Dean woke up slowly to the feeling of a strong arm thrown over his waist and a hand splayed low on his abdomen. He blinked several times, his eyes feeling gritty and puffy. He tried to move out from underneath the arm, but he was hauled back against a broad chest, the lips pressed against the nape of his neck mumbled incoherently.
"Cas?" Dean managed to croak out. Castiel's grip tightened and small kisses were placed on the side of Dean's unshaven jaw. Dean could feel Castiel's erection poking into the meaty part of his ass.
Dean maneuvered himself where he was lying on his back, Castiel muttered grumpily, snuggling into his side. Dean closed his eyes, thinking back to the night before. All he could remember after telling Castiel about his father and crying was falling asleep for a bit on the couch before Castiel managed to wake him up enough to guide him to bed.
He still couldn't believe that he told Castiel everything, not that it would have been hard for him to find out himself if he really looked. He thought for sure that once he told him, Castiel would recoil in disgust, but that didn't happen. Astonishingly, he told Dean that he loved him. Loved him despite what had happened.
Dean tried to process what it all meant, but he was too drained. Last night had released long buried emotions that left him feeling raw and hollow inside, but in a good way. He felt like this emptiness was a good thing because now he could fill it with better things. Better emotions, experiences, and memories. Good memories that he felt starved for. Memories that he wanted to make with Castiel.
"Cas." Dean said quietly again, feeling himself harden as Castiel rubbed himself against Dean's hip as he slept.
Dean turned over onto his side to face Castiel, leaning in close to kiss him softly. Castiel blinked his eyes sleepily, momentarily confused. As his eyes sharpened with awareness, his cheeks tinged pink when he realized what he was doing.
"Good morning." Castiel greeted in a sleep roughened voice, his hand snaking up Dean's hip before slipping under his t-shirt to lightly stroke his side.
"Mornin'." Dean whispered back, taking in the dark mused hair and the creased impression on his cheek left from his pillow.
"How are you feeling?" Castiel's eyes were trained on Dean with concern.
Dean smiled while gently pushing Castiel onto his back to loom over him. "I'm good. Really good actually."
Dean leaned in again to kiss Castiel's sleep softened lips. A hand cupped Castiel's jaw, turning his head to deepen the kiss.
When they finally broke away to catch their breaths, Dean stared down at Castiel's passion darkened eyes.
Something warm passed through Dean as his eyes memorized Castiel's face, his swollen lips, flushed cheeks and heavy lidded eyes. The feeling swelled until he felt like he wouldn't be able to contain it. He always shied away from any strong emotion, but this he knew he was powerless against it.
"I love you, Cas." Dean said in a voice so low it was barely audible, but judging from the widening of Castiel's eyes, the short intake of breath followed by the brightness of his smile, Castiel heard him.
Castiel propped up on both elbows to capture Dean's lips. "I love you too." Castiel said between kisses.
Dean was so lost in the plush feel of Castiel's lips, the feel of smooth firm skin stretched over sturdy muscle that Dean didn't even notice that it was now Dean on his back, naked with Castiel between his spread thighs. Castiel licked a stripe up Dean's cock before enveloping the head within the hot, wet heat of his mouth.
"Oh god, Cas…" he groaned, trying to keep his hips from canting up into Castiel's welcoming mouth.
Castiel looked up, his pupils blown, drinking in every bit of Dean's reaction.
"God, your mouth." Dean breathed out, his fingers curled into the dark, silken strands of his hair. Castiel hummed his pleasure, causing Dean to gasp, his grip tightening in his hair.
One constraining hand left Dean's hip to travel up his stomach and chest until Castiel's fingertips tapped against Dean's lips. Dean took a hold of Castiel's wrist, sucking three fingers into his mouth.
Castiel's eyes rolled back as he moaned, the vibrations causing Dean to shiver as Castiel doubled his efforts on Dean's cock, lapping at the slit before taking him deeper.
Dean bucked up in surprise, lightly scraping Castiel's fingers with his teeth before twirling his tongue around, getting them slick with saliva. Dean moaned shamelessly around the digits in his mouth, trying to control his hips.
Castiel's fingers slipped from his mouth as Dean threw his head back against the pillow. "Fuck!" he managed to croak out when he felt the head of his cock hit the back of Castiel's throat.
When he felt Castiel keening around him, Dean's eyes slit open to see that Cas had one hand behind him, opening himself up.
"Yeah Cas, open yourself up for me. Gonna fuck you so good, baby." Castiel cried out as he pushed a third finger into himself, face becoming more flushed with Dean's words.
"It's not about me…it's about you." Castiel said breathlessly as he worked himself on his fingers.
"No honeybee, it isn't about me today, it's about both of us. Now come here and give me your mouth." Dean rumbled, his body shaking with barely restrained need.
Castiel crawled up Dean's body until he was straddling his hips and leaned down until their bare chests were pressed together. Dean took hold of the both sides of Castiel's head and devoured Castiel's mouth, tugging, nipping and licking at Castiel's lips until the brunette was gasping and writhing on top of Dean, opening his mouth to make way for Dean's tongue.
Their groins rubbed together making Dean groan into Castiel's mouth and Castiel to shiver. Castiel planted the palms of his hands on Dean's chest, pushing himself up. He reached over to his nightstand to pull out a small tube.
"God, I need you." Castiel slicked up Dean's cock, giving it a few extra teasing strokes before sinking down on him, torturously slow. Castiel gave out a raspy sigh once he was fully seated on Dean's lap.
"Fuck." Dean hissed, hands going for Castiel's hips, his thumbs running over the sharp angles before sliding back to squeeze his ass.
"Come on, Cas. Ride me." Dean tried to demand, but it came out more like begging.
Castiel gave him an enigmatic smile before lowering his head down to kiss and suck at Dean's bared throat. Dean's hands tightened on Castiel's ass, suppressing the whine when Castiel squeezed around him and started to rock.
"That's it…ahhh...so good. Always take it so good for me." Dean managed to gasp out as Castiel speed up his rocking just enough to keep them both at edge. It was the last coherent thing Dean managed to say.
He didn't know how long they stayed in that position with Dean's hand's at Castiel's hips and Castiel's arms cradling Dean's head, his face buried in the junction of Dean's neck as they moved together.
When they finally came, it was unhurried, Castiel coming hotly over Dean's stomach, gasping out sweet nonsense into Dean's ear. While Castiel was still coming down from his orgasm, Dean chased his own, holding Castiel's hips tight as he thrust up into his warm body before succumbing to his own bliss with a muffled shout.
Castiel slowly slid off of Dean but wrapped his arms around him while throwing a leg over his hip. They fell back asleep with Castiel half covering him as if hiding him from the world.
For once, Dean didn't fight what he was feeling, but reveled in finally finding where he belonged, where he always belonged…in Castiel's heart.
And for once, he didn't question it.
Five months later
Balthazar sat in the corner of a studio, the wall of windows open to let in the spring air as he quietly watched Castiel instruct one of his young students. The student, Emily, was barely seven, her small, round face scrunched in concentration as her fingers moved over the keys again after Castiel had gently corrected her finger placement.
Balthazar watched as Emily finished her piece, finally getting it right. Castiel beamed down at her in pride and the little girl's face broke out into a huge grin that showed a missing front tooth.
Balthazar knew Emily's history. He knew that smile was precious and hard won. When she first showed up at Uriel's studio, she was painfully shy and distrusting. She was brought to the studio on a grant when the music teacher at her elementary school heard her play. Knowing what was going on in her life, the teacher spoke with Emily's aunt that had custody of the girl and together, they contacted Celestial Studios begging for Uriel and Castiel to hear the girl play.
Balthazar happened to be there that day, watching over Castiel as he normally did when the brown haired, green eyed girl came in, staring untrustingly up at the two men that occupied the room. Uriel, with his gruff demeanor and intimidating stature, Balthazar learned very quickly was surprisingly patient and gentle with children. He got down on one knee in front of the girl and talked to her quietly until she nodded. Uriel then led her to a piano and listened to her play a simple piece.
After the last note sounded, it was Castiel that spoke first, begging Emily's aunt to let him train her.
Now several months later, Balthazar watched, unobserved from the corner as they finished their lesson.
A tap came from the door causing the occupants to look up. A well built teen with the same chocolate brown hair and green eyes as Emily stood in the doorway, shuffling from foot to foot.
When Emily saw the boy, the transformation was startling.
"Trevor!" she cried, running to the teen, the force of the impact from her small frame had the boy stepping back to catch his balance. He leaned down and wrapped the girl into a full hug, holding her tight.
The boy, whose face held too hard of an edge for one so young, immediately softened when he looked down at Emily.
"Hey Em, Aunt Sarah said I could come pick you up today. How was your lesson?"
"It was great!" Emily grabbed his hand and started pulling him toward Castiel who watched them from the piano.
"Mr. Cas, this is my big brother, Trevor!" Emily smiled as she proudly introduced her brother.
Castiel shook Trevor's hand as recognition crossed Castiel's face. Trevor, seeing the look, immediately stiffened, his face closing off.
Before Castiel could say anything, Emily rambled on. "Mr. Cas and Dean are boyfriends!"
Balthazar started laughing, glad he was invisible so not to disturb the scene unfolding in front of him.
"Emily, how did you-" Castiel started.
"Em!" Trevor groaned, running a hand over his face.
Emily's wide green eyes looked between the two males in confusion. "What?"
"How did you know about Dean and I?" he asked gently.
"Dean is your boyfriend, isn't he Mr. Cas? Aunt Sarah was late picking me up one day and I saw you and Dean kissing in the hallway."
Balthazar watched as Castiel's face turned red. Trevor started to laugh, his posture no longer stiff, but relaxed.
"Dean talks about you all the time. I just never made the connection." Trevor smiled.
"Dean must have thought I already knew about Emily. He's always asking about her, but I thought it was because I talk about her a lot." Castiel shook his head and laughed ruefully.
Ever since Dean had gone to talk to Trevor and told him about his own experiences, the two had become close. When Sam and Gabriel won the case against Zachariah, the preacher's career was destroyed, especially when he served time for what he did to Emily. His time served would never be enough, but he was now a pariah in the community.
When Emily's deceased father's sister heard about what happened, she moved to Kansas from Michigan and won custody of both Trevor and Emily when their mother took off after Zachariah was imprisoned. Now Dean goes over to their house for dinner once a week to visit with both kids.
"Come on Em, we got to get going. Nice to meet you, Cas. You should come with Dean to dinner one night. Aunt Sarah is half in love with you so she would be thrilled." Trevor laughed again.
"Please, please come, Mr. Cas!" her small body vibrated with excitement.
"I'd love to Miss Emily." Castiel chuckled and ruffled her hair.
Once they left, Castiel sat down heavily on the piano bench and rubbed his eyes. Balthazar noticed the dark circles and knew something was wrong.
"Hello Cassie!" Castiel jumped slightly at Balthazar's unexpected presence.
"How long have you been here?" Castiel asked, grumbling as he got up and started gathering up sheet music.
"Long enough." Balthazar grinned and then turned serious. "You're good with the kids, especially Emily."
Castiel looked over his shoulder at Balthazar. "I see a little of myself in Emily. I find it quite rewarding working with her, with all the children here." Castiel stated simply.
"No regrets leaving the post office?"
"None whatsoever."
Balthazar clapped his hand on Castiel's shoulder and quickly removed it as if he was scalded when he got a glimpse inside Castiel's mind.
"The dreams are back?" Balthazar asked in shock, noticing Castiel's flinch.
Castiel sat back down on the bench. "They've been back for a couple of weeks. I don't know why, they just came out of nowhere." He stared down at his shoes miserably for a moment before looking back up at Balthazar. "Do you know what they mean? Why I'm having them?"
Balthazar bit his lip. He was told by Fate he wasn't allowed to tell Castiel anything; that he had to figure it out on his own. However, she didn't say anything about giving him hints.
He sat down next to Castiel. "This Righteous Man you're dreaming about. He's your soulmate."
"What? No, that's not possible." Castiel stared at him in disbelief.
"You know, Dean has a soulmate too." Balthazar said carefully.
Come on Cassie, take the hint, connect the dots.
Castiel didn't make the connection. Balthazar realized too late that he made a mistake as he watched Castiel's face shatter.
"Dean…he has a soulmate?" Castiel didn't wait for an answer, but stood up and started to pace the room, hands raking through his hair, making it stick up in crazy angles.
"Cassie-"
"I need to go." Castiel interrupted, eyes wet. He left everything behind, just walked out without another word.
Balthazar stared around the empty room and growled.
"Fuck…"
Two weeks went by and every time Balthazar saw Castiel, it was like seeing a stranger. He continued to become more withdrawn and his eyes held a dull sheen to them, like the light had been completely extinguished from them.
Balthazar tried talking to him, but he would just cut him off and ask him to go away.
It was one day, while in Heaven, he was contemplating about talking to Dean when Fate appeared in front of him, seething.
Her shiny red hair had literally turned to fire, flaming around her and her green eyes glowed so hotly that Balthazar could barely look at her. Her lips were curled back in a vicious snarl.
She was a truly frightening sight.
"I warned you, Balthazar. I told you to stay out of it! Even with your previous meddling, they still had a chance. Now, because of you, that chance is almost nonexistent."
"What do you mean? What's happening?" Balthazar asked and for the first time, real fear settled in his heart.
"Maybe you should go see what you've done." She snapped her fingers and suddenly they were in Castiel's apartment, standing in the kitchen.
Balthazar could hear Dean raised voice from the living room and then a moment later, the heavy slamming of the front door.
"Castiel? What happened?" Balthazar asked when he walked into the living room to see Castiel sitting on the couch, his hands tugging at his hair as he stared blankly down at the floor.
"I broke it off with him." he said hoarsely, as if he was still in disbelief at what he had done.
"What? Why Cassie? Why did you do that?" Balthazar sat down next to Castiel, pulling him close.
Castiel wrenched away from Balthazar, his eyes hard and his voice frosty. "What did you expect me to do, Balthazar? You told me we had soulmates. You said before if they don't get together, it ruins that goddamn delicate web you're always talking about. Besides, if there is somebody out there that's better for Dean, that will make him happier, I couldn't stand in the way. I couldn't do that to him. He deserves to be happy."
"What about you Cassie? What about your happiness? I know you love him."
Castiel glared, his eyes lit with rage. "Of course I love him. Why do you think I gave him up? I don't care about who my soulmate is because I highly doubt they will ever make me feel a tenth of what I feel for Dean." Castiel took a deep breath. "Why did you do it? Knowing we weren't destined to be together? Why put both of us through that?" Castiel's voice cracked, the rage abating, but was replaced with a cold emptiness that tore at Balthazar.
"Cassie, you don't understand, Dean-" Fate grabbed Balthazar's forearm, preventing any other words to form. He looked at her helplessly, begging her to let him talk. Her lips were set in a hard line as she shook her head.
Castiel stared at Balthazar, searching for answers, but when he saw none, he simply nodded.
"Is Sam and Gabriel's future secure now?" he asked quietly.
Balthazar was confused. Why was he bringing up Sam and Gabriel right now?
"Yes, they are, now I think you…"
"Good." Castiel interrupted curtly. "That means I fulfilled my end of the bargain. Remember, I help you with Sam and Gabe and you would leave me alone to have a normal life."
Balthazar felt the air whoosh from him. "Surely you don't mean that…"
"I do. I want you to leave. I want you to leave and never bother me again."
Castiel looked away from him, as if he was already invisible to him.
Balthazar looked blindly around the room and nodded. His eyes were fogged with tears as he went into stealth mode.
He sat there for a few moments just watching Castiel until Castiel finally go up from the couch. He calmly walked to the closet and pulled out a baseball bat.
Balthazar's gut tightened when he saw Castiel walk over to his beloved grandmother's piano. He simply stared at it for a moment before suddenly bringing the bat up and swinging down hard on the keys. Chunks of wood and ivory flew through the air until it littered the floor.
Discordant sounds rang out in the silence that was eventually joined by Castiel's enraged cries as he bashed into the piano over and over again.
When his arms finally gave out, he slumped to the floor, ignoring Charlie's frantic knocking until she finally got out her key and let herself in.
Balthazar watched numbly as Charlie wrapped her arms around her friend, until he finally clutched her and held her tight.
"This is what happens when you interfere. You're lucky you haven't been cast out yet, but let me make it perfectly clear. If you interfere again or try to make contact with Castiel or Dean, you will be cast out without a second thought. Do you understand me?"
Balthazar's eyes didn't leave Castiel and Charlie. Castiel was now crying into Charlie's neck, as Charlie rocked and soothed him.
"Understood."
Balthazar barely noticed Fate's departure for his mind was already busy making plans.
He was going to fix this. He was going to make it right again even with the threat of being cast out looming over him.
Besides, what's the point of being in Heaven if he was already in hell?
I'm back! Is anybody still here? I know I did a big time jump in this chapter, but I'm getting to where I want to be to finish this story and quite frankly, the whole Thanksgiving chapter I was going to write just was blocking me so I decided to get rid of it and some other scenes I had planned. I did this to get me where I need to be to get to the end.
I'm sorry this turned into such an angsty chapter in the end, but it will be worth it and let me tell you, Balthazar won't let Cas down. :)
I can't promise speedy updates, but hopefully they will be a little faster than they have been lately. Besides, I have an inbox of destiel fic updates I need to read! I'm so far behind!
Thanks to everybody that's reviewed, followed and favorited this story. It really does mean the world to me! Thanks for reading!