How could he be so stupid? How could Sam have done something so goddamn stupid? Dean paced in the hall outside of Sam's room. He watched Gabriel sitting next to Sam, holding his hand, and wished none of this were happening. He should've known Sam wasn't alright. Well, he knew the kid was hurting, but not so fucked up that he'd do something like this. He should've known. When had he and Sam stopped being open with each other? Sam should've told him about Luci, and he should've told him something, anything, that could've prevented this. Dammit, he should've known. Dean slid to the ground in the hospital hallway against the wall and pressed his fingers to his eyes to stop any tears from falling. Dammit, Sammy.

He felt Cas wrap his arms around him suddenly. It felt like Cas was keeping him from breaking.

"Jo's taking Benny and Balth home. Charlie and Dorothy are opting to sleep in the waiting room," Cas said quietly.

Dean barely heard what he said. Slowly, he nodded.

"Do you want to stay here?" Cas asked.

Dean looked at Cas with red eyes. "I can't leave my brother, Cas," he said.

Cas hugged him tightly. He whispered, "I know. You don't have to."

Dean clung onto Cas and tried to steady his breathing. This could not be happening.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Cas gently rubbed his back and said, "Do you want me to stay?"

Dean sat up quickly and stared at Cas, disregarding any tears he might be showing his boyfriend. "Of course I want you to stay. Why wouldn't I?" he said.

Cas shrugged, "It seems like just family is staying the night…and Gabriel." Dean sighed shakily, trying to fight any more tears. He couldn't just break down like this. He had to be strong for Sam.

"Cas," he said, "You're family. You're not just my family. You're Sam's family. And Charlie's and Dorothy's. Stay."

Dean looked over towards Sam's room.

Cas murmured, "Okay. You want to get up off the floor? Maybe we can get you a new shirt from the gift shop that doesn't have blood on it?" Dean nodded slowly and stood up with Cas. He could use a clean shirt.

"I don't want to leave," Dean said quietly. If Sam woke up while he was in the gift shop, he'd never forgive himself.

Cas put a hand on Dean's shoulder, "Okay. I'll get you a shirt. It'll just take a minute."

Dean nodded and walked over to the window. Sam was just laying there. His heart monitor was steady, so that was good. Cas left without a word. Sam had to be okay. Dean failed Sam once with Luci, and he failed him again by not seeing what was happening with Sam. This couldn't be it. Sam had to be okay. He had to wake up.

"You want to come in?" Gabriel asked from the doorway.

Dean nodded. Gabriel looked as broken as Dean felt. Goddammit, Sammy.

He followed Gabriel into the room. Gabriel dropped back down into the hospital chair and sighed.

"How are you doing?" Dean asked softly. Sam's heart monitor beeped steadily as Gabriel shot Dean a tired look. His eyes were red, and he looked like hell.

"How do you think?" Gabriel answered. Dean looked over at Sam. His brother seemed to be the only one remotely relaxed, but that was not a good thing.

"Do you need anything?" Dean asked.

Gabriel shook his head and stared at Sam, "I just need him."

"How'd you fall for him?" Dean asked after a moment, sitting on the edge of Sam's bed. Gabriel tried at a laugh.

"Are you really asking me about this now?" he asked. Dean just looked at Sam.

"He never told me," Dean said. Just one more thing Sam didn't tell him. He used to know everything about that kid, but now? Now, it felt like he couldn't be further from his brother.

"He doesn't know," Gabriel answered, "And now I might not get to tell him." Gabriel's voice broke sharply as he tried not to cry. Dean looked at his brother's friend. The pain in Gabriel's face ripped Dean apart.

"You don't have to tell me," Dean said quietly. He didn't want to cause any more pain. He just wanted his brother back.

Gabriel sighed and composed himself enough to say, "Someone should know, I guess."

Dean waited for him to continue. For a while there was only the beeping of the heart monitor.

"I met Sam after one of his bad days with Luci. I got him to open up to me. Privilege of being a non-biased party, I guess," Gabriel said, "But when he decided to open up to me again, not as a stranger but as a friend, I knew I was in trouble. He showed me his bruises and his ankle and all the rest of it. I fixed him up the best I could, but seeing him like that hurt. And I knew I cared about him a lot more than I should've if it hurt that bad. The rest of that week solidified any feelings I had for him."

Dean nodded slowly. He remembered that week. He hadn't seen Sam so happy in a long time, not that he got to see much of Sam that week at all.

"I can't thank you enough for what you did for my brother," Dean said.

"You don't have to. I'd do anything for him," Gabriel said, "I will do anything for him. Whatever he needs, whatever he wants, I'll do it." Dean stood up and put a hand on Gabriel's shoulder.

He said, "It'll be okay." There was a part of Dean that didn't believe that, but he had to say something to help, something to keep himself hanging in there. Gabriel pressed his fist to his lips in an effort to keep his fragile composure. He nodded in response to Dean's words and returned to staring at Sam.

Dean walked back out in the hallway so Gabriel could have some privacy. Cas had been gone a while. Dean took another look at Sam through the window. He decided to go check on Cas. Sam would be fine. He had to be. Dean headed over to the gift shop. He could use a distraction.

But when he got there, Cas was gone. He had to be around there somewhere. He wouldn't have just left. He wouldn't have just- Dean heard a small sniffle. He followed the sound and found Cas kneeling on the ground.

"Cas?" Dean asked.

Cas looked up at him with wet eyes. "The gift shop isn't open," he said quietly. A tear fell from Cas' eye and dropped on his lap. His face crumpled into sobs.

Dean dropped next to his boyfriend and held him against his chest.

"I'm sorry," Cas choked, "I just-" Dean held onto Cas like he was trying to keep the breaking pieces of both of them together. It was hard to be strong while trying not to shatter.

"It's okay," Dean whispered in Cas' ear.

Cas sobbed against Dean's chest, and Dean had no idea how to help.

When Cas was able to collect himself a bit, he sat back from Dean and wiped at his eyes.

"It's just...why would he do this?" Cas asked. Cas started to cry again, and Dean hugged him.

"I don't know," Dean said, "He's going to be okay, Cas."

Cas stared up at him blearily, "We don't know that. He should be awake by now. He should..." Cas' voice shook terribly. Dean rubbed Cas' back, trying anything he could to soothe his boyfriend.

"He shouldn't be in here at all," Cas said with a steadier tone.

Dean nodded, "I know. But he's going to be okay. We have to believe that, even if..."

He blinked hard trying not to cry again. Sam would be fine. He would be okay. Dean couldn't start crying with Cas so upset. One of them had to be strong. But he couldn't hold it back. With each chest rattling breath and shake of his shoulders, he felt endlessly awful. He should be able to be strong for Cas. But it was Sammy. He could barely think straight, let alone help other people keep it together.

When Dean managed to pull himself back together, he sighed, "I'm sorry."

Cas shook his head, "If you weren't a wreck right now, I'd be worried about you." He had a point.

"You want to go see him?" Dean asked.

Cas nodded and slowly stood up. He extended his hand to Dean and helped him up. Cas kept his hand in Dean's. Honestly, it helped Dean feel a little more stable, which helped immeasurably.

As they walked passed the waiting area, Dean saw Charlie with her arms wrapped around Dorothy. Charlie was wearing Dorothy's jacket, and Dorothy used Charlie's jacket like a blanket. They were both fast asleep. Dean and Cas walked over to Sam's room. They watched as Gabriel stood up and straightened out the sheets on Sam's bed.

"He really loves him, you know," Cas said.

Dean replied, "I know. He deserves someone like that."

He had to wake up. Dean wanted to see him happy, to see him loved, to see him okay.

"He'll be okay," Cas said, brushing his fingers along Dean's hand. Dean nodded. He just had to wake up.

He just wanted his brother back.