He still couldn't believe he had spooned with Gabriel. He hadn't even intended to fall asleep with him. One minute, they'd decided to wait up for Dean by watching V for Vendetta, and the next thing he knew, he was waking up holding Gabriel like a security blanket. He wasn't even sure if they'd started the movie or not. Luckily, Dean had had an equally embarrassing morning that Sam was all too willing to bring up whenever Dean tried to pry into what happened with Gabe.
And nothing happened with Gabe anyway. They'd just talked about school and some small talk about favorite music and food and anything to stop from having awkward silences. Sam's phone vibrated on the arm of the couch. It was Gabriel.
The text read: "Want to hang later?" So, they may have exchanged phone numbers last night. That didn't mean anything. Friends do that.
He replied, "Sure," and erased the texts quickly. Even though nothing happened, he didn't want to risk Luci finding out and jumping to conclusions. He started to get his shoes on as Dean came out of his room.
"Where you going?" he asked.
Sam slipped his shoes on and said, "You know, I'm not a child. I can go somewhere without telling you where I'm going."
Dean raised his hands in surrender, "Okay. Sorry."
Sam grabbed his jacket when Dean said, "So, Gabriel's then?"
"Shut up," Sam replied, before walking out the door.
When Sam got to Gabriel's place, after asking him for directions at least twice, Gabe opened the door clad only in jeans that really had no business being that tight or that low slung. He had no shirt, and his hair was sopping wet. Had he been texting Sam while in the shower?
Gabe smiled, "Yeah, I clean up nice, don't I?" Sam realized he'd been staring and quickly inspected the sturdy doorframe of Gabriel's place. He lived in a two-flat and led Sam to the lower flat. Gabe disappeared into another room.
He called out, "I'm gonna get dressed. Make yourself at home." Sam looked around. Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea. There was a bowl filled with Almond Joy sitting on a table near the front entrance. It's not like he knew Gabriel all that well. He'd opened up the once, but now it didn't seem like enough to warrant hanging out. Sam headed over to Gabe's futon and noted the comforter strewn over it. Was this were Gabriel slept? He smoothed out the comforter and sat down.
This was very weird. He should've just stayed at home. Sam couldn't help but notice a leopard print bathrobe hanging on the back of what seemed like a bathroom door. He just couldn't picture Gabriel wearing it. Though, to be fair, he couldn't have imagined Gabe shirtless and surprisingly muscular until this afternoon either. Gabriel came back out of the room wearing a tight black t-shirt, and his hair looked like he'd just sort of rubbed a towel over his head to stop it from dripping.
"So," he said, "I realized I said we could talk about what's been going on with you and, well, we kinda talked about random stuff that wasn't about that."
Sam wanted to know more about Gabriel, like where his family was today since he lived with them, but he replied, "What do you want to know?" If they were going to get to know each other, he figured he should probably just get it all out there. He could be an open book for a few hours, right?
"What's your boyfriend like? Aside from being an abusive dickwad," Gabe said. How honest could he be about that? Luci was complicated. Open book, he reminded himself.
"Well," Sam said, "His name is Luci with an 'i', and it's complicated."
"Luci?" he asked.
Sam nodded.
"That's a girl's name. Even with an 'i' that's not a guy's name."
Sam nodded again.
"But he's your boyfriend. And a he," Gabe clarified.
"Yep," Sam answered, "Like I said, complicated."
Gabe pressed, "Complicated?"
"Luci is transgender," Sam said, pausing for Gabriel's reaction. There wasn't one.
He continued, "He's biologically female but identifies as male. When he was transitioning, he considered changing his name to something more masculine, but nothing ever took. Sometimes, if he's really trying to pass as a guy, he'll introduce himself as Lucian, but among friends, he's just Luci."
"And he roughs you up?" Gabriel asked.
Sam laughed, "Girls can be just as strong as guys. And Luci is much more guy than girl."
"So, he's an evil dick."
"I guess you could say that."
Gabe asked, "Since I've already seen the bruises, is there anything else I should know about?" Sam nodded. He propped his leg up and slid his pants up to reveal a very swollen and still red ankle. It had been weeks since the original injury, but he hadn't had the chance or the ankle brace to do anything but make it worse. Luci, of course, was no help.
Gabriel jumped up and said, "I'm getting you ice for that. Holy crap." Sam had been waiting to see what would elicit some alarm from him. Now that he knew where Gabriel's breaking point was, he knew he wasn't going to tell him about the other stuff. In comparison to some of the pain, his ankle was barely even noticeable.
When Gabriel came back with a ziplock bag full of ice, he pressed it to Sam's ankle and said, "Jesus, Sam. Why are you still with this guy?"
"I don't know," Sam said, "At first, it was because we'd dated for so long. It's been five years. Just didn't seem right throwing all that time away." He stared at his hands.
Sam continued, "But when I realized he wasn't going to stop, it didn't seem worth it anymore. I've been planning to leave him for the last few months."
"What's stopping you?" Gabe asked.
"I can't leave," Sam confessed, his vision blurring slightly, "He told me he'd kill himself if I ever did." Gabe opened his mouth to say something, but Sam cut him off.
"I know he could just be saying that to get me to stay or to try to show he cares in some stupid, twisted way, but if he's serious, that's just not something I could live with," he said quickly. He felt tears in his eyes that he hoped Gabriel couldn't see.
"Sam," Gabe said, "I'm not going to tell you what to do, like I've said before, but are you sure staying is the better option? He might not kill himself, but what if he kills you, accident or otherwise?" Sam sighed.
If Gabriel had asked him that in the alley, he would've told him straight out how much he didn't care if he died. After all this, he was damaged beyond repair. Waking up took effort. Dying would just be a relief at this point. But Gabe wasn't a random stranger who couldn't give two craps about Sam's stupid life. He was quickly becoming a friend. And while he had already opened the flood gates about Luci, there was no reason why Sam should tell Gabe about the emotional damage.
He answered, "He wouldn't kill me. He's too attached to do something like that." Gabriel gave Sam a concerned look but dropped it. Sam tried to blink naturally to clear his eyes of tears without attracting Gabe's attention to it.
It didn't work. A rebel tear slid down his cheek while the others were kept at bay. Dammit. Gabriel wiped the tear away softly, and his touch set Sam's skin on fire. Not a good sign given Sam's current relationship situation. He didn't have the time to deal with developing a crush on this guy. He was probably straight anyway.
"Sam," Gabe asked, "Are you okay?"
He answered, "I'm so stupid." As if that answered the question.
"What?" Gabe asked, clearly confused.
"I should've never dated Luci. Or at least, I should've left after the first time he hit me. This is all my fault. I thought things would get better. Dammit, why am I so stupid?" Sam blurted.
Gabriel took Sam's hand in his.
"Whoa, hey, Sam. You are not stupid. You're in a bad situation, but this is not your fault. Luci's a prick. If you want to blame someone for all this stuff, blame him," Gabe said.
Sam looked him in the eye. He could see how much this guy cared about him. Sam couldn't remember anyone looking at him like that before. He should probably leave before he hurt Gabe like everything else.
"Thanks," he muttered.
Gabe smiled, "No problem. Now, there's just one more thing."
"What's that?" Sam asked.
"Since your boyfriend is such a gigantic douchebag, can I call him Lucifer?" Gabe asked as innocently as possible.
Sam had a difficult time remembering the last time he'd laughed so hard.