Chapter 3: The Not So Calm After The Storm
As the Vampire mourned her life's pain and the hero remained unconscious and in immediate danger, something even more saddening, even more pain-inducing, and even more unspeakable was occurring.
"Ooooh, Gunter! Bubblegum is gonna be all ovah these abs!" The poor penguin could only avert his eyes (which had seen things too horrifying even for the Lich's empty gaze) as the Ice King coated his bunchy and thin abdominal muscles with maple syrup. "She likes sweet? Oh, baby! Am I gonna give her sweet!"
"Queck, queck!" Gunter hissed, unable to block his ears with his fins.
"Hmmm, maybe you're correct Gunter," The Ice King muttered thoughtfully. "Perhaps the cage is my undoing. What if she lived in my beard? Oh, I know she would go for that. It's so warm, and roomy, and there's little snacks for her to munch on!"
Gunter bent over, nearly hurling on the spot, before rushing to the bathroom to welcome his lunch back into the world.
"Pff. No wonder he's single. No idea what the ladies like," The Ice King laughed, throwing his blue robe (IT WAS NOT A DRESS DAMMIT) over his worn and pale body. "Off to get me something to chew on and blow, if you know what I mean."
It was only in Glob's grace that poor Gunter was not in the room for that misfire, as he might have had to call Doctor Princess for an emergency visit if he had been.
"Laddeeda dee da, it's awesome to fly with yo beard," The Ice King said in sing-song as he lifted off the ground and began his short trip to the Candy Kingdom. He made decent headway until he heard a distinct clanging he was all too familiar with, and cursed. "Stupid knives, I knew I should have checked the weather instead of watching Giraffe-wrestling."
The disgruntled frost monarch was close to drastically adjusting his course when a spec on the ground caught his attention. It was small, and directly in the path of the knife-storm; some of the stray blades had already begun to fall near it from what he could make out, stanky Wizard-Eyes withstanding.
Now, a sensible being would have not bothered to swoop down in the direct path of an incoming knife-storm and look at a random object when there was sweet princess action to be had. Fortunately for Finn and unfortunately for the rest of the world, the Ice King was a raving lunatic driven insane by an item of supreme power never meant for mortal hands, and whose chest was currently covered in maple syrup (meaning he also wasn't getting anything close to princess action, except from possibly Breakfast Princess). He also happened to have the attention span of a five year old boy in the candy kingdom, something Finn could relate to oddly enough as well.
The moral of the story is the batty wizard flew down to figure out what was about to get punctured, hoping it might be some neat loot, maybe a new couch or perhaps a vacuum cleaner, and gasped when he realized it was Finn. The boy moaned in turn, a knife having collided directly with his arm, his gooey blood spilling onto the ground.
"Oh no! My chum is about to get turned into knife chow!" The Ice King exclaimed, raising his hands in dramatic expression before lowering them and humming shrewdly. "Then again, this would mean a lot easier job of bringing the Princess back here if she's not on the same wavelength. I mean, I know she will be, but you know. Girls. Right Finn?"
He glanced down to notice several knives buried in the boy's body, and dimly realized a few were now sticking out of his own. "Oh. Ehh, guess I could turn this situation into 'Ice King saves the hero of Ooo'. I'll at least get a smooch out of that, and that's when she'll feel the maple syrup when she presses up against my body and then she'll moan as we become stuck together for all eternity." The Ice King blushed as he giggled in pleasure. "Oh my, I really need to right some of this stuff down for my fanfic."
A particularly large blade, more of an axe really, landed an inch away from Finn's head, and the wizard gulped. Wasting no more time, the Ice King lifted Finn into his arm, a few of the knives breaking off from the sudden movement, and began to zoom towards the Candy Kingdom, taking care to remove some of the knives from the boy (and himself, though he was feeling particularly numb today and barely felt them), freezing his wounds immediately after plucking each out.
It didn't take him long to breach the kingdom's skyline, and with haste he flew into its castle's large infirmary. Dr. Ice Cream was tending to Starch, who seemed to have something along the lines of Rabies based on his foaming drool, and turned around dramatically.
"Hey, my buddy kinda got caught in a knife-storm. He's just full of hi-jinks, you know?" The Ice King deadpanned, dropping Finn, whose skin was now matching his own hat in color, onto a bed and shrugging. "Er, medical crap weirds me out, so I'm gonna use the little Ice King room while you guys do whatever it is you do. I mean, if it were me, I'd probably attach strings to him and make a puppet show."
The looks on the faces of everyone in the room were filled with abrasive shock and confusion, looks the monarch had simply learned to block out over the years. With another shrug before leaving the room, he said, "Tell Bubblegum I'm here when you get the chance. Got a nice syrupy surprise for her."
Ignoring the wizard's ramblings (which was hard to do), the Doctor rushed forward, examining the patient, who by now had only three knives left in him. Unfortunately, one was sticking out from exactly the area his heart resided; it was a miracle the Ice King had elected to not remove it, as if he had, Finn would have been in even worse shape. "My Glob, he's near death's door, we need to hurry," Ice Cream shouted, the Taffy-Nurses springing to action and preparing a blowtorch for the ice, the laffy-taffy wound sealant and liquorice soda in case he needed more blood.
Deep in the Deadzone, Death grunted as his doorbell sounded. "This is my favorite part of Heat Signature, you can stay alive for a few more seconds you butt!" He shouted, scooping a handful of poppin' corn out of a canister.
"Doctor, the laffy-taffy is holding but he's barely stabilizing… and I don't think the liquorice is a great idea. We need the Princess before we can operate on the remaining knives," One of the nurses said, and the Doctor nodded, motioning for her to retrieve Bubblegum.
The nurse ran as fast as she could, bursting through the Princess's lab when she reached it and shouting, "PRINCESS! FINN THE HUMAN IS DYING! HE NEEDS BLOOD!"
Turning in shock but settling into steely resolve nearly instantly, the Princess nodded; if Bonnibel Bubblegum was anything other than succulently sweet, it was prepared. Taking a prick of Finn's blood while he was sleeping to create sufficient blood in case of such an emergency (and also to work on cloning experiments should the need of a Finn-army ever arise) was a precaution few would have ever thought of (partially because the latter fell under her "extremely unethical" experiment. Silly morals).
She quickly retrieved a tank of the red-gunk in question and without another word sprinted to the infirmary, where the medical staff immediately attached the tank to a diffuser and began to pump it into Finn via a liquorice IV. Clearing her throat, the doctor quickly removed the first two knives, filling the wounds with potent laffy taffy. After, she took another deep breath, staring at the knife near Finn's heart with determination.
Faster than humanly possible, she pulled out the knife and crammed a handful of taffy into the boy's heart, intricately twisting her fingers to repair it properly. The procedure was over in seconds, after-which the doctor sighed, wiping her head and therefore sending a good chunk of ice-cream flying across the room.
"I think he'll be okay. No matter how many mother-lumpin' PSA's we run about knife-storms, people just refuse to invest in stainless steel umbrellas," The ice cream cone muttered, shaking her head.
"Finn… what happened…" The Princess whispered, cupping the poor boy's cheek in her hand. He was cold, both from the ice and lack of blood, but was slowly regaining his peachish tone. "Does anyone know—"
Before she could finish, the doors to the infirmary were kicked in by none other than the Ice King, immediately walking over to Finn's side. Bubblegum was about to order him to be attacked when he said, "You know how hard it is to take a tinkle when your robe is stuck to your chest by maple syrup? Sheesh. The things I do for love." He paused, glancing around the room. "Oh, and is he doing alright? Can't believe I found him sleeping in the middle of a knife-storm."
Bubblegum smacked her head in disbelief, but went along with the crazed geezer's ramblings. "I'm sure that must have been very trying for you," She said cordially, trying her best to smile, and making sure to stay away from the Ice King; even if she was wearing her lab coat, the thought of him getting maple syrup on her was enough to make her barf up Big League Chews. "Thank you for saving Finn. I did not think you had it in you. At all. Um, would you care to tell me why he was out in a knife-storm?"
"Beats me," The Ice king replied with a shrug. "I was just heading over to see you and found him on the ground. Looked pretty exhausted though. Like he had been running. Probably needs to work on his cardio. Don't worry Princess, this will never happen again, we'll become work-out buddies." His face suddenly scrunched up, as if he was forgetting something terribly important before snapping into realization. "Oh, and when do I get my reward kiss?"
"Okay, give him a medal of some kind and get him out of my sight before he gets maple syrup all over me," Princess Bubblegum finally snapped, violently pointing towards the door. The Banana Guards in the room immediately grabbed and escorted the king, who began to mutter that a medal wasn't half bad.
Then, with a much more sullen face, the Princess turned her gaze back towards her hero, and sighed in pain. "Oh, Finn. How did this happen? Thank Glob you're okay… I have to let Jake know." With that, she whipped out her cellular device, dialing Lady Rainicorn's number.
After about an hour of moping, Marceline decided that she needed to get on the move again. Finn would most likely be nowhere near her by now, and had hopefully turned back. Either way, it seemed to be less sunny outside, making it optimal for travel. And she hated the dank, dark cave with all her heart guts by now, though she had barely spent any time in it whatsoever.
Gathering her belongings once more, she slowly lifted-off, seeing no point in rushing. That was, until a metal object whizzed in front of her face.
"Sheesh, really?" The Vampire queen spat, avoiding the incoming barrage of steel with exquisite ease. "Not like I'm surprised, but if the world thinks a few fluffin' knives are going to make today worse, it has no idea."
Marceline turned to avoid the storm's path, but immediately halted, her eyes tracing the angle of the torrent of sharpness. She was no meteorologist, but if she wasn't mistaken… Marceline's heart never beat, but in moments like this, that feeling became even more omni-present. Finn would have been caught right in the storm's eye based on where he had been running. And the eye of a knife-storm isn't calm like a regular one; the knives are just on fire.
The imagine of a shiskabob'd and flaming Finn filling her mind despite her protests, Marceline sped forward at a speed she hadn't reached in a century. After a few moments, a scent that usually caused only arousal within her, but now brought fear struck her nose. That of blood.
It barely took her anytime to reach the site of the red liquid in question, her body magnetized to the smell. Marceline limply dropped to the ground, walking slowly over to a small puddle of blood and a few still-evaporating knives, the steel and iron breaking up into small particles and returning to that great magnet in the sky.
The lack of Finn was odd, but that small detail brought little hope to her; there was more than enough blood on the ground to ensure that wherever he was, he was critically injured. Because he had chased her. Because of her. Finn was most likely lying somewhere, dying, because of her.
"Glob. Damn. It." Marceline hissed, smacking the ground with all of her force, leaving a crater the size of a trampoline. As miserable as she felt, she soon raised her head, determined to do everything in her power to find Finn and help him. However, that thought led to confusion; if Finn had wandered off, why was there no trail of blood? He certainly hadn't left via the ground, so that only left the air, and though he had a fondness for jumping off of tall structures, he couldn't fly—
"I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT A SHINY MEDAL!" The Ice King shouted from far above her, Marceline's head snapping back at the sound. Her Vampire-senses tingled (which involved a very bizarre feeling in the appendix), knowing that her old friend and Finn often crossed paths.
"SI — ICE KING!" She screamed, waving her arms and gaining his attention. He quickly dropped, a large and geeky smile etched on his withered face.
"Oh Marcy, you won't believe it!" He said excitedly, running over to her and throwing his arms around her. "Princess Bubblegum gave me a medal for saving Finn! A medal! Ohh, she wants this frosty boy now! I'm going to go online and just SPLURGE on pink items for when she moves in."
"WAIT, hold on!" The Vampire screamed, grabbing her old friend by the shoulders. "You saved Finn!?"
"Oh, yeah!" He replied, giving a thumbs up. "The silly goose was just lying on the ground when I flew by and picked him up. I mean, he had a ton of knives in him already, but I froze the ones that I could and got him to the Candy Kingdom. Then Bubblegum — HEH, SHE'S GREAT ISN'T SHE!?" He lost himself in his dopy imagination for a moment, his thoughts filled with an excess of the color pink and the feeling of chewing a nice piece of gum before shaking back to reality. "Er, she refilled his blood. Somehow. But it's alright, Finn and I are becoming work-out buddies, so he'll be fine in the future."
As per usual with speaking with Simon's lost form, Marceline had to actively work to figure out what was truth and what were insane ruminations. When he finished, though, she felt utterly relieved that it seemed like Finn was alright. That thought was quickly replaced with confusion as to why she now felt sticky, and why a waft of maple syrup was filling her small, pointed nostrils. A glance at the king's mess of a robe gave her an answer she was not hoping for, but somehow that was swallowed in her thankfulness.
"Thanks, Ice King," She whispered, even hugging him again. "I'm proud of you for saving Finn. It… it was my fault that he was in that storm. He was chasing after me." As the tears began to fall from her eyes, even though she knew the man in front of her was no longer the one she had revered, she squeezed tighter, desperate comfort. "I hate it. I hate it that I hurt the people around me no matter what I do."
There was a slight silence before the Ice King, in a quiet, tiny voice that sounded much more akin to Simon Petrikovs's, said, "You've never hurt me, Marceline. Finn's my buddy, but he beats me up all the time. I've known you as long as I can remember, and you've never hurt me at all."
To call Marceline's reaction to her friend's statement emotional would be the greatest understatement she had witnessed in all her time on the world. She clung to him desperately, sobbing harder than she had in years, touched beyond words. "Thank you so much Simon. I love you," She managed to sputter out after a few moments.
"No problemo. I mean, my name is the Ice King, but if calling me Simon makes you feel better, feel free," The wizard replied, patting her tenderly on the back. He always had a fondness for Marceline he really couldn't explain. Parting with her, he said, "Welp, I've got to go change out of this robe and shower… covering your abs in maple syrup wasn't my best idea. Feel better, and if you need a place to hang, come on down to my palace! We'll jam!"
He waved as he flew off, Marceline shaking her head in disbelief as she wiped a tear. "I will someday, Simon… but right now, I have to go. I'm sorry," She whispered. "Thank you for saving Finn… I promise, I will never be around to hurt him again." With that, she began to float away, high into the sky; she had no course in mind, content to let the wind carry her away.
"Thank goodness you are here," Princess Bubblegum said upon Jake and the Lady's arrival, both anxious and immediately glancing in Finn's direction. The Princess smiled sadly, nodding her head in understanding. "He's doing alright… he should be fine in an hour, thanks to the powers of modern science. But, I have no idea why he…"
"Oh, I know why," Jake interrupted, sighing. If he had looked guilty earlier in the day, he looked downright downtrodden now. "I should have never let him go alone."
"Excuse me?" Bubblegum asked, her interest piqued, a harsh edge to her voice. Yes, she had fended off the boy's advances for the past year, but that didn't mean she didn't care for him deeply, and could be rather hostile to anyone who, even unintentionally, injured her champion. The dog cleared his throat, all eyes in the room on him.
"It all started yesterday," Jake began, recalling the events in his mind. "Finn and I were going to go hang out at Marceline's house, and jam, but I ended up getting their first because Finn was hanging with FP. Anyway, I got there, and one thing led to another and I began to confront Marceline about how secretive she was even though we had pretty much nearly croaked helping her several times. Long story short, she went off the deep end about it, telling me to get out before freaking out, and finally she just collapsed and wouldn't do anything else but cry. It was horrible. She said we couldn't see each other anymore and that if we came around she'd pack up for good."
The dog paused, frowning and looking at his feet. Everyone in the room watched with apt attention, but Bubblegum seemed especially entranced, a mix of emotions on her pink face.
"So then," He continued, "the next day, after we discussed what had happened, Finn decided he should try to see her alone. I agreed and dropped him off because I thought he had a solid plan, but apparently she got away from him and he chased her to the point of exhaustion. I've just been hanging with the Lady until I got your call."
"Jake," the Princess said immediately after the dog finished speaking, a frown now afflicting her own face. "What specifically did Marceline say?"
Jake raised an eyebrow then squinted, trying to bring the scene back into his mind. "Well, he muttered, scratching his chin, "she got a little freaked out when I mentioned her dad, and said that she was going to just wind up hurting us, especially Finn. She mentioned the whole Fry-song too, but I don't know if you know about that. She just seemed depressed. I felt mad awful. What I said seemed to really hurt her…" He trailed off, a tear forming in his eye. He heard a sniffle, and raised his head in surprise to see the Princess crying as well.
"Oh… Marcy…" She whispered, shaking her head. "She's always been like this. The moment she lets someone in close, she rips herself away. Except Finn refused to let her, and it nearly cost him his life." Lady Rainicorn frowned at Bubblegum's words, while Jake looked between the two of them, his face contemplative.
"So, you two do have a sort of past, then?" He asked, and the Princess winced before nodding slowly. "I figured as much, what with the whole Door Lord incident. Do you have any idea where she might be heading off to?"
Bubblegum sighed, staring out the window. "I could make several educated guesses," She whispered, shaking her head. "But honestly? Marceline is a wanderer. She always has been. I can think of numerous places she could be. The best bet we would have is if you find her scent."
Jake nodded, smiling. "That's what Finn and I were planning on doing if talking to her didn't work out."
The Princess tried to share his optimism, but her face fell into a frown. "Jake… I don't know what catching up to her again will do. I mean, I understand that you and Finn don't want to lose a friend, but Marceline… this is how she is. And honestly, you said it yourself, she gets people into danger. It's how she's built."
Jake shared her frown immediately, before it started to deepen. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it and shut it. After another second passed, he said bluntly, "PB, that's crap. Marceline never made us hang around her. Finn did it because he liked her and I did it afterwards when I got over her being a Vampire. She never demanded anything out of us. Period. You sound bitter, and Finn would be disappointed with you even expressing the idea that we should just let a friend seal herself off when it's clear she's dealing with trying stuff."
The Princess and Lady gasped at Jake's full-frontal statement, but were interrupted by a moan. All eyes immediately shifted to Finn, who was slowly moving around in his bed. "M-Marceline, don't go," He whispered, his face clenched in pain. "Please, I can help…"
Everyone in the room felt their heart sink at the boy's innocence and nobility. "Jake, I understand your words," Bubblegum said suddenly, moving over and placing her hand on Finn's head. "And I understand that nothing I can say will stop Finn from trying to help Marceline. It's just… you have to understand my concern. Finn and Marceline are the most stubborn people I have every come across. It's an unstoppable force hitting an immovable object, if you will. I just can't imagine anything but pain being the result."
"He will feel pain in any case from his failure, and she will feel pain from her separation to protect him," Lady Rainicorn said quietly, finally speaking in her Korean tongue. "Bonnibel, I see no other choice than letting Finn continue his efforts while supporting him to the best of our ability."
"MARCELINE!" Finn shot up in his bed the moment the Lady finished speaking, startling most in the room. The boy panted, looking around in confusion at his friends and the medical staff of the Candy Castle. "…Marceline? Aww, we'll I be lumpy shepherd's pie," He muttered as he realized he had failed.
"Hey man, if I wasn't allowed to beat myself up, neither are you," Jake said, patting his friend on the back. "You did everything you could. Heck, you ran so hard you collapsed in the middle of a knife-storm!" Finn's face froze at this news, looking around the room.
"I-I did?" He whispered, in shock. Everyone nodded sadly, Jake squeezing his shoulder.
"The Ice King, by some bizarre stroke of luck, found you," The Princess stated, still barely able to believe the fact herself. "He brought you here, but you were at Death's door. We were so worried."
"Glob, I fluffin' love that movie," Death muttered, standing up and stretching his bones. "Now let's see what moron killed himself this time." He made his way toward his home's door, and opened it to find not a trace of a soul, alive or dead. "Ugh. I hate giving freebies. Whatever, I'll just watch that Beautopia documentary again."
"I'm sorry, ya'll," Finn replied, his voice small, nearly as small as how small Jake could get when he got really small. "I didn't mean to make you worry, Peebles, or you Jake. Does FP know?" Jake shook his head, and Finn sighed. "I'll have to tell her once I get discharged. I didn't mean to put myself in danger, I just… wasn't thinking."
"It's alright, Finn, you were just trying to do the right thing," Princess Bubblegum said cheerfully, rubbing his head, a response that, even if he had moved on from her, she expected would make him smile in return. Instead, his shoulder's drooped.
"I know PB. I just… I'm sorry I made you guys worry. You deserve better," He replied, yet after those words his face hardened and he scooted up on the bed as if to appear taller. "We still need to find Marceline. Jake, when I'm healed up, we'll go to her house and get her scent, deal?"
"Sure thing brother!" Jake replied, his tail wagging so furiously that Lady began to blush and giggle in Korean. "Oh, you think that's something! I'll show you what I can do with this tail later tonight, just you watch!" The dog teased, his lover's blush deepening.
"What tier is that?" Finn whispered in wonder to Bubblegum, who shrugged.
"No clue, I haven't had a tail for awhile," The Princess replied nonchalantly, and Finn raised an eyebrow; Marceline wasn't the only person hiding things, it seemed.
To begin with, I think I could write about the Ice King and only the Ice King for the rest of my life and not get bored. He is a comedy train off the rails, man. Sadly, I don't know if I kept that momentum going through the chapter; at first the change in quality was really apparent, so I worked to fix that and think it came out alright.
Also, this one was a bit longer. The plot is starting to come together I think. Not sure how long this will be, and pretty shortly it's going to become very Marceline/Finn driven (at which point I will violently struggle to stick to the script and not ship them).
Not much else to say besides, would anyone feel uncomfortable having an Ice Cream Cone operate on them? Somehow that has now become a horror scenario for me. Only Adventure Time, lol. Thanks for reading!