"So, anyone want me to order schwarma?" Tony asked making the other four look over at him.
"Why would that help?" Steve asked.
"Schwarma!" Thor screamed. "I feel that would be a most excellent solution!"
"Well eating something might help in some way." Clint said just as his stomache growled a bit.
"See I can be of some help at times." Tony said getting up and leaving the room to order their lunch.
"Ok, so lets think of a mission or a moment where you two seemed like there was a bond that couldn't be explained as anything other then love." Bruce said handing a sheet of paper and the pen back to Clint.
"Ok, is it possible that I could just be blocking out anything that doesn't have to do with sex?" Clint asked smirking as the three Avengers left in the room with him all gave a blush. "And considering the blush on at least two of your guys' face's I can guess that you don't want to here more about my sex life."
"Well it doesn't help with our lack there of." Steve said standing up.
"Where are you going our good captain?" Thor asked.
"The bathroom." Steve said pulling out his wallet.
"You know we really need to find him a woman." Bruce said after Steve was out of ear shot. "He's going to wear that picture of Peggy out more then it already is."
Clint started laughing and Thor just seemed quite confused by what Bruce meant.
"What does the picture of his lost loved one have to do with our fearless leader needing to use the restroom?" Thor asked of them, neither had the heart though to give the explanation. Tony on the other hand jump at the opportunity as he re-entered the area.
"The good captain is just going to choke the chicken a bit big guy." He said with a very devious smirk. This statement caused Bruce to look as though he was about to have a heart attack but made Clint fall off his chair laughing hysterically.
"Why would the good captain be choking a chicken in the restroom?" Thor asked curiously.
"PLEASE!" Bruce begged. "I am literally begging you to not explain anymore of this to him!"
"You're really no fun to be around some times Brucey!" Tony said all to innocently.
"It's not fun to explain monogamy to Thor!" Bruce said looking as though the other guy was about to come out any second now.
"Alright fine ruin all my fun!" Tony said only then to look over at Clint and realize he was now getting back up and sitting in his chair. "What about you though Katniss?" He asked of Clint. "Why don't we give Thor something of a lesson in it."
"Quit calling me the names of every person who has ever wielded a bow and arrow and just let me get back to the task at hand." Clint stated.
"Ok well what have you written in my absence?"
"Nothing."
"Get to thinking then Legolas!"
"Ok." Fury said staring over at his two best assassins and their handler. "Why is it that I can not trust the two of you alone in the same room together long enough to just sit and talk?"
"Well sir you see-" Coulson began before Fury cut him off.
"Don't make excuses for them Coulson!" Fury boomed staring over at Coulson with his one good eye. "They need to learn some self-control."
"We're working on that sir." Natasha said from her seat.
"In all honesty Director." Clint began. "The really problem isn't the fact that we have no self-control."
"Oh it isn't Barton!" Fury stated looking more pissed. "Then what do you suppose the real problem is?"
"Well the real problem is that the only reason we've been caught with our pants down -literally- is because we're not the only people around here who are trying to do it." Clint stated as though he had just figured everything out.
"Who else around the helicarrier is trying to use it to fornicate?" Fury asked not believing a word that was coming out of Clint's mouth.
"Well Sitwell was the first person to come to you but I'm going to take a small guess that he left out the part where the only reason he caught us was because he was trying to get it on with that little blonde new recruit with the massive boobs." Clint stated causing a snort from both Phil and Natasha.
"Really?" Fury said a little more believingly. "Make a list of all the 'couples' who have caught you in the act, and I will give the two of you a paid week away to get out your... frustrations." Fury said with a bit of a smirk. "But that doesn't explain why Romanoff shot Morse in the leg!"
"She startled me." Natasha stated. "And she stared far too long." She added causing Clint to smirk and Phil to hide his laugh with a very fake cough.
"Still not a good enough reason Agent." Fury said, but at this point they could tell he was starting to get amused.
"It could have been worse sir." She said. "If I had no self-control then I would have shot her in the head and hid the body. But instead I spared her life and just caused her pain instead."
Fury had nothing else he could really say to the two of them and just sent them on their way. When they got to Clint's apartment that night they sat in the living room eating dinner when Clint burst out laughing hysterically.
"What is so funny to you?" Natasha asked giving her lover a curious look and smile.
"Fury was ready to suspend or demoat us and we really did just talk our way out of it." He said regaining his composure. "As well as possibly get everyone who rated on us in trouble as well, and after we make this list we get a paid vacation when we hand it in."
"Yeah it worked out in our favor pretty well." Natasha said standing up only to walk over and straddle Clint's lap and lay her head in the crook of his neck. "So what are we going to do on this paid vacation?" She asked kissing his neck right at his pulse point.
"Why don't I show you rather than tell you." Clint said placing his arms underneath her legs and firmly gripping her ass as he stood and carried her to his bedroom where they stayed for the rest of the evening leaving the rest of their dinner to get cold.
"So what are you thinking?" Tony asked.
"We really have a lot of sex."
Bruce groaned, Thor looked confused, and Tony wore a shit-eaten grin.
"What does coidice have to do with the many reasons you love Lady Natasha?" Thor asked making the other three look over at him. When Tony went to respond Bruce kicked him under the table making him yelp in pain instead and just shut his mouth.
"Anyways." Bruce said glaring at Tony and then half-heartedly at Thor. "What else did you think of."
"We really do always have each others backs whether we're on a mission or just dealing with someone at S.H.I.E.L.D or even with you guys."
"That's good." Bruce said. "What else?"
"We have A LOT of fucking sex." Clint said with a smirk while Tony burst out laughing and Bruce did a face palm and Thor just smirked because he knew as soon as Bruce was out of ear shot Tony would tell him why it was funny in the first place.
Sorry missed a couple of days but here's the next update. R&R and remember I am not now nor have i ever been Stan Lee, or Joss Whedan.