Greg and Ed had got themselves changed just in time for the other team to come off duty and drag themselves in after a tough night on duty; thankfully they both noticed there was no harm to anyone and they were just needing a hot shower, breakfast and a good sleep. Spike came in last and grinned at everyone standing there, one look at Greg's face and he knew something was wrong; he walked over and both the older officers pulled him into the room.

"What's happened?" he demanded.

"Easy Spike, nothing is wrong – just more a concern about behaviour we have noticed this morning?" Greg replied.

Spike was confused; he wasn't acting weird or anything and really needed to go home and slide into bed beside me.

"Are you aware that Mac is here this morning – has been since one?"

Spike shook his head and replied he didn't know, he had no contact with me all night and had figured that I was sleeping deeply since I had a bout of insomnia again. He told them both that the withdrawal was over and the shrink had cleared me to go back onto duty; the only thing he had noticed is that my appetite was still really low and I was constantly away jogging or swimming.

"You said she was here – where?" Spike asked looking about.

"She got a little pissed off and is currently in the pool doing some lengths – think we need to go and have a chat with her – find out what's on her mind and work it out?" Ed replied.

Spike took off at a run and a minute later was entering the poolside and watched me as I swam in the huge pool; I had my scuba tanks on and was diving, placing the markers required for tomorrow in the mystery map formation I had come up with six months ago. He watched as I moved under the water and started to take off his gear and sit beside the pool to watch in case anything happened. I was oblivious to him being there as I was calm underwater doing a job I loved and didn't have much chance of doing in the SRU. I swam up a few feet from the bottom and checked the map formation one last time and broke the surface of the water a few moments later. I pulled my goggles down around my neck and inflated my vest to support the weight of the tanks. A voice called my name and I turned around in the pool and sighed – 'shit – what is he doing here?'

"Mac – you're supposed to be resting and off duty until tomorrow," he asked.

I swam over to the side of the pool and took his hand as he raised me out of the water; I grabbed a towel and wrapped myself up to keep warm as the poolside arena was freezing cold due to the weather.

"Mac can you please tell me why you are working yourself to exhaustion? Why you are constantly working out and have no appetite – has something happened and you can't tell us?" he whispered as he pulled me to the changing rooms.

I looked at him and ran my hands through my hair as I paced gently back and forth; it was infuriating as I knew what I needed but I was afraid to ask for their help after all the crap in the last few months. A set of hands stopped me in track and pulled me into him; I slipped my arms around his back and sighed.

"I got word from the MOD regarding the inquest in London; Toth has been cleared of all charges and has been re-assigned to a Marine base in Ottawa. He reported for living assignment three days ago." I replied.

One of my fears was getting removed from the team either by force or one of my now famous screw ups, it wasn't fun to admit but I apologised openly to everyone in the SRU as a group and explained the situation. They all have been so supportive and always open to speak about their own experiences and what helped them. Spike was looking at me and leaned back against the wall as every emotion went across my face and I sat on the floor and took a deep breath.

"Okay, so that asshole got cleared and has been assigned to a Marine base 500 miles away, he can't come after you or us again – the order from the Commander means if he comes within thirty miles of any of us – he is arrested and removed back to England." He replied kneeling down.

"It's not that easy Spike. He arrived with a group of SAS who I used to work with in Afghanistan, they were dishonourably discharged from service after causing some problems for me – including blaming me for killing their team leader," I replied.

He snapped his head up at that one; I rarely talked about my tours of duty as he knew they were painful reminders of what happened – but hearing that I worked with members of the SAS was a whole new world of pain. Spike knelt down in front of me and raised my chin up.

"I want you to go and get cleaned up and then we are going to Ed and the boss. We will figure this out, it is hopefully just coincidence that they are all here at the same time; if not – and then we will deal with it alright? I'll meet you in the briefing room in twenty minutes." He ordered.

I nodded and got off the floor and headed for a really hot shower to gather my thoughts and sort out what I would now need to explain to my team; this should have been sealed a couple of years ago but recent events now had brought everything to light and I would need to make a decision quickly. Twenty minutes later I headed back to the meeting room to see Spike, Ed and Parker talking; a set of footfalls behind me and I was hugged by Sam who had just arrived.

"You okay Mac, you're pale as hell!" he whispered stopping me.

I turned around to him and stopped him from walking; I nodded to a couple of other people walking past and pulled him to the side of the corridor. His body language changed and he clicked into military mode immediately as he caught my look and the group of people in the meeting room.

"It's time I told them Sam, I can't keep this to myself any longer – things have changed and I need to keep everyone safe!"

He looked straight into my eyes and sighed, this was going to be a really bad morning!

"This is massive and you don't have clearance for releasing this information to anyone outside the chain of command – you could be brought up on charges of Sedition and Treason if people found this out!"

I handed the letter I had received from the superiors and looked at him as he read it; he looked at me and groaned; he nodded and followed me over to the room and hit the shutters. Everyone looked at us and took a seat as I paced the floor for a moment to gather my thoughts and take a deep breath.

"Mackenzie – take a moment and then start," Sam whispered.

"I spent nearly eight years in Iraq and Afghanistan as part of the K-Bar operation and the rescue team in Iraq in 2006. As a nurse in the 205 Coy, you are trained in basic combat skills and weapon training; and I mean it is basic and the Browning and SA80 is all we are allowed to be trained in. As a female medic I should not even be on frontline duty, but I volunteered as I wanted to support people who risked everything to ensure our safety. The next six months I was put through advanced training and combat techniques and then deployed with a team of K-bar operatives as primary medic."

Everyone just sat there in silence.

"That's how I first met her, through the K-bar operation briefing. We were all taking bets on how long she would last as she was 18 years old and very new – she looked like a ghost for most of the first week and it took four of us in my team nearly a fortnight to get her out her shell." Sam chipped in.

Everyone bar Sam and me were stock still; Spike was just staring at us, Parker was catching flies with his mouth and Ed was glaring at me. One of the first comments he made towards me as he put me through my paces is that he thought I had SAS skills – I had laughed and made a joke about being a brownie and having wild skills in the hills.

"So – who trained you SAS or JTF2?" he demanded.

"SAS, with added support and instruction from JTF2 while in the sand – put it this way if they hadn't trained me – I would not have survived the bomb blast that killed my team." I replied.

I paced back and forth again and was getting agitated; this information was meant to be dead and buried, a part of history that was never meant to be known to anyone else in my life. Spike grabbed my hand as I passed and put me into the seat beside him as he saw that I was going into overdrive again and was becoming exhausted – it was a huge part of my life and was traumatic at the best – but I did feel like a weight came off my chest as I told them about it.

"Okay – so apart from the major secret ninja skills you have been trained with and that have really come into play with our job – anything else you need to inform us about? I'm just asking, in case I need to get your tranquilizers ready, in case you go off the rails again." He hissed.

I stared at Ed – did he just try and provoke me?

Sam stared at him too – anger flashed across his face.

Parker ordered him to 'shut up' and became quiet again.

Spike was livid at the nasty comment.

I leaned on the table and looked straight into his face.

"You are a moronic arsehole!" I hissed back.

"And you have done nothing but lie to us from day one and are a huge drain on my team! No lies, that is the one rule we have – you have done nothing but lie since coming to join us!" he yelled back in my face standing up.

Before I knew it I had punched him hard in the face and was walking out the room as quickly as the shutters opened; I heard the others race in as they heard the raised voices and I stormed upstairs to the commander's office – this was going to be a great conversation!