Dean watched Sam and Gabriel leave for Starbucks and turned to Cas, saying, "Well, that went better than expected."

Cas nodded, "I don't know why, but I was expecting more of a fight from your brother."

Dean eyed Cas. Sam was finally out of the apartment, Charlie and Dorothy seemed to be out or in their room, and Cas was just standing there, looking adorable.

Dean slowly backed Cas up against the wall and kissed him deeply. He rocked his hips into Cas', grinning against his boyfriend's lips when Cas moaned.

"Dean," Cas said, breaking the kiss, "If we're continuing this, we should go to your room." Dean nodded and gently pulled Cas to their bedroom.

"Our room," Dean corrected. Cas smiled brightly and kissed him.

Once he closed the door, he pressed Cas into the door and kissed him hard and thorough. Cas moaned against his mouth, which made his heart race and his pants feel tighter. Slowly, Cas pushed Dean towards the bed. Dean lay down and stared up at Cas, as his boyfriend straddled his hips, grinning down at him.

"What's all this about?" Cas asked.

Dean answered by pressing kisses to Cas' neck and throat and jawline and cheek and lips.

"Dean," Cas sighed, making a thrill run down Dean's spine at hearing Cas say his name. He ran his hands up Cas' back and through his hair. Dean just wanted to savor every inch of him.

As he nuzzled Cas' neck, he saw Ben running up to him at the IHOP. He kissed Cas harder. He wrapped his arms around Cas tightly and rubbed his hands over his boyfriend's back and shoulders. Cas felt so strong beneath his hands.

He remembered having sex with Lisa on her kitchen counter and having to keep kissing her so her moans wouldn't wake up Ben. Cas trailed his lips down his neck. Dean pulled his shirt off to give Cas more skin access. He didn't want to think about that stuff. He wrapped his fingers in Cas' hair and pulled his face towards him, opening his boyfriend's mouth with his tongue.

He heard Lisa shout "He's not your son" at him. He kept kissing Cas.

They should never have gone to IHOP.

Cas broke away from Dean and looked at him.

"Are you alright?" Cas asked.

Instead of answering, Dean started to ease Cas' shirt off.

"Dean," Cas said firmly, "Are you okay?"

Dean dropped Cas' shirt and looked at his boyfriend. If he said something was wrong, he'd have to tell Cas that he was, albeit unwillingly, thinking about Lisa while making out with Cas. That was a conversation Dean just did not want to have.

Before he could lie, though, Cas said, "I didn't think so. You didn't feel like you were really here."

Dean nodded, "Sorry."

Slowly, Cas rolled off of him and said, "Not that I mind the attention, but what's going on?"

Dean hesitated. There was really no way to make it sound okay.

"You can tell me," Cas said.

Dean sighed, "I don't really want to talk about it."

"What would make you want to talk about?" Cas asked.

Dean smirked, "You taking off your shirt wouldn't hurt."

Cas rolled his eyes but smiled at Dean. "Fine," he said, "You tell me what's bothering you and I'll remove clothing per issue."

Dean's eyes widened. He was serious. Holy shit. Dean hadn't seen Cas naked yet, and the idea really intrigued him, but at the same time, he was asking Dean to get personal. He probably wouldn't strip down for vague tidbits either. Dean was very conflicted.

"Okay," Dean said quietly.

Cas propped himself up on an elbow and waited patiently. All he could really think of was the Ben and Lisa thing. That didn't feel like enough to get Cas' clothes off.

"I guess it's the whole IHOP thing," Dean said, "It brought back a few memories that I didn't want."

Cas gave him a look and said, "Like what?"

Dean shut his eyes. He couldn't look at Cas when he said it.

"Like my whole fucking relationship with Lisa," he said. He felt Cas' hand on his chest. Dean looked at him and was surprised to see Cas giving him a soft smile.

Carefully, Cas took off his shirt. His stitches stood in startling contrast to Cas' pale skin. Dean's boyfriend climbed back on top of him and sat on Dean's pelvis, sending excitement and warmth everywhere. Gently, Dean moved his hands up Cas' hips and sides. He was careful to avoid the stitches.

"I'm sorry about what happened with Lisa," Cas said, "She had no right to keep you from saying goodbye to Ben."

"Yeah, she did, Cas. He's her kid," Dean said. Cas put a hand on Dean's cheek, making Dean's breath catch.

"I'm still sorry," Cas said.

Dean leaned into his boyfriend's hand. "Thanks," he said.

"I'm still sorry about your stitches," Dean said quickly.

He still had to talk about two more things unless Cas was counting his socks as an item of clothing, which would just be bullshit honestly.

Cas asked, "What?"

"You wouldn't have gotten mugged if I didn't kick you out, and I feel awful every time I see your stitches, because it's my fault."

"Dean, it's not your-"

"Yeah, it is, Cas. I know you don't blame me, but I do. And I'm sorry."

Cas sighed and slipped off Dean and onto the floor.

"What?" Dean asked. Cas bent towards Dean and kissed him.

"One day, you'll see how wrong you are," he said, "I'm not going to press it now."

Dean watched his boyfriend unzip his pants and kick them off in the corner of their room. Dean reached out, curled a finger under the hem of Cas' boxers, which were surprisingly soft, and pulled him closer to the bed.

"I still want to shoot Luci in the face," he said, tugging on Cas' boxers with a smile on his face.

"Tell me something I don't know," Cas said, smiling.

Cas shoved Dean's shoulder playfully and kicked off his socks.

"Socks? Really?" Dean complained.

Cas grinned, "Be glad I didn't count my socks individually."

Dean rolled his eyes and laid back.

Cas flopped back onto the bed and asked, "Anything else?"

Dean smiled at him.

"Do you want to lose your boxers?" he asked.

Cas replied, "Do you want me to lose my boxers?"

Dean met his boyfriend's gaze, challenging him to look away. Cas' bright blue eyes poured into Dean's green.

"I'm afraid of having sex with you," Dean said quietly. It seemed to take Cas a moment to realize this was another confession.

"Why?" he asked. Dean didn't see any hurt in Cas' expression, but Cas' expression was deceptively blank.

Dean paused for a moment, unsure of which reason to give, but said, "A few things. I've never been with a guy, so I don't have the faintest idea how that's gonna go down. I've never wanted to be with a guy till now, and that's still...new. But mostly, it's a lot of feeling that gets put into it; it's a lot of..."

"Love?" Cas said helpfully.

Dean looked at his boyfriend warily. It was way too soon for the 'L' word. Or talking about the 'L' word.

"Yeah," Dean said, "And I'm not sure..."

He wasn't sure if loving Cas would be a good or bad thing. He wasn't sure if he was capable of loving Cas, considering the train wreck his last relationships had been. He wasn't sure if Cas should love him. If he did wind up loving Dean, it would leave him open for so much more pain. He'd be so vulnerable. And Dean would exploit it like the moron he was.

"Not sure if you love me?" Cas finished questioningly.

Dean swallowed, "Not sure if I can."

That got a reaction from Cas. He looked like Dean slapped him across the face.

"No," Dean said grabbing Cas' wrist and his attention, "I don't mean it like that. If I am capable of love, I could love you. That's not the problem."

Cas waited for him to elaborate.

Dean explained, "I'm not sure if I can love. Period. I thought I was in love with Cassie. I thought I was in love with Lisa. But none of that worked out. None of it. It was just pain and stupidity and I don't know if I ever really loved them. I thought I did at the time, but how could I-how could things have gone the way they did if I really loved them?"

Cas nodded slowly. "I understand," he said, "I think you loved them. I think if you didn't, memories wouldn't hurt you as much as they do. But I understand."

Dean smiled, "Thanks, Cas."

Cas grinned and hopped back off the bed. "Thank you for telling me," he said.

Slowly, Cas slid his boxers down off his hips and down his legs. He kicked them over by his pants. Dean's heart raced. If his erection was anything to go by, maybe Dean wasn't as afraid of sex with Cas as he thought. Dean sat up and looked at his boyfriend. He looked like a fucking Greek god. And his hip bones...he just didn't even know what to do with those. Cas' ability to turn Dean on just by standing there was damn near offensive. This was not fair. Cas seemed to be nearly solid muscle everywhere, and he was so ungodly hot. Cas' effect on Dean was every kind of not fair.

"Cas," Dean breathed. He wanted to put his hands everywhere. He wanted to claim every inch of him. Cas slowly walked towards the bed, eyes glued to the ground. Dean pulled Cas down on top of him and kissed him, letting his hands roam.

"Oh my God, Cas. How are you so fucking hot?" he asked. Cas chuckled and kissed Dean. As if Dean wasn't turned on enough, Cas pressed his pelvis into Dean's.

"Okay, I take back what I said," Dean said, "I want you."

Cas sighed, "We're not having sex, Dean. Just because you're turned on doesn't mean you're comfortable with it."

"Fine," Dean said. Cas did have a point.

He added, "I'm still taking off my pants."

Cas grinned and rolled off of him.

"By all means," Cas said, "Boxers too, if you want."

Dean looked at Cas, lying naked in his bed wanting him to join him on the bed...also naked. How did he ever get so lucky?

He tossed his pants and boxers over by Cas' at the same time. He felt extremely self-conscious standing in front of Cas like this. With Cas staring at him in that overly intense way of his, it only added to Dean's nervousness. Considering that this is exactly what Cas had just done, he started to wonder if his boyfriend had nerves of steel or if he was just really good at hiding it. With how fucking sexy Cas was, there really wasn't anything for him to be self-conscious about. Dean never really had a problem with how he looked, he knew he was attractive, but Cas was practically ethereal lying on his bed waiting for him to join him.

Dean lay next to Cas on the memory foam mattress and kissed Cas. Everything felt so overly exposed, and it was amazing. He pressed his chest to Cas', making sure not touch the stitches. Cas brought his leg between Dean's but not any further than he'd gone before. Dean rocked his hips into Cas', his boner rubbing against Cas' pleasurably. Knowing Cas' lack of stamina, there probably wouldn't be much more of this.

As he kissed Cas harder, Dean's phone rang from his discarded pants.

"Dammit," Dean said. It might be Sam.

Cas smiled and said, "Go answer it. I'll wait."

Dean rolled off the bed and scrambled to grab the phone.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hey, Dean!" came the answer.

Dean suddenly felt very, very awkward being naked after he recognized the voice.

"Hi, Cassie," Dean said.

Cas sat up a little. All Dean wanted to do was jump right back in bed with Cas. He'd keep the conversation quick.

"I'm coming back for the first week of January," Cassie said.

"Really?" Dean said, "That's great. We should hang out while you're here. I have someone I think you should meet."

Cas looked at him from the bed, like he wasn't sure what Dean was going to say.

"Oh, really? Who's the lucky lady this week?" she teased.

He said evenly, "His name is Cas." Cas sat up and stared at Dean.

"Wait...his? His name? His?! Oh my God, you have got to tell me everything! How did you meet? What's he like? Since when are you gay?" she squealed into the phone.

Dean sighed, "I'll tell you when you get here. Let me know when you want to hang. I have to go."

"Alright," Cassie said, exasperated, "Talk to you later."

Dean hung up the phone and sat back down on the bed.

"You want Cassie to meet me?" Cas asked.

Dean pulled Cas down next to him and ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair.

"I want you to meet Cassie," Dean clarified, "She's one of the only friends of mine you don't already know, and I don't want to just ditch you so I can go see my friend while she's in town. Also, I guess it's a bit of a test."

"A test?"

"Cassie is...she and I are just friends, but she can be a bit flirty. And she likes to reminisce. I'd like for you to meet her sooner rather than later, so it's not a shock years from now."

Cas nodded, "Okay. This will be uncomfortable, won't it?"

"Probably," Dean said, "If you don't want to meet her till later, you don't have to, but since she's in the army and only coming home for a week, it'll be a good time to find out if you guys get along. If you don't like each other, she'll be leaving. It's a better situation than when she's back for good, you know?"

Cas smiled, "Make sense."

Dean grinned, "Great. Now, where were we?"

He pressed himself up against Cas when he heard the apartment door open. Dean could tell by the footsteps that it was Sam and probably Gabriel.

It was like the universe threw him an epic cock-block. First, his ex-girlfriend calls, then his brother comes home early. Great.

Cas sighed, "They're still out in the living room. I'm not worried about an intrusion if you're not." Dean grinned and kissed Cas.

Footsteps started coming down the hall. Quickly, Dean tossed Cas his pants and pulled on his own. Cas scrambled for his shirt, and within record time, they were dressed.

Sam and Gabriel had apparently gone into Sam's room. Dammit. Dean looked at Cas, and Cas burst out laughing. The mood was so very dead.

"Do you want to-?" Dean asked, indicating the bed.

Cas shrugged, "I don't really care. I just got dressed, though."

"Fuck it," Dean said, smiling, "We have Doctor Who to watch anyway." As they walked out in the hall, Dean saw Sam's door was open.

He saw Sam kiss his friend, and heard Gabriel say, "Sam."

The sound of regret in Gabriel's voice was enough for Dean to grab Cas' hand and pull him to the living room. He wanted to get as far from that room as he could before the shit hit the fan.