Sam walked slowly and carefully down the dark Chicago street. Every step was a new definition of pain and shame. But he couldn't stay at Luci's. He'd barely kept from crying before he had the chance to leave. God, he hated himself. He hated this. Walking home was the worst when he felt like every second would rip him apart. He knew there were new bruises from Luci's hands on his back. It would be better if he could go down an alley and disappear entirely. Why did this happen? He remembered a time too long ago when Luci wanted to make Sam happy. He'd tried to make sex feel good. Now, it was all a power play and that power play made Sam fight wincing with each stride. His backside was on fire, his legs were wobbly with muscles protesting such abuse, and he was exhausted to the point of collapsing in the street. But he needed to get home. He needed to try to sleep and forget everything. So, he slowly kepy walking just like he always did every time this happened.

"Sam?" came a voice. The sound of his name ran down his spine like honey, and fear clenched his chest. Gabriel could not see him like this. He could barely walk, he'd been crying the whole way, and his shame was enough to kill him. Gabe caught up to Sam easily.

"Hey, Sam. Wow, we have got to stop meeting like this," he said, clapping a hand on Sam's back. He hadn't seen Sam's face yet. He had no idea anything was wrong until Sam flinched from his touch. Sam tried not to, but he flinched anyway. All the humor left Gabe's face.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Sam nodded, not trusting his voice enough to use it. Gabe stopped Sam from walking with a hand on his chest. Sam tried to turn away from him. Gabriel gripped Sam's forearms to stop him.

"What's going on, Sam?" he asked. Sam looked at his shoes. He couldn't tell him. He didn't want Gabe to see his tear stained face.

"I hurt," he answered, not wanting to lie to Gabriel. His voice was thick with tears like he feared. It made Gabe tilt his face up.

"Sam, what's going on?" Gabe repeated. He couldn't tell him. He couldn't admit to how damaged he was. Gabe already had enough reason to be done with Sam. Gabe's eyes were filled with fear and concern, and it was killing Sam.

"I can't," Sam managed to get out.

"What?" Gabe asked, "What can't you do?"

Sam sighed through his tears and turned away from Gabriel. Gabe walked after him.

"Hey, Sam, c'mon. No holding out on me, remember?" he said. Sam shook his head. Why was Gabe even here? Why did he keep wasting his time on Sam? Gabe took Sam's hand.

"Come on," Gabe said, beckoning him into the nearest alley. Gabriel's hand felt too good to ignore. His gentle touch was such a contrast from Luci, Sam could barely handle it. Sam hugged Gabe tightly once they were in the alley.

"Gabe," he said, trying not to cry into his friend's hair, "Thank you." Gabriel hugged him back and rubbed Sam's back slowly and softly.

"Are you okay, Sam?" he asked. Sam tried desperately to stop crying, but answering Gabe made all the pain so much worse. No, he was really very much not okay. And it was all his fault. Dammit, he was so stupid. He sobbed into Gabe's shoulder.

Gabe kept rubbing Sam's back and said, "I'll take that as a no." He took a step back from Sam but kept a hand on his shoulder.

"You should sit and relax for a sec," Gabe said.

Sam shook his head, "I can't." Gabe cocked his head to the side at him. Sam had finally cried himself out and gingerly kneeled. It was the closest he could get to sitting without causing extra pain. Gabe crouched to be at level with Sam.

"Sam?" he asked, scared, "What happened?"

"What always happens," Sam answered.

"Where were you before I ran into you?"

"Luci's."

"What did he do?" Sam willed himself not to start crying again. Gabriel sat on the ground and patted the concrete next to him.

He hesitated. If he protested more, Gabe would figure it out, he was sure. But if he sat, it would hurt worse than what he could probably hold in. Sitting next to Gabe sounded like the better option, though. If anything was going to make him feel better, it was being closer to Gabriel.

He sat down next to his friend and couldn't help crying out. Pain shot up his tailbone and back.

"Sam?!" Gabe asked in alarm. Sam nodded and gripped Gabe's leg.

"I'm fine," Sam said, even though he was so clearly not fine. Gabriel gave him an unamused look, but it was soon replaced with one of sad understanding.

"Oh, Sam. I'm sorry," he said.

Sam shook his head, "It's fine."

"Did he—? How did—? Was it—? Are you okay?" Gabe asked. He reached for Sam's hand, and Sam met him halfway.

"Yeah," Sam said, "I'll be okay." Gabriel put his arm around Sam and pulled him closer. Sam rested his head on Gabe's shoulder.

"You know," Gabe said quietly, "If I don't punch Lucifer in the face at some point, I'm going to be very disappointed." Sam chuckled softly.

After a few minutes, Gabriel said, "It is fucking cold. We can go to my place if you want. Can you get up?"

Sam looked up at Gabe and nodded.

"Are you sure?" he asked. He didn't want to intrude on Gabe's place every time he had a bad day. Gabe slowly, carefully, helped Sam to his feet. Sam didn't want to let go of Gabriel's hand.

Gabe smiled, "Of course. I love having you at my place. Just make sure you text Dean since you should really stay the night." Sam nodded, thankful for the reminder, and pulled out his phone.

Almost to Gabriel's house, he turned to Sam and said, "I get why you didn't tell me. You can tell me anything, you know."

Sam smiled, "Yeah, I'm seeing that."

As they got to the door, Gabriel asked, "Was it consensual?" Sam stared at Gabe. There was no judgment, no pity, just concern.

"Barely," he admitted.

Gabe nodded, opened the door for Sam, and said, "Yep. Gotta punch that big bag of dicks right in the mouth." Once inside, Sam felt a little weird going from one guy's place to another. But being at Gabe's felt right. Being at Luci's didn't. He ignored the awkward feeling.

Sam lay down on the futon with his head in Gabe's lap. He started to fall asleep when Gabriel started running his fingers through Sam's hair. Sam almost moaned.

"I'm sorry," Gabe said, removing his hands quickly, "You should sleep."

"No, it's okay. It's kind of comforting," Sam said. Gabe quickly resumed raking his hands through Sam's long hair.

"You should know," Gabe muttered sleepily, "I'm sorry you're going through all this. I hate that you hurt all the time. You're my best friend, I care about you, and if you wanted to leave Luci, I'd help you however I can."

Sam nodded on Gabe's lap and said, "Thanks." But Gabe knew as well as he did that ditching Luci wasn't in the cards. And a new reason was starting to take root.

Sam worried about what Luci would do if he knew where he was right then. If Luci hurt Gabriel, Sam didn't know what he'd do. And Luci would hurt Gabriel if Sam left, because Sam would leave Luci if Gabe wanted to be with him. He knew it. He fell asleep with Gabriel hypnotically stroking his hair and wishing for a life that would let him be in love with his best friend.