NOTE: This is a really long chapter. Its worth it! Please review!
A grenade exploded to my left. I ducked behind a building and covered my head, but my ears were ringing. I reached up and pulled my hand back. No blood. That was a good sign at least. I can hear gunshots going off around me. I panic, but slowly get my bearings. "Move Everdeen!" I hear a voice shout. Craig. I get out of my hiding spot and run to the next checkpoint, dive rolling behind a barrier. I loose an arrow and hit one of the Capitol soldiers in the chest. I hear a single shot from behind me then the crash of another body going through a window. I turn and see Craig finishing off another soldier. "Go now! I've got your back." She said angrily. I nodded, then broke into a dead sprint.
I ran towards the bunker where they were holding Snow and slid through just as the doors were about to close. I took out my knife and slit the throat of the nearest guard. Snow and his other guard ran down a hall, but I shot the guard in the back as he tried to cover the President. I finally had Snow cornered. He smiled. All I could smell were roses. I pulled back my bowstring and aimed it at his face. I stared into those blue eyes, and suddenly I was lost. I was in the Capitol, meeting him as a tribute in the first games. He was sitting in my kitchen, threatening my little sister. He was on the screen, calling me a liar and a traitor. Telling me that if I didn't back down, he would kill everyone I love. I struggled with my bow, I wanted to loose that arrow, but I knew he'd kill them. My family. My friends. Prim. Peeta. Then I felt something hard hit my back, and the buzzers went off.
"Game over Everdeen." I heard a rough voice yell. "You lose." I relaxed my arms and sighed. The lights came on and the walls were raised. I saw Craig about twenty yards away, splattered with yellow paint. "You're done for the day. Seems like if it were up to you, the president would live to see another day. Pathetic." Commander Jacobs growled through the loud speaker. There was a strange mix of anger and disappointment in his voice. I hated when he was angry, but I hated disappointing him even more.
I knew it was just a training mission, so there were no serious implications, but he was right. If it were a real combat situation, I was done for, and so was my team. "Way to go Everdeen." Craig sneered. "You failed." She walked towards me, rage and disgust written all over her face. "If that had been a real mission we would both be dead. Just pile that up on your list of casualties. If you think that I'm going to put my life in your hands, you better think again. I don't know why they let you be a soldier. You don't deserve it." She partially ran into my shoulder and pushed past me stalking into the changing room.
Ever since day one Craig had been on me about not being good enough, but what she had said stung. My chest felt heavy as I followed her through the doors to where we were supposed to change out of our target outfits. I passed a few soldiers who were dressed up in the white uniforms of the Peacekeepers, my red paint splattered all over their uniforms. That was how you determined if you killed or not. The suits were sensored to detect when blood was shed, and they responded by dying themselves red. We called it paint, but it was really just an automatic dye that would fade within a few hours and be ready for another use. The technology in the simulator was amazing and realistic.
The simulator was usually my best area of training. I was so excited to go in because real combat was where I did my best. My quick thinking and strategy were my two best attributes, and me being a good shot didn't hurt. I like the shooting range and sparring, but this was where I truly shined. I stripped off my suit and threw it into the cleaning shoot, then donned my squad 451 uniform and walked out towards the control room in the simulator building. This was where Jacobs and the rest of the team watched whoever was in the simulator. It was a bird's eye view that gave him every opportunity to criticize. The simulator building was interesting. It was inside the larger underground arena/building where all of our training was done, but the actual simulator was another building itself. However, the walls were able to raise and lower according to the situation. Peeta called it the greatest feat of military training technology.
The thought of Peeta made me smile. Ever since that night I had crawled into his bed, our relationship had completely changed. When I opened my eyes that morning, he was staring at me. "Good morning beautiful." He said with a smile. For a second, I thought it was a dream. "Hi." I said yawning and stretching. He leaned in and kissed me. A real kiss. It was so unexpected, but so amazing. His lips were soft and warm against mine. I tried to deepen the kiss but he pulled away, laughing. "Let's take it slow. Ok Katniss? Not as slow as before, but it would be best if we eased into it." I nodded in agreement.
We went to training that day holding hands. I saw Gale, and immediately recognized the look of anger in his face. I expected Peeta to let go, but instead, he gripped my hand firmer. "Hey Gale," he said, eyes narrowing. Gale looked at me and snarled, then turned around and waved us off. "He's jealous." I said warily. "He must have seen me walk out of your room."
"Who cares?" Peeta said. "He has no right to be angry." He spun me towards him and looked me in the eyes. "You're mine Katniss. You always have been. You always will be. Gale doesn't stand a chance against what we have." He smiled and kissed me again. I was a little taken aback by his possessiveness, but I realized he was just articulating what I was feeling. He was right. Gale never stood a chance.
Two nights later, it was my turn to clean up after the squad ate dinner. I didn't mind because Peeta volunteered to help me. We began to clean up and he was quiet. When everyone had cleared out of the kitchen, I heard him say "Katniss…"
"Hmm?" I started to question turning towards him while washing a dish. He was closer than I thought, our noses nearly touching. Before I knew it his lips were on mine. This kiss was different. This wasn't the light kisses Peeta had been giving me for the past few days. I could feel the hunger inside of him. He wrapped his hands around my hips and pulled me into him. My hands ran through his soft blonde hair. He ran his tongue around my bottom lip, begging entry into my mouth. I opened my lips and met his tongue with mine. He was pushing hard against me, and I pushed back wanting more. I ran my thumb across the top of his shorts and felt him shudder against me. He moaned softly into my mouth and his hand was up my shirt. I felt heat in my cheeks. I wanted him. No. I needed him. He grabbed my breast and I gasped. I felt desire rising in me. He started to pull back, startled, but I pushed myself into him and forced our lips back together. I felt him smile against my mouth. My hand dipped lower and I felt him hard against me. I stroked him through the soft fabric of his shorts. "Katniss…" He moaned against my lips. It drove me crazy when I heard my name escape his lips like that. He dipped his head against my shoulder. I heard his ragged breathing, and it turned me on even more. "Katniss." He kissed my neck, then as my stroking became faster, he started sucking. I moaned softly into his ear. His hand moved from under my shirt to undoing my pants so quickly I thought he might rip them off. He slid his hand in past my under wear and slipped one finger into me. My body sank into his and I groaned. "Oh my god. Peeta." He started to move his finger in and out of me, speeding up with each stroke. It felt like my nerves were on fire, like my heart would explode. I couldn't think, I only knew I wanted more. I didn't want him to stop. Then I heard voices on the other side of the kitchen door and it snapped us back to reality.
I quickly rebuttoned my pants and fixed my shirt as Peeta shifted his to hide his arousal. I turned back to the sink to wash the dishes just as Gale and Finnick walked through the door. I forced myself to not turn around until the heat in my cheeks was gone. "Hey guys." Finnick said, still chuckling about some joke that he had just told in the other room. He walked over and set a glass down next to me. "I would wash it, but…"
"Its fine." I said, surprised my voice came out evenly. Peeta smiled as he washed his hands off.
"You alright Katniss?" He asked. I forced myself to look him in the eyes. "Yes Finnick. I'm good. Thanks for asking." He raised his eyebrows, looked at Peeta, then looked back to me. "Ok. Well. I'm gonna leave." He said with a smile. He hit Peeta on the shoulder as he walked out.
"Whatever Finnick." I said as he walked out. I turned to watch him, but I only saw Gale. His eyes were dark. It must have been clear what we were doing, and Gale was not happy. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but Finnick grabbed his arm. "Come on man." Finnick said. Sometimes I thank whatever God there is for Finnick Odair. Peeta turned around, and Gale stared at him. For a second, I was legitimately afraid of him. I thought he was going to jump across that kitchen and kill Peeta, but he didn't. He just turned and followed Finnick out the door. I turned back around.
"So…" Peeta started. "Let's just do dishes." I looked at him initially upset, but that quickly melted away. He was smiling at me. That pure, broad smile. Unblinking and never ending. I smiled back, there was no way I couldn't.
That had been last night. When we crawled into bed, we started again, but I stopped him. "Peeta, I'm not ready…to…do everything." I said, not knowing how to properly say I'm not ready to fuck you right now. I expected him to be upset, but he just looked at me. "Of course not. Slow, remember Katniss?" He said as he rolled on top of me and began kissing my neck. "Yeah." I said breathily. "Slow."
That had been last night. I snapped out of my memories and found myself outside the control room. Is this where I was headed? Thinking of the things Peeta and I had done last night made me lightheaded. I walked through the door and remembered the beating I was about to take. "Well Everdeen." Jacobs said. "You failed the mission, got Craig killed, and you, the Mockingjay, are also dead. And you thought you could be a soldier." He scoffed. "Sit down and watch the rest of your team do it right. Hawthorne, Mallark, you're next."
Gale was clearly still angry about what he saw last night, so he reluctantly stalked out of the control room into the changing area. Peeta came over and kissed me.
"Good luck." I said with a small smile.
"It's ok Kat. Everyone messes up sometimes. You're amazing." He smiled his amazing, charming smile and somehow, it cheered me up despite the terrible training. How can it be possible for him to make me so happy in these times where everything was so terrible?
"Be careful Peeta." I worried about him being with Gale. "Gale and I are on the same team remember?" He laughed. "Besides, I'm not afraid of him." He kissed me on the forhead when I began to protest and walked out of the room. The weapons we used were fake, but sometimes hand to hand combat was involved, and then it always got dangerous. The "Capitol" soldiers were told to not hold back and so were we.
The walls went back up and the room darkened. I could see the shadowy figures of Peeta and Gale moving around the arena. They were supposed to be going into a hostage situation in the dark, using night vision goggles to replicate a night time rescue. I saw the first silent bullet throw a red streak across a guard that had flinched. Peeta. He had the gun, Gale had a bow and arrow. I saw them move flawlessly through the course and began to relax. They seemed to be working well together, if not as a team at least they weren't arguing. I saw Peeta signal to Gale to cover him while he went in to rescue a hostage. The point was for them to be completely stealth. Their presence could not be revealed or else they lost. Gale nodded and Peeta walked up the steps towards the hostage on the opposite side. He slit a guards throat and shot another point blank, I saw him begin to untie the hostages ties and carry "him" back to the pull out point. Then Gale stood up. I saw him pull something out of his pocket. A flash bang. He threw it directly towards where Peeta was standing, and it went off with a bang. I heard Peeta yell in agony as the sound blinded him. The guards were also unable to move, but the grenade had hit right under Peeta, so it had effected him the most. He writhed on the floor. The guards regained their bearings and turned towards him. One hit him with the butt of his gun, the other picked him up and held him while a third punched him repeatedly. "Stop them!" I yelled at Jacobs. "Its just a simulation!" Jacobs hit a button and the buzzer sounded. The "guards" dropped Peeta to the floor and he fell down. He was bleeding from both ears. I ran out of the control room and towards Peeta. I fell on my knees next to him.
"Peeta! Are you ok?" He groaned in pain and continued to writh on the ground. "Wheres the medical team?" I felt the panic in my voice as I realized that he was actually hurt. They rushed up and pulled him onto a stretcher. I watched them carry him off, but when I began to follow, Furman pulled me by my arm. He was usually a joker like Finnick, but the look on his face was serious. "Jacobs said the whole team stays." He lead me towards the control room by the arm. When we got there Jacobs was just standing in front of the controls. Craig, Johanna and Finnick were standing with frowns on their faces. They clearly did not approve of Gale's actions. I was steaming. How could he do this? It was a drill and he had brought a flash bang on a silent mission?
He walked through the door with a smirk on his face. "I guess loverboy couldn't handle a trick situation." He said with a laugh. I stood up. I wanted to hit him, to hurt him like he hurt Peeta. "We are on the same team you asshole!" I shouted. "He didn't do anything!" I could feel my anger bubbling over. Gale was not the person he once was. Jealously had overtaken that guy. "O relax. He'll be fine." Gale said.
"What did you say Everdeen?" Commander Jacobs finally turned. His face was cold and hard as he stared at Gale. "We are a what? O that's right. A team. And what did you do Hawthorne? You threw away your mission, and you brought an illegal weapon for that particular course. You completely disrespected me, and everything my training stands for." I had see Jacobs angry. He always got angry, but this was different. This wasn't me being a shaky shot or Finnick goofing around during cardio training. This was rage. "How dare you Hawthorne. You don't deserve to be amongst these people. If it weren't for Coin forcing you to be here you'd be gone. You're attitude is terrible, and I don't give a DAMN how jealous you are that she loves Peeta. I don't give a DAMN if you think you have rights to her or whatever. You have nothing. You deserve nothing." I looked at Gale and saw fear start to creep into his features. I think he was afraid that Jacobs would kill him, but his voice calmed down. "Get out."
"What?" Gale asked, confused.
"Get the hell out of my sight." Jacobs replied curtly. "We were assigned a mission to be carried out two days from now. You won't be coming. We are better off without you until you figure out what really matters to you as a soldier. Grow up Hawthorne. This is a war, not some stupid love triangle bullshit. If you wanna take your personal problems onto the field, you'll do it in someone elses squad. You won't be back at training until after our mission." He said with finality. "Let's see how jealous you are when you sit at home watching your teammates die, and realize that maybe if you weren't such an immature ass, you might have been able to save them." He turned back to the control panel. "We're done for the day."