The steady beat of the music thrummed through his body as Castiel was jostled around, trying to make his way back to his table. He clutched the two drinks in his hands as if his life depended on it, not wanting to spill a single drop. Once he made it around the dance floor, he gave a small sigh of relief as he sank into his chair.
"Clarence, you look like you just walked through a battlefield." Castiel barely managed to make out the sultry voice of his companion over the noise in the club.
"This was a terrible idea, Meg. Why did you make me come here?" Castiel scowled down out his drink.
The music competition that he had attended with the children was in the same town that Meg lived in. Uriel let him take the week off to visit with her. He was now rethinking if that was such a good idea.
"Don't be grumpy. This is your last night here before heading home. Just loosen up. You're more uptight than you normally are." Meg gave a low laugh before a blonde muscle bound man walked by, diverting her attention for a moment. She threw him a wink and licked her heavily painted lips. The blonde stopped and headed back toward the table but quickly changed his mind after witnessing the ferocious scowl from Castiel.
Meg smiled wistfully as she watched the man walk away. "You know, because you're on this self imposed abstinence kick, doesn't mean you have to drag me down with you."
"That man was just looking for a hook-up. You deserve more than that, Megan."
Meg grimaced at being called Megan. "How do you know that's not all I want? I waited for my prince to come and when he did, he turned out to be gay." She stared at Castiel pointedly.
Castiel leaned forward and purred. "If I wasn't, you wouldn't be able to handle me, sweetheart."
Meg abruptly sat back in her chair, brown eyes wide and speechless for once. Castiel casually took a sip of his drink, trying to keep his laughter to himself.
"What the hell was that? Where's my best friend? Winchester rubbed off on you more than I thought."
And just like that, Castiel's good mood was broken.
"I better go. I have a long drive ahead of me." Castiel stood up, avoiding Meg's stare.
"I'm sorry Cas, please, sit back down." It was more of an order than a request.
Castiel huffed in frustration but sat down anyways. There was silence between them until finally he looked her way and his stomach dropped on the obstinate look on her face.
"I've been patient all week. I want to know what happened between the two of you. Personally, I can't stand Dean, but it's obvious that you love each other. Talk to me."
Before Dean, before Balthazar, it was always Meg. Nobody, especially in high school, could understand how they even tolerated each other let alone had become best friends. He was quiet and unassuming and she was loud and brash. However, they were kindred spirits; both lonely people that instinctively were looking for the same things, only in different ways.
With very little hesitation, he told Meg everything, including about Balthazar, Dean and the soulmate situation.
He had to give her credit; she didn't even blink an eyelash at his fantastical story.
"Okay," she started out thoughtfully, "I'm not going to straight out say I believe what you say is true, but what is important is that I believe that you believe it's true."
Castiel nodded. That was fair.
"Now, hypothetically, saying it's really true…" Castiel jerked in surprise when Meg slapped him across the back of his head.
"Ow, what was that for?" Castiel rubbed the back of his head, glaring at Meg who only shook her head, lips tight in frustration.
"First of all, that's for not telling me! Not just about the whole muse thing, but not picking up the goddamn phone and letting me know how much pain you were in. I'm still pissed that you didn't even think to tell me about your father dying until I came back from Italy. I would have been on the first plane back!"
"That's exactly why I didn't tell you, I didn't want to get you in trouble at your new job."
"Yeah, a job that ended up being shit and I came home anyways. This is exactly why I get frustrated with you sometimes. You want to be needed so badly, but you can't accept the fact that it goes both ways. Did you ever even tell Dean about what happened to you? Did you tell him about your nightmares, about how your father's death still affects you? You're always playing the self-sacrificing martyr. You think you don't need anybody, but you do, more than anybody I know. So, breaking up with Dean, breaking that poor bastard's heart, you keep telling yourself it's for Dean's own good, there's somebody else better than you for him. Bullshit. I think you just tell yourself that but really; you're just terrified at how much you need Dean. I'm sorry Clarence, but you're a coward." Castiel flinched at the sneer Meg sent at him.
"But what about us not being soulmates…?"
"Stop it. You're using it as an excuse. I know next to nothing about the Bible and all that jazz, but didn't God give us all free will? I can't imagine anybody being more perfect for you than Dean. You just need to figure out if he's worth fighting for."
Castiel's insides tightened and his stomach roiled at the thought that he had made a huge mistake. "What do I do?"
"As much as I love you, get your sweet ass out of here and fix it."
Castiel nodded and leaned over to kiss Meg's cheek.
"I love you, Megan." Castiel's lips quirked when he saw Meg's cheeks stained pink.
"Yeah, yeah, love you too, Clarence. Now get the hell out of here."
By the time Castiel got home, it was three in the morning. The entire car ride was spent trying to think of what he could possibly say to Dean and when he wasn't doing that, he was berating himself.
He knew Meg was right. He had believed he was doing the right thing at the time, but now he realized it just made things worse. She was right, Dean was worth fighting for.
However, as he drove into Lawrence, he decided not to wake Dean up to apologize.
The guy needed his sleep.
Okay, so Castiel was scared, but it could wait a few more hours until he could think of the perfect words. He had even tried on calling on Balthazar for advice and also to apologize.
Balthazar never answered.
Castiel finally made it home and was in the midst of opening his apartment door when he heard his name.
"Castiel? What are you doing here? You weren't supposed to be home until tonight!"
Castiel watched as Charlie raced down the stairs in a flurry of tangled red hair, her sleep obviously interrupted.
"I decided to come back early." he bit back a yawn and started to open his door, but somehow Charlie managed to wiggle her body between him and the door.
"Why don't you come up and I'll make you an early breakfast." Charlie's voice was high pitched and nervous. He narrowed his eyes at her.
"No, that's okay, I'm just going to go to bed now." Castiel waited for her to move but she just bit her lip and hardened her stance.
"Really, you weren't supposed to be back until tonight." she grumbled.
"What is going on, Charlie?" he asked in exasperation.
Her shoulders slumped and she moved out of his way. "It was going to be a surprise."
He sighed and finally opened the door. "What was going to be a surp-" Castiel words came to an abrupt halt when he entered the living room.
In the place that his grandmother's piano had sat, was a new one. It was very similar to the one he had. He walked slowly toward the piano, his fingers testing the keys gently. A small tinkling noise followed in their wake.
"Dean wanted to be here when you go home. I'm sorry, but he had to do work here while you were gone and I spilled about what happened to your piano. The bench…" She pointed to the bench in front of piano that didn't quite match the piano itself. It was a warmer color with chips of ivory that adorned the corners. "…he tracked down where you salvaged your grandmother's piano and made the bench for you with pieces of the wood and the keys. That way your grandmother's legacy wasn't completely gone."
Castiel got down on his knees, inspecting the craftsmanship of the bench, running his hand over it lovingly. He swallowed roughly. "Dean did this? For me?"
Charlie crouched down with him and swung an arm around his shoulders. "Yeah. According to Sam, he was up day and night, working on this so it would be finished in time. He sure loves you a lot. Whatever's going on between the two of you, fix it."
Castiel nodded blindly, he couldn't stop stroking the wood of the bench. Dean still loved him and all of a sudden, waiting for the perfect words seemed silly. He was filled with adrenaline as he jumped up. "I got to go."
Charlie seemed to know where he was going to go. "Tell Dean hi for me." she smiled as Castiel rushed from the apartment, not even bothering to close the door behind him.
Thump, thump, thump.
Dean groaned and buried his face in his pillow.
Thump, thump, thump.
"Damn it," he growled as he looked over at his clock that read nearly a quarter to four in the morning.
He gave his pillow one last squeeze before getting up. He didn't even bother putting on any pants. If somebody was going to wake Dean Winchester up in the middle of the night, they were going to have to deal with t-shirt, boxer briefs and messy hair.
Thump, thump, thump.
"Goddamn it, I'm coming!" he called out.
When he reached the door, the person on the other side had started pounding again. "For the love of God, this better be good." he yanked open the door to see the last person he expected standing there, hand raised to knock again.
"Cas?" Dean drank in the sight of Castiel's rumpled appearance. His hair was wild as if he had been yanking at it and the trench coat he was wearing to ward off the slight chill in the night air was wrinkled. His blue eyes shone brightly, almost feverishly as he seemed to be doing the same with taking in Dean's appearance.
Now Dean really wished he took time to brush his hair and put on some pants.
"May I come in?" Castiel asked lowly, his eyes moving away from his to look down at the ground as if he had a sudden interest in his shoes.
Dean invited him in, heart beating fast the entire time, and led him to the living room. Once he got Castiel settled on the couch, he asked him if he wanted something to drink.
"No, I'm fine, I wanted to talk to you." Castiel breathed out.
"It couldn't wait until morning?" Now he really wished he put on pants, he didn't want to have a heart to heart in his underwear. Then a sudden thought came to him.
"Why are you home so early? Have you been back to your apartment yet?"
"I've been visiting with Meg all week and tonight she convinced me how much of an assbutt I am. I needed to come home right away."
Dean snorted at Castiel calling himself an assbutt and tamped down viciously on the hope building in his chest.
"I saw what you did for me. It's beautiful. I saw it and I knew I couldn't wait to see you. God, I don't even know where to begin to make things right again. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was so miserable and then I realized how scared I was. I'm so sorry, Dean…" Dean leaned forward and cutting off Castiel's rambling with a soft kiss.
Dean pulled back just enough to look into Castiel's eyes, lips still hovering. "That's a start."
Castiel's eyes widened, his breath picked up and suddenly Dean had a lapful of Castiel.
"I love you so much, I'm an idiot." Castiel mumbled as he kissed and sucked at Dean's jaw line.
Dean worked on Castiel's coat, tossing it away that was soon followed by his shirt. He was working on the fastenings of Castiel's jeans. "Yeah Cas, you are an idiot, but you're my idiot. Now stand up."
Castiel got up on shaky legs as Dean pulled down his jeans, lifting up each of Castiel's feet one at a time so he could step out of them. Dean then got up from the couch, quick divested himself from his t-shirt and boxers and gently nudged Castiel to kneel on the couch, chest against the back cushions.
Dean's mouth ran down the strong length of Castiel's back, nibbling at the base of his spine. Castiel moaned and bucked back, Castiel's perfect ass in his face. Dean couldn't resist, his hands went to the globes of Castiel's ass and spread him apart.
"What are you doing, Dean?" Castiel asked nervously, his voice breathy.
"I'm about to show you how much I've missed you." Dean leaned forward and all but devoured him, licking and lapping at Castiel's entrance, causing the man to cry out.
Dean tortured him, working Castiel open slowly with his tongue and fingers until he was a sobbing, pleading mess.
"Dean, please, I need you." Castiel's voice was hoarse. One of Dean's hands slid across Castiel hip and around until he had Castiel firmly in hand, finding him hard and leaking. Dean's own cock gave a painful twitch, wanting to be in Castiel badly.
"Patience. I want you good and open for me because once I'm inside, it's going to be hard to be gentle."
Castiel looked over his shoulder at Dean, his eyes incredulous. "Gentle is not what I need. I want to feel you for days, Dean."
Dean's breath caught and his dick throbbed as he removed his fingers and quickly lined himself up.
He did as Castiel asked. He was not gentle. Castiel was so tight and hot around him as he thrust hard into him. Castiel's fingers were white knuckling the back of the couch, but his moans were filled with pleasure, spurring him on. Dean leaned forward, covering Castiel's back with his chest while he slid his hands on top of Castiel's.
Dean thrust deep and fast, nosing at Castiel's jaw as the man made broken, incoherent sounds. When he finally turned his face toward Dean's, Dean took his mouth to capture those sounds, nipping and sucking at Castiel's parted mouth.
"Harder," Castiel bucked back, trying to take more of Dean's cock, squeezing around him as he did so. Dean felt his eyes roll back at the unexpected sensation. Dean bit roughly at Castiel's shoulder before grabbing his hips and piston in and out of Castiel hard and fast. The room was filled with sounds of wet slapping flesh, moans and grunts.
Dean felt himself tighten up, his orgasm impeding embarrassingly fast, but it had been so long and it was Castiel.
"Dean, I'm so close…" Castiel panted out as he continued to buck back into Dean's thrusts. Dean's hand went back to Castiel's cock and started stripping it hard and fast while slightly changing his position from behind. Dean knew he found Castiel's prostate when the man seized up and gave a guttural groan before coming messily over Dean's hand. A couple of more hard thrusts and Dean was following.
As they panted from breath, Dean feathered kisses over Castiel's neck and shoulders. He knew they weren't completely out of the woods yet, that they still needed to talk, but his hope was strong that they were going to work through their issues and come out fine.
And that was a start.
And that concludes the rest of the angst for this story. This story is almost over and I'll try my best to tie up any loose ends, but if there is something you'd like to see before this is all over, tell me. I'll do my best to incorporate it into the story.
Thanks again for the lovely reviews, follows and favorites. They mean the world to me. :D