Chapter 8

"Why did you send Edmund home?" Elsa asked Amy "Is it because he is no longer needed? Or because you want to keep Roger out of trouble?"

"It is better that Roger keeps out of trouble. But he must be there. It must seem as I am done with him."

"He is bait, too?"

'Yes. Burke will go for him too. He is another part of the puzzle."

"With Barnabas caught in the middle."

'Yes,. Why do you keep talking about it? I know what Barnabas is enduring better than anyone. If you think that by reminding me of it I will feel remorseful and stop it, you are wrong. I do feel remorseful, but I will not deviate from my path."

"And he does not matter at all."

"Elsa" Amy shrugged "No, I can't expect you to understand. You don't have the responsibility I do. And you don't see what I see."

"All I know is that Barnabas is suffering for my sake."

"That is your guilt speaking, not mine."

'Yes. It is mine. I let Burke seduce me. I believed him, I did all he asked... I worshiped him... I tried to kill Vicky because Burke wanted her and not me... And now it has led to this."

"We all make mistakes, Elsa. the question is how we are going to recover from this mess."

"Doctor Verhoff" Megan stood in front of him, arms crossed. "I do not like what you are doing."

Burke was amused at her. Megan Graham evidently did not know who he was. So he wanted to see how it played.

"And what do you think I am doing?"

"You are trying to force Barnabas to implicate Julia Hoffman, and that's why you are not signing the order of execution."

"And what if I am doing that?"

"There will be a price to pay. You are making yourself vulnerable, Doctor. You forget that you no longer can command the vote of the children, now that they have grown up. You do not want to make an enemy of me. Nor of Cecily, either. She has some damaging information out of you, and she will use it."

"You are threatening me?"

"I have not played much politics among the ronin. That is about to change."

"Don't forget that you are vulnerable thought your relationship with Angelique."

"And you are vulnerable due to your... tastes... You do not want Cecily to testify as to what you are and you like."

Burke shrugged. Good thing that he was not really Verhoff, because Verhoff would respond to those threats.

But he,... what did he care? Once he was done, he would leave Verhoff, and let him deal with the fallout with the ronin.

And when he had the power, the ronin would have more serious problems to worry about than Verhoff's tastes.

George sat, his head sunk in his hands, trying to restrain the jumble of thoughts running thought his mind.

He had Georgina. He had a daughter, and the chance to raise her.

Did that make him accept the fact that Barnabas was going to die?

Did he want Barnabas to die, because that made it easier for him to raise his child?

Megan was right. It was better to raise children without vampires around. Even if they were careful, there could be mistakes and slips... and with a small child, the first mistake would be the last...

It was not true, he tried to tell himself... He did not want Barnabas to die...

He just accepted that, crippled as he was, it was better for him to die...

So what did it mean that he accepted it so easily? Didn't he love Barnabas? Had he ever loved him? Had it just been lust?

No, it was not...

It was just that he had known that Barnabas would get himself killed sooner or later, and that he had learned to accept it.

Or was that just an excuse?

"Quentin and I are getting married" Maggie told him.

Barnabas smiled at this. So this had come to pass. Just as he had predicted it. Maybe the rest would come to pass to.

"For the first time I feel free. I realized that I can let go of my rancor... That I have this big future in front of me, and that I do not want to risk it... Barnabas, it is going to be different now."

"I know it will."

"When you get better, you will come to visit us."

So Maggie clung to the fantasy that there was a cure for him... Why did she believe it? Maybe she felt less guilty about flaunting her happiness in front of him if she believed that he would get well.

And what harm did it do to pretend that she was right?

"I will make sure to go there, and to attend your wedding. I'll have to think of an appropriate gift... I take that antique jewelry won't do."

"According to Miss Manners, I should not extend invitations in the hope of getting presents. I am only announcing it so that you may know of my good fortune and rejoice for my sake. If you desire to give me something, it will be welcome, but it would be very improper for me to say what you should give me."

"In any case, you do not want antique jewelry."

She sighed. "No, I do not."

"Do not worry, I will come up with something suitable."

It was not very likely that he would have to send a gift. But it was nice to pretend. To think that he could go to Washington, that he could attend some of the parties there... That he would get to meet a lot of important people... that he would have the chance of telling Ed Meese what he thought of him to his face.

It was just a dream... a beautiful dream...

And he would wake up in Burke's hands...

"You see it, Verhoff? You see what is being done with your body? Are you happy with it?"

The voice came from nowhere. Verhoff's consciousness, half asleep as it was heard it... it reminded him... and he could hear... he could almost remember..

Barnabas screaming and begging...

Serve him right, he thought... now he wanted to go back to sleep.

"You never agreed to this. It is your body and it has been stolen from you."

"What you mean stolen? I am just sleeping. You are a dream, nothing more."

"You are a doctor. You cannot condone this. It goes against all medical ethics."

"So many things are against medical ethics."

"You are proud of being a doctor. You are proud of your knowledge and what you can do. Why throw it away? What would Sigmund Freud say?"

"Sigmund Freud knew nothing about vampires."

"But he knew you, and knew your integrity."

"He did not know about my... tastes. If he had known... well, maybe he would have made excuses for it, and blame the children for seducing me... but I did not touch any of them... not until..."

"Not until you found children that you could take to bed without guilt. Because you, in spite of everything are a man of integrity."

"Yes..."

"You cannot allow your body to be used by anyone else. You are in control. You are no one's instrument. You are Dr. Siegfried Verhoff, the unsung hero of the Freudian theory. You are a good doctor, and will not allow this perversion to take place."

"I... I have to stop it, don't I?"

"Yes. I will help you."