So i thought about it and decided to carry on writing straight after i uploaded the other chapter. This is a pretty long chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter Eight.

Brendan's POV.

I had tried to keep myself in the conversation but I couldn't, all I could hear was Stephen's voice rising as he defended me and Seamus's voice it was smaller and it sounded like he was trying to make Stephen re-think what he was saying, but it wasn't working. I would have said something but I couldn't think straight, what did Stephen mean by

"You ain't gunna win, ya might think ya gunna get away with this, but ya ent! I won't let ya. Ya gunna pay for what ya did to him. Ya sick."

What did that mean? Was he going to get the police involved, cause that is not happening, I can't let Cheryl find out what happened, tarnish the memories she had of him, I can't make her choose who to believe me or her precious da, it's not fair. I also wasn't letting Stephen get involved, he had Leah and Lucas to think off, plus he had work and everything else he didn't need this on his plate too. This was mine and Seamus's battle no one else's.
The door opened dragging me from my thoughts; it was Joel's girl Theresa, the dippy McQueen. I didn't pay any attention to what she was saying I just heard Stephen's voice strong and clear, not a slight hint of fear telling Seamus he is leaving, and he did!

I watched from the sofa as Stephen took Theresa's order, usually he would be chatting away and in his element, but right now he looked as if he would rather be doing anything than listing to blondie going on about her family. The sun outside shone in through the window, it was the middle of winter and it seemed the sun made things colder than warmer. Stephen's skin glowed in the rays. But now was not time to be taking notice of things like that. I needed to think of a plan. If I got away from here Stephen would not be in harm's way, he will be so annoyed at me for walking away from him instead of fighting that he will not do anything stupid to get Seamus back. So when blondie left I walked slowly over to Stephen taking in every inch of him, knowing this is going to be the last time I see him, the last time I will ever see his beautiful face, with his extra long lashed and styled hair, the last time I will ever touch his lips. He walked towards me, and told me I can't let my da get to me, but although I was petrified of my da, I was more scared of what Stephen would do if I stayed, so that is what I concentrated on. I knew I couldn't be all soppy with him now, I couldn't say those three words cause he will say them back, and if he did I would not be able to go. I gave him a small peck, anything more than that and I would have had to stay here too.

I was in the club in the office looking around and thinking of the memories I had had in here, all the one's that came to mine involved Stephen. The night after 'he' kissed me, and he told me he had never done it before and then revealing that he had thought about it when he was in juvy with some guy, or when the club was jam packed with rails of underwear and girls walking around flaunting their bodies hoping to get lucky, and me and Stephen was locked up in here having just fucked, about to have round two when Ann and Rae walked in. This is also the place Danny first threatened me about Stephen, then he ended up dead In the basement, I think that's when I realised I was in love with Stephen, I just killed a man for him! But now was not the time to look back at old memories. Now was time to sort out everything at the club so it would run smoothly, although I would never say it to his face I am pretty sure Joel would be able to cope, plus Chez would be here to help.

I walked into mine and Chez's flat and looked around, it seemed everyone was out. Now that made it easier, I wouldn't have to face Chez, I can just leave her a letter I would write after I packed. I walked over to my bedroom and grabbed a hodel from the top shelf of my wardrobe and just grabbed clothes and started shoving them in the bag, I could hear my phone ringing, again, it was Stephen I could just sense it, but I couldn't answer it otherwise just hearing his voice will force me to stay. I dashed up to the bathroom and grabbed my shaver, some foam and my toothbrush. As I walked back along the hallway I caught sight of Lynsey's old bedroom door ajar, I pushed the door open and looked inside. The walls still pink, the bed still in the same place, but it felt different it was no longer a comfort to look at this room and remember the memories of her because all I could see was reminders that Da was here, and he was staying in the room, in the room of an amazing girl that I will forever miss, the girl who was like a sister to me, the girl who I found dead on the sofa downstairs where she had been murdered. I wondered that if she was still here if she would be all excited to see Seamus, would she pick up on my mood? Maybe she would have worked it out, she always was a bit like a detector, she sussed the local murderer. My heart swelled with pride at the thought of Lynsey, she was such a brave girl, she stood by what she believed and if she was here and knew I was about to run away from this she would be telling me I was a chicken and I should be brave for myself and Stephen, but I was never as brave as she was, she was just phenomenal, she was accused of going mental, her best friend for life turned her back on her, yet she never walked away, and I was proud to say that I knew this girl, but I wasn't Lynsey I was Brenda I was a chicken I ran away when things got tough, but I was running to protect the one person I will always love.

I had packed everything I needed, now it was just the matter of writing a letter to Chez, this was going to be the hardest part, but I had to do it.

Chez,

I know that thing's haven't been perfect between us since visiting nana. I am sorry for everything I have done and for what you saw, you shouldn't have seen that. Maybe if knew the whole story behind it you might be able to understand a bit more, that man was Joel's stepdad, he used to beat the shit out of Joel and his mum, then just before we visited I caught him out the front of Chez Chez hitting Joel, so we tied him up and then was planning on teaching him a lesson, not to kill him though! Then you said about nana, so we had a bit of a detour, basically things got a bit out of hand and he hit Joel with a hammer, so we found him and he had Theresa so we found him and sorted Theresa out, then we took him to a lighthouse and hung him from it, but we wasn't planning on killing him, just scaring him, so when we pulled him up, before he got over the rails he spat on me, and Joel pushed him away from me, and he fell and we didn't have time to catch the rope, I couldn't see Joel go down for something that I helped cause, he was in such a state I told him to go to Theresa and not to say anything, act normal and I would sort the rest out, and obviously you know what I mean by that now.
I am going, I can't stand staying here any longer and hurting the one's I love. I love you Chez, I always will your my baby sister, I just had to tell you what happened, I couldn't go and have you not knowing the truth. Me and dad have issues as you know and I just can't have Stephen around him, I am sorry. So I am going to go away and let you live your life easily without having the hassle to worry about me all the time. I will maybe drop you a call once in a while.
I know its asking a bit much with everything I have told you, but can you please give Stephen the letter inside this one? I need him to understand why I am going. I can't risk hurting him again, I can't get his hopes up having a big open relationship and then me destroying it. I hate myself for what I did to him, I will never forgive myself, but I hope one day you and he will.
Don't worry about the club I sorted all that out for a couple of weeks, Joel knows what to do anyway.
Speaking of Joel, can you tell him that I may not act like it but I do actually care for him, tell him I said to behave himself, no dodgy deals, and I will give him a call or something soon?
I love you Chez, you're the best thing ever. Your so brave, you coped with what happened to Lynsey better than me, and I know that she will be looking down on you thinking your doing pretty amazing right now considering everything that has happened! It's up to you what you do now, with everything I told you in this letter, you do what you think is right, no matter what you choose I will love you cause your my baby sis, forever.

Love you always.

B x

That had to be the hardest thing I have ever written in my life. I sealed the letter I had written to Stephen, and then placed it in the envelope with the letter to Chez I sealed that one to and left it on the table.

I took one glance around the house taking in everything, the colour, the smell and I know I will never forget it. I locked the door after me and walked down the steps. I could hear the pounding music coming from the club, it was darkness outside, it was only 9 but it seemed much later. I looked around the village, I never thought it was possible, I have always hated this village I only stuck around for Chez, Lynsey and Stephen, but as I take in the views I realise I am going to miss it. I realise I am going to miss quite a few people here to, Mitzeee for one, she is great and I really hope she pulls through what she is going on at the moment and becomes her happy self once more. For some reason Jacqui McQueen pop's into my head, and as I think of her i think about her and Rhys, working in the club to go on and become married and for Rhys to pass away, I really felt for her she is a decent girl bit goby though. Anyway enough thinking about the people here, I unlock the car door and slide onto the leather seat, as I start the engine I take one look around the village before I leave Hollyoaks forever.

Right i am going to carry on writing so the next chapter should be up in the next hour or two if i get it finished. x