Sorry this took so long! Hopefully it is worth the wait and I will get the next chapter up sooner. Please comment :)

I do not own Glee. Chapter title from "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds

August 2013

Rachel sat in the chair backstage, getting her wig put on and her make-up touched up before the show started. It started in less than five minutes, and she was nervously wringing her hands in her lap. She always imagined being fearless before her first Broadway performance, however, most of this whole experience wasn't going the way she imagined. She always pictured a certain, tall, freckled man would be sitting in the audience with flowers in her hand, cheering her on. But, things don't always turn out the way you planned, and this was her Broadway debut, so nothing was going to bring her down anymore. She spent the whole week thinking about him, so now it was time to focus.

Finn had constantly been on her mind and she just couldn't shake the sad feeling that consumed her when she thought of him. Although she wanted to hate him for what he said to her, if she was being completely honest with herself, she forgave him for that a while ago. She would never forget the horrible words he used against her, but she knew that he was—hell, probably still is—coming to terms and healing from the shooting. Kurt, Santana, and Rachel have all had melt downs because they were having a bad day and something triggered memories of the shooting, but they had each other to talk them through it and make them feel better. Finn was alone in California and had no one to talk through the traumatic event with. And unfortunately, he let it all out on Rachel.

It wasn't that Rachel wasn't angry with Finn, she was. However, what surprised her the most was what she was so angry with him for. Although Santana had specifically told him never to contact her again, wouldn't he have at least tried something if he really loved her? She was pissed that he gave up hope of her ever forgiving him, and so accepting of be out of her life forever. If he hadn't given up, they might have some sort of relationship with each other now, even if it was limited to a call or text a year. Anything would be better than this. She missed him so much, because more than anything, he was her best friend and now she felt like she lost him in the shooting along with everyone else.

She was pulled out of her bubble by one of her stage-managers shouting that it was time. "Places everyone! Show time!"

She took one last breath to clear her mind and forget the nerves. She needed to remember to soak up every second of this. She was about to live her dream and she wanted to keep this moment with her forever.

The show went perfectly. Rachel knew it was her best performance to date, and the cast and crew was so talented, she could see this getting great reviews and maybe even Tonys. As she took her bow, she looked out into the audience, picking out her fathers, Santana, Kurt, Burt and Carole. She scanned the crowd one last time, looking for the familiar face, hopeful he had secretly come, but didn't see him. A couple of times throughout the performance, she thought she saw him, but it never turned out to be him. It was just her eyes playing tricks on her and wishful thinking.

She skipped happily to her dressing room, still feeling a high from the standing ovation. She was going to change quickly and then go out for drinks with her family and friends to celebrate opening night. As soon as she walked into her room, she was assaulted by the smell of flowers lining the entire surface of her desk. She looked through the cards attached, finding one from her fathers, Kurt and Santana, and a bunch of classmates at NYADA.

The last one she saw made her heart skip a beat. Lying across her desk was a single pink Water Lily with an envelope beneath it. Water Lilies were her absolute favorite flowers and only one person knew…Finn. She carefully picked up the flower so she could get to the envelope underneath.

Rachel was written on the front in familiar handwriting, and felt like she was going to be sick. Did this mean he had been following along with her life? Had he sent this, or was he here, in New York, seeing her first Broadway performance? With all these questions swirling around her mind, she finally decided to open and see for herself.

Dear Rachel,

I cannot even begin to tell you how proud I am of all of your accomplishments. I always believed in you and knew you were a star, but now everyone else does too. I realize that I have no right to be in your life after how I treated you and spoke to you, but I had to keep my promise and be in that audience when you made your Broadway debut. I don't think I have ever truly apologized for all the things I've done wrong, so I just want to say (write, I guess) that I am so incredibly sorry. I'm sorry for blowing you off sophomore year and using you. I'm sorry for the whole Puck-Quinn situation—both times. I'm sorry I left you without warning and never contacted you. I'm sorry for blaming you for something you were a victim of, and were absolutely not responsible for. But most of all, I'm sorry that I didn't fight for what we had. It was special—one of a kind—and I screwed it up. I wish I could find another word to convey just how incredibly sorry I am because "I'm sorry" doesn't seem like enough.

Reading this over, makes me realize that I hurt you too much in the past, and I wonder how you even put up with me back then. I know I wouldn't have, but you're special and that's why I love you. I will love you every day for the rest of my life. Even though our lives have taken us apart from each other, please never doubt my love for you. If you are ever down or feeling insecure, which I know you do sometimes, please remember that there are a lot of people in this word that love you and believe in you, including me. I never expect you to forgive me for all of the shit I put you through, but if you ever need to talk or someone to yell at, my phone number is the same. You know I can handle almost any Rachel Barbara Berry breakdown, so lay it on me! Except maybe female problems, I was never good at that, but I'll try if you need me :) As always, I have found myself rambling, but you know I have never been very good with words. I just hope they were sufficient enough to let you know how much I love and care about you, so please, remember that if nothing else. I know you probably don't want to see me, but nothing can stop me from supporting you. I look forward to seeing you in many more staring roles to come. Don't stop believing. Ever.

All my love,

Finn

Ps. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. You were born to be a star.

Rachel was silent and still. She re-read the letter a couple times before the reality of the situation set in. Finn didn't let her go; he was still rooting for her and he loves her even now. She couldn't wipe the smile off of her face and her eyes welled up with tears she refused to cry. Finn had been here and saw her performance like he always promised. This didn't fix everything, but it gave her hope that sometime down the road, she and Finn could have some sort of friendship.

She placed the letter in her bag and continued removing her makeup and fixing her hair after taking off her wig. Before walking out of her dressing room, she picked up the Water Lily and placed it behind her ear. She gave herself a smile in the mirror and then turned off the lights. She felt more alive after the note than she did after her first Broadway show. Finn gave her a light and happiness that nothing else seemed to be able to replicate. She probably wouldn't call him right away, if at all, but simply knowing he was still there for her made her calmer and happier than she had been in a long time.

Finn stood outside the theater in the shadows, waiting for Rachel to come out. He didn't plan on approaching her, but he just had to see her out of character. Don't get him wrong, she looked amazing in her tiny, revealing costume, dark makeup, and short wig, but he wanted to see his Rachel. Kurt, Santana, her fathers, Burt, and his mother were all waiting in front of the theater for her, but he couldn't let them know he was here. This was something between Rachel and himself, and if he knew her, she wasn't going to tell anyone about his letter or him being here. He was hoping it was because she thought it was a special thing between the two of them, but it could also be because she was still so devastated by what he said. He was praying it was the former.

He picked his head up as soon as he heard a chorus of "congratulations!" and "you were amazing!" coming from the group. They had all engulfed her into a huge hug, and all he wanted to do was be apart of it, but he had taken himself out of the equation when he stopped frequent contact.

"Thank you guys so much for coming. It means the world to me." Rachel's beautiful voice sang.

It heart skipped a beat, and the breath left him when he saw her standing in the light of the theater. She was wearing a short, flowy, white dress with black heels that made her legs go on for days. Her skin had a glow to it and her eyes sparkled beautifully in excitement and joy. Her dark hair was shorter than he had ever seen it, barely reaching her shoulders in sexy, messy waves that made him want to run his fingers through her silky and shiny tresses. His nightly dreams about her did not do her justice…

As she happily chatted away with her friends and family, Finn just watched her every move, memorizing each detail so he would never forget. He probably looked like a creep, but that wouldn't stop him. She was like a drug for him and he had to get his fix before he went back to California in the morning. Her image would push him through 2 more years of college (he took summer school this summer), 4 years of medical school, and 4 years of residency. When he thought of all that work, he felt defeated, but when he saw Rachel living out her dreams, he knew it would be worth it.

He returned his attention to Rachel just in time to see an older man, at least mid-late twenties, approach her and kiss her right on the mouth. They shared a personal moment, whispering between each other before entwining hands and walking off with the rest of the group. Finn watched on with sad eyes, but knew it was inevitable. His and Rachel's love story ran its course and it didn't work out. He would be accepting of anyone she chose to date or marry as long as she was happy, and in that moment, she looked really happy.

Finn took one last look before turning away and retiring to his hotel. He had a long flight tomorrow and football practice the next day. Life was about to get hectic again, and this was his last night of summer before getting back into the grind.

7 years later…

2020

"Alright Miss, that's everything." The big, burly mover said as he set Rachel's couch down and wiped his forehead of sweat.

"Thank you so much" she said, as she shook his hand and signed the receipt for the cost of the moving company. "You did a great job! If I ever have to move again, I'll be sure to call you guys up." She smiled at him and his crew and walked them out the front door.

Once she showed them out, she walked back into her new living room and plopped down onto the plush couch. "Oh God!" she sighed out loud to herself as she closed her eyes in exhaustion. She had been working on all of the details of her move for the past three weeks, and could not be happier that she was finally done and could relax in her new home and start her new life.

Rachel picked up her phone and dialed the familiar number that seemed to make her feel especially lonely at the second.

"Hey Girlie! All moved in?" Kurt's voice rang through the speaker as soon as he picked up.

"Yes I am. And let me just say, moving sucks! I am never moving again!" Rachel got up from her seat on the couch and wandered over to the wall of windows overlooking the most gorgeous view she had ever seen.

Kurt chuckled at her response. "Good. I love that house! I cannot wait until San and I move out there in a couple weeks and it will feel like vacation everyday. These next three weeks are going to be hell without you refereeing our bitch fights."

Rachel laughed because it was 100% accurate. Kurt and Santana have a special, love/hate relationship that takes a certain person (Rachel) to calm them down and remind them of the love part quite often.

"Please, Kurt, promise me you will at least try to get along? I mean, you really don't need to pick a fight over every little thing…"

Kurt scoffed, offended. "Excuse me Rachel Berry, but throwing away my Chanel face butter is not alright!"

She covered her smile with her hand even though he couldn't see it over the phone. "It has been empty for nearly two years, Kurt. She was just trying to clean up and consolidate for the movers. Come on, who needs 22 bottles of lotion—most of which are completely used up—sitting in the bathroom?"

He let out a loud sigh, telling Rachel she was right, but not wanting to admit to the defeat. "Well, anyways…how's California? Call a certain someone who also happens to be in that state yet?" Kurt was clearly trying to change the subject from his problems to Rachel's.

It was her turn to sigh deeply this time. "California is beautiful. And, no, I haven't called him yet, but I will. Give a girl some time—I just got here this morning. Speaking of which…I'm totally dead right now from moving and flying all day, so I'm going to take a nice long bubble bath and then crawl into my new bed. I have to be up pretty early for the test shoots, but I'll call you later tomorrow, ok?"

"Yeah, Ok. Just please don't wait too long to tell Finn that you're in LA now. I know he's crazy busy with becoming a surgeon but the news will be everywhere, and it will surely catch his attention sooner rather than later. Love you, Rach. Talk tomorrow!"

"I know, I know. Soon…Love you! Tell San I love her too! Bye Kurt."

Rachel rubbed her tired eyes, and retreated to her new master bedroom. She hadn't unpacked everything yet, and as she made her way to her bed, a small box caught her eye. She carefully opened the glass jewelry box and took out the 8 letters neatly laid inside and brought them to her bathtub. Once the tub was full of bubbles and hot water, she climbed in and began to gently open the first of the letters.

It was the letter Finn had wrote her on her Broadway debut nearly seven years ago. After that first letter, she and Finn sent one letter a year to the other. They didn't particularly say much—they were just a way to let their feelings out and know someone on the other side was listening, but not judging. The letters were usually short and never needed a reply, which was the best part of all. They would write when one of them was having a bad/good day (week or month), something they were struggling with, or even if they were bored. It was a small way of reconnecting without truly reconnecting, which was exactly what they needed at the time. Neither one of them was ready for anything more than a short letter a year to remind themselves of each other.

The last letter Rachel had received from Finn had been about four months ago…

Dear Rachel,

Hope this letter finds you doing well. I managed to watch your latest Broadway hit, Moulin Rouge, on youtube and it was amazing! Wish I could have been there in person, but you were as phenomenal as ever, AND you received a Tony for best actress in a musical for it! Your first solo tony! I could not be more excited for you, but at the same time, I'm not surprised at all :). I wasn't able to watch the Tony's because I had a 72 hour shift at the hospital that weekend and couldn't get to the computer for even a second. Don't get me wrong! I love what I do, but it is the most exhausting job in the world, and sometimes, all the effort doesn't pay off. Those are the worst days…I'm having one of those days today, actually. I lost a patient today, and I know we did everything we could to save him, but it still fucking sucks, you know? I can't believe that I'll be 26 years old in less than 5 months…where does the time go? It's shocking to think how fast life passes you by…Which reminds me; happy belated 25th birthday, Hanukkah, and New Year! I hope everything was perfect and all you dreams and wishes come true this year.

Love,

Finn

She had been planning on sending him a letter, but then she got the call from Tom Stevens at Paramount. They wanted her to audition for the part of Anastasia Steele in the movie adaption of Fifty Shades of Grey. She was really apprehensive at first—between the racy sex scenes and crazy media attention she would likely receive, she didn't think she would be right for the part. However, Santana and Kurt convinced her to at least audition. She couldn't say no to them, and thought it would be something new and exciting to try after doing the same boring thing night after night for nearly two years. She was also coming out of a bad break-up with her boyfriend of 8 months, Camden, and it was a real confidence booster that they had even looked at her for this role.

Long story short, she was exactly what they wanted—someone fairly new, but still recognizable—and she had three weeks to move to LA until the move started pre-shooting. She had been scared about how raunchy the movie would be because she had read the books and loved them, but come on! She was not staring in a porno! Thankfully, the producers, writers, and director were all on the same page and didn't want the movie to be NC-17, and therefore, unwatchable for most of the public. It would show partial nudity and contain sexual and suggestive language, but it would be tasteful and appropriate, like a piece of art, not porn.

So, here she was, living on the beach in a gorgeous 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom house in Malibu. For some reason unknown to Rachel, Santana and Kurt loved her so much that they had decided to make the move with her. Santana had found a fairly successful job with a casting agency in the city, and had been able to get transferred to their LA branch, while Kurt had decided to quit his job at the salon and start his own in West Hollywood. They still had to tie up a few loose ends in New York before coming out here, but Rachel needed to get to LA as soon as possible so they could do some screen tests with possible Christian Greys, which was proving an impossible part to fill.

Rachel was thankfully buying her time because she knew as soon as news broke that she was playing the lead in the most talked about movie of the year, the press and paparazzi would have a field day. She was basking in her anonymity for as long as she had left. Which, unfortunately, brought her back to the problem at hand. How was she going to let Finn know? Should she write, call, or just avoid him all together. She was partial to the latter, however, he was sure to find out soon enough like Kurt said, and they were finally getting a small friendship back. She was not going to loose it over something as stupid as not telling him she was within a car ride from him.

She decided upon a letter since it was their preferred choice of communication for the past couple of years.

Dear Finn,

Thank you for the belated birthday, Hanukkah, and New Years wishes. I hope you had a Merry Christmas and happy New Year as well! I am actually writing because I have some kind of huge news…I have moved to LA. I recently got the staring role in a movie, and rather than just come out here to shoot the movie, I decided to take the plunge and make it permanent. I never thought I would want to come to Hollywood—I didn't think I was Hollywood material—but I guess some people thought differently. It was bittersweet leaving New York, but after 7 years, I think I'm ready for a change, which I also NEVER thought I would say! I still love the city, and it will always hold a piece of my heart, but it was getting a bit claustrophobic and depressing. Although I was getting job offer after job offer, I had become the go-to girl for any part that called for crying, depression, death, and despair, and I couldn't do that night after night anymore. I think it might have been rubbing off on me in a very negative way, and made me someone I really didn't want to become again. I know California is not always sunshine and rainbows, but a change of pace and scenery will certainly lighten me up, right? Anyways, I'm sort of rambling—which I tend to do in my letters to you—and I should get to the part where I say that I want to see you again. It would be absolutely preposterous to live in the same city and not even meet up! I thought perhaps when Kurt and Santana come into to town, we could all go out to dinner or something? They come in on May 20th, and I know you have Kurt's number so just tell him when you are free in that busy schedule of yours, Dr. Hudson ;) I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Love,

Rachel

She reread it a couple of times to make sure she didn't sound crazy or anything, but then decided that it didn't really matter because these letters were supposed to be from the heart—without fear of judgments. She wanted to see him so badly, but she was also scared shitless. They hadn't seen each other since he walked out of her house that June day and hadn't spoken since a couple of months after that. Neither of those times were particularly great moments in her life, but he was Finn and he would always be apart of her life.

Finn's beeper went off and he jolted awake. It took a couple of seconds before his eyes adjusted and he realized that he was in the on call room of the hospital and had fallen asleep while reading the letter from Rachel. He had received it two days ago, but he still hadn't had the time or energy to pick up a pen to reply to her. 48 hours of working in the ER will do that to a guy, plus, he was still shocked that Rachel was breathing the same air as him in California. Questions raced through his head; was she with someone still? She had mentioned a boyfriend 2 letters ago, but hadn't mentioned him in this one...so was she single? He scolded himself for thinking like that and reminded himself that they were just friends, and he needed to focus on being the best one he could.

He jogged through the hallway, and was immediately met with shouting and crying. This was the norm in the ER, and usually, the person crying wasn't even the one in pain—it was usually the one who brought them in that was in such hysterics.

Thankfully, this was his last ER shift, and next week he would begin his two year residency in learning to become an orthopedic sports medicine surgeon.

It wasn't that he didn't like being a doctor—quite the opposite; he loved it—but he didn't love the panic and disarray of the ER. He was occasionally brought back to the shooting and the chaos that followed that, and was extremely worried that it would hinder his abilities. He didn't want to freeze up on a patient because he suddenly thought of the horrors of that day. He didn't become a doctor to be reminded of that everyday. He became a doctor to help people and he would still be doing that. He was combining the two things he loved—medicine and sports—to help get athletes back on the field and playing at their best again. It was not life or death, but it was still important and change people's lives for the better.

"Great." Finn thought to himself, but then tried to look on the bright side. Only 12 more hours in here and I'm done forever. Once he reminded himself of this, he began helping the doctors and nurses tending to the patients.

Finn was just finishing stitching up a young man who had gotten a deep cut above his eyebrow when the ER doors opened again.

"Female, early to mid 20s, head trauma from a car crash." He heard the EMT shout to the doctors who greeted the gurney.

Instinctually, Finn spun around and went to help with the patient in order to get a look at her. He didn't even realize that he had been holding his breath until he saw her light blonde hair, confirming that it was not Rachel. He felt like he was crazy because what are the odds of Rachel coming into his hospital injured? However, simply knowing that she was here in the same city had planted doubts in his mind of her well-being, which was crazy.

"Hudson, you want on this case with me?" Dr. Fleming, my attending, asked.

Finn was about to replay with 'yes' just to get out of the pit and into the operating room, but then another gurney was pushed through the doors. "Uh, I think you and Michaels have it. I'll take this one."

He jogged to the EMTs to listen to the information about the next patient. "25 year old female, complaining of abdominal pains."

Finn looked down and the fear he thought was completely unwarranted was realized. "Rachel? Rachel!" His eyes were wide as he took in her appearance—long brown hair, tiny stature, and big brown eyes—and he knew for certain it was Rachel Berry laying on the gurney calmly trying to hide her pain.

She opened her eyes and was equally shocked to see Finn Hudson standing over her.

"Finn?" She couldn't say much because the pain in her stomach was getting worse and she had to close her eyes to concentrate on breathing slowly through the pain.

Finn took one last look at Rachel before taking charge and becoming the doctor he was. "Can you describe your pain, Rach? On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate it?"

She opened one of her eyes, and Finn could see the tears forming in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. "4" She said quietly and about as unconvincing as she could possibly be.

"Alright. So a 9?" He gave her a small smile because he knew she was stubborn when it came to pain and showing weakness. He had a pretty good idea of what this was, but he needed to make sure. "Have you vomited, had trouble going to bathroom, felt feverish?

"Um, yeah. I was throwing up earlier and have just felt horrible all morning at work. They finally made me come in. What do you think it is?" Rachel was starting to worry because Finn wasn't giving much away as he lifted her shirt and felt her abdomen.

He felt for inflammation and tenderness, and once he detected both, he started to wheel her towards the elevator. "We need to get her to surgery; she has appendicitis and we need to get her appendix out quickly before if ruptures."

Rachel's eyes got big, but Finn gently took her hand in his while they waited for the elevator to bring them to the surgical floor. It was a very simple procedure, as long as the appendix was still intact and had not ruptured, but it was still a surgery. The last time Rachel had been in a hospital, she had just been shot, and all of her friends had been killed.

"Rach, you'll be just fine. I'm going to be here the whole time. Just count down from 10 for me." Finn quietly whispered into her ear as the nurse placed the oxygen mask over her mouth and they put her to sleep.

She gave him one last look before counting down, just to make sure he was really here with her. It seemed unreal that he would be the one in the ER when she came in with a completely unexpected emergency. However, Finn was there—right above her—and he would take care of her. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4…"

Hope you enjoyed! Now that Finn and Rachel are in the same city, there will be a lot more Finchel interaction :)