A/N: This quick update was for katiejean01 who is standing in line returning textbooks and she happens to be very very bored lol
A month ticked by and Arizona hadn't seen Sofia, actually she had. When she had the time she would slip up to daycare and play with Sophia, to hug her and hold her. How did she get herself here? She walked out of day care, looking both ways and made her way to PEDS but on her way there she saw Lauren at the nurse's station. Looking on she saw that Lauren was flirting with a new nurse who was blushing like a school girl, shaking her head she looked at the nurse further and saw a huge ring on the nurse's ring finger. Gasping Arizona turned and decided to go the long way, as anger welled up for getting herself in this position. Arizona continued to walk until she stopped and looked around where she was, taking it as a sign she took a deep breath and walked into the room.
Looking over some charts Callie sat eating her lunch but stopped when a beautiful blonde walked up to her then sat down, closing one of her charts Callie looked at the woman.
"Hi, my name is Tahlia and I have been seeing you around the hospital and was wondering if you would like to go out some time?" Callie sat stunned this woman was gorgeous blonde hair, bluish-green eyes and a smile that stood out brightly. Instantly she thought of Arizona, and that is when she started to feel sad.
"I'm married." Callie replied.
"Oh, but I heard you and your wife were split up. Have been for some months, but I understand breaking up isn't easy."
"We are split up but, yeah it is hard." Callie looked down at her food she felt her heart breaking all over again.
"Listen, if you change your mind or find yourself ready and willing to date look for me first. I say that because there are a ton of people in line for you and I want to at least know I am first in line, okay?" Shooting her head up Callie looked stunned.
"What did you say?"
"Let me know if you change your mind." The woman named Tahlia sat confused.
"No about lined up for me."
"Oh there are a ton of people in line for you and I want to know I am first in line, when you are ready of course." Callie sat with a shocked expression then quickly cleared it and nodded with a smile.
"Great!" The blonde left with a smile and started to walk away as Callie stood up she turned and found the woman standing in front of her. Before Callie could speak the woman was kissing her and Callie couldn't deny it felt…amazing.
"Just something for you to think about." The blonde smiled and winked as she turned and walked away, Callie stood speechless. She liked that kiss, no she loved it. Gulping Callie begun to panic, how had she gotten here how did they get here. Cheating, splitting up, abuse and now liking the fact that she was being kissed by this mysterious woman as she dumped her tray the first thing Callie thought in her head was; I wish Mark was here.
Her hands were clasped her one foot tapped on the floor, her eyes wondered. The room was rather large but in this moment it felt small, constricting. Tears wanted to burst out, she wanted to scream, kick, and beg for forgiveness.
"So what brings you to my office today, Arizona?" The man in an expensive looking brown suit asked.
"I started walking and I ended up here, I assume it is karma." Arizona replied her voice detached, the man nodded.
"Okay, well what has been happening in your life to think it is karma?"
"I cheated on my wife, a new doctor came to work a case and she flirted with me. I liked it, no I loved it and we kept that up for a few days then…I kissed her. It almost went further I wanted it to her hands were moving there but I couldn't, I ran well walked and told my wife. She didn't take it well, now I have my own apartment."
"What else?"
"Lauren, the woman I cheated on Calliope my wife with she…"
"She what, Arizona?"
"She says things and does things…she hurts me and I find myself staying because I believe I deserve it for all the times I have hurt Calliope." Arizona started crying, the man handed her a tissue box that she quickly grabbed and wiped her eyes.
"No one deserves to be abused."
"I do, I don't know what is wrong with me! It took me so long after the crash to even partially open up, before Lauren came along Callie and I had started having sex again! I don't understand why would I cheat on her, I love her!" Arizona yelled as she stood up and begun to pace, writing down some things the man stood up and made sure he stood in front of Arizona.
"You were in a crash, that is traumatic and it sounds like you haven't sought out counseling for PTSD." Arizona stopped and stared at the psychologist.
"PTSD, you think I have PTSD! That is impossible I was cleared!" Arizona burst out.
"Angry episodes, displaced emotions, Arizona you haven't gotten over things from the past. The crash just made them all hit you, and PTSD can come late. In this instance I think you were always having it, you were starting to get better but you had a slip sometime which has caused your mind to become jumbled. Why were you attracted to this Lauren?" The psychologist asked as he slowly got Arizona to sit in a chair with him not sitting on the coffee table so they were face to face.
"I don't know."
"Oh, but I think you do know."
"She…she flirted with me. Since the accident no one has flirted with me, and it felt good."
"Your wife Calliope was it how did she react to the accident?"
"Yes, Calliope she stood by me, I was so mean to her and we did argue but I always started it. I…I started them I strung her along. When I got my new leg so I could wear heels I told her it would be the night…"
"The night?"
"For sex that it would be the night, she was so excited because we hadn't really done anything I mean we had but not really. Then my leg hurt and she got so mad and I felt horrible, but then when I was looking at x-rays she came in and comforted me. She massaged my leg and it felt good, I felt loved and beautiful again." Tears slipped through Arizona's eyes, handing her another tissue the doctor thought about his next question.
"What happened that night?"
"Calliope put Sophia our down for bed and I got into this sexy night gown and asked her to massage me leg, but it lead to more. It had been so long."
"How did it feel?"
"Amazing, so amazing she did everything right we hadn't had sex like that since we first got together." Arizona started remembering that night but it only caused more tears, nodding the therapist held Arizona's one hand and let her calm down before going to his next question.
"Why cheat on your wife when nothing else should matter?"
"I don't know." Arizona sat confused.
"You wanted to feel beautiful again, Calliope makes you feel beautiful but you wanted that confirmation from others. Before the accident you probably didn't care what people thought of you but after the accident you found you wanted everyone's approval, you wanted people to be attracted to you again. Lauren made you feel that, now unlike before you would have been hit on and laughed and smiled and went about your life. Went home to Calliope, made love to her or sat and watched T.V. with her but with what you have been feeling and the PTSD it is causing you to displace your emotions." The doctor concluded Arizona took in what he said and as she thought about it hit her he was right.
Since the accident she wasn't being hit on anymore, the only compliment that came was when she got her leg that allowed her to wear heels and Callie had pointed her butt out. She was embarrassed but she hadn't felt that sexy in a long time, she hadn't felt that…flirted with in so long. Looking up at the therapist he nodded then stood, they both knew they had touched on something.
"Oh my God, I cheated on my wife I…what do I do?"
"I am going to suggest coming and seeing me once a week I am going to give you some exercises to do for PTSD. If that does not work we will try medication, I also suggest that once we reach further into our sessions that Calliope joins us. We are going to put you back together Arizona, I might not be able to bring your leg back but we are going to bring the old you back."
Arizona walked out of the office and found that she did not have to take deep breaths, she was able to just walk. As she walked she contemplated the doctors words, she needed to get better the whole time she pushed things down until they exploded in her face. Ending up in the cafeteria she saw Callie sitting with Meredith and Derek, Cristina and Owen, Bailey and Alex. She didn't want to say what she needed to in front of everyone but she was going to buck up and just let things out, she walked up to the table on a mission. Slowly each of the occupants at the table saw her coming, finally stopping in front of Callie she spoke.
"I am sorry, and before you speak I need to say this. I screwed up and I will explain more but right now I need, I need your help and I know you probably don't want to but I am in trouble. And not just with Lauren but with myself, I talked to someone today and…I am trying to make myself stronger, bring back the old me or at least make myself someone I can live with. So please help me, if I stay where I am I will die. Lauren, was a mistake the biggest mistake of my life and I will always regret it. I need help and you are the only person I trust, and I know the irony of that because you don't think you can trust me but…I can't…I can't be hit again. I can't." Arizona choked out as sobs started to come of her, jaws were dropped at the table.
Callie stood up and looked at Arizona, instead of the strong man in a storm she always saw Arizona as she now saw her as a man out in the waves of the storm struggling to hang on. As she continued look at her wife she felt herself run, but not run away run towards the storm towards the waves. She felt herself jump in, and that is when Callie stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Arizona in the tightest hug she had ever given. Arizona wrapped her arms around her and sobbed, the waves swallowed them they made it to where they couldn't breathe but they both fought and they were going to continue to fight.