Chapter 4
Sunday morning, eight o'clock. Saix Claymore, somehow still fully clothed in spite of the bizarre phenomena of the previous night, stirred very slightly. He was sprawled across the floor on the topmost landing of his townhouse, his head on the threshold to the bedroom and his bare feet dangling over the edge of the stairs. Realizing with a sudden flash of clarity where exactly he was, he scrambled upwards quickly and dusted himself off. So undignified, he thought harshly. But no sooner than he had gotten up than he had to sink to his knees again, as he was instantly hit with a pounding headache like he hadn't experienced since the day after he'd tried pot in college.
Mon Dieu, he thought. What happened last night?
Linda clambered up the stairs, carrying a loaded laundry basket. "Oh, Saix," she said, noticing her husband. Then she did a double take. "Are you okay?"
Ever the jokester, Saix muttered with the barest hint of sarcasm, "What did you feed me last night, Linda?"
"Are you sick, dear? What happened?" Of course, Linda knew precisely what had happened, but she still had to keep up appearances all the same.
"It's nothing too bad," Saix said, rubbing his head tenderly. "Just a little hangover, I guess."
Linda sighed sympathetically. "That's the last time I serve thousand-dollar wine with our dinner, then."
"No, you don't have to get rid of the fine wine just because of this! Perhaps it was a touch of overindulgence, nothing more." Not that Saix desperately needed the fine wine or anything. It was just one of life's little pleasures that he'd long since gotten used to.
"If you say so," Linda said, carrying the laundry into the bedroom and folding it. Saix carefully descended the stairs, not once noticing the red Sharpie message he'd left on the wall the night before. He shouldn't have been able to see it, because Linda had already wiped it clean just minutes earlier. NemoConTech's failed experimental glass cleaner was a very efficient cleaner of everything else. He sat on the couch downstairs, and tried to piece together the nonexistent memories of the previous night. Just how exactly did everything happen? Previously he had been under the impression that no human being could possibly be as stupid and irresponsible as those three dopes from The Hangover.
Could they? He certainly hoped not, especially now. What if he'd found himself with a tiger in the house instead of Linda? Or his Einstein hair inexplicably missing?
Mentally praising the fact that her husband had possibly the biggest, most powerful weirdness censor in his brain, Linda fired off another text to Ansem, saying that he had no memory of the night before. Smiling to herself, she then continued folding the laundry. All in a day's work, she thought. But the day's not over yet. Tonight will be another test. She finished the laundry, then wondered to herself, Now, where have my children gotten to? I hope they didn't see anything last night. The plans would probably be all shot down if that happened. Even if Ansem says to have faith, I wouldn't in that situation.
