Hey everyone. I can't guarantee all of my updates will come out this quickly but I'm on a roll so I'm going with it. Someone commented asking whether or not i am changing the rating to M due to Olitz spice. I wasn't planning on adding too much, honestly i was trying to refrain from it all together, but you all know me, I can't stop. With that being said, the rating has officially changed to M and just in time because they kids are away so Olitz can play. As for your thoughts on Fitz, I love the fact that it is split straight down the middle when it comes to Fitz having the diary. I agree with the ones that said Fitz should tell Liv and let her decide if he reads it. Liv is a very private person. However, when I pictured this update, I also pictured Liv walking in on Fitz and the kids reading it and the hell that would break loose. So, I guess we'll have to see what this update reveals. Thank you all so much for the amazing reviews. Many of you had me crying! Enjoy! XO

Fitz started the fireplace in their bedroom as Liv was taking her shower. He pulled out the massage oils and filled their wine glasses with grape juice. He had the "smooth mix" geared up and he was ready to hit play, the moment Liv came out.

Fitz took a seat on his side of the bed and glanced at the drawer of his nightstand. As much as he wanted to read what Liv had written, he couldn't help but to feel ashamed he was even thinking it. Fitz heard the shower stop and sat back as he waited for his wife to emerge from their bathroom.

Liv stepped out of the shower and heard soft music playing. She smiled as she finished lotioning up and wrapped a towel around her body. She stepped out of the bathroom as the smooth sounds of Sade began to fill the room.

Liv looked around and took in everything Fitz had done in the short period of time she was in the shower. Candles and the fireplace illuminated the room giving it a soft romantic glow. There were rose petals on the bed, and Fitz held two wine glasses, one in each hand.

Liv climbed onto the bed next to Fitz and accepted her glass. She sipped on the grape juice and once again found herself smiling.

"Why Mr. Grant, are you trying to get me drunk tonight?" Liv said jokingly.

"Only on love." Fitz responded as he stared into her lust filled eyes.

"Then I guess you'd better get to it."

Liv turned to set her glass down, and returned all of her attention to Fitz. He sat there for a moment just taking in all of her beauty. Even at 39 and swollen with his child, Liv was the sexiest thing Fitz had ever laid eyes on.

Fitz's mouth came crashing down on Liv's and she moaned as his tongue sought entry into her mouth. Liv loved Fitz for more reasons than she could count, but the fact that he knew how to make her feel her sexiest, even if she didn't believe it was the topic of the moment.

While their tongues caressed and dueled for their dominance in the others mouth, Fitz's mind and his erection were engaged in a battle of their own. He wanted nothing more than to make love to his wife right then and there, but his conscience was telling him they needed to talk first.

God, if you're listening, please give me a sign...

Liv pulled back slightly, tugging Fitz's bottom lip between her teeth. "Make love to me Fitz." Liv moaned as his hands began massaging her breasts. Fitz pulled Liv to him so she was now straddling his waist. The fact that her pregnancy forced her to be on top was something Fitz couldn't even be mad at. Just as Liv began to line him up with her core, Fitz stopped her.

"Livvie, we need to talk."

"Ok, we'll talk later. Right now, I need you Fitz." Liv said as she continued stroking his erection.

SHITFUCK!

Fitz grabbed Liv's hips, halting her movements and set her down on the bed next to him. He took a deep breath to collect his thoughts before covering her up with their sheet. He didn't need any distractions after the case of blue balls he was positive he had just inflicted on himself. Fitz sat for a moment just looking at Liv, trying to figure out where to begin.

"Fitz, say something. You're beginning to scare me." Liv replied as she watched the expressions on Fitz's face darken.

"Livvie, I think I know what's been going on with the kids lately."

"What? What's is it? Fitz, whatever it is, we can fix this, together."

Fitz sighed and began to explain. "When I was removing the sheets off of Dani's bed, I found something. A book."

"What book Fitz?" Liv choked out as she wasn't sure exactly what she was up against.

"A diary. I'm not sure how much they read, and as much as I wanted to, I didn't read what was inside. But I figured you needed to know because you know what you've written and you'd be better prepared to deal with what comes with it."

"Ok, what diary Fitz. I have quite a few of them."

Liv's heart began pounding as Fitz turned and retrieved the book from the nightstand. He handed Liv the purple and white book and watched as Liv's facial expression changed from one of shock to worry.

How far had they gotten?

"Fitz, what prompted the conversation about Georgia? Who brought it up?" Liv asked as she opened the book.

"Four did. Why?"

"Because Fitz, this diary is what they've been questioning, so I think it's safe to assume they stopped there. I pray they stopped there."

Fitz looked at Liv and couldn't help the smile that was forming on his face. She wrote about him, about them, he was sure of it. Whatever she wrote had to have been good. The smile immediately dropped when Fitz recalled all of the bad that happened as well.

"Livvie?"

Liv handed the book over to Fitz and responded "Read for yourself."

"Livvie, are you sure?"

Liv hesitated for a moment then responded. "Yes, I'm sure. We are going to confront our children about their actions and we are going to answer their questions. We can't do that if you don't know what we're up against."

"Ok.."

"Ok."

Fitz opened to the first page and began to read. When he got to the second entry, the day they met, the light bulb turned on in Fitz's head as he read about Liv saying he didn't screw his wife. Fitz continued reading as the questions surrounding their children's rapidly changing mood were being answered page by page.

Fitz continued reading, thinking things were innocent enough when he stopped at the page about their trip to Georgia. His mind drifted off again as he recalled the events of that night. Once she realized he was caught up in the memory, Liv nudged Fitz so he could continue reading. As he went on, he realized the last page that was marked was a fairly innocent page. It was just Liv going on some tangent about Sally Langston. He had to laugh as he read how Liv referred to Sally as "A self righteous right winged nut job with a God complex, who probably needed Rotor Rooter to come and clean out her plumbing because lords knows Daniel either wasn't hitting it or he wasn't hitting it right."

Liv giggled as she recalled that day. It took Fitz, Cyrus, Mellie, and half of the campaign staff to hold her tiny 5' 4" frame and prevent her from causing bodily harm to Fitz's running mate. Liv had gotten a phone call from Edison that morning and was already in a bad mood, so when Sally made the comment that no 28 yr old woman should be without a husband or a child, and if they were, they needed prayer as they were probably gay, a 28 yr old Liv took offense to that statement.

Fitz looked at Liv as it was clear she already knew what was on the next page. She nodded with a blank face for him to continue. Fitz turned the page and began to read.

February 14, 2004

I know I probably shouldn't be writing this but I can't help it. Today began as the worst Valentine's Day ever. I had to sit and watch Fitz and Mellie fight for two hours in the morning, then step out in public pretending to be the perfect couple, all before she left that afternoon to head back to Santa Barbara for a few days. Fitz had given everyone the day off, so I didn't even have work to keep my mind from the morning's events.

We were invited to a... Guess... That's right, yet ANOTHER pancake breakfast, this time hosted by the Blue Knights, a group of retired police officers. The pancakes were cute as they were shaped into hearts and covered in sliced strawberries. Still doesn't change the fact that I am so sick of pancakes.

Watching Fitz fawn over Mellie was even rougher than trying and failing to eat yet another pancake breakfast with a smile. But I only have myself to blame as I am the one forcing him to show the world that he loves his wife. In the middle of the breakfast, I thought I would die right there as Mellie planted a huge kiss on his lips. The room went wild as he pulled her in and returned the kiss with equal fervor. Unable to take anymore, I made my way back to my room.

The sickness I felt watching them kiss quickly turned into depression as I opened my door and noticed a trail of rose petals leading up to my bed. There were candles everywhere, and soft music was playing. When I walked further into the room, there were two covered platters set up on the table with champagne on ice in the middle.

I couldn't fight the tears that flowed from my eyes. Never in my life had anyone ever done anything so romantic for me before. How am I so lucky yet so cursed to have Fitz in my life?

I began to sob even harder as I noticed two dozen long stemmed white roses on my dresser. Was this man real? Of course he is. He's just married. My married lover who is running for president set up a romantic Valentine's breakfast for two. He set up a romantic setting for his mistress.

I turned to make my way to the bed and jumped as I saw him sitting back against the headboard. I hadn't even heard him come in. I couldn't help it. Between the vision of him kissing Mellie, and the beautiful surprise he had waiting for me in my room.. our room, I ran over to him and folded into his arms.

He held me close and whispered everything I needed to hear in that moment as I broke down against his chest. He's the only one I allow to see me in my most vulnerable state. He's the only one that makes me feel secure enough to truly be me. Once I calmed down, we had a breakfast that wasn't pancakes. I have never been so happy to see an omelet in my life! I don't think I have ever eaten so much ever. We worked it off though. Over and over again all over the hotel room.

I never thought I'd admit this, but...

I. AM. IN. LOVE. with Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III. I know this is just a fling, and he'll never feel the same way about me, but I can't help it and I hate myself for that. I can't control myself or my emotions when I'm with him. I Olivia Carolyn Pope am in love with a married man. I often wonder what my life will be like once he's in the White House and whatever this is we have ends. Will he think of me? Will he remember me? Or am I just another fling?

What have I done?

OCP

Fitz looked up at Liv and they both had tears in their eyes. He never knew how hard things were for Liv, even during the trail. She would open up to him, but that day stood out in both of their memories. It was the day they gave of themselves in the most vulnerable of forms. Neither were at the point where they felt comfortable saying I love you just yet, but the love was there, and it showed with every breath they took.

"Livvie..."

"Are you going to continue?" Liv asked as she diverted her gaze from Fitz's eyes.

"What do you want Livvie? What do you need? We can finish this tomorrow, but I... I didn't know this was how you felt. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, my heart belonged to you. 11, almost 12 years later I can safely say it was definitely love at first sight. I hope you realize that now... Mrs. Grant."

Liv's head shot up as Fitz spoke just two words that reminded her that all of her insecurities back then may have been valid at the time, meant nothing now. She was Mrs. Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III and she would be for the rest of her life.

"Fitz... Make love to me."

"Are you sure Livvie?"

"Yes, we'll deal with the rest and the kid's punishment tomorrow. Right now I... Make love to me Fitz."

Fitz laid Liv down and began kissing her with a passion and urgency he hadn't felt in years. They were both vulnerable and needed this more than anything. He began kissing his way down her body and smiled as her heard her gasp when he drew her sensitive nipple into his mouth. He repeated the same process with her other nipple and proceeded to work his way lower down her body. He frowned when Liv sat up, stopping him in his tracks.

"Not tonight Fitz, at least not right now, I need to feel you inside me." Liv pleaded with saddened eyes.

Fitz nodded laid Liv down on her side and positioned himself behind her. He lifted her leg and placed it over his thigh before gently pushing into her core. Liv cried out as this angle allowed Fitz to fill her in a way she had missed for so long. It was intimate, vulnerable, but she had never felt safer in her life.

Fitz cupped her tender breasts in his hands and he began thrusting into her at a slow and sensual pace. Liv felt the stress of the moment leave her body as Fitz continued to profess his love in the most intimate of ways. He whispered in her ear, telling her how much he loved and cared for her. He couldn't stress enough how he couldn't imagine him living a life without her in it. How he hadn't even begun to truly live until she entered his life.

Liv couldn't stop the tears that were falling from her eyes as she listened to Fitz profess his love for her. Fitz felt Liv's walls clenching down around him and knew just what she needed to push her over the edge.

"You are my heart, my would, my reason for being. You make me want to be a better man. I am a better man because if you. I will love you beyond my last breath Liv. No matter what happens we are in this together. I love you sweet baby. I love you Mrs. Grant."

Those words were the final push that sent Liv over a cliff, screaming Fitz name. Never in her life had she experienced an orgasm so powerful and so fulfilling. Never in her life, had she felt more loved than in that moment.

Fitz lowered Liv's leg but their bodies remained connected. He held her close and began rubbing circles around her belly.

"You know, I planned to give you a massage tonight." Fitz said as he placed kisses on Liv's shoulder.

Liv looked over and saw the tray of massage oils and smiled. "I guess I'll have to take you up on that after we deal with the children."

Fitz let out a laugh, and Liv gasped as she felt Fitz growing inside of her once again.

"Ready for round two so soon Mr.. President?"

"Well when I have Olivia Pope as my wife, who could blame me."

The two made love well into the wee hours of the morning. Their bodies finally spent, Fitz ran into the bathroom and cleaned himself up. He emerged shortly after and did the same for Liv. Once finished, Fitz climbed back into bed with Liv and wrapped his arms around her. She rested her head on his chest, and immediately began drifting off to sleep.

They would definitely deal with the rest tomorrow.

So, Fitz told Liv about the diary and was not only rewarded for his good behavior, he also got to read what was inside. However, with reward comes a price, and Fitz is now going to go through the emotions of reading how Liv felt and saw herself while they were still sneaking around. I promise nothing devastating bad will happen, but it could be interesting to see how Fitz reacts to Liv's true feelings during that time in their lives. He may also gain understanding on why she ran away from them.