It was still early when Merlin woke up, the sun had barely begun to stain the sky. He felt slightly hung over, but that was probably more from the huge release of magic than the drink. Normally he only had a little bit of drink when eating dinner with Gaius as it was a treat. Intoxication and a secret that needed guarding with one's life were not two things that were easily mixed.

Memories of his appalling behavior from the night before shamed Merlin, normally he did not openly display raw emotions. He hadn't had the luxury of doing that since he lived with his mother. He did express himself to Gaius on occasion, but never the way he had last night. Even when he had those odd moments of feeling that he was a monster, he never broke down and sobbed.

"Note to self, drink and huge release of magic equals Merlin age five – do not repeat," at least if he was going to lose it, it had been Gwaine and Gaius who had been the witnesses and not the Prince of Prats. Gwaine at least liked him as a friend. He called him his best mate and Merlin actually believed him. It would be nice to tell Gwaine about his magic, to come clean about everything, and to not have to hide.

Merlin raked his hands through his short hair and stuffed them behind his head as he contemplated whether or not Gwaine would pull a Lancelot and step in for him, when it was his duty to protect Arthur. A water spot on the ceiling from where the roof had once leaked hovered above Merlin like an angry storm cloud as he tried to divine wisdom from it's shades of grays.

He couldn't.

He just couldn't.

Merlin sheepishly crept down his ladder hoping that Gaius wasn't about to descend upon him to see if he were possessed and quietly called out the physician's name, but no one answered.

The nice thing about living with someone who cared about you was that when the world fell into pieces, that person usually knew exactly what you needed to get back on your feet. Gaius had left a note saying that Merlin had the morning off and that he left breakfast for him. Merlin had been sucking on his lower lip, worried that Arthur might come barreling in demanding where he was last night. He wasn't sure how Gaius got him the morning off, but the way he felt – he didn't really care. He was just grateful. The pressure on his shoulders lifted and the knot that he felt growing between his eyebrows started to release.

It would be the first time in months that he had a few hours to himself.

There were times when Arthur offered rewards to Merlin and even though it was tempting to take him up on the offer – it was impossible to accept. He couldn't take a reward for saving Arthur's life. One day the secret would be revealed and if one coin passed between them – it would ruin the whole thing.

The problem was, his magic studies were going to get expensive soon. He needed to advance his abilities in order to keep Arthur safe. He also needed to advance his abilities in medicine. No one who went out with Arthur on patrol even knew the basics of wound care other than deep cuts need tourniquets.

If Morganna ever found out that he was Emrys, he wanted to make sure his mother was out of Ealdor. He couldn't risk the witch attacking his mother and holding her hostage in an attempt to get to Arthur. Merlin didn't even want to consider the possibility, but he had to factor in what Morganna might do if she were desperate enough. Not long ago, he could never imagine Morganna hurting his mother, now? Now, he could.

Merlin's stomach threatened to do a little flip in frustration as he pondered his situation. Somehow he needed to earn a few extra coins a week without his ambition getting in the way of helping Gaius or babysitting Arthur. It would be nice to have a skill other than magic. Magic was not going to be able to help him through this, but there had to be an answer.

Perhaps he should seek out the Great Dragon just to talk? "No. The Great Dragon doesn't understand that I'm a freak and a failure who is broke and needs to move his mother, have money for materials, and needs to make a few changes in my security. To him it's Destiny Destiny Destiny," Merlin thought to himself. It was true. The Great Dragon thought that Merlin was very special even though he thought Merlin was the rudest most impertinent youngster who ever dared to treat a dragon like a horse.

"This is just great, I feel totally helpless. I'm better than this," Merlin chided himself as he attempted to eat some of the porridge left by Gaius. It wasn't that bad and it wasn't clashing with his hangover however he didn't feel any better after he had eaten.

Merlin's eyes welled up and he defiantly brushed the tears away. Crying wasn't going to solve his problems. Squaring his shoulders, he decided that today he would make a difference. He would figure out how to solve his own problems! He would start off by giving the place a good cleaning. It had been a while since either one of them had gotten a chance to clean. That was always a good place to start since it never seemed to be a good idea to treat patients where there were things that could fly around and get stuck in the wounds.

Gaius had forbidden Merlin relying on his magic for "everyday" tasks, but cleaning their home wasn't an every day task. It wasn't even a monthly task. It was a whenever we can manage it task. It just didn't come regularly enough and when it did, it was often interrupted. Today it wouldn't matter. Merlin was going to get everything clean and organized – AND he was going to study medicine.

While Merlin studied and crunched his way through an apple, Arthur's clothes were spelled to correct themselves and adjust to the size that Merlin thought would accommodate the Prince, the floors were scrubbing themselves, the cabinets waxing themselves, and dust mixed with dried flowers self destructed in showers of blues and golds.

Prince Arthur was in a mood. The ever so perfect George, the servant without a flaw and without a personality - had been the servant who had graciously stepped in to fill Merlin's shoes. This meant there were no opinions, no comments about his behavior, and no moments of honesty. George's presence not only irritated Arthur, but it added insult to injury. Arthur had barely gotten any sleep at all before the overly neatly groomed poor imitation of Merlin greeted him with an obnoxiously grand breakfast.

It was enough to drive a man mad.

A lot of the male personal servants were starting to copy Merlin's style of dress. They wore his colors and neckerchiefs, but they wore better fabrics and were neater and cleaner about their appearance. Merlin had the second most prestigious serving job in all of Camelot and he just didn't seem to take any pride in the job. He never dressed for the occasion unless he was forced to wear the former ceremonial servants robes of Camelot.

He was a hard man to understand. One minute he would leap to drink poison to save Arthur's life, the next he's calling Arthur names while tramping around in the same old farmer's clothing that he had always worn. Merlin simply just did not have any pride or manners what-so-ever. Arthur had to admit that it was one of the reasons that he liked the boy, but he would prefer if it Merlin would display some pride in his station. It was actually an honor to serve him, after all.

Arthur's pride had been left stinging from all the things that Gaius had said to him. He just had never thought that the elderly gentleman would have it in him to say a cross word to anyone – nonetheless him. He hadn't expected to be told to leave. He hadn't expected Gaius to dare him to ever accuse him of ever plotting against Camelot ever again. He hadn't expected Gaius to demand that he respect his chambers as Gaius's home even though his home was in the palace.

It was as if Gaius had forgotten his place entirely.

Truthfully, it had hurt. To speak as he had, was treasonous. He could have the man executed, especially by implying that as a physician there would be numerous ways to kill his father or himself. It was just so out of character and Arthur could not even fathom what had provoked such an emotional and disgraceful display. Even when the Witchfinder had convicted him of sorcery, Gaius's confession was poignant instead of damning.

Arthur felt a lump growing in his throat and he didn't like the feeling at all.

It wasn't going to help dwelling on the fact that Gaius had been so angry with him because the old man was probably just feeling his age. He would probably soon be asking for retirement anyway. It wasn't Arthur's fault that Merlin was rubbish at gathering supplies. That Merlin wasn't fast enough. It was just picking flowers! How hard could it be to walk out side to a field or the forest and pick a plant? That's not hard. Arthur was sure that anyone at all could do that flower picking thing better and faster than Merlin.. Anyone. In fact, Arthur decided that Merlin probably spent most of the time he was flower picking, sitting down and gazing at clouds or something mind numbingly dull or what ever it is that lazy people do with their time.

Arthur's mind kept going back to Merlin and not just because Arthur wasn't getting his way. No. Working for Gaius did not excuse Merlin from his duties the night before and Gaius had not offered any excuse for Merlin. However that did not excuse Merlin for ditching his duties the night before. When Merlin finally did show up for work, Arthur was not going to show him any mercy. He wasn't taking any frustration out on Merlin either, this was not Gaius's fault. Merlin deserved this.

There was one thing Arthur was great at and that was making as much unpleasant work as possible for his manservant. At first it was to see if Merlin could be forced to quit, but after a while he grew fond of the wiry fellow and had even been impressed with his ability to accomplish near impossible lists of tasks.

There was one good thing about being sour, it would make for a great sword practice. When ever Arthur was frustrated, angry, or in a generally pissy mood – he always came out on top at practice. It would be a good time to challenge Gwaine, since the knight's skills were so fluid and well balanced it was impossible to beat him.

Most of his knights were spread out. Some were warming up and taking practice lunges at straw dummies. However the ones from the common families were all gathered around Leon, while Gwaine stood off to the side with his arms folded across his chest and his lips tightly squeezed together in a white line.

"Good Morning Men!" barked Arthur in what he thought was an appropriate way to greet his knights.

Many of his knights greeted him, Gwaine merely nodded. Arthur didn't see it.

Percival smacked Gwaine in the head. Arthur saw it.

"Something going on here?" Arthur accused, his eyes the color of sapphires glinted in the sunglight.

Gwaine smiled a painful smile, "No Sire," he drawled slowly, "Nothing is going on between me and Perce here. We're friends. We're best friends. Although he can't compete with my best mate, Merlin."

Still stinging from the night before, Arthur allowed a grim look on his face, "Merlin's your best mate, is he? Well, I feel sorry for you. He's extremely unreliable and lazy."

Elyan, Percival, and Leon all looked at Arthur as if they had unsaid accusations. They had grabbed Gwaine's arms, but Gwaine had only stood rigidly before Arthur, breathing heavily out his nose like a bull about to charge. "Merlin wouldn't want me to, he'd be upset with me. Merlin wouldn't want me to, he'd be upset with me," was the mantra that stayed his hand from reaching for his sword and disemboweling the Princess.

"What? Going to defend his maidenly honor?" teased Arthur, who couldn't help but lash back verbally. He'd been sparring with words with Merlin for years and it was his knee jerk reaction to adversity. The faces before him were anything but amused. Gwaine's had gone blank. His eyes were closed. He was standing straight and still, as if he were posing for a statue of virtue. Arthur was surprised that even Leon looked upset with him and Arthur wasn't sure what was going on.

"Okay, what is it? What's going on? Something's wrong, I can tell." Arthur begged the Leon who's red gold ringlets were dancing in a light breeze framing his head like a halo. Leon shook his head. Gwaine had told them what had happened when he took Merlin home. He dramatically spoke of a pure soul that couldn't even be ruined by drink that put everyone before himself. The problem was that they all knew him as a good man and it bothered them that He thought of himself as "not good enough" and "a joke." Gwaine spoke of dried apples and presents for mother and each and every one of the literally iron clad warriors softened. He swore them all to secrecy. He confessed to keep his own heart from breaking for it was to much for one soul to witness without overloading from the sheer unfairness of it all.

Percival's eyes were fast becoming red rimmed and welling up with unshed tears.

"Men?"

"Uh, Arthur, I think today is a bad day, morale wise. Perhaps it would be best if.." the diplomatic voice of Leon tried to reason with Arthur.

Red faced, angry, and with pent up aggression from the evening before Arthur stood before his men vibrating with … indecision.

"Fine. You guys, you can go clean the boots in the armory. I'll spar with someone else. Meanwhile, when you finally find your voices you will explain this to me. I'd not even bother with this, but we have guests and I don't want to throw you in the dungeons with them here. I think I am being more than fair!" snapped Arthur, who was expecting to get an excuse or an explanation so that the knights didn't have to do boot duty. When they turned and sullenly walked off to the armory without a word of complaint, he felt lost.

"First Gaius, now the knights? What's going on?" whined Arthur.

"Gaius, do you want me to make the burn salve or do you want me to make to make the chest plaster?"

No one was more proud of Merlin than Gaius when ever the young man showed any interest at all in the art of healing. "What do you think we need, Merlin?"

"Burn salve, there are sorcerers everywhere," replied the overly paranoid warlock with a mock smile on his face.

Gaius leaned on his palms as he gave into his laughter before he wheezed out a reprimand, "don't you ever let anyone ever hear you say that. You know, when I was preparing to be a physician I also had to worry about money."

Out of all the subjects that they had talked about – money had never been one of them. Gaius always intended to speak to Merlin about it, but when the boy came to live with him – he had found a job right away. He had found a purpose right away. Money was a subject that might bring things to light that he had no intention of sharing without Hunith's permission for even though Merlin was not his son, he was his nephew. It was another one of those family secrets that remained unspoken. Thanks to Uther's purge of all things magic, it was best to hide all family members – magical or not.

"Chest plaster?" The question brought Gaius out of his musings and back to the problem at hand.

"Yes, Merlin. We'll need it for the ailments of the next season which is almost upon us. Half of Camelot will suffer from fluid in the lungs, and – well - anyway" Gaius plucked a jar of beez wax out of Merlin's hands, "You know, remedies can make a bit of money."

"We never charge for remedies!"

Gaius's compensation for his work did come from the King. Treatment for the sick and ailing was one of the benefits of living in Camelot and attracted many people to the kingdom. Most people were afraid of magic and would not approach a druid encampment even if it was a life and death emergency, and so the demands of the court physician were higher than any other healer in the realm.

"No, Merlin, we don't. However, there are remedies that you could make and you could sell to the apothecary. Remember the Witchfinder's eye-drops? People seek out more than just cures for ailments that threaten their lives. They want things that make them look and smell better," Gaius explained as delicately as he could, "and there are other items that the King won't allow me to make for people. Basically, he won't pay for it. And this means they do not come to see me for certain things."

"Such as?"

The reply was the systematic piling of a short stack of dusty books that Merlin needed to read. He was told to study, to think, and decide for himself what people would want. Like the damn dragon, Gaius was keen on the teaching method that the student need to discover knowledge for himself.

"You can do that in your spare time, when you have a moment. You can use my tools if you need to and then make things yourself. Luckily what you will be doing and what I will be doing use the same kind of ingredients so it won't be that difficult to dry more plants or collect more honey or what ever it is that you will need. Oh the Gods, I'm sorry Merlin, but the morning is over. You'll have to go tend to Arthur." Even though Merlin was taller than Gaius, he seemed to shrink before the physicians eyes. "Merlin?" prompted Gaius gently.

Lips trembling and eyes darting, Merlin slowly raised his countenance to meet Gaius's, "Sorry, I guess I'm to prideful. I'm not eager to race to Arthur's side with the knowledge that every time he tells me how bad I am at my job, how someone else should have my job, and how little I am worth – he actually does believe it."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is. I know it is. Because there's one thing I know about Arthur. He's the type who rewards people for their efforts. My efforts, aren't good enough," with soft words and sad eyes, Merlin gave a fragile smile to his mentor before he exited their chambers. Gaius had given him hope, but now he had to face Arthur and he deserved to be yelled at – which made it worse.

Gaius lifted his eyes towards the heavens and said a prayer to the old religion to grant him patience. He asked the Gods to watch over Merlin and to bring him happiness. After listening to profound silence he did the only thing left to do, he went back to tying camomile to the drying rack.

Nothing this week was going his way. When he went to the kitchen to pickup food for Arthur's midday meal, the cook tried to add extra meat slices to the plate. Merlin wasn't sure, but he guessed that he was supposed to snatch the extra pieces from the plate. They argued about portions. Everyone was always trying to get him to eat meat, why not bread? Why not fruit? He could manage a sackful of blackberries. Meat always made him feel lazy and just sat in his stomach for hours. He ignored the sneaky attempt to provide him with a bit of food to nick off the plate and told her that Arthur's belt couldn't handle extra meat.

A feminine giggle made him turn his head.

"You're really funny. You dare talk about your master that way?" asked the really pretty, very curvy in all the right places, dimpled, brunette, who smelled nice and apparently liked rude statements. His eyes drank in her features. Even her forehead was perfect. Who knew that a human could have a perfect forehead? He dared not look into her eyes, he knew he would lose himself in them and then he would be no good for speaking for the rest of the day.

Merlin blushed as he contemplated the golds and reds that highlighted her brunette locks as he struggled to find an answer, "Sometimes that's the only way to get people to listen."

She giggled again, "You're so strange."

That was the signal to run.

"I've got to go."

The royal serving tray went high up over his head as he quickly vacated the kitchen without a second glance at Little Miss Smell Me Oh So Good. Heart thumping in his chest, Merlin retreated. For the first time he was happy to have the excuse that he needed to attend Arthur. Destiny would never allow him near a woman without killing her off. There was only one Avalon. He couldn't preserve a pretty girl for a timeless eternity, could he? No. That was to cruel.

Merlin sniffed as he approached Arthur's door. He took a deep breath and opened the door gently with his free hand.

"Sire?"

Arthur smirked.

The manservant looked down demurely.

Arthur stood up from his desk while Merlin quietly approached the table and placed Arthur's midday meal, appropriately on the table. He filled the goblet and straightened the cutlery. He then pulled out his chair and waited for the royal backside to fill the seat.

Arthur stared.

"You know you are doing it wrong. Again." Arthur informed Merlin smugly obviously enjoying the naked display of nerves before him, "You are supposed to pull out the chair and then pour my drink."

Merlin did not say anything. There was no clever retort and no eye rolling. He just stood there while waiting for Arthur to take his seat. Arthur did cautiously, half expecting it to be pulled away even though Merlin wasn't known for physical insolence unless it was to get him out of bed.

"So why did you miss out last night?" demanded Arthur. He honestly expected a perky retort. He did not expect Merlin to mumble, "I went to the tavern with Gwaine last night."

"You went to the tavern," drawled the Prince, anger building visibly as he puffed up like a toad, "drinking...with Gwaine? When we have guests that we need to impress every night with assurances that Camelot is stable and runs smoothly?"

Merlin nodded while avoiding eye contact. He offered no excuses. He just stood resoltely.

"I should fire you!"

"You should, I agree. I wouldn't blame you if you did. Before you do, I need to bring back your clothes that I washed and mended, uh, before I went out with Gwaine. I'll be... right back."

Merlin's voice had barely been a whisper, but Arthur had heard every word as if the manservant had shouted at him. Tavern. Drinking. Gwaine. Arthur wasn't sure who to skin or if he should skin them both!

When Merlin returned with a basket full of neatly laundered clothing and linens, the edge of Arthur's temper had dulled. Despite Merlin neglecting his official duties, he still managed a large amount of work. He didn't realize that Merlin had just done the work with magic, but what he didn't know wouldn't kill him. In fact, magic was what had been keeping him alive.

"Sit." Arthur pointed at a chair. "Explain to me, why you decided to go to the tavern instead of perform your duties, Merlin! Explain to me why I shouldn't fire you!"

"Just fire me or forgive me," replied a depressed Merlin.

"Fire you or forgive you? What has gotten into your head?"

"Yes, you want to. I don't know why you keep me. I'm terrible at my job. You say so all the time. Why keep me? Is it that you pity me?" The bottom lip was disappearing as Merlin struggled to keep it from trembling not realizing that his entire body was quaking visibly. He didn't want to cry in front of the worlds biggest prat.

However he didn't have to worry to much about the rest of the inquisition for Arthur had reached his breaking point. He swiftly advanced on his manservant and grabbed Merlin by the back of his jacket. Lifting Merlin out of his seat and off of his feet in one smooth motion he threw Merlin into a wall. Arthur's pinned Merlin to the wall with one arm pressed against his chest as if Arthur just wanted to make his manservant disappear. It was as if he could thrust him physically into the wall and leave him there, but the frail man's body wouldn't meld with stone.

At arms length, eyes locked.

"Oh you are not going to run. I know you. I know that look. Something is wrong. Almost everyone I've come across has been cross and unpleasant. I know visiting kingdoms puts pressure on us all, but I thought you could take it Merlin. If you couldn't, you should have said something to me. You were drinking with Gwaine last night so maybe you have some idea why is Gwaine pissed at me?" demanded Arthur pushing against his servant's chest to punctuate his words.

Merlin's adams apple bobbed, but there was no answer.

"You live with Gaius, do you have any idea why did Gaius told me off?" demanded Arthur.

Merlin's twitching increased and now extended down to his knobby knees. Guilt poured off of the warlock. It was almost tangible. There was no way Arthur could miss it or ignore it. Merlin tried to mentally go through the names of the flowers he'd memorized so far and their uses, but even his discipline was failing him.

"Why are you acting like an idiot? You're just going to stand there? What aren't you telling me? How many times have I forgiven you for going to the tavern, Merlin? How many times have you ended up going there anyway? And now you're acting all timid and guilty – saying that I should fire you or forgive you? Are you trying to drive me crazy? Do you think I need to deal with YOU right now? You should first decide whether or not you want to keep your job or if you want nights at the tavern."

Dark blue eyes darted around the room as if looking for a way out, a hero, an escape route – anything. Merlin placed a fine boned hand over Arthur's wrist delicately and then lightly pushed down as if he could gently remind the royal that it might be a good idea to let go. It was enough to intimidate and demoralize without squashing a human body, wasn't it?

"Merlin!"

"You are hurting me," said servant, breathlessly a strange light seemed to flicker in his eyes for just a moment. Arthur frowned. There was no way that he was hurting Merlin. He reduced the pressure, but he did not let go.

It was at that time Arthur's last living functioning and "loyal" relative, Lord Aggravaine or Lord Aggravating knocked and entered the Prince's resplendent royal chambers. The mood suited the dark lord just fine. Angst, instability, and delicately laced through with bits of emotional betrayal – it was just lovely.

"Sire, King Jerrod and his son request your company," Aggravaine's voice was a purr tinged gently with personal amusement before he changed it to concern as he took in the scene being played out, "is anything wrong, Arthur? What has Merlin done?"

"He has earned himself a day in the stocks," explained Arthur before he commanded, "Arrange it."