Chapter Fifty Five

Bella

I heard Carlisle's conversation with his secretary and I had no quarrel with her, she could go, live another day. I knew he wouldn't run, no he would think it a point of honour to face me. Honour from such a man, it was almost laughable, he picked and chose his honour while I struggled in this darkness, having no one I could trust. No one who would stand before me to protect me. My own sire had abandoned me to others who cared only as long as it served their purpose. I had thought Garrett liked me, was in love with me, but he had proved me wrong and one day soon I would face him, spit in his face, and rip his throat out before burning it before his eyes then consign the rest of his lying body to the cleansing flames also. I heard Carlisle come back and waited, quite relaxed knowing he couldn't reach me, body or soul or whatever was in this monstrous body where a human soul would reside.

Carlisle

Bella sat smiling as I walked into my office, looking the same but so different too. Gone was the confused and slightly scared look I had seen to be replaced with a burning hatred and desire for revenge.

"Bella, I like what you did with your hair. The clothes not so much but I don't suppose you came to discuss your appearance. The name is an interesting choice, where did you hear it?"

"I didn't come for a friendly chat Carlisle. You must know what happened to Sam Uley and the elders."

"Yes I heard. Were their deaths really necessary Bella? Did they make you feel any more at peace?"

"Peace? Do vampires ever feel peace Carlisle? I doubt it somehow, we feel a terrible thirst and a burning desire to quench that thirst but to do so means death for someone or some poor defenceless animal. How do you find peace in that?"

"I find it helping others, both vampire and human."

"Like the patients here at the hospital? Like me?"

"I admit I don't always succeed but I do try. I made mistakes with you but they were made with the best of intentions. Esme led you to believe Garrett was your sire only with the best of intentions."

"Did you send my real sire away for the same reason Carlisle? Are you God?"

"No, just a man who makes mistakes but tries to put them right where he can. Let me put things right Bella, please."

"How? Would you turn me back to human? Would you show me who my real sire was? Would you bring back to life the people I have killed? Heal those I have maimed? You truly think you are God don't you Dr Cullen?"

"Bella I was wrong, Esme was wrong and so was Garrett but we all did what we thought was right at the time under the circumstances. No one can give you back your human life but I didn't take that and neither did Garrett, that was another, maybe you should be asking him why he did it."

"Oh I did and I intend to have a full and frank exchange of information with him in the near future but for now lets talk about you and your part in the keep Bella ignorant plot."

"We only wanted to save you from more grief. Your sire is a human hunter who came to me for help. He stumbled across you when you were dying and did what he thought was right. He could have left you to die or drained you but he chose to save you. I told him to leave because at the time I believed Garrett who thought Jasper had started to feed then became guilty and changed you. I didn't think spending your formative time with such a terrible creature was the best thing for you. I wanted to give you a chance to hunt animals, to live without killing human beings to feed."

"But you let me believe Garrett was my sire and he hunts humans too so what's the difference between him and Jasper?"

"Garrett is my friend, I know him, I trusted he would honour what I was trying to do, that he would help you. It seems I was wrong but my intentions were good. I'm sorry I sent Jasper away, I'm sorry I lied to you Bella but please, killing more people, human or vampire, is not the way to make things right, I know this and you do too."

Bella

I listened to Carlisle but all I felt was anger and resentment, he still thought he was right, just misguided while I was wrong and that made me even angrier,

"You had no right to dictate to me, you had no right to deceive me Carlisle. You took away my choices by lying and now I'm going to take away all the things you love, just as I was ripped from my life and hurled into yours. But don't worry, Jasper will pay too."

I lunged knocking him backwards out of his chair and through the window to fall to the ground six floors below. Before he had time to pick himself up and come up with a believable story to tell the humans in the car park I was already gone but I hadn't finished yet, not by a long way.

I knew where the family were living but I knew they would be on their guard so I set myself up at a good vantage point and waited patiently, my shield wrapped close around me, containing my scent within and keeping me invisible even to vampire senses. I saw Carlisle arrive home and the relief on his face when Esme told him they were all fine, that there had been no sign of me at the house. Let them enjoy a little relief, let them think I had finished for now, I was patient, I could out wait them and sooner or later they would have to emerge to hunt, then we would see who was the hunter and who the prey. I had caught Jaspers scent too but he wasn't here any longer, so I would hunt him down too. So much to do but so much time to do it too!

Carlisle

I explained my conversation with her to the others who were shocked at her attitude, all except Rose who felt a certain compassion for Bella who had been changed with no say in the matter.

"She's targeting us because she sees us as the ones who got her into this predicament. If Garrett hadn't befriended her then the wolves wouldn't have decided to use her as a pawn in their game to rid Forks of vampires. I said no good would come of it at the time. Then we promised to look after her but she still got attacked again and changed."

"We tried to help as soon as we knew what was going on, we tried to guide her to make her entry into our world as easy as possible"

"We all lied to Bella, Esme especially. You let her think she was sired by Garrett and you threw her sire out, What did you expect, she feels she has no one she can trust now."

"Well if we don't find her and stop her the Volturi will and she doesn't deserve to die, not after all she's been through."

"She found you Carlisle, we know where she is, waiting out there for us to make a move so she can pick us off one by one, like she did the Quileutes."

"Bella wont harm any of us Rose, she hurt the Quileutes because she blames them for her becoming a vampire, we tried to help"

"You keep saying that but I don't think she sees it that way Carlisle. I think she's as mad with us as with them. We betrayed her too."

"I think we should call Jasper. Tell him she's here and let him find her. Charlotte seems to think they are mates so he can use that to draw him to her hiding place. Once he finds her perhaps he can talk some sense into her"

"Do you really think we should be asking him for help? Knowing what he is Carlisle?"

"Esme I think he's our only hope right now, her only hope too. Do we know where he is now?"

"He was going to drive towards the hospital but if he feels her maybe he'll already be coming back."