We sat there for an hour or so before Parker arrived and joined us, he nodded to the others who said they would see us on shift tonight and joined us on the couch where Spike was rubbing a massive bruise on my lower leg – it was spectacular and one of the only bits of damage to my body – okay, apart from the cheese grater like wound to my forehead!

Greg looked at me and ran his hands over his face and head, he was stressed and I was shamed again – why the hell was it always me to make people so stressed out – was I that much of a problem?

"I know how Spike felt last night; he was terrified of losing you and is now coping due to the fact that by a miracle you are still alive. I need to know how you are feeling, how you're handling the events – and issues?"

I took a deep sigh and put down my mug of tea; I looked at both men and nodded at the painkillers I had been given last night.

"I knew what I had to do last night because it was a PC that blew me out the building in the desert; thankfully this time there was a softer surface when I landed and I knew I could deal with it. Spike, you could do nothing for me last night – those charges are impossible to diffuse, you need to let them blow."

"I could have tried something, given you at least a minute to get out of range – but you decided to move and dive off a board into solid standing water and get knocked out – you could have drowned Mac!" he replied softly.

"I know and I am sorry, but past experiences with those devices meant I was the expert on what to do – apart from a couple of bruises and a bumped head….i will be healed in a week or so and I am fully fit for work once my shift starts as long as I don't get dizzy or my headache gets worse. I understand your worry and I fully respect the trauma you went through with Lou – but this was different and I am safe!" I replied cuddling into Spike.

He was still pale but less shaky than earlier on and Parker looked a lot less concerned than last night from what I remember; he watched us together, how we backed each other up emotionally and mentally – he smiled as I was pulled backwards and hugged onto Spike's knee.

"Okay, I think my job here is done this glorious morning and I want out of here before you start making 'mushy eyes' at each other! Only if you are well enough you can work tonight alright and I will have Steve there to do a full physical before you even change – agreed?"

I nodded and grinned as I was squeezed tighter and Parker waved to us as he left, I leaned back against him and wiggled closer.

"Back to bed, I'm not finished with you yet!" he ordered.

I grinned and pulled him upstairs without complaint and slammed the door shut with a laugh as I started to strip us both.

We arrived at work that night in a mid of flurry from the other teams getting sent on a call and our team arriving, looks like we had some OT coming up tomorrow! We headed in to the SRU main office and I got asked about a million questions and numerous slaps across the head by other team members on duty. We split up and headed to get changed and meet up in the gym to do some exercises and I said I would be a few minutes while I went and hung my dress uniform in the locker room to ease the crinkles out of it and spotted Sam's uniform in the steam room too. I had forgotten about the interview tomorrow and realised that I would be doing a three day shift by the time the traveling was done – oh well – back to basics again!

I headed through to the briefing room with some of the goodies I had baked yesterday and put them in the middle of the table, I laughed at the image of the morning yesterday and how that day ended – fingers crossed I was not going to repeat that day! Everyone started to come into the gym around 7pm and they saw Spike and me on the treadmills doing a joint workout to some really heavy music, we were both well into the training exercise and I had my eyes closed again, completely into the zone again! They watched as I ran fluidly on the treadmill, Spike was keeping up with me and was focused on the spot on the wall – they could all see this was the excess emotion coming out of us and left us to our own devices.

"Good to see that they both keep each other centred, I nearly died seeing him like that again last night – far too close!" Jules whispered.

"Yeah, still don't get what they see in each other though – he all geeky with combat skills and her – she's just the female embodiment of Braveheart – who would have guessed that one night watching a DVD, would bring this!"

I was hitting the treadmill hard and overheard the conversation, I looked to the side and saw Spike grinning at me – I grinned back and winked.

It was a quiet night thankfully with no callouts; everyone was bored silly apart from those of us who had research to do or was tinkering around with their toys in the range and labs. I had just completed the full accident report and had it signed by the Commander, he was pissed off due to the massive hole in the building but knew it wasn't our fault and just called on the builders to get it fixed quickly as possible.

About 5am I was standing against the wall looking at the damage the PC made of the pool; chunks of masonry and light fixtures had blown everywhere and the top diving platform was half missing. The PC that took me out was less powerful than the one in Afghan but what worried me even more was that a full shipment of munitions and ordnance had disappeared from the military base at Dalzell and we were just finding it out! I had a good suspicion on who had taken it, but that meant I was walking straight into a trap that could prove fatal.

I jumped slightly when a hand went onto my shoulder and gently shook me, I turned around to find Wordy looking at me with concern; I smiled and turned to face him and he handed me a bottle of water and some painkillers.

"Spike said it was time for your meds – how do you feel?"

"I'm good Wordy; still have a headache but it's not any worse than before and my vision is good too. Everything alright with you?" I replied swallowing my pills.

He leaned against the door frame and shook his head; I motioned to the seats by the pool and clicked off our comms we were made to wear today.

"Kevin, what's going on in your head?" I whispered.

"That was Lou all over again for everyone, one of the worst days of my life and I have had some of them with the SRU and Police; Spike was nearly destroyed that day both physically, emotionally and mentally; he then relived every moment of it…"

He was holding back and he knew I saw that he was, I reached out and he leaned back slightly before taking a breath and controlling himself.

"I know it was traumatic; if I didn't have to do what I did last night then I would have prepared everyone better. I know it was horrific…." I started to reply.

His eyes snapped up to me and he stood up violently from his chair, his emotions written across his face as he paced the small area we were in.

"You don't know, you don't know cause you weren't there seeing the day turn into a nightmare and we had to watch as one of our friends committed suicide to save his closest friend – to see Spike scream for hours as he dealt with his emotions in a very public area! How could you possibly know?" he replied angrily.

I stood up and kicked back my own chair; he had a point that I wasn't there, but I had witnessed my own horrors and they were traumatic to me; what he didn't know is that I was sent more than one of those video messages to my private email account – they haunted me.

"I know because I was sent the footage of that day, I heard the screams and they join my nightmares every night! I know what that day was like because I watched as a friend committed suicide with my weapon in front of me seconds before I was blown up. I know what it is like because last night was the second time I have been blown up by a Propelling Charge – but this time I didn't lose anyone!" I said back.

The doors beside us opened and Ed ran in with Sam to find me standing up and facing Wordy; I was keeping my temper in check as I knew he was stressed about seeing his friend in danger and the events of last night – but his comments were just wrong.

"What the hell are you guys doing – the echoes go right around the lower level and we heard most of it! Wordy, head back to the gym with Spike!" he ordered.

I looked at him with tears in my eyes and then down to the floor to count in my head to get rid of the tears; the door closed and Ed stood in front of me, trying to give me the 'glare of death'.

"Alright Mackenzie listen up! We are going to go have a talk with Sarge and you are going to let us see the videos you were sent; you are obviously shielding us from them and you promised honesty to us….I don't want you to talk right now!" he said stopping me.

"Grab your water and we are going for a chat and you are ordered by your team leader and Sarge to disclose all Intel you received – do I make myself clear?" he continued.

I looked up and him and nodded.

"Perfectly Sir!" I replied as I headed out the room.