Chapter 12

Jake was easily bribed with another ten bucks, which was great because watching TV with him around was always a pain in the ass. The kid talks non-stop about nothing. So irritating. I had no idea who he got that annoying trait from. Probably our dad.

Once we were alone, Bella set me straight about what was actually happening in Jasper's room. I gotta say, Alice sounded an awful lot like a cat and I wasn't totally convinced.

"So, anyway, did you wanna make out again now, or watch something on Netflix?" I had to ask – I didn't want to just assume we could go right back to it.

"Definitely make out, but you should put the TV on just in case your parents come home early."

"Smart thinking!" I flipped through the listing, not really paying attention, and settled on some random movie. We started watching but soon we were more absorbed in kissing than the show.

Now, I'm not one to kiss and tell….

Bwahaha! Who am I kidding? I totally touched her boobs again! Go me!

We worked up an appetite and decided to take a break a while later. Bella left her bra off, but slipped her t-shirt on. It was a good look for her. We made some microwave popcorn and grabbed a couple of sodas before moving back to in the living room. As we sipped our drinks we watched a bit of the movie.

The male main character was making himself some dinner and his doorbell rang. When he answered it, there stood some hot blonde in a black trench coat and six-inch heels.

While looking at him with the most expressive come-fuck-me eyes I'd ever seen, the woman slowly untied the belt and removed her coat. As it fell to the floor, the camera panned back to show her dressed in a black lacy push up bra, matching panties, and thigh high nylons. As much as I liked Bella's plain white bra, the black lacy one that girl had on was also acceptable, and definitely got my attention.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Bella's eyebrows rise as she reached into the bowl on her lap for more popcorn.

Without batting an eye, the couple on screen united, their mouths colliding. She was pulled into the house, not even stumbling over the coat as they kissed their way into the kitchen – impressive. He slammed her up against the fridge, her fingers snared into his hair as they made out like there was no tomorrow.

I thought of three things.

One – close the door, your neighbors may walk by.

Two – that has to be cold on her back – it was a stainless steel fridge.

Three – she should take off the death shoes before she breaks her ankle.

The characters on screen weren't phased by any of that.

Instead, her leg hitched up and over his hip; his hand roughly grabbed her thigh before he slid it up and cupped her backside. Then he spanked her - hard enough to leave a mark. I was mentally taking notes; this guy was oozing confidence.

His mouth moved off hers and made a wet trail across the top of her chest. No, seriously, a wet trail - the camera picked it up and to me it looked like a snail's tracks. Disgusting. But apparently it was enjoyable as confirmed by the purring sound the woman made. Purring, not meowing - Alice should be watching to take notes. The purring was hot.

Huh.

His hands snaked behind her and in one fluid motion he ripped the bra right off her. That was one way to get past the Fork Knox clasp. The material was tossed haphazardly behind him, and he cocked an eyebrow at the girl. Now that I needed to learn how to do. As he lazily traced his tongue over the nipple, her head fell back against the fridge; mine lolled against the couch.

And man, that guy could multitask. His free hand – the one not groping the boob – was toying with the edge of her panties, and she was moaning his name, begging him to touch her down there.

It was pretty hot but then I got to thinking. He'd just been in the kitchen cooking. My God, woman, beg him to wash his hands first because in the last scene he was cutting up raw chicken. He'd probably give her salmonella poisoning where a woman certainly wouldn't want salmonella poisoning.

She didn't seem to mind. Salmonella be damned.

Then her panties were pushed aside and I got a glimpse of her… you know. Except it had no hair. None. Bald as an eagle! Sure as fuck beat the pants off the hairy beavers I'd seen in my dad's magazines. WOW.

Bella started to choke on popcorn. I was so enthralled with what I was watching I didn't even ask if she was okay.

And I started wondering if Bella's, you know, looked like that. Our make out sessions had all been strictly above-the-waist but after this, damn, I was going to have to venture south, and soon!

Back to the movie…

The dude's mouth was sucking on her boob – like, hard – and his fingers were sliding in and out of her… you know. Bella gave an exaggerated sigh and picked up her iPhone. Apparently she wasn't interested. Personally, I was completely entertained – mouth gaped, eyes wide and dick twitching.

Bella sat beside me, searching Facebook, looking rather bored by it all. The truth of the matter - the whole thing was turning me on. Big time. All I wanted to do was run upstairs and take care of business. Instead, I tried to shrink my boner by thinking disgusting thoughts.

Jasper and Alice's humping sounds.

My parents showering together.

Ketchup on eggs.

Nothing worked.

On screen, main character dude's jeans and boxers were shed and, wow, his dick was huge.

The woman got on her knees and licked him from base to tip. Oh my God! I would've combusted if that were me. She licked him like she was devouring an ice cream cone that was melting in the heat of summer. And then, you're never going to believe this, she took his whole cock inside her mouth!

There were no words.

Seriously.

I needed a minute.

Actually, I'm pretty sure fifteen seconds would suffice. Even that was being generous.

Eventually, the woman stepped out of her underwear and massive cock dude picked her up, her long legs wrapping around his waist. If Bella expected that of me I was going to have to start going to the gym and lifting some weights.

I scratched my head. Why was he picking her up? They weren't going to do it like that were they? Against the fridge? Standing up? How?

Ooh!

And before I could wonder how that would even fit in there, I was left with no doubt. He impaled her. Hard. The screaming she was doing didn't seem to be from pain. Whatever Jasper was doing with Alice was totally wrong, because this woman was far from meowing, that was for damn sure.

I started counting how many times he rammed into her. I didn't even need that many pumps to jerk off. This man was a machine! My idol! My—

"What the hell are you kids watching?"

As Dad's voice boomed into the room, Bella and I both jumped up. Our bowls of popcorn dumped onto the floor and my Coke joined it. Yeah, that didn't make us look guilty at all.

Mom let out a gasp. I assumed it was from seeing the massive cock on the big screen, but it could have also been because I was pitching a tent. I grabbed a pillow and tried to cover up before Bella saw.

Too late.

I'm not sure who blushed more – Mom, Bella, or me.

In the midst of the chaos Dad found the remote but instead of turning the show off, he turned the surround sound on so the entire room, all eight friggin' speakers, were blasting out grunts, groans, the sound of bodies slapping together, and a running commentary by massive cock boy and hairless wonder.

"Fuck me harder, baby!"

"Carlisle! Turn it off!"

"Right there, baby! Yes! Yes!"

"Esme, I'm trying. What the hell? Arrrggg!"

"I'm coming! I'm coming!"

Dad finally managed to silence the room by pressing pause.

Pause, people.

The screen was frozen with the man's massive dick poised to slide back in; the woman pinching her own nipple, her mouth open in mid-orgasmic scream.

Awesome. No, seriously, it was an awesome visual.

Except my parents were seeing it as well. Not awesome.

You'd think embarrassment would shrink a boner. Wrong.

Finally, Dad managed to turn the television off, thank God.

I tried my best to play it cool. "So, you're home early. How was your night?"

Both my parents glared at me, arms crossed over their chests.

"I, uh, think I should head home," Bella suggested quietly.

"I'll walk you," I quickly volunteered. "Here, don't forget your bra."

Yeah, I'm a dumb ass.

"Not so fast, young man." Dad looked around. "Where are your brothers and sister?"

"Jake's in bed."

"And Jasper?"

"Jazz and Alice are upstairs. Either they were playing with a kitten or Alice makes some weird sounds." Bella jabbed her elbow into my ribs. Sorry, but if I was going to get in shit, I was taking my brother down with me.

"What? There better not be a cat - he knows you're allergic!"

"That's what I said, Mom!" I whined.

She left the room to bring them downstairs. I hoped he got in supreme shit if there was a cat. I still wasn't convinced a person could make that meowing sound.

"Where's Rosalie?"

"Studying at the library?" It came out as a question.

"Studying my ass. It's 10:30, she should have been home an hour and a half ago. Where is she?" Dad was pissed.

"She's with Emmett. He's a friend of Jasper's. I dunno where he lives, though."

Bella and I stood there awkwardly as my father glared at me, demanding to know Emmett's last name. A guilty looking Alice and Jasper came downstairs, him clad only in his boxers and without a kitten. WTF? Bella was right. Jazz gave Dad Emmett's address and directions. Ten minutes later, Dad was driving both Alice and Bella home and on his way to break down Emmett's door to bring Rosalie home.

Mom told Jasper and me to wait in the living room while she made herself a cup of tea.

I turned to my brother once we were alone. I was determined to prove that Bella was wrong.

"Did you have a cat in your room?"

"What?"

"I thought I heard you playing with a cat in your room."

Jasper snorted. "I was playing with a different sort of pussy."

My mouth hung open. Bella was right!

"I thought you said you and Alice weren't doing that?"

Jasper gave me a smug look. "Things change. For the better."

I looked around for Mom and lowered my voice.

"Can I ask you a question?" Jasper shrugged so I continued. "Does Alice have hair, down there?"

My brother punched my arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" I rubbed the spot but I already knew there'd be a bruise by morning.

"That's my girlfriend you're talking about, loser. God!"

I took that as a no.

"What about Mom and Rosalie?"

"Oh my God! Don't talk to me. Just don't!"

We sat together in silence after that. When Dad got home, Rosalie was ushered into the living room and sat beside us looking just as guilty as the rest of us.

Just as they were about to start their lecture, cue Jake wandering into the living room, rubbing his eyes.

"Mommy? Dad? Are you home?"

I snorted at his use of 'Mommy'.

She totally fell for it and immediately snuggled him into a hug. "Hi, baby. Yeah, we're home. Why are you up?"

"I had a bad dream earlier and when I came downstairs no one was here. I was so scared." Jake sniffled for effect.

"Why you little sh—"

"Jasper, don't. Can't you see he's upset? Come on, sweetheart, let me tuck you back in."

"Thanks, Mommy." He slipped his hand into hers and was led back up to his room. Such a punk. Smart little fucker though.

As soon as they were gone, Dad lit into us.

"Your mother and I are very disappointed in each of you. We thought we could trust you, but apparently not."

He droned on and on and on. I tuned him out. Eventually we all mumbled an apology – more sorry for having been caught than for disobeying, but whatever.

"What should I do about punishments?"

I raised my hand because I had a suggestion.

"Maybe it should be given out according to what base we got to."

"Are you really that stupid?" Rosalie rolled her eyes at me.

"What?" According to that, I assumed I'd be in the best position.

"It was a rhetorical question, son. But I'll keep that in mind for next time."

As it turned out, we were grounded for two weeks. No TV, no video games, no friends over after school or on the weekends, and extra household chores. Life sucked but, hey, I got in some quality make out time before we were busted so it wasn't all bad.

In the privacy of my room later that night, I took out my journal.

My parents walked in on Bella and I

Watching a girl doing a guy

Dad paused the show and mom was shocked

All I could see was the guy's big cock.

Now I'm grounded for disobeying a basic house rule

And have to come straight home from school

I can't see Bella outside of class at all

Which really sucks a fat donkey ball

But I'll have the memory of Bella's naked rack

To imagine when I whack.

So it was worth getting in shit

Because I got to see her tit.

Thanks for reading and for your kind reviews

I reply to them all because I like to shmooze.

This story was featured on RobAttack dot com

Thank you Midnight Cougar - you da bomb!

Yes, this Edward is clueless, naive and a little but dumb

But doesn't that make the fic that much more fun?