It was late at night when Bofur heard the whimpers and cries coming from Ella's room.
He'd left the room he was sharing with Bifur and Bombur to light up his pipe, wandering around the quarters as he did so.
And as he walked past Ella's room, he heard it clearly – cries, sobbing, panicked gasps.
"Miss Ella?" he called uncertainly, rapping on the door.
He wasn't very sure what to do. Ella only really talked to Fili and Kili and maybe Ori, and of course there was Bilbo; Bofur could hold a conversation with her with little problem, but to have her crying and sobbing…
Then came another whimper, long and low, and he swallowed his resolve and pushed open the door.
Moonlight spilled into the room, shining straight onto her in her bed, thrashing around in the blankets, sweat beading on her face. Her dark hair spilled out over the pillow as she began to curl up, holding back whimpers. Silently, quietly, he moved over to her, shaking her gently. "Ella. Miss Ella. Wake up. Come on, wake up."
Slowly, the sobs quietened, and Ella's eyes shot open.
"Bofur?" she whispered, her voice hoarse.
"You're shivering, lass." He draped the blankets around her shoulders properly, found her funny glasses-thing on the bedside table and passed them to her. "You all right?"
She took a deep, shuddering gasp as she pushed the glasses onto her face. "Yeah. Yeah. It's just…nightmares, that's all." She gave him an unconvincing smile.
Bofur raised his eyebrows, gave her a disbelieving look.
"Lass."
She gave a short, shaky laugh.
"I saw my sister. And – I honestly can't remember the details, but I remember being so, so scared for her." Her voice was soft, low. "And I saw – I saw this huge dragon, all red and sleeping in mountains of gold coins. And a mountain, a mountain in the distance, the ruins of a great city."
She didn't realise that Bofur had frozen, his hand clutching his pipe halfway to his mouth.
"Must be all those stories I read, as a child."
She gave another shaky laugh.
"I'll be all right, Bofur. Really. I will be."
"Well – " he looked at her uncertainly.
"I promise." She smiled at him.
"If you say so, lass." Bofur got up slowly. He'd no experience with sobbing females – no, it was only Gloin who had any experience with that sort of thing, having a wife of his own – and he wasn't very sure what to do.
He was nearly out the door when he stopped and turn.
"Lass, you wouldn't know what the dragon's name was, would you?" he asked. "Or the great city?"
She paused, looked up to meet his eyes.
"There were two cities, actually." Her eyes glazed over. "One in the mountain, the city of Erebor, the city of the King under the mountain. And the human city Dale, a beautiful, prosperous, great city."
Bofur had frozen again.
"And the dragon," she said, thoughtfully, "the dragon's name was Smaug."
"Bofur, what are you doing here?"
Bofur blinked his eyes open, sleepily, as a foot kicked him hard, to see a circle of faces surrounding him.
Ah yes. Of course.
He was seated on the floor, cross-legged, his pipe in his hands. He'd fallen asleep outside Ella's room.
"She had nightmares last night," he said, jerking his head towards the door on his right. "Told me she was okay, but I thought it would be better to stay out here and make sure she didn't start crying again."
"She was crying?" a voice demanded. Fili. Of course.
"I'm sure the lass is fine now," Dwalin said, dismissively. "It was just a nightmare."
"But that was it, you see!" Bofur paused, glanced around before gesturing for them to lean in closer. "She dreamt of Smaug and Erebor and Dale."
There was a silence as this information was digested. Eyes widened, mouths moving as the dwarfs murmured.
"How is this even possible?" Thorin's voice was dark, his eyes glaring into the door.
Bofur held up his hands. "I wouldn't know! She was telling me of it last night, when I went to wake her up – "
"You went into her room at night?" Kili's eyebrows were raised. "Maybe I should have been walking around last night."
He didn't notice his older brother glaring at him.
And then the door swung open.
Ella was standing in the doorway, her hair a mess, blinking sleepily, wearing a long blue nightgown that the elves had lent her. A blue nightgown that left very little to the imagination.
She promptly let out a small shriek and slammed the door shut upon seeing nearly the whole company at her door.
"That was what she was wearing when you went into her room last night?" Balin sighed, turned to the dwarf still sprawled on the floor. "Bofur!"
The dwarf's face was completely red.
"It was dark, it's not like I could see what she was sleeping in! And I covered her with the blankets! She was shivering!"
He glared stubbornly around the circle of amused faces, unaware that young Fili had turned his glare from his brother onto him.
"Are you talking to me now?"
Ella tensed as Fili came up behind her, settling himself onto the bench next to her. In front of her, Dwalin and Gloin were roaring at each other as they swung their weapons, waiting for Ella to rest before Dwalin continued training her.
"Yeah." She pushed a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "Look, I'm really, really sorry about last night, I didn't mean to lose my temper like that – "
"Nah, it's nothing." Fili decided not to say anything about the irrational urge he had to forgive her for whatever she apologised for. "I saw you trying out that sword. You aren't half bad."
"I'm thinking that's a softer way of saying I'm terrible, isn't it?"
"Nah, lass, he's right." Dwalin had lowered his weapons and was now stalking over to them, spinning a sword in his hand. "You aren't that bad at all. Come on then. You feeling rested?"
"Rested enough," she managed to smile, getting to her feet for another training session with the gruff dwarf.
"You enjoy her company."
It was Thorin, sliding into the seat next to him, watching Ella and Dwalin.
"Oh, she's fun to be around."
He looked up as she moved, Dwalin sighing in exasperation, Ella trying again, her movements awkward, jerky, yet still there.
"You'll be able to enjoy her company for a long time more, I warrant."
Fili turned to meet his uncle's gaze.
"Do you mean – "
"She'll be following us," was all Thorin said, shortly. "Bofur told me of her dream, and both Gandalf and Elrond insist that she come. I care little for the elf's opinion, but Gandalf was adamant. And with her dream, we don't know if she might have any more such dreams. Elrond's already prepared clothes for her. Let her know after the session."
He got to his feet, looked down at his heir.
"Do not get too distracted, Fili. We leave at dawn."
When Fili had jumped up at the end of her training and informed her she would be accompanying them, she was faced with a barrage of emotions washing over her.
So there it was.
She was to follow them.
No going back.
Silently, she wondered if Lord Elrond had had a part to play in this decision to take her along.
As she returned to the dwarfs' quarters with Fili and Dwalin, Gloin having left long ago, they told her of their quest – their journey to reclaim their homeland from the dragon Smaug.
"Erebor," she said, softly.
She should be afraid. She should be absolutely terrified.
But for some reason, she felt at peace. She knew where she was going now, what she was going to do.
She wasn't a lost girl in a whole new world anymore.
Rivendell, lovely, beautiful Rivendell.
Ella stood on the path, looking back at it longingly. One day she would return, if it were possible. If she did not die. Bilbo stood beside her, gazing at Rivendell with the same longing, as the line of dwarfs passed them.
"Be on your guard," Thorin was saying from somewhere behind them. "We're about to step over the edge of the Wild. Balin, you know these paths; lead on."
"Aye."
The dwarfs continued passing them, but Ella had eyes only for Rivendell.
No going back.
She was going to make the most out of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
"Master Baggins, Miss Ella," Thorin called from behind them. "I suggest you keep up."
As Ella turned, she saw Ori waiting, glancing at her. With a shy smile, he gestured for her to walk ahead of him.
She smiled gratefully and hurried on.
"I have an important question," Ella said, that first night, as Bombur spooned out dinner.
Next to her, Fili looked up curiously. "What?"
"What is it," she said, "with all the beards and the braids?"
Kili choked on his food and had to be thumped on the back by Gloin, while Bofur started coughing, trying to swallow and laugh at the same time.
"I'm serious," she said. "I really need to know. All of you have beards. And all of you have braids. Well, most of you have braids. But everyone has beards. Well, except Kili. But I'm thinking that's because he hasn't reached that maturity level yet."
"Hey!" Kili said, indignantly, as the dwarfs roared with laughter. "Ori's younger than me!"
"But Ori has a beard, doesn't he?" Ella looked at him innocently over the rim of her bowl. "I think Ori's much more mature than you. You see. Maturity level. Like how Balin's beard is probably the most intimidating in beard-size, because, you know, he's the most mature."
"Why, thank you, lass," said Balin, chuckling.
Fili grinned as he leaned back into the rocks, watching Ella as she laughed with the dwarfs. The contrast when she was in Rivendell and when she was out here with them was so great that it was as if she were two different people. In Rivendell she had been uptight, on her best behaviour, distant, apart from that single occasion when she had danced with him. She had looked amazing, but she had been different. But then again, she also had been avoiding him. Here, she spoke easily, talked easily, laughed easily. More relaxed. Cheerful.
And she had spent the whole day walking alongside him.
Fili couldn't help but smile.
"We're dwarfs, lass," Gloin was saying, waving his hands around. "Long beards are part of the whole thing."
Ella glanced around quickly, catching sight of Thorin and Dwalin sitting some distance away, murmuring in low voices, before turning back to the group and asking, "Why doesn't Thorin – I mean, it's sort of a little beard, isn't it? Shouldn't he have, well, a larger beard, or longer one, or something? You know, being King under the mountain and all that?"
Fili remembered her disbelieving expression when she had fully grasped the fact that he and Kili were technically royalty, after remembering that they often referred to Thorin as their uncle.
She looked around at them uncertainly.
"Aye, that is so," Balin said, nodding slowly. "But you see, all those years ago at Erebor, when so many lives were lost, a good number of dwarfs had their beards signed, all burnt off. And Thorin, well, he's kept his short out of respect for them."
"Ah." Ella glanced back at the tall, dark-haired dwarf as she swallowed more of Bombur's soup.
"What d'you think of my beard, El?" Fili leaned forward, shook the braids on the ends of his moustache, making a face at her as he saw her face grow serious.
It worked. She laughed, pointed her spoon at him. "Not really a beard, is it? Dangling moustaches, maybe."
"Dangling moustaches?"
"Yeah. Little plaits on the side of your mouth."
She grinned at him, and he couldn't help but chuckle.
Ella was afraid to sleep that night.
She'd pulled up her bedroll in between Fili and Kili, Kili wriggling his eyebrows at her until she'd elbowed him in the side, hard, causing Fili to laugh. It was, Ella thought, so easy to be around them. In her old life, she had taken a long time – weeks, months, even – before getting comfortable enough around new people to even nudge them or let them invade her personal space. And here, it was as if personal barriers didn't exist, and it was so comfortable, so easy around the dwarfs and Bilbo that she felt as if she had known them for years.
But now, with the embers from the fire dying, she sat curled up in her bedroll, staring at the orange sparks with her blurry vision.
"Can't sleep, lass?" It was Bofur, with his pipe. He'd taken the first watch, and now, with all the dwarfs asleep, he'd easily seen her rise up into a sitting position and had wandered over.
"No," she admitted, drawing her jacket closer around herself. She had left her shirt and Ali Baba pants back in Rivendell, taking instead the much more practical clothing given to her by the elves, but she'd refused to part from her jacket, her Converse shoes, her watch and bracelets. Something to make sure she didn't get fully sucked into this new world. To remember that she had had an old life, in a different world.
"You don't have to be afraid to sleep, you know." Bofur smiled comfortingly at her, lifted the pipe out of his mouth for a moment. "I'll wake you up if you start thrashing around. No need to be scared."
"It's not just that," Ella said, feebly, as a blond head emerged next to her, a muffled, sleepy voice: "Ella?"
"Go back to sleep, Fili," she said, but Fili had already pushed himself up, was looking from her to Bofur.
"You all right?"
"She's afraid to sleep," Bofur said, cheerfully, ignoring the glare that Ella was sending him.
"Bofur!"
Fili looked down at her, hands wrapped around her knees. "You don't have to be afraid, you know."
"It's not just that," she repeated, arguing.
Fili rolled his eyes. "C'mon, Ella. Everyone loves sleep."
"Not if you wake up whimpering and sweating."
"You won't know if you'll get another nightmare or you might actually get some nice dreams."
"With my luck, I'll probably end up dreaming of your brother and wake up screaming."
"I'd probably start getting worried if you start dreaming of my brother. When girls start dreaming of your little brother, you know it's not going to end well."
Bofur glanced between the two of them, grinning to himself, all but ignored as Ella crossed her arms and glared at Fili.
"I'm sure you'd much rather they dream of you."
"Naturally," Fili said, a wide grin splitting his face. "Come on, Ella. You need your sleep. I'll take care of you and protect you from your nightmares."
Ella only blinked at him, trying to digest his words, before managing to recover enough to say:
"And how do you plan on doing that?"
He opened up his arms.
She stared at him in shock. "Excuse me?"
"Hey," he said. "I'll know if you start whimpering or crying. Come on. Aren't you supposed to be comforted by a hug?"
"You want me to hug you to sleep."
"That's the idea."
Ella eyed him.
A guy offering to hug her to sleep. To make sure she was comfortable, to protect her from her nightmares. Ella felt a warm wave of gratitude wash over her, and tried to ignore her once-again rapidly increasing heart rate.
Nobody had ever told her they wanted to protect her, no one except Fili. Her parents had always seen her as mature and responsible, even from a young age, and she'd soon learned to take care of herself, and later, to take care of and protect Emma. But here was Fili, smiling at her, saying he'd protect her. Saying he'd take care of her. And he'd only known her for such a short time.
She felt tempted to move closer to him, curl up inside his arms.
But there was a small part of her, her prideful side, insisting that she could take care of herself, that she didn't need Fili to look after her.
"Bofur," she said, turning to the dwarf, now doing his best not to double over in laughter, "Fili never offered that."
"Sure thing, lass," he chuckled, tipping his funny hat and moving back to his watchpost. "He didn't say a thing."
"You're killing me, Ella," Fili complained as Bofur left.
"Fili, don't be ridiculous."
"Come on." He held out his arms again. "Didn't you ever hug your sister to sleep when she had nightmares?"
Ella bit her lip. Emma. Emma waking up screaming in the middle of the night, when their parents had been away, shrieking about thieves and fire and murder. Ella had spent the whole night with her, holding her in her arms, murmuring.
Fili tilted his head.
The small, prideful part of her lost.
Slowly, Ella lay back down and edged nearer to him, laying her head on his chest as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer to him.
Apart from that single time in the cave with the dead Warg, she had never been in such close contact with Fili. Or with any male, for that matter. She expected herself to tense up uncomfortably, go rigid.
Instead, she found herself relaxing in his arms, curling up as she gave way to sleep.
And Fili tried not to think about how right it felt, holding her in his arms, close to him.
Hello! I'm sorry if there seems to be a super-drastic change from Ella in Rivendell and Ella out on the road with the dwarfs. It's just that, in Rivendell, she's still struggling with herself, with what she wants to do, with what her presence in Middle-Earth, among the dwarfs, means. Not to mention the fact that she was so horrified by the dwarfs' behaviour when they were guests in Rivendell.
But out on the road, she's different, because she's more relaxed, more free. She knows what she's going to do now, and that's to stick with the dwarfs until the end.
Just in case anyone was wondering! Because I realised that it's not really very clear in the chapter. And the change was quite drastic.
Thank you to all those lovely people who reviewed!