Buffy moved her spoon around in her bowl of oatmeal, watching the mushy food slosh and slop around. She picked up the spoon and brought a mouthful to her mouth, but at the last second changed her mind and tipped its contents back into the bowl.
Faith folded the morning sports section in half and raised an eyebrow at her girlfriend. "You've played with your food more than you've actually eaten it."
Buffy heaved out a sigh and angrily shoved her bowl to the side. Some of the mush spilled over the top of the bowl and onto the kitchen island. "What's the point?" she said dejectedly. She dropped her head onto the countertop and breathed out miserably.
"A strong slayer needs her energy," Faith said lightly.
She chewed at her thumbnail and appraised the sullen woman. All she wanted was to cheer her up. She doubted if all the psychotherapy in the world would ever bring her girlfriend's smile back.
"Do you wanna, I don't know, get the gang together and do some research?"
Buffy lifted her head. Faith's heart ached when she recognized the hopeful glimmer in those hazel-green eyes.
"Are you serious?"
Faith averted her eyes. "Yeah, I mean, stranger things have happened to us, right?" She looked up, locking her gaze on Buffy's face. "Let's put out the call to the Scooby gang and figure this thing out."
Buffy blinked heard, her sight filling with tears. "So you believe me?" she rasped out, voice thick with emotion. "You don't think I'm crazy?"
"Baby," Faith consoled, her voice catching in her throat. "I never thought you were crazy." A strange smile tickled the corners of her generous mouth. "The only crazy thing you've ever done is date me."
At the words, Buffy leapt from her seat and crashed into her girlfriend's arms. She wrapped herself tight around the other slayer. "You don't know what this means to me," she said, pressing her face against the other woman's neck.
Faith closed her eyes and breathed out shallowly, just enjoying the closeness, but also aching at the telltale wetness she felt against her skin, knowing the source of Buffy's pain. "You go take a shower, and I'll call up the gang, okay?"
Instead of getting up, Buffy settled herself more comfortably onto Faith's lap. She wrapped her arms around the brunette's shoulders and pulled her tight, their foreheads touching. "Are you saying I stink?"
Faith nuzzled her nose into the hollow of Buffy's throat, pulling a quiet, approving hum from the blonde. "The sooner you get ready for the day, the sooner we can crack open those books."
Buffy pulled back slightly. "Who'd have ever thought I'd get excited for books?" she quipped, smiling for the first time in days.
"Certainly not your teachers," Faith cracked back.
Buffy hopped off her partner's lap and gave Faith a quick peck on the lips. "Want to shower together and conserve water?" she offered.
Faith wet her lips and gave her girlfriend a languid once-over. "Stop distracting me, woman. I've got a Super Team of friends to assemble."
"I'm just trying to eliminate my carbon footprint," Buffy said, batting her eyelashes. With another playful grin, she practically skipped out of the kitchen in the direction of the bathroom.
Faith remained perched on her stool by the kitchen island, a little befuddled by Buffy's abrupt mood-swing. She stayed there until she heard the water turn on in the other room. Then, she retrieved her cell phone and found one of the only numbers she'd programmed into the thing. She pressed the call button and waited until someone picked up the other line.
"Hey, Will? We've got a problem…"
"I brought donuts!"
Faith looked up from her giant, dusty tome to see Xander swoop into the Magic Store II holding a flimsy, white bakery box.
"Sugar!" Kennedy cheered from her location at one of the large wooden circular tables in the center of the retail space. "Just what the doctor ordered." She hopped up from her chair and crowded Xander, immediately tearing into the box he held in his hands and producing a particularly sugar-infused breakfast pastry. She shoved the donut into her mouth. "I love slayer metabolism," she crowed with her mouth full.
After Buffy had exited her shower, which had disappointingly been solo, Faith had informed her that she'd contacted Willow, Kennedy, and Xander to meet that day at the Magic Shop II for some good old-fashioned research. They'd been at it already for a few hours without any leads. Buffy, however, was not going to let herself get easily discouraged. This was her baby. She would do what it took. Even if that meant actually reading and not pretending like she usually did when they formed these research parties.
Buffy nudged Willow with her elbow like a high-school student looking for the answers to a pop-quiz. "Find anything yet?" she asked her closest friend.
Willow looked up from her book and rubbed at her eyes. "Nothing yet, no. I mean, we're looking for a pretty specific spell or demon, Buff. It's gonna take time." She cast her eye across the age-yellowed page. "I've found a few references to baby-eaters and child kidnappings for demonic rituals, but nothing about stealing babies that haven't been born yet."
"Oh." A small frown crept onto Buffy's face, but it was soon replaced by a look of determinism. "Well, we'll just have to keep looking."
Faith did her best to catch the Wicca's attention. The two shared a knowing look across the table and a discouraging frown.
"Is anybody else starving?" Faith announced. "I don't think donuts are gonna quite do it for me."
"Xander, would you mind picking up some more brain food at the corner deli?" Willow asked. "Just some sandwiches and snacks?"
The man set the donut box on an empty table and gave the redhead a mock salute. "It would be my pleasure." He crisply turned on his heel like a well-trained soldier and pushed back out into the Cleveland sun.
Buffy sighed and looked out at the mountain of ancient books spread out on the research tables. "Will, is this all the books we have? I thought I remember there being more."
"This is most of it," Willow said, frowning. "I know it's pretty meager," she said apologetically. "We really couldn't rescue much from the crater formerly known as Sunnydale, and the Watchers' Council's resources were mostly blown up by the First's Harbingers."
"I think I saw a few other books in the basement," Kennedy chimed in. "They're with all the other stuff we haven't unpacked yet from the big move."
Buffy hopped to her feet. "I'll go get them."
Kennedy stood as well. "I'll help," she offered, stretching out her stiff limbs. "My eyes are starting to cross from all this reading."
Faith watched in amusement as the mismatched slayers noisily jostled each other as they tromped down the stairs to the basement. Good-natured taunts about who could carry up the biggest box of books carried up from the sublevel floor. Faith smiled to herself. After a few tumultuous days, everything felt like it was back to normal – except for this giant cloud hovering above her head.
She released a heaving sigh and closed another giant book with an impressive clap. "I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to keep this up, Red," she announced.
Willow didn't look up from her reading. "You should taking reading breaks," she murmured. "This old typeface can be brutal on the eyesight if you're not used to it."
"That's not what I mean," Faith said, features hardening. "I don't think I can keep lying to Buffy."
Willow looked up and pushed the hair out of her eyes. "You love her, right?"
"Of course," Faith immediately snapped. The very notion that Willow might think she didn't love Buffy with all her heart instinctively made her bristle. She wondered if she and the Wicca would ever truly become friends and not just awkward acquaintances trying not to kill each other for the sake of the Chosen One.
Willow stared down the dark-haired slayer. "Then you do this as long as it takes."
Faith scratched at her neck. "It doesn't feel right though. Will pretending we believe her about this fetus-kidnapping business really help her get better?" she reasonably questioned. "Or will it just enable this delusion of hers and make her worse?"
Willow sighed and pushed the book she had been pretending to pore over to the side. "I know. And I've thought about that, too," she said. "But you know how Buffy is –if you're not supporting her, you're against her."
Faith nodded and looked grim. "Don't I know it." Her face clouded over. "And I feel so goddamn selfish because I know this is destroying her, but I just want my girlfriend back. I want her back the way things used to be."
Willow nodded sagely. "It's going to take some time. We just have to be patient. And even if she doesn't give up on this, some Hellmouth-y problem is sure to pop up and we'll be forced to move on."
Faith frowned. "It's bad that I'm hoping for an apocalypse, right?"
A smile tugged at Willow's lips. "It's only human."
Faith tipped back in her wooden chair, and she nearly toppled over when she noticed the long shadow cast on the floor. Her dark eyes widened when she saw the owner of the shadow. "How-how long have you been standing there?"
Buffy stood in the doorway that led to the basement stairs. She clenched and unclenched her fists at her sides, the knuckles going white from the tension. "Long enough," she said bitterly. "I just came back up to see if you had a flashlight. It's too dark down there to read the labels on the shipping boxes."
Faith returned all four legs of her chair to the ground and her mouth opened and closed a few times like a gaping fish. "B…I –."
Buffy held up her hand. "Stop. Just stop," she ordered. "I've had enough lies from you to last a lifetime."
Even though she and Faith still weren't the best of friends, Willow couldn't stand back and let the Boston slayer take the brunt of the blame. "Buffy, we didn't do this to hurt you," she attempted to assuage her friend. "We want to help you, we do; but all the research in the world isn't going to bring your baby back."
Buffy's features sharpened at the sound of her best friend's voice. "I can't believe you betrayed me, too."
The ice in Buffy's tone caused the Wicca to duck her head in retreat.
Buffy wiped at her damp eyes and inhaled sharply. "I thought you believed me," she said in a voice not much more than a whisper. "You said you were going to help."
Faith hung her head as well. "Buffy," she whispered back.
"No," Buffy cut her off. "No more excuses." She swallowed hard, shoving down her emotions. "You were right about one thing," she said, straightening her shoulders. The two contrite women looked up. "If you're not with me, you're against me."
Faith turned the key in its lock and released a shaky sigh of relief when it worked – apparently Buffy hadn't changed the locks. She knew her girlfriend was a fan of melodramatic gestures, and locking her out of the house seemed a very Buffy-like thing to do. Her clothes weren't strewn across the front yard either, so maybe she wasn't completely in the doghouse.
The front of the house was dark and silent as she let herself in.
"B?" she called out into the darkness. "Baby?"
She turned on the light in the front foyer. Buffy's fall jacket was missing from its wall peg and her slaying boots were suspiciously absent from the careful line of shoes that habitually resided in the front hallway.
A yellow post-it note was attached to the full-length mirror just inside the house. Faith snatched it off the mirrored pane and quickly read Buffy's recognizable handwriting.
"Shit."
"So maybe this wasn't the best idea I've ever had."
Buffy clutched her wooden stake tighter and eyeballed the three vampires currently circling her like sharks in bloodied water. They smacked their lips and snarled animalistically as if sensing the slayer's unease.
The smallest, but apparently quickest and dumbest, of the trio launched himself at the blonde. She blocked the first flying foot that came alarmingly close to her head, but didn't move fast enough to avoid the closed fist to her gut. The air was forced out of her lungs and she grunted, stumbling back. The small vampire continued his exuberant assault, but the wooden stake that slid through his dead flesh and into his unbeating heart ended him just like the countless others before him.
Her body, normally so in sync, alarmingly felt like a stranger to her – as if she hadn't used these muscles in months. She was sweaty and out of breath. It felt infinitely foreign. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so tired – minus her 18th birthday. She mentally shook herself. That's not what was happening here. There was another reason behind her current fatigue.
Two vampires remained and Buffy sized them up. "Who's next?" she breathed out shakily.
One of the remaining vampires glanced quickly between the Chosen One and the anthill of dust that used to be his friend. "Fuck this," he swore before sprinting off across the cemetery and out of sight.
Buffy breathed a little easier. That just left one more to go before she could call it a night and crawl into bed. But, unfortunately, the vampire who remained was the biggest one she'd ever seen. She'd never even seen a human so tall, let alone a vampire. She craned her neck looking up; he had to be at least 7 feet tall. Maybe he used to play for the Cleveland Cavaliers, she mused to herself.
Momentarily forgetting her life-and-death situation, she felt a surge of pride that she knew the name of her town's home basketball team. She had Faith to thank for that. Even though she'd been a cheerleader in a past life, that didn't mean she knew anything about sports. But even though she'd traded in her cheerleading skirt for slaying so many years ago, she still had a killer high kick.
Which is what she did next. But even with jumping and extending her leg high in the air, she only connected with the undead giant's broad chest. The impact forced the lumbering vampire a foot backwards, but not enough for Buffy to have gained the upper-hand.
The giant vampire cocked back a clenched, meaty fist before connecting with Buffy's face. Her head violently snapped back at impact. It felt like her lower jaw completely unhinged before painfully snapping back into place. She shook her head back and forth and clawed at the tweeting birds that seemed to be fluttering around her head.
Hello, concussion, she mentally greeted.
Not allowing the slayer to regain her bearings, the undead creature swung another wild fist in her direction. It too found its mark. Buffy winced, feeling a few ribs give way to the violent blow. Another strike met its intended target – Buffy's head again. Instead of birds, this time she saw bright, white stars. Her knees gave out and her body crumpled to the ground.
So much for going out with a bang, she fleetingly thought.
She opened her mouth to scream out one final protest. Her body tensed as she prepared for the pointed teeth about to sink into her vulnerable flesh, when a shower of ash hit her in the face. The spray of dust was nearly as unexpected as the warm body that unceremoniously dumped on top of her.
Buffy shoved the figure off her and started to cough and spit. "Thanks," she said sourly. She sat up and continued to choke up vampire ash.
"Hey, you were the one with your mouth open," Faith pointed out. "I was just trying to save your ass."
"Well, I'm sorry," Buffy crossly spat. She stood up abruptly, her body tight with anger and embarrassment. "I was too busy fighting for my life to worry about a detail like that."
Faith's features softened. "What happened?" She stood up, slower than her slaying counterpart had and brushed at the bits of fall leaves clinging to her clothes. "I've never seen a regular old vampire get the upper-hand on you like that."
"That was hardly a regular old vampire," Buffy scoffed. "Did you see how big he was?"
"Yeah, but you're tiny," Faith noted with a small, playful smile. She was relieved she'd shown up just in time, but didn't want to let on how concerned she was. "Everyone's bigger than you."
"I'm just a little rusty," Buffy complained defensively. She patted at the arms of her denim jacket and clouds of dusty ash formed.
"Rusty?" Faith echoed. "We've been patrolling practically every night this month."
Buffy shot her girlfriend a look. "Tell that to my body," she snarled. "It seems to think I was on an 8-month vacation. Try telling me that's just a coincidence," she challenged.
"Buffy…"
"Please don't start. It's been a long day," Buffy said tiredly. "Just so you know," she continued stiffly, "I'm going to stay with Xander for a few days. I just…I need some space right now."
"Xander?" Faith blinked as if the name didn't register in her head. "You…you don't want me around? Are we breaking up?"
"I'm not breaking up with you," Buffy said quietly. "I just need some time."
Faith closed her eyes and shook her head, keeping the stinging, salty tears at bay. "Don't be ridiculous. It's your house, and I'm the one who fucked up," she gruffly stated. "You shouldn't have to leave. I'll stay with Xander."
Buffy frowned deeply. "I don't think his girlfriend would be too happy about that."
"She'll be fine," Faith waved it off. "If she's jealous, that's her deal. Cause not to be crude, but it's not like I've driven stick for a couple of years now."
Buffy sighed. She didn't want to keep fighting. "Fine."
Faith chewed on her lower lip. "I want to believe you, B. I really do," she said emphatically. "But sometimes the truth is the simplest answer." She paused, licking her lips. "I mean, an evil demon stealing your baby out of your womb certainly isn't the weirdest thing you've ever dealt with…but isn't it more likely that…" She made a pained face. She couldn't bring herself to say the words.
"When the monks made Dawn, they changed everyone's memories," Buffy stubbornly pointed out. "Even yours, and you weren't even in Sunnydale."
Faith frowned at the validity of Buffy's statement. "I know, babe. But why? Why would anyone want to do this to you?"
"Why wouldn't they?" Buffy countered shrilly. "Look how someone stole Connor from Angel."
"Yeah, but Angel's kid was all mystical and shit. Vampire baby, remember? But you and Preston…"
Buffy's features pinched. "My baby might not have been born with a destiny to fulfill, and magic powers and a prophecy, but it's still my baby."
Faith pressed her lips together. Northing she could say, short of lying again to Buffy, was going to make this situation any better.
"I'm not going to give up on this," Buffy said with emotion. "I'm not going to just let this go. I carried my baby for nearly 9 months. Those are my memories," she said heatedly. "Regardless of what's implanted in your brain, that is my truth."
Faith nodded sadly. "I know." She shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her jacket. She kicked awkwardly at a stray pinecone and missed. "So where does that leave us?"
The fire in Buffy's hazel-green eyes seemed to extinguish and her features deflated. "I don't know," she admitted sadly. "I love you, but I don't know."
Faith's face tightened into a grimace. "I'll go home and pack a bag. I don't want to make this any harder on you than it already is." She paused. "I'm not…I'm not abandoning you or running away," she reassured the other woman. "You'll know where I am when you figure out what you need from me."
Faith stood for a moment longer, just staring at Buffy. When it was obvious the conversation was over, she flipped up the collar of her leather jacket to stave off a sudden brisk wind. She shoved her hands back into her coat pockets and walked off into the shadows.
Buffy watched Faith walk away without a word of complaint or protest. When the Boston slayer was completely out of sight, she kicked at a tombstone in frustration. She was furious with Faith and hurt that her partner still didn't believe her. After all they'd been through together, why was this so hard for her to believe to be true?
Faith was right though; it would be too hard to be around her right now because of this recent betrayal. The wound was too fresh. But even though she needed space, she still wanted Faith there. Even though she was furious and wounded, and Faith was part of the reason for it, she also knew that Faith's presence would be the solution to her pain.
And although Faith had done and said all the right things in allowing her the space and time she needed, it certainly did feel like being abandoned.
TBC