Chapter 8: Nothing turns to Everything

Steve's Truck

Alexandra watched Steve as he focused on the road ahead; the sun had already set, letting the dark starry night take over the scene of Oahu.

"I'm sorry you have to drive me home," Alexandra apologized, feeling embarrassed that she had not considered how she would get home when Derek took her car.

Steve looked at her and smiled, "You make it seem like it's a chore."

Alexandra shrugged her shoulders, feeling butterflies pound the linings of her stomach with their wings.

"I just feel bad for making you do this," she smiled timidly.

Alexandra didn't understand why Steve made her feel the way he did. He had this aura around him that automatically grasped people's attention; it made one want to talk to him for hours on end with hope that he had the same wants. Alexandra thought of all the girls who have met Steve before, how viciously they battled for his interest and then she thought of the girls who would have wished to be in her place if they knew she was in his truck. What had she done to deserve sitting next to him? What force of nature timed her life out to this exact moment?

"You would have done it for me," Steve glanced at her. "Besides, I couldn't just leave you there."

Alexandra let out a short laugh, "I know the last image you have of me is this giant dork, but I did learn how to get away from danger. I can take care of myself."

"You know you aren't alone in this world, right?" Steve asked.

Alexandra should have seen that response coming. Steve always made sure that his friends felt like they belonged and were wanted. She remembered Max feeling frustrated when they first moved to Hawaii because he was a "haole", then he met Steve and they were instantly best friends. Her brother would come home and tell her that Steve was the most understanding friend he ever had. The two boys were brothers by bond and then Catherine appeared. Alexandra pushed that out of her mind, she didn't want to think about Catherine; it was because of Catherine she ran away and it was because of Catherine she joined the CIA.

Steve then turned on the radio after Alexandra didn't reply. It was playing a slow, sweet song about a lonely soul trying to fit in. Alexandra's heart swelled when she realized it was the song which Max sung to her and Josef when either of them felt miserable.

"Mary and my mom used to sing this all the time," Steve revealed staring at the road, trying to avoid eye contact.

Alexandra looked at him, she knew what it must have been like for him, what it felt like to have the person who brought her into the world, ripped away from her.

Steve finally turned his head towards her, "I don't know why she didn`t come."

However, Alexandra didn't know what it was like to sit, think and try to make an excuse for the person who should have been closest to her. Mary hadn't come to her father's funeral and Alexandra knew that it tore Steve up, even if he didn't let it show, it was an unspoken truth. He didn't need to say anything, he didn't need to prove it, Alexandra knew he needed someone to share this all with after years of bottling everything inside.

Being trained for the Navy since sixteen doesn't let you talk much, does it, Steve? Alexandra thought wistfully.

"I'm sorry Mary didn't come," she whispered.

Why was she always so terrible at times like these? Every time someone was suffering and poured their heart out to her, Alexandra couldn't think of a single comforting word to say. She wanted to kick herself for not being more compassionate, for not knowing how to be there for Steve.

"I just don't get it. We haven't seen each other in a decade and she doesn't come," he confided.

"Have you called her?" she asked.

The Navy SEAL scoffed, "I've tried getting her number, but my uncle doesn't know how to reach her."

"Steve, I don't know your sister that well, but she isn't heartless," Alexandra offered to which Steve half smiled.

"When my mom died," Steve began. "I didn't know what to do for Mary. I was so upset and so angry at the world for taking mom away from us. Then Mary comes up to me and do you know what she says to me?"

Alexandra shook her head, not taking time to answer because she wanted to listen to him.

"She looked at me and said, 'Mommy's in Heaven, Steve. Don't cry.'" Steve revealed. "She was barely big enough to know what hit us. I was the older one, I was supposed to be looking out for her and instead she had to hold my hand through the funeral, she had to make sure I didn't fall apart."

"She's your sister-"

"What did I do to make it easier for her, Alexandra?" Steve asked. "That's why she didn't come. She was tired of being the one who had to make sure everyone didn't fall apart and not having her big brother."

Alexandra felt sadness overwhelm her as Steve spoke. Nobody ever deserved to feel that way. His family sacrificed for the good of society and just as everything was starting to make sense for them, they were torn apart because of someone who decided to drive while intoxicated. Alexandra, then, couldn't help but make parallels of Steve's life to hers. Except in her scenario she was the little sister and that's how she knew that Mary wasn't angry.

"No, you're wrong," Alexandra said. "Steve, in my family, I'm the little sister. When…"

Alexandra couldn't believe that she was finally talking about it. She was going to tell someone how she felt after the death of her mother, after everything changed in her life.

"Before my mom was killed, I never saw my brothers cry. I was so afraid… and seeing that my brothers felt the same way I did… it let me know I wasn't alone. I held their hands at her funeral, I held their hands at trial and I held their hands when we flew to Hawaii. It wasn't to make them feel better, it was to make me feel better," Alexandra told him feeling her heart beating from anxiety at the memories. "Mary held your hand because you made her feel safe. You helped her just as much as she helped you."

"Then why didn't she come?" Steve questioned as he turned on Alexandra's block.

"I can't answer that. I don't know what Mary is going through, but, please, just believe me when I say it isn't your fault," Alexandra replied as he pulled up in front of her house.

Alexandra didn't want to leave, she wanted to sit next to Steve the entire night. He made her feel as if she could conquer anything that fate thrust upon her. He put the car in park and hopped out of the driver's seat to walk her to the door. Everything inside Alexandra screamed to not let him go home, to say something to make him stay.

The pair walked up to her door in silence; Alexandra didn't know what to say and she was exhausted, but she still didn't want him to leave.

"Will you be okay?" Steve finally asked, looking at her with his gentle, blue eyes that made her heart beat faster.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she answered. "I'm more worried about you."

Steve let out a small sigh, "That's why I don't like telling people what I feel."

Alexandra gazed at him for a second then replied, "You know you're not alone, right?"

She saw Steve smile at that, which made her feel proud of herself. She accomplished saying something empathetic, even if it meant she had to steal his previous phrase.

"Thanks," he murmured.

"For what? You were the one who said it," she smiled.

The space between them seemed to be smaller, but Alexandra couldn't tell whether or not it was her mind playing tricks on her or not. However, she was able to tell that her heart rate was out of control and she was positive that Steve was able to hear the organ pounding against her chest. She suddenly felt his arms on hers and felt a spark of electricity run throughout her body.

This wasn't real; she had to be imagining this. It was until their faces were centimeters away that she allowed herself to believe it was real and that Steve was about to kiss her. Finally their lips touched and Alexandra felt as if every care had evaporated. Nothing mattered anymore, not her future with the CIA or her insecurities and certainly not a deranged Frenchman. His lips were so soft and she could feel the heat from his body radiating against her. Unconsciously, her hands made their way to his chest and she could feel herself pulling him closer. They began edging towards her door… Was she really going to do this?

She never really confessed this to anyone, but she never slept with someone before. There were two reasons to account for this. The first was that she only dated one guy in high school, whom she broke up with before moving back to Hawaii (for the second time) and realizing that she would never get over her feelings for Steve. The second reason was, after what happened with her mom, she began to attend Catholic mass on Sundays which usually ended up with her having long conversations with the nuns… they influenced her life quite a bit.

Suddenly Alexandra felt her back hit the front door. Her hand fumbled for the door knob as Steve now held her around the waist.

Oh God, oh God! Is this happening? This isn't real! He doesn't care about me! He has to care about me if his tongues down my throat! Alexandra's mind screamed.

"Whoa! " A recognizable voice shouted when the door finally flew open.

Alexandra quickly pulled away from Steve and spun around to see who was in her house. She was greeted by the sight of a tall, skinny woman with ink dark hair, olive skin and green eyes; the woman was her best friend, Odette.

"Uh… Hi," Alexandra laughed nervously as she felt her face turning red.

"Oi, there's yogurt in her fridge- ahhh!" a thin man with brown hair and an Irish accent expressed his shock when he saw Alexandra standing in the door way…. Declan McCullough.

Alexandra turned around to Steve to explain who they were. The SEAL wasn't even in the slightest bit red, in fact he didn't look embarrassed at all.

"They're friends from the-"

"CIA?" Steve proposed with an exasperated expression.

"Yes," Alexandra smiled as she realized her hand was entangled in his. "Ignore the man-girl, he's afraid of everything."

"We could leave," Odette suggested, rather stiffly.

"That'd be great," Steve said making Alexandra hush him.

She bit her lips, observing her friends' exhausted faces and then replied, "No, you're already here and I can see you're tired."

" Awesome," the weapons specialist grinned, coming towards the pair as Declan ate his yogurt in the corner, silently. "I'm Odette McCullough."

"This is Steve," Alexandra introduced, still feeling shocked and confused.

"Hi," Steve replied distractedly and Alexandra could tell he noticed her wall.

"Revanche salue le menteur," Odette read aloud. "Revenge-"

"Greets the liar," Alexandra translated simultaneously with Odette.

"Modern art?" Steve inquired as she observed it.

"A message from a fan," she explained as Declan let out a small laugh.

"Sounds more like a psychotic, offbeat loon," Declan said as Alexandra met his eyes.

He looked stressed out and scared. Alexandra noticed he kept sending short glances at Odette.

He probably forgot to take out the trash two days ago, Alexandra assured herself, pushing down the feeling that something was wrong.

"Some fan," Steve scoffed bringing Alexandra out of her thoughts.

"Look," Odette began leading the pair away from the door, then closing it. "Olsen sent us out here when you were a no-show for –"

Alexandra noticed Odette's eyes dart towards Steve. She realized Odette thought saying something that pertained to covert operations around Steve wasn't safe.

"He's Naval Intel," she explained which seemed to satisfy the tall brunette.

"When you were a no-show for the exchange with the counterfeiter in Libya," Odette finished.

"You counterfeited money in Libya?" Steve asked as Declan finally approached them.

"Money? No, passports, clearance cards for safe houses," the Irishman informed as the SEAL nodded his head.

"Not the point," Odette adverted. "We need to talk about what's happening, so, uh, Naval Intel guy might have to beat it."

Alexandra sighed, regretting that she let Derek take her cigarettes away from her. A surprise from her entire team was exactly what she didn't want, especially since something was going on between her and Steve. She didn't want to have to make any decisions involving the CIA any time soon.

"Look, I'm happy you came and all, but we spies communicate in code," the pale, blonde said as she walked towards her couch.

"What do you want me to do? Leave a message on your wall like the last guy?" Odette fired back.

"She has a point," Steve directed towards Alexandra. "But I'm not leaving until I know she's safe."

"And about the wall, Odette, the guy got the point across, so… creepy, yes, but effective also," Alexandra replied sarcastically.

"Listen, you Nimrod," Declan piped up. "Clearly you told this guy about that and your boyfriend isn't leaving until you're safe, so why don't we tag team this?"

Alexandra glanced at Steve, trying her hardest to keep from blushing; it was his call. The task force was his team and she couldn't make any decisions for it, even if their next case concerned her. She knew there was a line between how they had to act while they were at work and how they could act outside of their day job.

"We could use outside help to catch the people. There's probably a cleaner along with the guy you ID'ed, they can keep an eye out for him," Steve agreed.

Alexandra glanced at her CIA team members and then at Steve. Mixing cocky CIA agents, a trigger happy SEAL and police on Oahu? She never had to work with an arrangement like this before, but Alexandra was trained to adapt in a matter of minutes and now the job called for it more than ever. One thing she was sure of, though, was that the Governor wouldn't be happy when she found out that clandestine missions were going on right underneath her nose.

"Let's start securing the house," she agreed standing up from the couch and heading towards the garage for supplies.

Alexandra Sarna's Garage

The intoxicating smell of gunpowder filled Steve's nostrils as he helped the weapons specialist named Odette rig shotguns to use as booby traps. He wished, though, that she hadn't been sitting in the Sarna house when he and Alexandra arrived because of the more personal event that had been happening on the porch.

"You aren't alone in the world." Alexandra's words replayed in his mind, distracting him from his current task.

"So how do you know Ali?" Odette questioned as she walked around the garage looking for some wire.

Steve arched a brow, "Ali?"

"Alexandra?" she explicated, making him want to kick himself for his idiocracy.

"Right, sorry, I didn't know she had a nickname," he explained, realizing he preferred the nickname than Alexandra. "Uh, we knew each other a long time."

"Clearly," Odette remarked handing Steve some wire she found as he shrugged.

So she caught him and Ali kissing and walking into the house while kissing. It wasn't something to make a scene over.

"What's the plan, then," Odette asked, changing the subject.

Steve thought how he would have gone about this in Afghanistan. With his SEAL team he would have had to made sure the assassin and the cleaner were dead and leave for the next assignment. There wasn't any time to see if the person who evaded death was okay. It was his job to make sure that person didn't die, it was his job to make sure he took a bullet before the victim did. It wasn't like that this time, though. This was Ali and he had feelings for her. He wouldn't just think it's his job to take a bullet for her, he would do it without complaining. The entire ordeal was different when the person on the hit list was someone who he cared for.

"Set up a trip wire in the back and this," he held the shotgun. "In the front. She isn't going to stay here, it's too dangerous."

"She has nowhere to go," Odette pointed out.

"I'll take her to her brother's and stay on guard duty," Steve notified his new ally.

"Alright, and you want us to stay on guard here?" she questioned.

"Yeah. If anyone comes who looks like an assassin, you kill them," he ordered leaving the garage to find Ali and tell her the plan.

He didn't know how he would have enough energy to stay on guard duty at her brother's house, but compared to previous missions he's completed, pulling an all-nighter seemed like nothing.

Except it means everything to you, doesn't it? A voice in his head asked.

Sorry it took so long to post this new chapter up! I had writer's block and I really needed to think of a way to write it so you guys would like it. I hope you do! :)