Jo picked up Sam after Dean left with Cas in the ambulance.

"What happened?" Jo asked as they sped to the hospital.

Sam sighed, "I have no idea." He couldn't even believe this was happening. He adjusted the strap on his sling and stared out the window. It had only been a week since their last trip to the emergency room. What the hell happened to Cas?

"So, umm, Sam, what happened with that?" Jo asked, gesturing to Sam's arm.

"Luci broke it," he said.

Jo gasped, "What? Charlie said something about a door slamming on it, not—"

Sam sighed, "Yeah, I have a lot of people to come clean with. Luci broke my arm, because I broke up with him."

"Holy shit, Sam," Jo muttered.

They swung into the hospital parking lot, and Jo parked in the first spot she found haphazardly. When they got out, Sam saw one of Jo's tires up on the curb next to the parking spot.

He shot his eyebrows up at her and she sighed, "Not a word. Let's go."

They ran up to the reception desk.

Jo said, "We're looking for Castiel Novak. He was brought in here by ambulance not too long ago."

The woman behind the desk nodded and said, "He's been admitted to the ICU. Just go down this hallway. You'll find the waiting room at the end." Sam and Jo found Dean sitting in the waiting room with his head in his hands.

"Dean," Sam said.

Dean looked up and Sam almost had to look away. His brother's eyes were red, his jaw was clenched, and Sam could tell Dean was only seconds away from crying again. Sam pulled Dean into a hug.

"I didn't get to apologize," Dean said muffled by Sam's shoulder.

Dean clung onto him for a moment until a doctor walked into the waiting room.

"There wasn't much bloodloss, so that's good. Do you know the last time he's had anything to eat?" the doctor asked.

Dean shook his head.

Sam explained, "We haven't seen him in a week."

The doctor nodded and said, "Well, he's in and out, since I'm guessing he hasn't had a good meal in a few days, but he just needed a few stitches. You can go see him if you want. I'll have a nurse in to bring him some food." Dean rushed down the hall to Cas' room. Sam and Jo followed quickly. Cas was asleep when they walked in. Dean sat on the edge of his bed, holding Cas' hand.

"Do you know what happened yet?" Jo asked.

Dean said quietly, "He was mugged outside our building."

"What? Did they take anything?" Sam asked.

Dean shrugged, "I don't know. He told me it was a mugging while we were in the ambulance. I doubt they got anything, though. He doesn't have much to take."

Jo sighed, "I'm just glad he's gonna be okay."

Dean nodded absently and stroked a thumb down the back of Cas' hand. It was odd to feel like everything was going to be okay while standing in the middle of a hospital. A nurse came in with a tray of food and checked Cas' IV bag quickly before leaving.

Dean gently woke up Cas and said, "Hey, you need to eat." Cas nodded sleepily. Dean brought the tray of food over to Cas and gave him a chunk of corn bread to nibble on.

It got way too intimate way too quickly, so Sam saw his way out of the room.

A minute later, Dean stepped out into the hall and said, "Hey, since it's just stitches, Cas can probably go home today, so I'll see you there. You should go talk to Gabriel."

Sam nodded. He'd almost forgotten that he was on his way to Gabe's when this all happened.

"Yeah, I'll see you later," Sam said.

Jo said quickly, "I'll drive you. It's freezing out. Dean, call me when you guys are ready to leave. I don't want Cas walking home in his condition."

Dean nodded and said a quick "Thanks" before walking back to Cas' side. Sam and Jo left for the parking lot feeling much better knowing Cas would be okay.

When Sam got over to Gabe's he wasn't sure what he was going to say. He rang Gabriel's doorbell as Jo pulled away. The first of lake-effect snow flurries started falling as Sam waited. Unfortunately the snow was falling in fat flakes, so when Gabe finally answered the door, he laughed and brushed a substantial amount of snow from Sam's hair.

Gabe smiled and pulled him inside. Sam knew he would be happy waking up to that smile every day.

"I'm sorry I didn't call," Sam said when they went down to Gabe's door.

Gabe said, "Well, this makes up for not calling. I didn't think I'd be seeing you for a really long time if ever."

Sam nodded awkwardly and sat on Gabriel's futon stiffly. "And here I am," he said for a lack of anything else to say.

"So," Gabriel said, sitting on next to Sam, "Do I get to sign it?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "Really?"

Gabe nodded profusely and jumped up to grab a sharpie out of a drawer in the kitchen.

Sam undid his sling and held out the cast. He hated the thing. Everytime he saw it, he was overcome with the urge to crack his wrist or twist his arm in motions that the cast strictly prevented. It was the most annoying thing to be conscious of. Gabe signed his name quickly, and surprisingly neatly, throwing a smiley face next to his signature.

"Happy?" Sam asked.

Gabe grinned up at Sam, "Very."

After Gabe recapped the sharpie, Sam said, "You know, I don't know how to thank you."

"For what?" Gabe asked.

"For what?! Are you serious?" Sam said, "If it weren't for you, I would've never been free of Lucifer. You're the only reason I'm here right now. You're always looking out for me. And I will never be able to thank you enough."

Gabe laughed, "You're gonna give me one hell of an ego talking like that."

"I'm serious, Gabe. Thank you," Sam said.

Gabriel's smile softened, "You're welcome. You know how you can really thank me? Be happy." Sam didn't know how to respond to that. He was happier than he'd been in years.

"I am happy," Sam said.

Gabe said, "Not I-just-got-out-of-hell happy. I mean really happy. I mean enjoying life again happy." Sam wondered briefly how perceptive Gabe really was. Did he know how fucked up Sam was in the head?

"I'll try," Sam answered truthfully. He'd settle for not being in pain to be quite honest, but being happy did sound nice. He couldn't imagine being happy without Gabriel, which is why his next words shocked him even as he said them.

"I think we shouldn't hang out for a while," Sam said.

"What? Sam, I don't-"

"I need some time to adjust to everything that's happened." And he did. Being around Gabe was just going to make him want to date him. He didn't have ties to Luci holding him back anymore. But he couldn't just jump into something so soon after Luci.

"I get that, but we're friends," Gabe said, "Friends help friends adjust to psycho ex's being out of the picture, right?"

Sam swallowed. He wanted to stay. He wanted to kiss Gabe and tell him how he felt and try to make up for every ounce of kindness Gabe had shown him by loving him with all he had.

Sam said, "I need to know that I'm okay on my own. I haven't been single since...nearly junior high. I need to feel like I'm strong, that I can stand on my own two feet and be okay. If we keep hanging out, I'll start using you as a crutch, I know it." He didn't want to leave, but if he was serious about this break, he couldn't stay. He got up and put his arm back in his sling.

Gabriel looked up at Sam from the futon and asked, "This isn't forever, is it?"

Sam turned around and hugged Gabe.

He could kiss him. He could kiss him and tell him and stay and be happy. But he needed this. He needed to stop feeling so fucking powerless and useless and awful. He needed to stop bringing all of that shit into Gabe's life.

"Of course not. You're the best friend I've ever had," Sam said into Gabriel's shoulder. He released his friend and put his jacket back on. Walking home in the snow was gonna suck. But he could do this. Hopefully.

As Sam approached the door, Gabe said, "I'll wait for you as long as it takes."

The look of determined stoicism and that missing smile broke Sam's heart in ways he didn't know were possible. If he ever forgave himself for making Gabriel look like he was struggling to hold himself together, it would come as a serious shock. Honestly, Sam wasn't sure if he would ever see Gabe again. He wasn't sure if he could even be fixed, even by time. He was truly and seriously damaged in ways even Gabriel wouldn't be able to heal. Gabe deserved better than a train wreck like Sam. And if he deserved a better friend, he definitely deserved a better person to love.

Sam walked out the door and tried to pretend like everything was going to be okay.