My body was sore, I could tell that much. The day previous to this one was all one big haze in my memory, I could only remember getting the Amaterasu and my kogatana, after that... nothing. I tried to open my eyes, but the light stabbed my nerves. "Ahuuuu..." I groaned. "My head!"

"Good to see your awake." The ship's doctor said.

"I feel like I got repeatedly run over by a semi." I moaned pulling the blankets over my head.

"I don't know what a semi is, but yeah, I'm sure I'd feel that way too, if I drank as much as you did last night."

Last night... I thought hard, That's right, after Shanks paid for the Amaterasu and kogatana we went to the bar, he started telling me about Luffy, then... then... A new pain quickly swept through my head. I let out another groan of pain.

"You should know that when Benn brought you in you were talking about hawks and aces."

Hawks and aces? I thought, Why would I talk about hawks and aces? I pondered this, when the blankets that had been protecting my eyes were thrown off, and some horrible tasting content shoved down my throat. I sat up immediately, coughing and sputtering. "What the hell?" I asked, now glaring at the doctor.

"Sorry, but if you were going to be anything like the captain when he gets a hang over like yours, it had to be done." He said it like it was something he did often. "I applaud you for not throwing up though, it means you've got great potential as a drinker."

"And I'm supposed to feel proud about that?"

"With the amount of drinking done on this ship? Yes, feel very very proud."

"Well doc, this was an enlightening conversation, but I'd like some more sleep." I said pulling the blanket back over my head.

There were no protests from the Doc, so I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

A warm day. A safe place.

I sat curled up on my couch, reading a book. The book itself seemed to be a blur, though I knew I liked it.

"Excuse me." A soft voice started pulling me from my reading. I looked up, a prickly feeling started on the back of my neck.

"Who's there?" I asked, slowly shutting my book.

"I'm really quite sorry for this, dear." The voice did sound repentant, but there was something else to the voice. In the blink an eye a blinding light flooded into the room. "Sorry, dear." The voice said again.

"Wha-!?" Suddenly I was being shaken.

The rude awakening was thanks to Shanks. "Leanah?"

I glared up at the rad haired man, "I was having a really good dream..." speaking of... I can't remember half of it... "So you better have a really good reason for waking me up."

"It's just that you were tossing and turning," he placed his hand on his hip, "It looked like you were having a nightmare to me."

"Chs. I wasn't having a nightmare, nightmares usually don't usually involve reading a good book."

"So you like to read?" Shanks asked with a child like sparkle in his eye.

"No." I didn't know what worried me more, the fact that I wasn't sure or the fact that I just wanted to deny that I liked anything that might be a part of my old life. "Though... I think in the book I was reading there was something about a place called Alabasta..."

Shanks brightened up again, "I know where Alabasta is! It's on the Grand Line."

I blinked propping myself up on my elbow, "The... Grand Line?"

"Yeah, it's a long strip of sea in the world, and arguably the most dangerous." Shanks leaned against the wall of the room, "I should be there right now, but I thought it'd be nice to visit the East Blue seeing as I hadn't been here in 9 years."

"Sooo... you're just slacking off."

"No." He defended, "I just... yeah... I am sorta just slacking off..."

I sighed, "Well, that's nice, but what am I gonna do when you all need to go back?"

Shanks squinted, stroking his chin thoughtfully. Then after a moment of thought, a huge grin spread across his face, "How 'bout you join our crew?"

"Ehhh? Me? Join your crew?" I swallowed, "I dunno Shanks... I mean we've only known each other for three days, and I mean, I don't know if I'm that good of a fighter. I think I'd be more of a draw back to your crew, then a true addition. Because, A crew should be able to complement each other right? And your crew already has all these great people, also I don't want to be a bother. Then there's the memory thing, I mean I've remembered a little more then when I first woke up, but still, 18 years worth of memories are sort of missing, I don't even know my own name yet. And be-"

"Breath Leanah!" Shanks said suddenly, and he was right, I hadn't taken a single breath since I started my rant.

"Sorry." I muttered, "I just don't feel right on this ship." I stared down at the wooden floor. "I get the feeling that I'm not supposed to be here, though truthfully, the only thing I would hate more right now, would be to leave."

"Then be our passenger," He offered, "Don't decide just yet, none of us are really in any hurry to get back."

I laughed, "I just became your extended vacation."

Shanks laughed as well. "Yeah, you did."

My heart felt lighter now, though it was still weighed down by some doubts I hoped to keep hidden from Shanks. I could tell that if he knew, he wouldn't be able to keep his nose out of my my business, being the good man he is.

I stood up and stretched out. "I think it's time I changed." I waved Shanks out. He left and I shut the door after him, I leaned against the door. "What do I do?" I asked myself. "He really seems dead set on me joining," I sighed, staring down at my arms, the memory of the scars hidden by my shirt still fresh in my mind. "What do I do?"