It took me the two minutes from the closed off pool to the main briefing room to calm down, Ed had his hand on my back and was drumming out the breathing pattern for snipers to count too; He knew I wasn't pissed off with Wordy, I was more concerned about who could target my family if I am not there to help them? We headed into the room and I took a seat beside Parker who had just finished making notes on my incident report and was signing off on it, he pointed to the headset lying on my shoulder, he frowned and got Ed to shut the doors; I slumped down onto the chair and blew out my breath.

"Mac, let us see the videos you were sent," he asked gently.

"They aren't pretty boss and I have people working on the sender information through my contacts!" I whispered trying to spare them the bad memories.

"Let us see the videos Mackenzie, they are in the past and we need information!" Ed whispered.

I passed him my phone and I went for a walk beside the window to look outside; I climbed onto my favourite perch and touched the glass to feel the coolness through my fingers.

Jules being shot by a sniper

Lou committing suicide to save Spike

Wordy being shot by a grief stricken parent

Parker being kidnapped and laid wide open

Ed taking a Scorpio shot

A young man screaming over a girl's body on the road.

I closed my eyes and saw the video flash through each person on the team, hearing and seeing them at their worst moments during that day and having to deal with the fallout. The video had stopped and I leaned my head back against the pillar while taking a deep breath as the video of me getting blown up in the desert happened over and over again. A loud beep and I knew I had received another message; I kept my eyes closed as they clicked on the link and watched events unfold last night – all I could hear was Spike scream.

My headache was getting worse, instead of the mild salsa music I normally had going in my head I had full blown death metal with added acoustics.

'I am in control, breathe through the issues and compartmentalize the Intel – work through the questions and find the answers!' I thought to myself.

I was hunched up on the shelf, squeezing my hands together to sort the information out and figure out questions I would need for todays 'interrogation by Toth' – that I was dreading and would happily do a years' worth of clean up instead of doing that meeting. I felt someone join me on the shelf, they didn't try to touch or speak to me, they just gave me the space to breathe and sort myself out. I opened my eyes and found Spike sitting across from me, he had a goofy look on his face and I burst out laughing, it was his post-coital face and I couldn't believe he was imitating it at work.

"Thought that would work, didn't want to try the real thing and get fired!" he replied laughing.

I nodded and wiped away a stray tear from my eyes, he was looking brave for my benefit, but I had guessed he was watching what was going on in the room via the video cameras outside. I looked up at him and he nodded to the unspoken question – he had seen them.

"Spikey, I am so sorry, I know it couldn't have been easy for you – for anyone of you in the team." I whispered.

He held up his hand and shook his head, he knew how different I was now since doing the two month tour, how much more open and detailed I had become; he was half in awe of the fighter that came back with a vengeance when it came to family.

"I love you and that will never change, I want a big family wedding, picket fence around the house and crazy dogs and hyperactive kids around my ankles every day for the rest of my life – but I have one request – you cannot hold this kind of information back from us because you think it could harm us. Greg did that to us once and he nearly died in a meth lab, I've done it trying to diffuse bombs and I lost friends – you are vital to me to function properly and I nearly died watching you disappear in the explosion last night."

Tears ran down my cheeks, I brushed them away and felt Spike pull on my fingers, playing with the small tattoo of a cross on the inside of my thumb.

"I know I heard you scream my name and get through the doors, I was only just out when I crawled onto the props – as I said, that few minutes sucked!" I replied taking his hands.

He raised my chin and I noticed the small dimple coming out in his cheek, he was thinking something naughty and his eyes were wide open.

"Speaking about sucking, we need to explore that particular…." He started.

"Shut up!" I hissed laughing as I struggled from his grip on my ankles.

He pulled me into him and I laughed into his shirt, he was laughing too at the very obvious red face I had and the weird looks I was getting from Ed as he opened the doors again. I looked up at Spike who made the face again and I was laughing again as I was pulled out the room to treat a wrist injury in team five.

Three hours later I was standing in the locker room in my full dress uniform putting my hair up into its bun; I had to get my jacket and skirt altered slightly due to the weight I had lost and muscle I had gained. I looked myself up and down in the mirror and put on my jacket and grabbed my bag that had my notes, ID and weapon I had insisted on taking. I straightened my back, took a deep breath and headed out the locker room holding my hat under my arm. I looked up and saw all four teams standing there with their phones out taking photos of me and Sam who were in our Sunday best, I groaned and looked at Sam who was laughing.

"They have never seen us in our uniforms – glad to see the regiment colours on you again though!" he whispered.

I laughed and looked at them all before we started getting out pictures taken in stupid poses – they dragged Jules up to be with Sam and Spike with me – I knew that photo was going in the yearbook!

Twenty minutes later we were all talking to the boss when Winnie got the call to say the car was here and we needed to leave to make our flight, I gave everyone a hug and headed out with Sam in tow. Spike and Jules followed us out and made sure we were alright to leave and had everything, it was really sweet and I swore I would behave and Toth would be alive by the time I was finished. I gave him a farewell wink and 'sucked thumb' sign and he nodded and laughed – that was going to be our private code for we are alright.

The flight was only a couple of hours and we talked about what could happen, what probably would happen and that Toth was just a moronic arsehole who needed to be used as target practice. We landed at the back of 10am and were transported up to the base by convoy due to the classified status of the base; it was a huge compound and one I understood that Sam knew very well. We were delivered to an officer who transported us down the lift to a large room where a man was leaning over a desk; he turned around at the sound of the knock on the door.

"Ah Constable Braddock and Fraser, please come in and make yourself comfortable before we get started," he said as we entered and closed the door.