Chapter 5: Je suis un menteur

McGarrett House

Steve sat in his dad's old chair in the living room watching the television because when he tried to fall asleep, he kept tossing and turning. It was almost one in the morning and his mind was swimming with questions about so many different things. Firstly, he found a red tool box with "champ" written on it and his final conversation with his dad, Jack had called him that despite not ever having a term of endearment for Steve. He figured it was a clue, but to what? What did his dad want him to know? Why couldn't he have told Steve any of this when he had to leave the island?

Then, Steve couldn't help but think of his sister, Mary Anne. The last image he had of her was when she was young. He remembered her holding a pink backpack, clutching the straps as if her life depended upon it and looking up at Steve who was trying to tell her that they would see each other soon... that was probably the biggest lie he ever told. To this day Steve couldn't understand why their father sent them to opposite ends of the U.S and even though he didn't want to admit it, or even think about it, it hurt. Because of the move, Steve despised his senior year of high school and he questioned whether his dad really ever did love him or not. He even started to question if Mary cared about the family; she hadn't shown up at the funeral.

Finally there was Alexandra. Despite everything that was going on, he couldn't stop thinking of her. He was able to tell what his new partner and Chin were feeling in a matter of minutes just by examining their facial expressions and actions, yet whenever he tried to construe what the young nurse was thinking about he hit a dead end. An air of mystery surrounded her, an enormous wall constructed of the world's toughest bricks separated her from everybody else. However, he believed that he may have had some sort of connection with her. The evening he spent with her at Josef's was quite revealing. He saw, in her eyes, love for her family and that alone told Steve she trusted him enough to see that side of her. She was no longer the ice queen he saw at St. Michael's Church, but the old Alexandra. Although this was a milestone, there still seemed to be a few of those bricks in the way, which gave Steve an uncomfortable feeling that something wasn't right. What type of trouble could she have gotten in? He didn't think he would find out the truth, even if he asked on the upcoming evening they would spend together.

The sound of the waves crashing on the shore in the backyard caught Steve's attention for a while. The rushing water seemed to calm him. The unrequited problems faded as his eyes closed. With each breath his limbs felt more like led and he was internally debating about whether or not it was worth wasting his energy on running upstairs to his bed. He finally stood up from his chair, turned off the TV and slowly headed for the stairs. He needed to sleep in his own bed; the team was going to infiltrate Sang Min's gang and he had to be wide awake in order for that to go smoothly. Besides he would have never fallen into a deep slumber if his television kept playing reruns of shows he hated.

Task Force Headquarters

Alexandra pulled Max's old Mustang into the parking lot belonging to the government building which served as the team's headquarters. It was six thirty in the morning; she was early, considering that everyone agreed the workday would start when the clock struck seven. She thought of the last few days, she was re-introduced to Kono who looked as stunning as ever and was able to learn more about the people she was working with, at least until she had to leave.

Her eyes scanned over the parking lot and, coincidentally, saw that Steve was stepping out of his new truck. A few days ago she had to wave a white flag, admit that she never had gotten over the sailor who broke her heart so many years ago. She glanced at her reflection in the rearview mirror to make sure she didn't look ridiculous because, as much as she didn't want to declare it, Alexandra actually tried on her appearance today because it was already Friday. She straightened her hair when she woke up and put on a casual, white dress with a navy floral print that reached about half an inch above her knees. The only thing that slightly worried her, were her shoes; she was forced to put on converse sneakers because her lack of having any other style of shoe.

She grabbed her purse from the passenger's seat, took a deep breath and opened the car door.

You're working; remember that, she warned herself as she walked towards the building. You're here to do the job, go on the only date you'll have with Steve where you'll have to tell him the truth and then go back to Langley.

"I see I'm not the only one who comes in early," she remarked when she was passing his truck.

"I didn't think anyone else would be here," Steve replied, holding a red tool box.

"As I am a servant of the law, handpicked by none other than a valiant commander, I see no reason to laze away my morning only to be greeted by a pile of work in the afternoon," Alexandra explained herself, not noting that she was talking faster and in a more sarcastic tone.

She looked up and saw that Steve bore an expression of bewilderment.

"You should have been an orator," Steve jested.

"Just ignore me," she remarked jokingly as they approached the doors of the building. "Why do you have a tool box?"

"My dad left it to me," he replied. "In his last moments he kept calling me champ, but he's never called me that before in my life."

Steve held up the toolbox and tapped the side, on which there was a sticker that used to say "champion", but now only said champ because someone scratched off the last three letters.

"So you think that he wanted you to find this?"

"I think he was investigating something that nobody else knew about and stored everything in here, but I don't know what any of it means," Steve explained as he opened the door.

"Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that your workday begins at seven," a familiar voice interrupted their stride.

She turned around only to be greeted by the sight of her CIA colleague, Derek, standing in front of her. Alexandra suddenly felt uncomfortable by the fact that he just came, without calling her or giving her a heads up. Not only would Steve jump to conclusions, but what if someone else saw him? Someone like Vlotkovsky? It wouldn't only mean the end for Alexandra, but for Derek too because he would be considered loose ends.

"Wonderful that you should show up," Alexandra began, feeling annoyance spring up. "unannounced."

"Alexandra, who is this?" Steve asked letting go of the door.

"My dear!" Derek interposed sarcastically. "You haven't told the commander about me? I am deeply hurt! First you abandon me, leave me to a macabre lecture from Olsen. Then I fly here only to learn I haven't even been thought about?"

Alexandra rolled her eyes at her colleagues feigned astonishment, "I'm sure you're fine."

"Fine-"

"You know this guy?" Steve questioned , making Alexandra feel ashamed for not introducing her friend to him.

"Steve, this is," she broke off, not knowing what to say.

"Oh it's okay, comrade. I'm Derek Falconer, her partner at the agency," he informed.

"The agency?" Steve pried.

"The Central Intelligence Agency," Derek revealed as he extended his hand towards Steve, making Alexandra want to kill herself.

Why, in the name of God, did she have to end up with a partner as dimwitted as Derek?

She glimpsed at Steve who had a confused look on his face. His confusion comforted Alexandra because it meant he wasn't angry…yet.

"I think I underestimated you, comrade," Derek remarked to Alexandra, still extending his hand. "You haven't blown your secret in the short time you've been here."

"I want to know what is going on," Steve demanded looking at Alexandra who, now, had become very weak in the knees.

Task Force Headquarters

"Derek, I think you should stand outside," Alexandra suggested, tugging at her dress, which now annoyed her.

"Yeah, Derek, stand over there," Steve ordered as she stepped into his office.

When he closed the door, Alexandra bit her lip as she thought of how to explain her real profession. She tried to avoid eye contact with the intimidating, yet handsome, SEAL also.

"Avoiding eye contact with me isn't helping you," he stated as she sighed nervously.

"I don't really know where to begin," Alexandra finally said.

"Why don't I ask you questions and you answer them for me?" Steve suggested standoffishly as she nodded in agreement.

"Why was the FBI here yesterday?" was Steve's first question.

"The FBI agent who was here yesterday introduced himself as David Harris-"

"That's not answering my question-"

"But," Alexandra interrupted Steve, defensively. "His real name is David Vlotkovsky, a Russian assassin who I think is trying to kill me."

"Why is he trying to kill you?"

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't know. Up until yesterday I thought he was a part of the FBI!"

"Okay then," Steve said, leaning on his desk. "Are you a nurse?"

"I've been put through college to be a nurse by the CIA, but after I received my degree I was bored. I spent all my time in a small clinic in DC, so I was talked into working covert operations," she explained.

"By who?"

Her eyes darted up at Steve, she didn't want to say because it was Max and thinking of him would lead to thinking of That Day.

"Can we skip that question?" she asked in an almost inaudible tenor as memories of That Day flooded her mind

"So you work for the CIA?"

"Yeah," Alexandra replied trying not to think of the day her brother died. The guilt gnawed at her insides whenever she thought of it. It was her fault Max died, she was supposed to be not only his partner, but his sister. She failed both roles and couldn't even find his body.

"Why are you here?" Steve questioned indifferently, the cheerful, gentle tone was gone, replaced with a cold, unemotional robot.

Alexandra glanced up at him, she stared into his eyes which, in spite of his harsh tone, made her feel safe and wanted.

"I came for the funer-"

"No, that was days ago," he interrupted her. "Why are you still here?"

"I found a reason to stay," she answered, whole heartedly thinking of her family and of Steve.

She couldn't explain why she was suddenly so drawn in by him. They've only spent a few days together and she knew she shouldn't do this to herself, especially after what happened last time. Everything about the commander, though, made her heart race. It was all gone now because she ruined any type of friendship they had.

Steve's Office

Steve didn't know how to react to the sequence of events that have occurred minutes ago. Alexandra was a spy? A spy? How did she plan on telling him that bit of news? On their date later today? He glanced at her. Someone was trying to kill her and she hadn't told him about it. What did that tell him? It told him she didn't trust him and that hurt.

The nurse-no, spy- was sitting in one of the chairs in his office looking at her feet. Steve didn't know what he hated more, the fact that she lied to him or that she didn't trust him.

"You lied to me," he finally said, trying to ignore the pained expression on her face.

"What choice did I have?" Alexandra shot back suddenly; it was the most heated she had gotten whilst he questioned her.

Steve couldn't believe her. What choice did she have? Whatever connection they had after supper at her brother's house a few nights ago seemed now like nothing. Did this woman not care that he had a heart too? Why couldn't she just trust him, let him in on whatever was going on in her head?

"Alexandra," he began with a sick sensation in his stomach (was her really about to divulge how he felt to her?). "I've never given done anything to make you distrust me. You just left Hawaii with Max one night. You didn't even say goodbye to me. For six years I wished I knew why and then you come back and lead me to believe that you trust me."

He paused for a second after he saw the hurt look on her face which he could no longer ignore.

"I do trust you," she whispered.

"Then why wouldn't you tell me the single most important thing that is happening in your life?" he lost his temper.

"Maybe, if I didn't have to see you practically swallow Catherine's face I wouldn't have felt so hurt!" she shouted, quickly standing up and storming out of his office leaving him shocked and confused.

Steve only saw her wave to her colleague and run out of headquarters. He sighed and counted to ten, hoping it would help alleviate the stress and anger that built up within him. Whoever came up with counting to ten was a complete psychopath and Steve wished he could strangle the psychopath.

About ten minutes later Steve was standing by the tabletop computer looking at photos of Sang Min, but not actually thinking about them as Danny walked inside with Chin and Kono.

"He looks about as happy as me when I dropped my malasada this morning," he heard Danny whisper.

"I heard that," Steve grumbled out as the trio reached the computer.

"Shame, I was 'kinda hoping that I wouldn't have to hear about how you mistakenly put two spoons of sugar in your coffee instead of one," Danny remarked.

"I don't put sugar in my coffee," Steve retaliated defensively.

"Maybe you should, you wouldn't be such an android when you wake up."

"Android?"

"I lift things up and put them down-"

"I'm guessing it's going to be a long day," Kono interrupted the argument, officially ending it.

"I second that," Chin supported his cousin's comment.

"When's Alexandra coming in?" Kono asked Steve as she swiped her fingers and glanced at the pictures of Sang Min. "I don't want to be torn up on the battle field, assuming Sang Min isn't as dumb as he looks."

Steve didn't know how to answer Kono's question. He didn't want to tell them Alexandra was a spy, but he also wanted them to be angry at her like he was. Angry at her for lying to them, for making them think she could trust them and for stabbing them in the heart… maybe not the last two parts, but definitely for lying.

"I don't think she is coming in," Steve informed.

He saw Chin turn his head with a "what happened" look on his face while Danny immediately let out a short snort of a laugh.

"What happened, Commander Grimace? You shot her and she got angry?"

"Danny," Chin shushed nodding his head as a way of telling Danny to leave for a few minutes.

The short, blonde detective put his hands up in defeat and didn't say another word.

"So why isn't she coming in?" Kono questioned. "Did you say something to her?"

Steve glanced at Kono, but he didn't want to say anything. He wanted to just bury this, forget about it and just live how he had been living the past few years.

"Let's get Sang Min first," Steve ordered.

The Mustang

"I can tell you're angry," Derek remarked as Alexandra laughed mockingly.

"What gave it away? Was it the present scowl on my face or that I nearly killed the man who I thought I was going to end up with since high school!" Alexandra screamed, trying to control the speed she was driving the Mustang at.

"Would option c, a little of both, fit the answer to the great mystery?" Derek asked.

Alexandra glared at him, restraining herself from saying something completely insensitive.

"I'm sorry, blondie," her friend apologized after a short pause. "I needed to see you."

"A phone call beforehand would have been nice!"

"Listen, listen! You're going to drive past your house!" Derek shouted just as the ear splitting screech of the breaks made itself audible. "You're being reckless, verging on psychotic with a hint of sadistic."

"I don't care anymore, Derek!" Alexandra revealed. "I just hate everything my life has turned out to be, I say I'm a faithful Catholic and yet I lie to people, people I love. I don't trust anyone anymore and I'm just scared of everything, Derek. I want a life, for once, I just want to be a regular woman who falls in love, gossips with friends, cries over a sad movie."

"Blondie, you stand out from everyone and that's why you're special."

"I hate it-"

"This is about Steve isn't it?" the agent asked as a car behind the Mustang started to honk.

Alexandra rolled her eyes as she rolled her car up a few feet and turned into her driveway.

"He really hates me now," she said realizing how screwed up her life truly was. "I was finally thinking that something normal could happen and of course I had to-"

"If it is supposed to be true love," Derek said. "It will be true love."

Alexandra felt no more anger towards Derek, he had successfully calmed her down. She put her car in park, stepped out of the old Mustang and headed towards her stairs with Derek closely following her.

"Why are you here?" Alexandra asked as she opened the door, turned around and walked inside, backwards.

"I needed to tell you something," he disclosed as his eyes widened, making Alexandra a little confused.

She knew her house wasn't the greatest with its emptiness, but he didn't need to be so rude about it!

"What?" she asked turning around to be greeted by the sight of a string of French words, "Revanche salue le menteur", meaning revenge greets the liar, painted on her wall. "oh."

"Blondie, that, is what I came here about," Derek informed in a serious tone closing the door behind him.