Authors Notes: We are getting close to the end now, one more chapter after this one. Thanks to everyone for hanging in there :)

Feedback/Comments are always appreciated. Enjoy :)

Chapter 8 - Mike and Kate

Both Mike and Kate had left the party thinking they would talk, talk about their relationship, their future and the offer of a promotion for Kate, but as soon as they arrived back at Kate's place, neither knew what to say and both remained silent. Neither knew how to talk about the elephants in the room, and in Mike's case he didn't know whether or not he should.

He didn't know if it was too soon to talk, about any of the elephants, and so decided to leave it to Kate. He didn't want to push her, and reasoned with himself that she would talk about it when she was ready. "Coffee?" He asked breaking the silence as Kate moved toward the couch, too exhausted to speak so she nodded in response.

As Mike made his way to the kitchen and started making the coffee's he glanced back at Kate. She looked tired and defeated and his heart went out to her. He desperately wanted her to talk, but didn't know how to start the conversation. After what felt like an eternity the water boiled and Mike made the coffee's, returning to join Kate on the couch, placing the hot mugs on the coffee table in front of them. As he sat down next to her, he plucked up some courage and asked "Everything ok with you and Dutchy?"

"Yeah, we're ok. He tried to give me a pep talk to take the promotion, but..." Kate's voice trailed off and when Mike did not respond straight away she continued, "Did you know he's leaving Hammersley?" Kate asked, realising that Mike may not know given that Dutchy didn't talk about it again for the rest of the night.

"Mmm," Mike nodded indicating that he knew, "They told me as I was leaving Navcom. Can't say I'm happy about it, but I guess it's not my ship anymore, and with no CO, there was no-one to object." Mike knew he had to bite the bullet about the promotion at some point, and figured that now was as good a time as any, "Did his pep talk work? Have you thought anymore about the promotion?"

"Sort of," Kate admitted before taking a breath and continuing, "Even if I thought I could do it, Dutchy won't be there, neither will you, Charge will be leaving soon, and Swain..." Kate said with tears starting to reappear again in her eyes. "What if I get out there and need help? It will be all new senior sailors, what are they going to think if their female CO screws up or has some sort of emotional break down on them?" Kate asked, not really expecting an answer.

The truth was that after talking to Dutchy she had been prepared to stay on as XO, but throughout the night all his talk about regrets had been playing on her mind and she wondered if she would regret not taking the promotion.

Mike took a moment and considered what Kate was saying. She was right, she would be a new CO, which in itself would be a learning curve but it would be even steeper with a complete set of new senior sailors learning to work as a team. He knew that given the situation Navcom would be assigning some sailors with experience and she would have been able to trust them to do their jobs, but he also knew that wasn't what she was worried about.

As a CO, sometimes you need someone to talk to that you can trust. For him, it had been Kate, and before she came on board it had been Swain or Buffer. That's when the penny dropped for Mike, "Why don't you give Buffer a call, see if he wants to come back? He's probably going stir crazy on a frigate anyway." Mike suggested to Kate.

Kate's head shot up, "How do you do that?" She said snapping at him.

Mike heart dropped, he was taken aback by Kate's reaction. Up until then, in fact all night, she had been quiet. But now she was almost yelling at him and he had no idea why. "Ahh...umm... Do what exactly?" he asked confused.

"I have spent all evening trying to figure out what I should do. Dutchy gave me a pretty good pep talk and the best he could get me to agree to was to stay on as XO. You come over here and in one sentence you have me believing that I could actually take on the CO's position." Kate wasn't in an angry rage, but her voice was raised and she was definitely frustrated.

She had been going over this the whole night, and when it came to taking the CO's position, the one thing she couldn't get past was having no-one in the senior sailors group that she could trust with any kind of personal issues. She hadn't thought about Buffer, but it made perfect sense. She trusted him on a personal and professional level, and she knew that when he found out how many changes there were he would want to come back, even if it was only temporarily to help out.

Going by Kate's tone, Mike was starting to get his apology ready. He didn't want to have a fight with her, today was not the day. As he was getting his apology right in his head before he started it suddenly clicked that getting her to believe in herself shouldn't be something he is apologising for, "Wait...I'm...Is this a good thing or a bad thing?" He asked confused.

Kate chuckled a little at Mike's response. They had been on edge around each other for so long now that they had almost forgotten how to have a normal conversation, "It's a good thing I guess." She admitted with a smile.

"Why don't you sleep on it tonight. Things always seem clearer in the morning." Mike offered. He knew Kate was in no state of mind to make her decision now, and truthfully he was just happy that she seemed better than when she left Navcom and that she was at least considering the offer now.

Kate thought about it for a few moments. There was so much she needed to deal with, and she didn't know if any of it would seem clearer in the morning. "And if it doesn't?" She asked quietly.

"Then sleep on it again tomorrow night, and the night after, and the night after." Mike offered turning to face Kate who looked at him with a somewhat confused look on her face, "You have a week to make your decision." Mike explained with a slight smile.

"Sounds like a plan." Kate stated as Mike nodded in agreement. As they sat in silence drinking their coffee's Kate contemplated the rollercoaster she had been on in the past twelve hours. Earlier in the day her and Mike had admitted their feelings for each other, then throughout the service she could feel him supporting her, even when he wasn't next to her.

She had been able to speak to Jim's parents and find some closure, and maybe even help them deal with their grief a little bit. She had then been offered a promotion and after initially feeling completely overwhelmed, she was now beginning to feel as though it may be possible. Exhaustion was beginning to take its toll, but there was one last thing that needed to be discussed before the night ended. Dutchy had told her to make any decisions about Mike with her heart not her head, and it was about time she did that.

For the first time in a long time, she believed that she could have what she had always wanted. She wanted to be with Mike, she wanted a future with him, and this time she would do whatever it took to make things work. No-one and nothing would get in the way of things this time, including the Navy and its rules. With her resolve strengthening, she reached over to him and slid her hand down his arm until it was resting in between his two hands. It was a simple gesture, but to both of them it meant so much. Kate's nerves were settled when she felt Mike's hands tighten around hers and she knew that he was feeling the same way she was. She could have stayed as she was all night, but her mind began to race and there were questions she needed answers to first. Even though she knew what she wanted, she was not entirely sure of his long term intentions.

Breaking the silence, Kate took a deep breath before beginning, "Mike, twelve months ago I thought I was watching you being blown up, and after the last couple of days I can't help but to think that we haven't really made the most of our opportunities." Kate said as her voice faded while she tried to contain her emotions.

"Kate, we don't have to do this tonight." Mike said interrupting Kate. He didn't want to rush her, and he didn't want to have an emotional conversation on a day that had been very emotional, especially for Kate.

"No, I want to get this out." Kate said with some conviction returning in her voice. "If there is one thing I learnt from Jim it's not to waste time. I know the timing's not great, and I know we are both still dealing with a lot of grief, but if we wait...the timing never seems right for us. Mike, I want to be with you. Not with me upstairs and you on the couch, or taking a holiday with separate bedrooms, or just taking it a day at a time and seeing how it goes. I want my future to be with you."

"That's what I want too..." Mike started before Kate turned to face Mike, using her free hand to place a finger on his lips to stop him from talking.

"Let me finish," It was the first time she had managed to look at him since placing her hand on his arm, and looking at him now, with her fingers on his lips, her breath hitched as she had to stop herself from leaning forward to kiss him. As she looked into his beautiful blue eyes she could see the love he had for her and she suddenly wondered why she had ever doubted it. But she had loved him for ten years and loving him was easy, making it work was the hard part. She was still not sure of what he wanted from the relationship, and there were things that needed to be asked and said before any of this could go any further.

Allowing her fingers to trail down his chin before coming to rest on his chest, "Mike, you know what I want. I want everything, marriage, kids, the works. I'm not saying I want them tomorrow, but I do want them in my future, with you," Kate said pausing as she fought a losing battle to contain her emotions and nerves. What if he did not want the same? The question looped in her brain, almost causing her to chicken out. Unable to look at him in case the answer she hoped for was not the one she saw in his eyes, she lowered her head as the tears started falling down her face, "but I don't know what it is you want, and if you don't want the same things then I would rather know now. So I guess my question is, what do you want out of this?"

"With you," Mike said pausing as he reached over to lift Kate's face up, using his thumb to wipe away some of the tears that had fallen, "With you, I want everything. I just never talk about it, because I've never allowed myself to believe that it could happen." Mike's voice was beginning to crack under the emotions of his confession, but the thought of being with Kate for the rest of his life gave him the strength to remain in control.

"Really?" Kate asked unsure if what she was hearing was true.

"Really." Mike reassured Kate with a smile spreading across his face. "I want to spend Easter Saturday night setting up the backyard for the kids to have the best Easter Egg hunt. I want to lift our youngest up to put the Angel on top of the Christmas tree, read them T'was the Night before Christmas while they fall asleep on Christmas Eve. Then stay up with you watching Carols while we eat the Cookies and Milk they have left out for Santa because let's face it, they're our kids and they'll probably know if we just put it back. And for all the times in between I want to help them with their homework, teach them how to make their beds properly so you don't always have to do it, and everything else that being a good Dad entails."

Kate couldn't help but smile at Mike's dream, but she also knew that dreams don't always come true. "It's a nice dream Mike, but reality is always different. You'll be back at sea, probably on a frigate which means you will miss..." Mike cut Kate off before she could continue.

"If I have you and a couple of kids at home, there is no way I will go back to sea. If it's my career that you are worried about, I hear that it is possible to get promotions with shore postings, and if I don't then so be it. If either of us get itchy feet and want to be back on the water we can hire a boat and head out to sea for a couple of days." Mike's mind was in overdrive and he was already thinking about holidays they could take on the water that their kids would enjoy. He was disrupted from his thoughts when he felt Kate move.

Kate wondered why it had taken her and Mike so long to have this conversation. She had been so scared that he would say he didn't want children that she had never been able to bring herself to ask him outright. But now that she had asked him, and he wanted the same life as her, she really didn't want to wait anymore. Leaving one hand on his chest, she removed her other hand from his, placing it instead behind his neck. As she moved up to kiss him she could feel him moving to meet her half way and couldn't hide her smile. It was a simple yet intimate kiss. It wasn't filled with the passion or heat of some of their previous encounters; it wasn't the day for it, and there would be plenty of time for that later.

As they broke apart Kate looked directly into Mike's eyes, "I love you." She said simply.

"I love you more." Mike said with a smile. It might have been the first time they had said it to each other, but he knew it wouldn't be the last. He reached up to Kate's face pretending to use his thumb to tuck some hair behind Kate's ear, when really he was just looking for an excuse to touch her. It had been too long since he was able to touch her like this, and up until this morning he thought he may never touch her again. Today was not the day to consummate their confession, and before the awkwardness could develop Mike said softly, "It's been a long day, why don't we get some sleep. Tomorrow sounds like a pretty good day to make a fresh start."

"Sounds good," Kate agreed, moving to place her head against Mike's chest, while he wrapped his arms around her. She was exhausted and unable to move from the couch so allowed herself to become comfortable against Mike, slowly letting her eyes close as her day drew to a close. Mike knew that Kate was too tired to walk up the stairs to her bed so allowed her to lie against him and felt the change in her breathing as she fell asleep.

He rose from the couch slowly, trying not to wake her, picked her up carefully and breathed in her scent as he carried her upstairs. Walking with his precious cargo in his arms, he realised this probably wouldn't be the last time he would be doing this and as such made a mental note to suggest they move into a single level house. As he placed her on the bed he took a moment to admire the sight in front of him.

He couldn't believe how beautiful she looked and how lucky he was that he would get to wake up next to her, hopefully for the rest of his life. As he curled up next to her, placing one arm around her body, a sense of calmness and inner peace washed over him. The last time he remembered being this at ease with the world was the last time he was in a bed with Kate, something he did not think would ever occur again. As he fell asleep he didn't know exactly what his future held, but he knew Kate would be in it, and that was enough for now.

To Be Continued.