Volume VI – Outlaws

Chapter 40—Blackout

Grace

My ears were filled with the sharp chirping of birds outside the cabin as I began to wake from my all-too-realistic dream. For a second, I thought I'd slept with Matt.

And then I realized he was in my bed. And he was shirtless. And he was snoring.

"Matt," I said groggily, shaking him slightly.

He mumbled something and groaned, stretching and yawning noisily.

"Hi," I said awkwardly.

"Morning," he beamed, leaning in to kiss me.

"Ah," I stopped him, putting my finger up to his lips, "morning breath."

He grinned and chuckled, "my bad. You hungry?"

"Starving."

"Let's eat!" he enthused, rolling out of bed and heading for the door.

"Aren't you gonna…um…you know…get dressed?" I asked sheepishly, looking away from his bright blue boxers.

"It's not like I'm not wearing underwear," he said, "I always cook in my underwear."

"You are so weird," I laughed, stepping out of my bed onto the hardwood floors.

I told him I'd be in the kitchen in a few moments as I headed for my bathroom and washed up. What did I do last night? I knew I'd drank a bit too much, but I seemed to remember everything pretty fine. I guess I just forgot that kissing Matt meant a lot more than just kissing him.

That was the complicated bit. I'm sure you think I'm a terrible person for not reciprocating his feelings. Well, I'm really not. I just…I wasn't ready to commit to someone for years at a time. I had never even had a real relationship, and I wasn't sure if Matt was the one, you know? But…I did love him. I cared about him a lot. And I usually hated his girlfriends, like that bitch Michelle Meyers. But did that mean that I was ready to marry the guy?

Not by a long shot.

Frustrated with myself, I threw on a hoodie and headed out to the chilly kitchen where Matt was cracking eggs on a skillet.

"You're cooking?" I asked, curious.

"Hell yeah! Bacon, eggs, pancakes; you know…the works," he said excitedly.

"By hungry, I meant I was getting cereal," I mumbled lazily, reaching for the box on top of the refrigerator.

"Aw, come on; I'm a good cook, I promise!" he defended himself.

"Something smells good," Patrick said as he entered the room in a pair of shorts.

"What is it with guys and walking around everywhere in their underwear?" I groaned as Aaron entered behind Patrick…also in his underwear.

"Hey, I'm wearing shorts," Patrick said as he reached inside the fridge for some orange juice.

"Whatcha cookin, Matt?" Aaron asked, smelling his way to the skillet.

"Breakfast!"

Jesus, why was he so excited? It was like, 9 in the morning and I had a headache from hell.

"Mind if I help?" Patrick wondered as he pulled out a spatula.

"Only if you wear this apron," Aaron said jokingly as he held up my mom's bright pink apron.

"Dude, you dare me to?" Patrick laughed back enthusiastically, pulling the apron over his head.

"Take that off!" I screeched at him.

The three boys looked at me curiously.

"Um…okay," Patrick said sadly, handing the apron to me.

I snatched it back and pulled my box of cereal down from the refrigerator. It was empty.

"Who the fuck ate my Cinnamon Toast Crunch!" I bellowed.

Patrick and Aaron looked at me apprehensively, Matt's fingers twitching nervously.

"I can make you some eggs," he said quietly and timidly.

"Whatever," I replied shortly as I stalked into the living room.

I flicked on the TV, watching blankly as the mindless program droned on about what I was wearing at last year's Grammy Awards. Seriously? I was on the most-wanted listed of the universe's largest division of Ranger operatives, and the only thing the world cared about was how my dress was apparently "too retro-chic and conservative."

"Hey," Amy greeted me as she wandered in, the agitation on her face plain as day.

"Hungover?" I asked.

"No, I'm just not a morning person and I hardly slept over the sound of Sanders puking his guts up last night," she replied.

"Not like we're gonna get any sleep with Chef Jamison flipping eggs to the cabin ceiling," I said as I changed the channel with the remote, glaring slightly at Matt, who was flawlessly flipping eggs while Patrick was repeatedly popped by bacon grease.

"Well, I'm just glad he's cooking—I'm starving."

I merely changed the channel in response.

"That is a terrible picture of you," she said randomly as the silence was settling in, mentioning the picture displayed on the television screen.

"Gee, thanks, Amy."

"No, I mean the lighting in it, for one, is horrible. I don't know why they were using a closed-loop lighting pattern while you're supposed to be outside; it just shows how fake the sweep is in the background. And they really should have used a warming gel if they were trying to match the sunset in the backdrop."

I looked at her. "Um…I thought you were in Mass Communications, not Photography?"

"Well, I took a Physics of Light class freshman year and kinda…took them every semester afterwards…" she said shyly. "Just…don't tell my parents. They would flip shit if they knew I was 'wasting money' on a photography class."

"Why don't you just go to school for that instead?"

"Not everyone gets to live their dreams, Grace," she said softly with a small smile. "Cig break?"

"God, yes."

As Amy and I headed outside, I heard the rest of the cabin begin to wake up. The Mecha Squad rangers had all shared rooms, using a total of 3, and Patrick and Aaron took another room. Amy and Jay had slept in the living room with Beth, who was in the shower now.

"So, what's up with you and Matt?" she finally asked as she lit her cigarette.

"What do you mean?"

"You guys were like, totally couple-y yesterday," she laughed. "It was really cute."

"That's just how Matt and I are," I shrugged, lighting my cigarette as well.

"Grace," she said seriously, "come on. I've known you guys since middle school, and you've always been close. But…things are different now."

"I dunno, Amy…I just don't think I'm ready to commit yet. I've never had a relationship before, and…I dunno…what if I mess it up? Not only would I not have a boyfriend, I'd lose my best friend, too."

"Well, yeah, but I mean…do you really think that's gonna happen with Matt?"

"I'm not worried about him, I'm worried about me fucking it up. I mean…what if I'm not in love with him?"

"Then he would have to understand that. And I really think he would, if it came to that. I mean, look at Patrick and Aaron; Aaron cheated on him and destroyed their relationship. But they're okay…for the most part. It just takes time."

"Is that how you feel about Jay?" I asked quietly.

"Well, I'm in love with him…and what he did was so long ago that I don't really know how to hold it against him. It doesn't really have anything to do with us now, so…I'm sure it'll just take a little time to forget it even happened."

"Wow," I sighed, "you are incredible."

She laughed. "What do you mean?"

"You're so mature with your emotions…I feel like I'm in high school again."

"It's your first relationship, Grace; it's supposed to be scary."

—40—

So, as pissy as I was earlier, I had calmed down considerably after my cigarette break with Amy. I wasn't sure if it was the nicotine or her guidance, but either way, it made me feel better.

I waited for my boyfriend—yes, boyfriend—to finish my eggs, and ate them gratefully, though I finally discovered who ate my Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

I made a note to castrate Sanders the next time he decided to take my food without asking.

I finished my food and headed back to my room to pick out my outfit for the day, Matt following me.

"Do you think last night was an accident?" he asked me solemnly as he leaned against my bathroom door.

I stood in front of my closet, shocked.

"N-no! Why would you say that?" I asked concernedly, setting the shirt down on my bed and stepping over to him.

"I dunno…you won't hardly talk to me," he said softly. "I just don't wanna rush you into anything you don't wanna do."

I smiled gently at him, rubbing his cheek. "To be honest, yeah: I was a little freaked out when we woke up together…but…I'm working on trying to be close to people. Close to you."

He beamed and leaned into hug me, but I took his face gently with my hands and guided his mouth to my lips.

"You taste like bacon," I giggled as we parted.

"You taste like eggs."

"Bacon and eggs," I laughed, grabbing my clothes from my bed.

He laughed with me as he plopped down on the bed. "How long do you think you'll be in the shower?"

"Well, it depends on if I'm alone or not," I said with a daring glance at him before I went into my bathroom.

He was right behind me in seconds.

"Are you sure?" he asked, hesitating to drop his boxers in front of me.

"Matt," I said impatiently, "I'm fine. Just take off your stupid underwear."

He blushed, but otherwise complied, turning away from me.

"Um…if we're going to shower together, I'm gonna see you naked at one point or another," I said awkwardly.

"Well," he stuttered, "it's just that…it doesn't take much for me to…you know…"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, just don't do it on me."

He blinked confusedly for a few seconds before it clicked. "Oh! No! Not that!"

"Then what do you mean?"

"I just…get…you know…!" He held up his hand and extended his forefinger back and forth.

"Oh!" I laughed. "Dude, I don't care if you get a stiffy. At least it works."

If his face wasn't bright red before, it was now, and his fingers were twitching non-stop.

"Just get in the shower, Matt," I laughed, pulling off my shirt.

It wasn't until ten-or-fifteen minutes into the shower that I realized how comfortable I felt. It was…strange to feel so at-ease with a naked male behind me. Especially Matt. But, like he said, he didn't rush me into anything. He knew how I was. And he knew why I was that way.

I bristled slightly when Matt kissed the side of my neck, his breath shaky at best. I knew he was afraid of my reaction because I was such a wild card. And I felt horrible that he had to be that way with me. I felt so horrible that he was afraid to touch me because of my fucked up past.

All because Terrance wanted to make sure I'd never want to be with a man again.

I fought past my demons, wanting more and more to let them go. So I tilted my neck the tiniest bit, as if giving him clearance. If I wanted to be close with him, it meant dropping my walls. Every single one of them.

I faced him and met his lips again, our tongues slipping over each other slowly as the shower sprinkled softly but firmly upon my back. Pulling him under the stream, I leaned against his chest as I lifted my head to reach his face. And for the time being, I felt so right. This was what consent felt like. It wasn't angry or belittling—it was exhilarating and refreshing…just like a shower.

I felt him press against me hungrily but patiently, his hand massaging the middle of my back. My own hands dug slightly at his back, fingernails scraping his soft skin lightly. His lips found my neck again and I let my head loll back faintly in pleasure. I wanted this forever.

This was one of the reasons people stayed together, as shallow as it sounded. Sexual compatibility was one of the most intrinsic parts of a relationship, so I'd heard. It made sense, to an extent; if you weren't comfortable with someone in every way, then how could you possibly be romantically involved with them forever?

I gasped slightly as I felt his teeth brush over my exposed neck and I wrenched my hands in his sopping hair, clinging to him to keep myself from calling out.

But it happened anyway.

"Shhhhh," he laughed, the water dripping from his hair and trailing down his handsome face.

"To be honest," I chuckled, suddenly short of breath, "I don't know if I can."

"That's fine with me," he grinned.

He moved into kiss me again, but after several minutes, I pulled away.

"Don't judge me on this," I panted, "but…but I…I uh…"

"Are you serious?"

I bit my lip and nodded anxiously. "I love that you're reading my mind right now."

"Always," he said breathlessly, meeting my lips effortlessly and tilting me against the shower wall.

Sickening as it was, it was almost reflex for me to lift my leg up near his waist. For a moment, I felt disgusted with myself; but as soon as the moment came, my voice of reason rang through loud and clear. It was reflex because this was natural. Every human being possessed that sexual craving, and it wasn't wrong for me to embrace it. Not if I chose to.

Our kissing—or maybe the water—heated the room intensely, and when I thought I could wait no longer, he pulled away again and caught his breath to tell me something. I hardly understood him at first, my ears being overridden by every other feeling I was processing.

"What?" I asked him.

"I need a condom," he said again, not at all the shy Matty I was used to.

Before me, stood a man. A full-grown man. And I can't say it didn't make me want him even more.

I smiled at him. "That's the guy's job, not mine."

"I'll be right back," he said, biting his lip in thought.

He jumped out the shower and made his way to the bedroom. Through the door, I could hear him throwing things around, talking to himself angrily, and then shouting in success.

He was back in seconds.

"I changed my mind," I said, turning away from him and rinsing off my face. "You took too long."

"What?" he asked flatly. "Are you serious?"

"You shoulda came prepared," I said simply.

His silence was more than I could stand and I turned around, grinning madly at him. "I'm fucking with you, Matty."

He chuckled sarcastically, "Oh, you're fucking with me, huh? We'll see about that."

I was completely taken aback by his attitude. Was this really Matt I was talking about losing my virginity to? I knew I was getting too caught up in myself, but I was finding it hard to believe my best friend possessed this side of him. I'd never thought of Matt as sexy before. Never. Not until that exact moment.

We reunited passionately, and before I knew it, my legs were around his waist as he held me up against the shower wall with his firm, strong arms. As he pushed forward, he let out a small grunt, trying his very best not to hurt me. It was evident by the look on my face, though, that he wasn't succeeding.

"I'm sorry," he kept saying, slowly easing forward.

"Stop apologizing," I groaned through my teeth, "it's not your fault."

He remained silent, softly kissing my forehead and my lips and my cheeks and my neck. He was so perfectly gentle that it made me almost want to cry. Why had I put this off for so long? Why had I deprived myself of this for all these years? It reminded me so much of how Patrick would describe being with Aaron—the most intimate and affectionate thing I'd ever heard. At the time, it used to make me jealous—sometimes, even nauseous. But right now, I understood everything he meant. The bittersweet pain, the agonizing patience, the euphoric after-effect.

Wait, euphoric?

Suddenly, I realized the pain had gone. And everything was purely electrifying.

"You okay?" he asked again.

For the first time, though, I responded silently by pulling him closer and claiming his lips as my own once more.

—40—

To say I was much happier for the rest of the day would be a gross understatement. Aside from the massive breakdown I had after, I was on cloud nine. I could say the sex was what made me so happy, but I knew it was the fact that Matt made me feel better about it when I felt dirty and used when it was all over. Leave it to me to pick out the fact that he had essentially said we were "fucking." The word left a sour taste in my mouth. But, leave it to Matt to be the hopeless romantic who called it "making love." As sickeningly corny as it was, it was the exact thing I needed to hear.

Everyone could tell from the look on my face that I was the happiest I'd ever been; and if I wasn't obvious, Matt certainly was. He couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day, and I felt like we were constantly right next to each other—even when he was in a different room than me.

For the most part, we all stayed inside. The weather outside was shitty now, a storm front coming in from the west and darkening the skies with an ominous presence. Just as we'd all finally agreed on a movie to watch, we heard an eruption shake the air.

"What was that?" Sanders asked the same question on everyone's minds.

"Thunder?" Jay wondered optimistically.

Aaron looked at Jay skeptically. "Let's check it out."

The 13 of us made our way out the front door, bracing ourselves for whatever we were about to find. There, on the lakeshore, were Ascended Gabriel, Mira, Rheas, and a troupe of Gigadroids.

"Looks like our hiding spot's not so hidden anymore," Josh groaned.

"Ready guys?" Aaron called out.

"READY!" we replied at once.

"CYBER DIGITIZE—ENERGIZE!"

"MECHA MODIFY—MOBILIZE!"

In an instant, we were sucked into battle. It was almost baffling how fast my life seemed to move from juxtaposing situations. One minute, I'm essentially losing my virginity to my first boyfriend, and the next, I'm fighting for my life against a horde of robotic soldiers, their psychotic masters, and one of my former classmates.

"Grace, watch your six!" Amy called to me, back-flipping over a Gigadroid's saber and slamming her padded elbow into the face-plate of another.

I ducked and tripped the Gigadroid behind me, and then enabled my Gauntlet Guard and blasted away at another three.

I looked up to see Patrick and Aaron trying to keep up with Gabriel while Josh and Kevin—Green and Red Mecha Rangers—held off Mira and Rheas.

"What do you want from us?" Aaron demanded Gabriel, slamming him into the sand.

"Your lives!" he roared out psychotically, swinging his wings violently at Aaron.

"We've got to fall back!" I shouted to Beth.

No sooner had I spoken did a Gigadroid land a strike with his saber to my midriff. I stumbled back in pain, only to be blasted by several more. From my position on the ground, I could see my teammates—all 12 of them—weren't faring any better.

"We need to take this up a notch!" Aaron called out above the commotion of battle.

I kick-upped and regrouped with my team as the Mecha Union held the Gigadroids at bay. Unfortunately, Gabriel had time to stop us.

"You took my powers! And now," he shouted as he laughed and pulled out a gun-shaped-device that had been holstered on his belt, "I'M TAKING YOURS!"

Just as we engaged our Digital Orymeka, he fired his array and struck us with some strange energy beam. In seconds, our suits were overcome by electricity that writhed up and down our bodies painfully.

"What—what did he do?" Beth groaned.

"He's infected us with some type of cybernetic virus!" Patrick growled out through gritted teeth.

In mere moments, our suits dematerialized, shorting out in a wave of static.

"What happened?" Aaron wondered as he looked at his morpher, which appeared to be fried.

"He's severed our connection to the Cyber Network," Amy said slowly.

"Guys, get out of here!" Josh yelled at us, "We'll hold them off!"

"Josh is right," Patrick said lowly, "we've gotta get back to Doc Ol's and see if we can get the Cyber Network back online."

"Be careful!" Amy called out to them before we each ignited our elemental powers and took off as fast as possible.

When we reached my dad's house, I could hardly process what was going on. SPD was everywhere, first of all. If it hadn't been for some quick thinking on Patrick's part to use the steam cloud tactic we used back on Mount Imperious, we probably wouldn't have made it. I was surprised they couldn't find my father's house, though. It was then that I realized he must have installed the new Perimeter Sensitivity Shields—an upgrade we'd been working on that used my shadow cloaking technology and Amy's telepathic pulse technology to keep people from not only seeing the house, but from even knowing it was there.

"I'm not sure if I can repair it in time to help the Mecha Squad fend off Gabriel and the others," my dad said quickly, typing furiously on his holo-computer's keyboard. "The damage he's dealt has crippled the whole system—even the Zordian portals."

"We can still use them if we need to though, right?" Patrick asked, voicing our concerns as he stepped toward the computer.

My father growled in frustration as his holo-keyboard vanished and the computer screen went blank. "To be honest, I have no idea how to even contact them. Our entire system has been compromised."

"Including the Shields?" Aaron asked.

The silence was the only answer we needed.

"Alright, guys, we've got to defend the perimeter," Aaron said, taking charge.

"No," Patrick argued, "if we go out there now, we're all as good as captured. And quite frankly, SPD is the last place any of us need to be right now."

"If we sit here, they'll destroy this place," I jumped in. "This is the only place on the planet that we'll be even remotely safe."

"Doc," Amy said, "what if Grace and I combine our powers? Do you think we could mimic the shields and keep the house cloaked?"

He was shaking his head before she'd even finished her sentence. "It's too dangerous. That type of stress on your body could knock you both out cold."

"Well, we can't just sit here," Beth chimed in.

"Let's do this, Amy," I said as we prepared to head upstairs.

"Grace, no," my dad called after me.

"Dad, you have to let me do this," I said. "We don't have any other choice."

"Just be careful," he finally acquiesced.

Matt grabbed my hand lightly and locked eyes with me. He didn't say anything, but that was because he knew I could read his mind without needing any extra special powers. Our bond was just that tight.

"I will," I said, though I wasn't sure if it was more toward Matt or my father.