series belongs to Shelly Crane.
18: Jealousy at its Finest
"That was freaking wonderful." Johnny said suddenly, breaking the silence that had enveloped the garage the moment Derek put the acoustic guitar in my hands. "Heck, it was downright sexy. Where did you find this girl, Der?" Tory and Derek gave him a glare at the same time. Tory just seemed slightly annoyed, like she'd learned to accept Johnny's outgoing, flirty personality. Derek just looked pissed off. I could feel the bubbling anger underneath the surface. He wasn't really all that mad with his friend, but his need to prove that I was his was nearly overwhelming.
Derek stood up smoothly, shoving his guitar to the side. He didn't say anything to his friends, instead reaching out to take my chin with two fingers. He leaned forward and murmured in my ear, "You did great, sweetheart. And you'll always be mine." I tried to hide the shiver in my spine as his breath washed over my cheek and down my neck. He'd made his point to Johnny without saying a word. Even though I knew it was just the imprint making him all riled up, I wanted to tell him to tamp down his fluffed-up feathers. Johnny was obviously just a flirt – even his girlfriend had come to terms with that.
Straightening, I tried to ignore the looks darting in between us. If this were any other time, I don't think that they would be looking at us like that. They were obviously pleased that Derek found someone that he wanted to date. But I could see the caution in their eyes. Tory had told me that Derek was inexperienced. After kissing him, I wouldn't believe that in the least. But I knew it was true. To them, I was Derek's first girlfriend, quite a feat for a handsome twenty-one-year-old in a punk alternative rock band. It wasn't hard to see how protective of me he was; they were probably worried that he was too protective, that he was too into me. Especially since they seemed to think (with the exception of Tory) that I would one day break his heart.
I wished that I could tell them about the imprint, about how much I unconditionally loved him. I wished that I could tell him that there wasn't a chance that I would break Derek's heart because he really was it for me. There would never be a person that would be able to overshadow him. But I couldn't say a peep about our imprint. They were just going to have to trust the fact that I was going to stay with him and that he was going to stay with me. But that didn't mean that I wasn't worried they would hate me and tell Derek that I wasn't worth his time.
"Are we ordering a pizza or what?" Derek asked, choosing not to answer Johnny's question. I wasn't sure if it had even been a rhetorical question, but Johnny didn't look bothered by the lack of an answer. In fact, he and Tank looked immediately uplifted by the thought of pizza. I wasn't really that hungry, since Derek had taken me to that Indian restaurant, but I knew that the pizza was just a distraction for his friends.
"Double pepperoni," Johnny said loudly, taking his drink off the small table next to Tory. She rolled her eyes and looped her arm around his elbow. Together, the two of them traipsed inside. Tank followed without so much as a second glance towards us. PJ still stood there, though, calmly and quietly putting away the microphone and leaning the instruments against the walls. Derek put his electric guitar in the stand and took the acoustic from me and replaced it in the stand next to his.
I waited next to the couch, my soda can empty and Derek's freshly opened. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pressed his lips to my temple. "PJ, you want me to make sure that they put sausage on that pizza?" He asked.
"Yeah, man. I'll be there in a minute." He said, continuing to wrap the cords around his hand.
Derek and I stepped over the threshold between the kitchen and the garage. I could hear Tory, Johnny, and Tank arguing about the different types of toppings. Derek rolled his eyes. They do this every time, and we always end up getting the same thing. I stifled a laugh. I could easily imagine them doing that. They were all giant children, except for Tory, who seemed to have a healthy dose of maturity. She wasn't lying when she said that she was like the Mama Bear – not only did she seem to have a need to protect the guys, but she also kept them from fighting too much with each other. I could tell that by the way she silenced both Johnny and Tank and told them exactly what they were ordering. That eerie quietness lasted for a good minute before we heard Tory ordering on the phone.
"She's kind of scary," I whispered to him as I leaned against the counter. Derek stood right in front of me, leaning so close that our bodies were practically pressed together. His hands were on either side of me, keeping me locked in the cage of his arms. I could tell, just by a quick mental scan, that he wanted to kiss me. I wasn't sure if it was because of what had happened in the garage, since I could still feel his residual need to prove that I was his and his only, but in the end I didn't really mind. It kind of made me smile that he wanted everyone know that I was his and he was mine.
"Definitely scary," he breathed. He smelled like he usually did, like Derek, but this time there was a hint of sweet, artificial orange. I smoothed my hands over his leather jacket before taking hold of the lapels, pulling him closer to me. Since I had the somewhat bad habit of keeping my mind open to his at all times, I got the full load of whatever he was feeling. It was dangerous because his emotions pushed mine, and mine fed into his. "Emily," he murmured against my lips, "I love you."
He didn't give me time to answer him. He covered my lips with his. But instead of it being fiery and demanding, it was warm and slow. One of his hands came to grip my side as I tugged on his jacket, pulling him even closer to me. Without really meaning to, my mind started to press into his. Instead of closing the door so sharply that it sent reverberations through the two of us, he just stayed cautious. Soon, it began to feel like he was completely surrounding me, like I was wrapped up in a Derek cocoon. There were pieces of him that I didn't even know that flashed through my eyes. A lot of his mind was devoted to me – the day he saw me at the shop, when he woke up in the morning and found me sleeping next to him, that kind of stuff that made my heart want to burst. Around that were bits and pieces of his memories, information about him, little things that I wouldn't even think to ask him – like his favorite pizza topping (pepperoni and sausage) or the fact that when he was a kid, he was sure that there was something living in his closet.
I could also feel his mind searching through mine, sifting through nineteen years of memories. He was probably reading through all of my dreams about him, my fascination with his green-hazel eyes, the fact that I loved his dragon tattoo and the way he played his guitar. This was the farthest that we'd ever gone into reading each other while we were both awake. I knew that if we weren't careful, it would lead to something more. Derek was feeling the same thing, but neither of us could stop as we delved deeper into who the other was.
I could feel the jolt of our connection. It was like electricity dancing across my skin. And then, almost so softly that I didn't feel it, Derek's hand traveled up my side, lifting momentarily to press against my neck. I almost leaned into it before realizing that both of his hands were still on my sides. He was still towering over me, protecting me from the rest of the kitchen. We hadn't moved. But what was that feeling, then? As I thought about it, I could feel his hand again, caressing my hair. It was his mind. It almost scared me, but then I decided to try it on my own.
I thought about my imaginary mental hand releasing his lapel and running down his chest before looping around his side. I could feel the fact that he was awed that I figured it out that easily. But then he really realized what was going on and pulled away from me so fast that it was like one of us had caught on fire. His mental door slammed down so hard that I could feel the shaking of it in my teeth. His hands remained on my sides, but they were more like vices now, his fingers knotting in the fabric of my shirt. "Not here," he whispered in my ear. His forehead rested against mine. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, determined on making my heart rate slow down.
"Now that was hot. I was debating on whether or not to sell tickets to it." I looked up sharply. Johnny leaned against the counter with his amber colored bottle grasped by the neck. Seeing my face, he said, "Sorry. I didn't mean to walk in on you two. I was just going to let Perseus in there know about his sausage pizza and you two were just going at it."
"Johnny, dude, shut up." Derek said almost gruffly. He pulled away from me. I could feel myself blushing. Could we not just get a little time to ourselves? I mean, I know we were sort of all over the place because a simple peck could turn into a make out session, but seriously. I would think that someone would just give us the benefit of the doubt and leave us alone. Derek actually let out a low chuckle. Johnny's eyebrows drew together, but he eventually shrugged it off, probably assuming that my significant was laughing because of what he said.
Derek tightened his grip on my hand and pulled me after him, pausing to clap his band mate on the shoulder before leading me into the living room. There was a part of me that wondered, for only a split second, if Derek had enjoyed the fact that Johnny got an eyeful of the two of us together. He was the one who had been "flirting" with me, after all. But I didn't let myself linger on it for too long, because I understood. If there were girls – even girls that I knew Derek wouldn't even look at – hanging all over my significant, I'd be furious. It reminded me of the time, just after we imprinted, that I looked online to see if Derek was on there, a real person. It reminded me of how annoyed I'd been when girls just wrote to him.
So I got it.
Derek pulled me down onto the open couch in the living room, where, if I turned my head at just the right angle, I could see Sarah the Snake's cage. Tory watched us with careful eyes as Derek draped his arm over the back of the couch. I sat down politely on the second seat cushion, not wanting to attach myself to him. But Derek wasn't having any of that. He pulled me right into his side, propped one of his boots up on the table, and turned his attention nonchalantly to the TV.
Feeling like I was being carefully watched, and knowing that I probably wasn't, I shifted a little bit, turning my body so that I could easily rest my head on my significant's shoulder and watch the movie that they were playing on the TV. Interestingly enough, it was one of the ones that I'd wanted to go see when it had been in theatres but had, unfortunately, been unable to watch.
Derek kept his mind virtually closed to mine the entire time. I guess I couldn't really blame him.
# # #
I dropped my forehead onto the desk in front of me. Derek and I had stayed at PJ and Johnny's place until well past midnight. I'd eventually fallen asleep on him and had to be nudged awake so we could leave. It looked like Johnny was in the same boat with Tory, who had put one of the couch pillows on his lap and had promptly gone to sleep, her feet hanging over the side of the couch. Tank had disappeared sometime when I'd been sleeping, so I wasn't really sure where he had gone.
All I'd known was that I was dead tired. By time we'd gotten home and ready for bed, I'd only managed to squeeze in a few hours of sleep. And even though Derek made me feel like I was brand new every morning, he couldn't heal sleepiness. I had to actually sleep the regular amount of hours to stop feeling like my brain was just slugging through the day. My mom had given me the early morning shift, and since Derek had some business to do (I didn't ask, he didn't specify) I was stuck here from eight to at least one if not later.
"Emily?" I heard my name, but I didn't look up. I almost did, but I remembered last second that I was supposed to still be deaf to them. It wasn't much longer before I felt two fingers tapping on my shoulder. With a mix of a groan and I sigh, I picked my head up from the desk and turned to look at her. Since my mother barely signed without speaking, I didn't really have to focus on her hands anymore to understand what she was saying. "Are you okay?"
"Fine," I said with a sigh. "I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night." I explained. I dropped my eyes to the counter in front of me. She pushed the papers out of the way, sitting on the ledge of the desk. I looked up to meet her blue gaze. "Are you and Derek okay?" The way she asked made me think that I looked particularly miserable. Enough that she thought that there were problems in my relationship?
"We're great, mom." I replied, unable to hide the bit of annoyance. Did she really just ask me that? I mean, I understood that she wanted to make sure that her little girl was safe and all that, but to ask me if my relationship was going south to my face…. "In fact, I love him more than ever." I stated. But the words didn't sound as sincere as they should have been, probably because I sounded like I was telling a boring story.
Mom bit down on her lip, glancing away from me. She knew that she'd struck a nerve in me. With a heavy sigh, I dropped my head and gave a long, hard stare at the monitor underneath the desk counter. The store was silent; it was just me and my mom. And now that I didn't have him there, I really wished Derek was present so I could use him as a buffer.
"Did you go out with Derek?" She asked after a moment of silence.
"Yeah," I said with a sigh. She seemed to be waiting for more, so I added, "I met the guys in Derek's band. They're really nice."
"How late did you stay out?" She asked. The words were casual, but the way she asked them implied that she thought Derek was keeping me out too late. Her little girl needed her beauty rest, after all. I was starting to think that even though she liked Derek, she was doing her best to try and figure out a way for me to come home. Back to her place of residence, anyway.
"Don't know; I fell asleep watching a movie." I told her.
Mom looked a little peeved that I wasn't dishing out every detail of my life, like I was prone to do. She probably knew that Derek and I shared a room. She knew that we were serious about each other. I was honestly kind of surprised that she hadn't asked me anything extremely embarrassing. But maybe she was hoping that I would tell her that kind of stuff on my own. I loved her, but she wasn't going to get every romantic detail of my life. That would be mentally scarring.
With a heavy sigh, I looked up at her and said, "Don't worry about me, mom. Derek's a perfect gentleman. He loves me and I love him. He's not some closet sociopath or anything. Can't you just trust that he's good for me?" She had no idea how true those words were. Derek was my everything. Without him, I wouldn't be able to survive. Literally.
She sighed and leaned her elbow against the counter. Raising her hands to sign to me, she said, "Do I seem that paranoid? I'm sorry, Emily. I just miss you. I think I'm suffering from having an empty nest."
"You could get a dog." I suggested. She made a face, and I added, "Or a fish." That made her smile. At least, until the door opened. Her smile suddenly went from genuine to forced, and I turned in my chair to see who it was.
Xavier stood in the doorway. He breezed inside and tossed his bag underneath the counter. His shoulder brushed my arm, but he still didn't say anything or acknowledge me as he nodded to my mother and slipped to the back room. We both watched him go. The storage room door closed behind him.
Mom let out a breath that she'd apparently been holding. "He's really mad." I said. "Madder than I've ever seen him."
I turned in my chair to look at her. The look on her face told me that she agreed. She chose to sign instead of speak, so I had to really force myself to look at her hands. It felt like it had been such a long time since I'd had to rely on sign language. "Honey, boys like Xavier don't always say what they're feeling, especially if they're emotions that they're uncomfortable sharing. Like love, for instance." My eyes darted to her face as she signed that out. Was she telling me that Xavier loved me? Apparently seeing my horrified expression, she added, "He's hurt, Emily. I would go as far as to say that he was interested in you but didn't take the time to gain your attention because he thought he didn't have any competition. And then one day, you walk in with Derek, and it was probably like he had the floor ripped out from underneath him. I've often wondered myself why you didn't introduce them earlier, especially if you've been friends with Derek for at least half a year."
"Mom," I breathed, "You don't really think…."
"I do. I wasn't going to say anything because I thought that maybe he would realize that you were very serious about Derek and he would just move on. But that doesn't look to be the case. And you two were the best of friends. It's not right for you two to lose a friendship over this." Her eyes said that she was hurting for me. She knew that I was upset over the fact that Xavier was giving me the cold shoulder. She knew that Xavier was hurting from my obvious interest in Derek.
We were all hurting, in the end.
"What do I do?" I asked.
"Talk to him," she offered. "That's the only thing you can do." She put a comforting hand on my shoulder momentarily before turning around and heading to her office. She'd given me advice, and she'd left it up to me on whether or not I take it.
I glanced at the clock. There was still half an hour until we hit twelve and my shift was officially over. Xavier must have gotten out of class early. It also meant that I had more than an hour until Derek came to pick me up. I figured that if I was going to talk to Xavier, it would probably be best if it was just me and him. Derek was protective, and that permeated the air whenever Xavier made me upset. He also had a hard time standing away from me when I was anxious, just like I did with him. Xavier didn't need to feel like he was being ganged up on.
With a resigned sigh, I pushed my chair out from underneath my desk and swiveled to face the storage room door. Xavier had slipped back there without a word. I would put money down that he was planning on staying there until I left. I wasn't going to give him that.
I pushed out of my chair and headed over to the storage room door. Mom had taken to leaving it unlocked, now. She used to lock it all the time, especially right before I met Derek. But now, with the "Employees Only" sign stuck to the door, she felt better about leaving me keyless. I stood there, in front of the door, staring at the sign, trying to gain the courage to go in there and talk to him. The worst thing that could happen is that he would upset me enough that my heart rate altered Derek and he came running. I could already feel my heart starting to pound. I took a deep breath, trying to coax it into its normal pattern.
Before I could talk myself into turning around and leaving, I put my hand on the knob and pushed the door open. Xavier looked up almost sharply as I stepped into the room. The moment he realized that it was me and not my mom or a customer breaking the rules, his eyes darkened and he turned back around, determined to give me the cold shoulder.
I stalked forward and went to stand right behind him. He wasn't going to get away with it anymore. I wasn't going to let him. I tapped on his shoulder and he didn't turn around. I could feel anger bubbling inside me. "Xavier," I hissed.
"What?" His voice was hard as he whirled around to face me, his bony shoulder smacking into the side of my hand. And honestly, it sort of hurt.
Embarrassingly, I lost my confidence the moment he said the word. "I, um," I stuttered, "why won't you talk to me?"
He scoffed. "Are you really asking me that?" He spoke quickly, and since he wasn't signing to me and he still thought I was deaf, he was hoping to intimidate me or give me trouble in reading his lips. Too bad I was ahead of him in that game.
I couldn't help but swallow hard. "No, I asked it and didn't want the answer." My sarcasm was a first defense against things that made me nervous. He knew that just as well as I did. But it didn't stop his eyes from flashing with anger. The moment they did, I knew I shouldn't have said that.
"Why don't you go find your boyfriend?" He hissed.
"Xavier." I said pointedly. "You're my best friend, okay? You're one of the only people I've ever known that didn't mind that I was deaf. But you can't treat me like this just because you're pissed off." I was pleased to note that it looked like my confidence and voice had returned. All I needed was for Xavier to be rude, and I had everything handled. "You never said anything to me. You kissed me here and then pretended that it didn't even happen. We never talked about it. You never made it seem like you wanted me to be your girlfriend. In fact, it was sort of like I was just the girl you knew would kiss you. It was like I was just some sort of dare that you managed to complete. So forgive me for not thinking that you were interested in me, or that we were together in any way."
Xavier's shoulders had gone rigid when I said the words. He hadn't been able to hide parts of his expression – his eyes were still hard and unyielding, but they were a little wider than normal, and he was alternating between clenching his jaw so hard that I thought he was going to break a tooth and staring at me like a fish out of water. He hadn't expected me to walk in here and accuse him of anything. I hadn't expected it either; it was just what came out.
"I never thought you were just a game," he finally said. "I really did – I really do – care about you." His words were strangled, as if he was having a hard time saying them. I found myself wondering if it was because he was uncomfortable showing what was underneath or if it was just because they weren't all that true. Honestly, I was sort of horrified in myself that I was second-guessing him. He was my best friend. I was supposed to trust him unconditionally, right?
"You don't show it," I said. "You haven't spoken to me since you found out that Derek and I were together. You stopped bringing me cookies. You avoided seeing me at all costs. That doesn't sound like you care about me." I accused.
Xavier had turned his entire body to face me. We were standing on feet apart, glaring at each other. I was expecting him to come back with something that would cut me to the bone. But instead, he just looked at me. And then he did something that I would have never expected. He closed the distance between us, grabbing my face almost roughly with both hands, and brought his lips down hard on mine. This wasn't a Xavier-Emily kiss, one that I had experienced before. This was the kind of kiss that I had only shared with Derek.
I froze. My entire body seemed to feel like it was in an ice block. A chill covered over my skin as something buried deep inside started to burn. It wasn't pleasant, like the soothing shift of hot and cold when I kissed Derek. It wasn't like an imprint in the least. It was like there was something inside of me that was just furious that Xavier was kissing me, especially in that way, when my heart fully belonged to another. I realized that my imprint was whaling on me, telling me that this was so wrong I shouldn't have even been standing there, letting him kiss me. Obviously, it didn't cross his mind that I didn't like it, despite the fact that I wasn't even kissing him back.
Let go of me. The words started in my mind, sure, but I could practically feel them covering my entire body, pulling together to lash out. Xavier took a step back, releasing me completely. His eyes were alight in a way that I'd never seen them before. He brought the back of his hand to his mouth for a second before looking down at it. "You bit me," he accused.
I hadn't. I hadn't even moved. I figured that my imprint must have done something to him. I sort of wanted to thank it for taking care of that for me. "I can't believe you just did that!" I exclaimed. It was the only thing that I could think to say. It was like my brain's wiring had shorted out, and not in the good way that it did when Derek hugged me or whispered in my ear. It was more like I couldn't even breathe because I was having a bad allergic reaction.
"I care about you," Xavier said. But his voice was lowered, just a mere whisper. And it wasn't a sexy low whisper that made my spine tingle. It was the voice of a little kid, admitting that he did wrong. "I want you to be my girlfriend, Emily. Not his."
I shook my head and tears touched my eyes. Was this really happening, right now? Why couldn't he have told me that a month ago, before I met Derek? If that had happened and we'd been together, there was a chance that I would have never seen Derek. I would have never felt that pull to go to him. We would have never imprinted. And even though I recognized it as a possibility if the things in my past had changed, I wouldn't have wanted it at all. Derek made me happy. He made me feel like I could be myself. And I honestly believed that there would have never been anyone in the world but him that could make me that happy. "You're too late, Xavier."
"Why?" He demanded. "Are you really telling me you love him? That you want to spend the rest of your life with him? You know that your first serious boyfriend never works out, right?"
"Don't say that," I said. I tried to say it with conviction, but it just came out hurt and slightly whispered. I knew that the statistic was true, but things were different for me and Derek. We were an imprinted couple. Soul mates. Nothing could tear us apart. But he didn't know that. But besides all of that, it was just the fact that he was trying to talk me out of my relationship so that I could date him.
"It's true."
"I love Derek," I told him, nearly spitting out the words. "I love him with all of my heart. Even if something ever happened to him, I would never be able to move on. He has all of it."
"Then get it back," Xavier sounded depressed by the thought.
"It's not that easy," I said. "And even if it was, I wouldn't do it. I've moved into Derek's house. I don't know if you knew, but it's true. We're planning our future together. Because I love him, and we're spending the rest of our lives together. And I'm sorry Xavier, but nothing you say or do can change that. But that doesn't mean I want you to be out of my life completely. I want you to be my best friend."
"I don't want to be just your best friend." He said.
"Well that's what I want you to be." After I said it, I realized that I sounded a little rude. But it was too late to change it now. Besides, it was true, and I might as well have made that as clear as I could. "One day, you'll find someone who is to you who Derek is to me." I told him. "And it's not me. It was never going to be me."
"How do you know that?" He asked.
"I just know," I replied, my voice soft. I was fighting back the urge to cry. "Just trust me on that." When Xavier didn't say anything else, I turned on my heel and slipped out of the storage room. If I was being honest with myself, a part of me wanted him to come after me. Not because he was my prince, but because I wanted him to tell me that he would stand by me as my friend.
But he didn't say a word.
I let the door close behind me, ducked behind the counter and grabbed my bag, and headed to the front door without saying a word to my mom. I wasn't supposed to leave the floor unattended, but I had to go talk to Xavier in the back room, and I didn't have the guts to hang around. I pushed out onto the sidewalk, realizing that it was, very literally, the first time I'd been alone in Chicago. I became deaf when I was eleven and only left the house with Bailey, and even then we needed an adult to drive us around. After I lost my hearing, I wasn't allowed to leave my mother's line of sight. I had never driven a car. I'd never gone shopping alone. I had never even walked down to the gas station to get my own candy alone.
Alone. For the first time in my life, I was truly alone. I took in a breath that was slightly hitched. I leaned against the shop windows for a moment, trying to find where I wanted to go. I had always been pretty good at finding my way around the city. I'd lived in Chicago for my entire life, and when I didn't have a book to read I was looking out the windows. With a new sense of determination, I stepped away from the shop, purse slung over my shoulder, and headed to the nearby park where Bailey and I had always gone when we had free time.
I trampled down the dirt path and found a bench to sit on under the overhang of a wide tree. The shade was actually a little cool, so cool that I found goose flesh rising on my arms. Or maybe it was just because of what I had done. I had confronted my best friend and told him that he was going to stay my best friend forever. I'd left my mom's shop – fifteen minutes too early, at that – without telling her where I was going.
I sat there for a while, I wasn't sure how long, watching the water in the creek run by. Little kids played games on the nearby playground, their parents sitting on benches and making sure that they didn't hurt themselves. People with more determination than I had ran along the path in their little jogging shorts with their iPods plugged in. It was almost surreal, sitting on a park bench by myself, listening to the sounds of everything moving around me.
My phone vibrated in my purse. It was probably a text message from my mom, demanding to know where I had gone. I pulled it out and went to open it before realizing that it was a call. From Derek. My thumb slid over the screen and I put it to my ear. "Hello?"
"Emily," Derek breathed. He sounded relieved. "Where are you, sweetheart?" Derek actually sounded like he was about to have a heart attack. I closed my eyes and focused on him, trying to connect myself with him. The more I tried, the more I could feel the undertone of his heart in my chest, beating wildly, like he'd just run five miles.
I sniffled. "The park," the words were low and whispered. I brought my knees up to my chest. "Derek," I began, but he cut me off.
"I'll be there soon. Just stay where you are. Okay? I love you."
"Love you," I replied just as he hung up the phone. I sat there, staring down at my screen. The first phone call I received in eight years. I felt like it should be a momentous thing. Not every person goes without anybody calling them for eight years.
I rested my chin on my knees and continued to look out over my own little section of the park, secluded in the shade on my park bench. Tears stung in my eyes. I wasn't really sure why I was crying. I'd told Xavier exactly what he needed to know, and he still refused to accept the fact that I was with Derek. He'd kissed me, and my imprint had done something to him in retaliation. I'd left my mom's shop. I'd worried Derek. Frustrated, a drug the back of my hand along my cheek. I was just frustrated with myself, with the way things were, with the fact that I was so weak I couldn't just cut Xavier lose. I didn't have the guts to tell him that if he wanted to pretend that we weren't friends then I could do the same thing, too. Instead, I'd subjected myself to one of the most awkward conversations I'd ever had in my entire life.
I was so focused on my thoughts that I wasn't really aware of the outside world. An arm draped over my shoulders, pulling me into a warm side. "Sweetheart," he whispered in my ear. I turned to him, immediately burying my face in his chest. His hand rubbed up and down my arm, sending his soothing calmness through me, erasing the goose flesh on my arms, putting the two of us together. "It's okay, baby. Everything will be okay."
Sorry for such the long wait in getting this chapter out. As I told BreeTico, I've been suffering from an extreme writer's block that's lasted the last couple of weeks. I'm pretty sure I'm slowly dying inside. Hopefully, finishing this chapter was enough to give me a jump start into the next chapter or in my own personal works, which have slowly been coming along, if they've been moving at all. Sigh.
I'm going to go ahead and apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. Usually, I've written the chapter and have read over it to make sure everything's in place. But this time I'm too lazy to do so, and I want to get this chapter out ASAP. So please don't shoot me for my mistakes. :P
Thank you so much for reading this, for sticking with it over the past eighteen chapters. I'm still trying to form up the next ones, as well as trying to decide how to end Emily and Derek's story. I'm not sure how far off it is, but I do believe that we're more than halfway through. So anyway.
Thank you for reading, and please do take the time to leave me a review in the box below. I really do love them. They make me smile. Peace (: