NOTE: The two new soldiers are NOT NOT NOT in the book. They and commander Jacobs were made up, I didn't want to confuse anything and I needed new character types for this story anyway.

"Thanks." I replied curtly. Gale was just giving me this half-smirk that managed to piss me off even further. We were clearly not on friendly terms, so why was he acting like it? Only yesterday he had nearly cursed me out for wanted to become a soldier. Now here he was, standing in the same squad as I was. Hot anger flooded my extremeties, but I bit my tongue. Gale issues could wait. Finding out what the hell I was doing here seemed a little more imperative at the moment. A snarl from behind them broke up the tense reunion.

"I'm glad you all are already aquainted." I turned on my heel and saw a huge, hulking man with a grey beard and shiny salt and pepper hair. His jaw was comically strong, and there were several odd bends in a nose that had clearly been broken far too many times. A long scar ran over his right eye and down that side of his face, but the set of his brown eyes was icy and proud. "And hopefully you hate each other. That will make this much easier."

"Commander Jacobs sir!" Finnick snapped to attention. "This is Katniss—"

"Everdeen." He said, a small, amused smile crossing his thing lips. "Trust me. I know." His eyes never broke contact with mine as he spoke. "So you're our famous little Mockingjay? If you think I'm going to stand here and blow sunshine up your ass, you've got a lot of waking up to do. On this squad, you are just another soldier. You will fight like one of them, and, if God wills it, you will die like one of them. Those big bad politicians upstairs seem to think you need to be babied. Do you need to be babied Everdeen?"

His words startled me. "Trust me, sir." I said with sarcastic emphasis. "I know exactly what I'm getting into."

"O, I don't think you do." His smile twisted upwards, looking incredibly unnatural on his face.

Just then, the door I had come through opened up, and my heart jumped into my chest. Peeta was being ushered into the room with the same precession I had been. "Well they seem to want all of the remaining victors to die at the same time." A voice I identified as Johanna Mason's rang out behind me. "Doing what the Hunger Games never could."

Exhaling to slow my heart down, I smiled at Peeta as he walked over. He shook hands with every member of the squad, and when he came to me, I pulled him in for a hug. It was the most physical contact we had since that day in the hospital. He tensed up at first, but I felt him soften in my arms.

"Alright, alright. That's enough." Jacobs grunted. Our attention was immediately pulled back to him as he grabbed a megaphone and held it out in front of him. It seemed a little superfluous for only seven people. "Let's begin." He boomed. "Everyone to the track."

Johanna and Finnick led the pack, with Gale following close behind. I fell back, hoping to get Peeta alone. As we walked, I took the time to notice there were two people in the room that I did not know. One was a skinny guy who seemed to be around Finnick's age. He had dark brown hair and grey eyes, but wore an easy smile and thick rimmed glasses. The other was short and stocky with a short blonde buzz and a fierce look in his face. Then they walked closer, and I realized that it was not in fact a he, but a woman who had opted to get the traditional military cut. I subconsciously pulled on my braid, grateful I decided against it.

I waited to move until everyone was significantly ahead of Peeta to speak. "I feel like I've barely seen you." I said quietly. "They let you out?"

"Yeah, yesterday." And he hadn't come to see me. "Then they made me go down and do physical evalutions and all these weird logic puzzles. Then I was in this room for hours with no idea what was going on. Haymitch came and got me, told me about the military assignment, and I agreed. Not like I have anything else to do."

He shrugged and let out a small laugh. I tried to return it, but couldn't find it in me. It shouldn't bother me that Peeta didn't come to see me. It wasn't like we were…together. But I thought he would want to, after everything. "But enough about me. All we've talked about is me. How are you?"

"When did they let you go?" I asked.

Somehow Peeta always knew when something was up with me. It's why he was prodding right now. He tried to get me to admit when something was wrong because my tendency to bottle everything up usually came back to haunt me. I wanted to tell him the truth. That I was lonely and I wanted him beside me. That I didn't want to go back to how things were, I wanted it to be more than that. Most importantly I wanted to tell him that I had missed him, and that I loved him.

"I'm fine," is what I came up with.

He gave me a skeptic sideways glance, but in true Peeta fashion, let it go. I would talk when I was ready. Or at least I hoped it was that, and not that he actually just didn't give a damn about me.

"I'm really glad you're here Peeta." I followed up, biting the inside of my cheek.
After everything we've been through, there isn't anyone I trust more with my life. Next to me on the battlefield, all of that. Maybe we could start hanging out again, like before—"

"Katniss." He sighed. "I can't…I want to…I need…" Peeta only struggled with words when he knew exactly what he needed to say, but didn't want to say it. Finally he spit it out, "I missed you, ok? But we can't be…like before. Not yet. It's not safe for you."

"They think you'll relapse." I shook my head. "I know you won't hurt me." It had been naïve to think Peeta would just fall back into loving me. I should have just stayed in the meadow room. "And I don't care if there's a risk. I'll take it."

"Well I won't." He snapped. "I won't risk hurting you, because that would kill me. I wouldn't be able to come back from that. I couldn't—" His hands were balled into fists. "Just accept that all we can be is friends right now. The slower we take it, the easier it will be."

I stopped moving, but he kept walking towards the track. As he got farther and farther away from me, I realized that even though Peeta had come back, he wasn't truly here. I didn't know if he ever would be. But I had to keep going, put on a brave face, and make him understand that I couldn't live without him. Right now Peeta Mellark was my reason to live, and I couldn't lose that when there was so much reason to give up.