AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! I really think this story should speak for itself.

BLACK STAR PRESENTS

Obsidian Stratos Saves a Princess

Black Star was sitting at the edge of his desk, papers in hand. He was so excited to show his friends the story he had slaved away on writing. Well, telling. He couldn't actually write so he rather forcibly convinced Ox Ford to write the story down for him. The idea had come to him in a dream. It was completely original. He knew he was the greatest, but never realized just how great until this gem appeared before him. Obsidian Stratos, he thought confidently. The only guy who is almost as awesome as I am. He watched as his friends piled into the small room. He beamed, plopping the paper down for all of them to see.

"Whoa, Black Star," his best friend Soul said. "You actually wrote something. Props. Didn't think you had it in you."

"Yeah, I'm just a regular Russell Crowe I guess," the boy said beaming. Soul frowned.

"Ox wrote it down for you didn't he?"

"NO! Yes..." Soul rolled his eyes as his partner Maka peeked in behind them.

"This is really impressive. What's it about?" she asked.

"Let me see!" a shrill voice came, peering over the two. It was followed by a solemner voice behind.

"Patti, don't crowd the table," Liz, Patti's sister, said. "Hey, Kid. You coming?" she called out to her meister, who was still studying the ceiling.

"It doesn't seem right..." he said to himself. "I was certain these stones were all the same shape. Why is this one an octagon and the rest hexagons? Why? To what end?" Liz rolled her eyes and dragged him away so he saw the paper in front of the group. "Is that what we're here for?" he asked.

"Yep!" Black Star squealed. "Wrote it myself. Completely original story by yours truly! The awesome and amazing Black Star! Hahahaha!"

"So are ya going to read it, or what?" Soul said, slipping his hands into his pockets. Black Star went slightly pale.

"I can't read," he replied. "BUT I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN!" He stuffed the paper in their faces. "Go on! You can each take a turn!" Soul looked down and grabbed the loose papers in his hands.

"Obsidian Stratos Saves A Princess..." he read half-heartedly. "Clever."

"Soul! Don't be rude!" Maka whispered. "It looks like a...very interesting story Black Star."

"Oh it IS!" the Assassin gleamed. "Now read! Read! Read!" Maka ducked under Soul so she could see.

"Long ago..." she began. "In a galaxy far far away...

There lived a young hero by the name of Obsidian Stratos. He was called this because he was awesome and cool. He was so awesome and cool that everyone wanted to be him but nobody could. He was really cool because he was from space, which no one else was from. He had a magic sword too. Her name was Camilla and she was awesome."

"Camilla? Like me?" Tsubaki, Black Star's partner, entered the room. Her face was glowing with pride. "That's so sweet."

"What? No! Tsubaki! This is an original story. You're not in it."

"Oh I see," she said smiling. "Please continue."

Soul scowled. "Yes...please..." he droned sarcastically. He was met with a quick smack by Maka as she continued.

"She was the sword goddess so she wasn't actually the sword but lived in it. The only thing was Obsidian didn't live in space. He lived on a distant planet because the king and queen of the planet took him in and raised him when he was just a baby but Camilla was a secret to them so he could not show her to them. It was called Lifeville. He grew up there and played all the time with the princess. The princess was beautiful but did not have large boobs so many guys did not think she was beautiful but Obsidian thought she was the most beautiful of all. Her name was Princess Mango."

"Why Mango?" Soul asked.

"Because all Princesses have fruit names. Duh. Princess Peach. Strawberry shortcake..."

"I relate to the whole not having big breasts thing..." Maka mumbled. She looked down and kept reading, as everyone continued to follow along silently.

"Princess Mango was really smart and really pretty. She had a plain face and liked to wear her hair in pigtails because her long blonde hair did not fit into a bun. She loved to read more than anything so people thought she was boring. But Obsidian Stratos wanted Princess Mango to be his bride anyway because she was pretty and smart. She had a dragon pet named Heart Muncher who was a very sour dragon and did not like to share the princess. But even though he wanted to protect the princess, he was a dragon. Princess Mango liked her dragon she called Munch and the dragon and Obsidian Stratos were bestest friends forever. They liked to play together all of the time and when they got older Munch and Obsidian did get a long too."

"I'm a dragon? Fuck yeah!" Soul shouted. "You hear that Maka? Mother fucking dragon..."

"No! You're not in it! This story is original!" Black Star shouted.

"Soul..." she whispered back. "Do you really think Black Star came up with this on his own?"

"Of course not," Soul replied. Maka began to tense. She wasn't sure of how she felt being a princess. Especially if Black Star was the hero. "Don't worry, Maka. It's just a story. Look...the dragon protected the princess...

...but even though he did like Obsidian very much, he wasn't very happy about him marrying her. Obsidian decided that in order to prove the dragon wrong he had to prove the dragon wrong by doing a heroic deed. Obsidian was not the only one who wanted to marry the princess though. There was another suitor named Prince Junior who was a prick and thought he was the most awesome. But that was Obsidian so they did not get a long well. When Obsidian asked Camilla what he should do she said "follow your heart and it will lead you" but Obsidian was confused because his heart was inside him and he could not follow it anywhere. So he challenged Prince Junior to a duel where they fought to marry the princess.

Princess Mango was not sure she wanted to be married but she was so in love with Obsidian Stratos that she forgot all about that and wanted him to win because she was in love. Her father was the Ghost King."

"Let me guess. Is he a ghost?" Liz asked.

"No. He's a king," Black Star replied. Liz rolled her eyes.

"I don't think Ox was taking this very seriously..." Maka said flatly.

"The Ghost King was a good king," Soul continued. "But not a good father because he killed his wife by breaking her heart on accident by sleeping with a bunch of women and drinking sake every night. This made Princess Mango very sad and very lonely so Obsidian wanted to marry her so she would be saved. On the day of the duel the Princess went to Obsidian in his chambers and kissed him on his forehead.

"I will win this and we will be together, Princess," Obsidian said.

"I look forward to it," said the princess. Then he kissed her on her lips and she blushed like a tomato. "You are the coolest Knight ever," she said.

"I know," he said.

"I love you," she said.

"I know," he said again. Then she gave him her handkerchief and told him not to die. Obsidian laughed because he knew he would win because he was awesome and Prince Junior was not. The Princess went out to the garden where Munch was not happy with her. This is because her father did not know she had a pet dragon and she did not want him to find out. He was also jealous because he thought Obsidian was going to take his princess away. Then Prince Junior came up to him and said:

"I want to duel you."

"I love to fight," Obsidian said. "But the Princess is my favorite thing in the world. You will lose."

"No I will not," said Prince Junior. "I have a weapon that's a secret."

"Whaaaaaat? Dude. Why?" he said.

"Because I hate you." Prince Junior said. "And I am a prick."

"Oh. Well you are a prick."

"The princess is perfect and I want her," Prince Junior said. "I will KILL YOU!"

"Haha! No you won't," Obsidian Stratos said. "Because I will kill you."

"Okay," said Prince Junior.

So Pricky Prince Junior and Obsidian Stratos decided they would have an official duel like they were going to do before but this time in front of the whole entire kingdom of Lifeville. But they didn't know that there was another man who wanted to marry the Princess and his name was Excalibur,"

"You mean like the Holy Sword Excalibur?" Kid asked.

"Yeah! Yeah! No! No! This story is original! How many times do I have to say that?" Black Star exclaimed. Soul shrugged and kept reading.

"Excalibur did not love the princess but only wanted to become king and evilly rule over the entire planet of Lifeville. He probably was going to kill her afterwards or something. That was how mean he was. He was also the most annoying creature on the face of the planet and never stopped shouting. No one wanted to marry him because he was beyond annoying. Obsidian Stratos did not know that when they met. Excalibur went to the princess.

"Hello, Princess, I am Excalibur and I am beyond annoying. Will you marry me?" he said.

"No," said the Princess. "I love Obsidian Stratos because he is awesome and cool. You are none of those things. Begone."

"FOOL!"

"NO!" So then Excalibur went away sad, but he didn't actually. He was hatching a plan behind the backs of everyone in Lifeville. Duh duh- wait. How am I supposed to say this?"

"Like...DUH DUH DUUUUUHHHHHH!" Black Star sang. Soul just stared at him blankly.

"No. I'm not doing that."

"But Soul you have to!" Soul shook his head and continued reading, he noticed Maka distancing herself, but didn't think anything of it.

"At the tournament duel Obsidian Stratos and Prince Junior fought each other and the Princess was cheering for Obsidian to win. Prince Junior tried to fight with a cannon but it did not work because he was kind of stupid. He was no match for Obsidian Stratos. Obsidian had his sword Camilla who sliced through the Prince's armor and then made him bleed. There was blood and scars all over Obsidian's body which the princess thought made him look hot and sexy. She felt her pants get wet just thinking about what it would be like to be held in his strong arms, as she was so weak- Whoa wait, what?" Soul muttered. Maka wanted to stop reading, her body becoming tense with discomfort. Liz peeped over and took over.

"Her pants got so wet that she had to go change them in the middle of the battle. Obsidian won the battle and held his sword to Prince Junior.

"You have lost," Obsidian said.

"You may take my life," Junior said. "You are clearly the most awesome and I am just a douche."

"Dude, I don't want your life. I'm too awesome for that. I want the princess." Obsidian put away his sword and looked around but the Princess Mango was nowhere to be found. He became worried and started to wander. Suddenly he looked up because something was blocking out the sun. It was a giant hot air balloon. In it was Excalibur and his evil henchman. They also had a megaphone and the Princess.

"You have the princess!" Obsidian Stratos shouted. Prince Junior sat up and gasped.

"He does have the Princess!" he said too.

"You bastard! Give back the Princess!" Obsidian said.

"No!" Excalibur said as the balloon took off. He laughed and held the princess close to him. "Now you will by my princess and no one else will have you. Also, I'm evil MUAHAHAHA!"

"Oh no!" Princess Mango said. She was hoping that Obsidian or someone would save her. The royal guards threw things at the balloon but it was no use. Obsidian Stratos tried to fly up there but realized he couldn't fly so he went to find Muncher who was munching on a snack and sleeping.

"Oh no! It's a sleeping curse!" Prince Junior said.

"What is that?" Obsidian Stratos asked.

"A curse where you sleep," Prince Junior said.

"You're a Prick," Obsidian said. Prince Junior was sad because he knew it was true. He called on his handmaidens Lizbeth and Patricia telling them to pack up his things because he was leaving now that the princess was gone. "Look there is a note!" Obsidian said. He read it and it said that the princess Mango was going to marry Excalibur at sunset so they didn't have a lot of time. Munch woke up then and realized the princess was gone. This made him extremely sad because he loved her but only like friends because Obsidian Stratos was in love with the princess and he did not want to ruin their friendship. Also he was a dragon and that would have been weird.

The Ghost King was also very sad because he was afraid he would never see his daughter again but that it was also his fault that she was gone now. He begged Obsidian to rescue the princess.

"My Maaaannnggoooooo" he liked to whine. "Savvvvveeee heeeerrrr."

"Um...duh?" Obsidian said. He grabbed his Camilla who told him to be careful. He told her he would and that he loved her as a friend which made her happy. "Okay! Let's go save the princess!" Prince Junior did not want to come because he thought he would get his pants dirty but Munch picked him up and dragged him along anyway. Obsidian did not want to work with his rival but realized there was no choice as this would finally prove to Munch that he was worthy of his princess. Except, it wasn't his princess really. He was just really damn protective..."

Liz gave Soul a knowing smirk. He growled. Kid tried to hold in his tears.

"That poor prince...it is not easy living up to the expectations of people. I of all people can understand that," he sighed. "All he wants is perfection. Is that so horrible?"

"I think I might be coming down with something," Maka said. She tugged on Soul's sleeve. "Can we go?"

"No way, I'm finishing this thing," Soul said bitterly. "Just hang in there," he reassured. I'll kick his ass later.

"So the three warriors went off to save the princess. They traveled for a long time and nearly starved but they made it to the evil Excalibur's castle...hahaha!" Patti read.

"Why the hell does Excalibur want to marry Mak- I mean Mango?" Soul asked.

"Because he's annoying and nobody likes him! Now stop interrupting my story!" Black Star shouted. Tsubaki began to read the rest of the story.

"When they got to the castle Obsidian split the teams up but said to Munch that he should stay behind because a big white dragon with red eyes would have been noticeable by the guards of the castle. He told Prince Junior to wait for his signal and Camilla to conjure up all of her powers. He went inside of the terrible place and noticed that the wedding was already happening. He realized that was really bad and ran through the castle fighting giant evil monsters and zombies that guarded the door. They were no match for him and Camilla because they were too awesome. Obsidian entered the room and saw that Princess Mango was there but she was tied up with chains and could not move.

"Princess Mango I am here!" Obsidian said.

"Oh Obsidian! I knew you would come!" she said.

"Yes I did!" Obsidian said. "Now let go of the princess, Excalibur!"

And then Excalibur said "No."

And then Obsidian said "Do it or I'll hurt you."

And then Excalibur said "No" again.

"Okay fine I'm going to hurt you!" Obsidian said.

"FOOL!" He ran up to Excalibur and fought him, but Excalibur was the holy sword so he was very hard to defeat. Obsidian did beat him up and unchained the Princess Mango with his mystic sword mode and Princess Mango cried.

"Oh my goodness, Obsidian Stratos! You saved me!" she said. "You are the most awesome in the whole world!" Obsidian noticed that there were scars on her body and wondered where they came from but did not ask because he thought it would be rude.

"I am in love with you, Princess Mango and I want to be together with you and have space babies and dance and sing and be married all the time," he said.

"I am also in love with you and would like that," Princess Mango said. "You are the smartest, bravest, strongest, most awesome person ever." Prince Junior walked in and realized he wasn't going to marry the princess and cried. Munch was happy because the princess was happy and never questioned his best friend ever or did anything to ruin their happiness out of jealousy or anything. He wasn't that kind of dragon. He was a cool dragon who wanted his best friend and his princess to be happy even though she wasn't really his princess as much as he acted like she was because she was her own person and could do what she wanted except she wanted to be with Obsidian so it made her happy.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" asked Princess Mango to Obsidian. But Obsidian wasn't happy because he wanted to marry the princess not be her boyfriend.

"No I want to marry you," he said.

"Okay." she said.

And so Obsidian Stratos and Princess Mango decided they wanted to get married and have sex all the time even though she had small boobs-"

"That's it! I'm done!" Maka shouted. She ripped herself away from Soul and started to run towards the door. She could feel her breath begin to get shallow. "Thank you Black Star that was a nice story but I'm not feeling well so I have to go." Soul frowned. Great. Black Star broke Maka. Again. Though he couldn't help but feel awkward about the idea that his best friend want to make babies with his meister. The thought shook him.

"Thanks, Buddy but I think we'll just stick to books in library from now on," Soul said, going after his meister. "See ya." But his mind was still reeling. Did Black Star realize what he had done? Probably not. Still gonna kick his ass though, he thought scowling.

"Oh okay!" Black Star said. He looked over at Tsubaki who was smiling, but seemed very awkward in her demeanor despite this. Liz was rereading it over and over again, trying to piece everything together while Kid sat huddled in the corner.

"I am not a prick..." he whispered to himself. "I simply want to have beauty in the world. Does he really think I am this much of a, how you say, douche bag? Oh I'm horrible. I should just die." He started to sob. "Useless...pathetic...I can't even get a princess to fall in love with me..."

"Kid," Liz said peering down, "You know it's just a story right?" But Kid just slunk back down.

"Glad you liked it, Kid! Well, I'm going to home to do some pull ups. Night!" Black Star said marching out the door. "Come on, Tsubaki! Let's go!"

"Hehe, okay," she said gleefully. Kid's head shot up as they started to leave.

"Wait? What? No! Come back! You have to finish the story! Do the Princess Mango and Obsidian Stratos finally get married? Will Prince Junior ever be redeemed for his pricky ways in the eyes of his friends? Does he ever find out where he came from? Where anyone came from? What about Camilla? She's a goddess! Where did she come from? What happened to Munch? Why is he so protective of the princess? Why isn't the Ghost King a ghost? Black Staaaaaaar!"

Black Star walked away from the group feeling satisfied. He had finally done something great. To prove he was just as smart and cool as he always said he was. He liked that all of his friends enjoyed his story, especially Maka. She had to leave the room it was so awesome. Ha! As if she didn't think I was totally cool already. He went to bed that night feeling prideful, more so than usual. So this was what it felt like to be a writer? Maybe I should write another one...he thought. But then he laughed. Naw, nothing could top Obsidian Stratos.

But then he had a dream...

And then he forgot it.

Thank you for reading! If you are coming down here with a "WTF did I just read?" expression, that's good. This was just supposed to be something fun, entertaining the idea of a BlackStarxMaka relationship. Oh BlackStar, you lovable idiot. I'm not planning on making more, but I do have ideas if it ever comes up again and people would like to see more.

Also, all the writing inconsistencies are done on purpose either because that was how BlackStar intended or Ox just really didn't care while translating it to written form.

THANKS FOR READING!