Chapter 9 Ghostly

I decided to go check on Vincent. I wasn't prepared for the Vincent I saw staring back at me. He was pale. White as a ghost actually, his eyes bloodshot. He was shaking, so bad that what he was holding fell to the floor. He sat there, on the edge of the bed, speechless. I proceeded to walk over and pick up the fallen pregnancy test. I didn't look at it right away. Instead I was focused on trying to snap Vincent out of whatever trance he was in. "Hey Vincent. I'm not going to rub it in too bad that I'm right. Snap out of it." Still he sat there, motionless, staring at me. "Vincent, say something." He just pointed to the test in my hand. "Look." He said, still shaking.

I gathered up the courage to look at the test. There in bright blue words staring right back at me, PREGNANT. I dropped the test on the floor, the sudden urge to be sick hitting me. I ran to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before emptying my stomach. Was I ready for this again? I tried to tell myself I would be, but there were those bright blue words bouncing around in my head. PREGNANT. My babies were barely three months old. Vincent and I had barely begun to discuss wedding plans and here I was, puking my ever loving guts up. Again. I'm not sure if it was the hormones or nerves, but I know I spent fifteen minutes heaving violently before the urges dissipated. Vincent entered quietly as I fell back against the cold tile breathing rapidly. "Hey. You ok?" He sat down beside me and smoothed my hair. I looked up to him. "I don't know Vincent. I'm not sure I'm as ready for this as I thought I was." A tear rolled down his scarred cheek. "Catherine, I love you. If you decide you don't want this, you can discuss your options with Evan."
My head spun around. "Options?! Vincent there is no option other than carrying this baby. Although I don't want anyone else to know yet. I don't want anyone looking at me like I'm growing horns or anything."
Vincent let out a little chuckle. "Catherine, all I'm saying is that this is your decision and I will stand by you one hundred percent, no matter what you decide. I agree that we should wait to let anyone else know. Although hiding it from JT for long won't be easy."

Its been several weeks since Vincent and I found out about my pregnancy. Right at four and a half months, I have resorted to wearing Vincent's T-shirts so that JT won't notice my growing little bump. Other than the first instance, I have not been sick since. Considering how sick I was with the twins, I'm quite grateful. I walk down the steps after laying the twins down for a nap to hear Vincent and JT arguing in the next room. I don't seem to have the super senses I had with the twins, so I tiptoe closer. "Damn it V, tell me the truth. Cat isn't just meandering around in your clothes because it's easier to nurse the twins. She's been hiding out in your room for weeks. You take her meals to her, bring her dishes back down, everything man."
I sneak around the corner. "Vincent, he might as well know." I lifted his T-shirt to reveal my bump. JT gasped in horror. "So you did knock her up that day, didn't you V? Good going man. After everything she went through giving birth to those boys, you just couldn't resist could you!?"
Vincent's eyes flashed gold and veins appeared, along with a growl. He was pissed. I had to speak up. "JT it's not his fault. Well, not entirely. I initiated everything that day. ME! Me alone. Don't you dare blame him for this. I knew damn well what could happen when I did it and I did it anyway." By the time I had finished, I was yelling and holding onto the door facing. I felt like I was going to pass out. Vincent rushed to my side, completely normal once again. He looked to my feet and back to my face. JT ran to me screaming. "Cat! Oh god, No!" I looked to my feet to see a pool of blood forming beneath me. I was bleeding, hemorrhaging to be exact. I fell to my knees, grabbing at the pains shooting through my belly. Vincent's face was the last thing I remember before losing conscienceness.

I awoke in the birthing room, still set up from the twins. "No, No, No," I screamed. I grabbed at my belly, only to find my little bump gone. I started weeping. "Vincent, No." He cradled me in his arms, trying to desperately soothe me, but there was no consolation. I felt like I was dying inside. My legs hurting, my arm sore, I tried to rub the pain away. Vincent grabbed my hands. "Several Vitamin K shots in your legs to stop the hemorrhaging, and Depo in your arm, to make sure I don't almost lose you again. We lost her, and I almost lost you." Her? My tiny little angel was a girl? This was all my fault. I shouldn't have gotten so upset. Vincent rubbed my back. "Catherine, this was not, and I repeat, not your fault, ok? The placenta detached. You lost a lot of blood. You need to rest." I saw him placing a small needle in my arm. "Vincent, no."
"Catherine, it's only a sedative. To calm you down and help you sleep." In moments, I drifted out of conscienceness once again.

I awoke some time later in our bedroom. It took me a few moments to process where I was. How long had I been out? Where were Vincent and my boys? I began to panic. I cried out to Vincent, who rushed in, both boys in arms. "There's mommy little ones. I told you she was just sleeping.."
I reached my arms out for my boys. Vincent placed them in my arms, and immediately offered them both my breasts. They drank from me as if they were starving. "Vincent, how long have I been out? They're famished."
"Thirteen hours Catherine. I tried to feed them the milk you stored in the freezer for emergencies, but they refused it. They wanted you. I brought them in a couple of times while you were out and held them to you, to let them nurse. But without your touch and your soft lullabies, they weren't too interested." I burst into tears. "My poor boys. Mommy's here. Fill your little bellies."
After a good half an hour, little JT released first, drifting into sleep. Vincent gently eased him from my hold and patted his little back. Fifteen minutes later baby Vincent released, but his hold on my finger, not so. It was as if he was afraid I would leave him again. I snuggled down beside him, and patted his little back. "Baby boy, mommy isn't going anywhere. Shhhh… sleep." I held him as he held my finger the entire time he slept, Vincent holding little JT beside of us.

My boys. They were all that was holding me together right now. All that kept going through my head was that pool of blood beneath me and waking up to find I had lost our little girl. Soft sobs escaped my lips. Vincent wrapped his free arm around me, trying to soothe me, but the sobs just intensified. In less than six months time, I had experienced a horrific delivery, almost lost my son, gotten pregnant again, and miscarried. Vincent had promised, later, when the boys were older, when I was Mrs. Vincent Keller, and I was ready, we would try again for another little girl. Nothing would replace my tiny angel. Nothing. I had to keep myself sane for Vincent and my boys. Nothing else mattered right now. Not even my aching broken heart for my little girl.