Note: I know this is one of the longer chapters, but I had to build to the ending. Please review! It means a lot.
"Mhmm!" I heard someone clear their voice, and I slowly pulled away from Peeta, annoyed at this disturbance. Finnick stood in the doorway with a smirk laying broadly across his face. "I don't want to interrupt you two, but we do have a party to get to." He looked towards me. "You look beautiful Katniss, as always." He walked over and took my hand to kiss it in that classic Finnick way. He stopped and stared at it, his face growing serious, and that's when I remembered the ring.
He looked from me to Peeta with narrowed eyes. I thought he would say that it wasn't a good decision, or we were being rash, but instead, the smile crept back onto his lips and he threw his arms around me. "Congratulations you two!" He let me go and embraced Peeta, patting him on the back. "And here I thought you were fighting!"
Peeta laughed. "We were, but then we made up, and we decided that we didn't want to waste anymore time. Life's too short you know?"
"Trust me man, I know. If anyone knows about love its me. Annie makes me the happiest man in the world, and I know you two do the same for each other. So all power to you." He threw his hands up excitedly. "I can't wait to tell everyone. They'll be so—"
"Uh. Finnick?" I interrupted him. "We're going to wait to tell people until after the party. I want the ceremony to be small." I turned towards Peeta, mainly addressing him. "Just the squad and our families and Haymitch, of course. The people we're closest too. I don't want this turned into some sort of freak show like most of the things I'm involved in. I don't want to be the Mockinjay, not on that day."
Finnick noddd. "Of course. I really am happy for you two. If anyone deserves happiness it's the starcrossed lovers from district thirteen." He gave each of us another hug and looked at his watch. "Party time." He yelled, heading out the door. "Come on lovebirds, you can finish canoodling later."
Peeta rolled his eyes at Finnick's back, then smiled and took my hand. I hesitated for a moment. "Should I wear it? If we're waiting to tell people…" He looked down at the ring shimmering on my finger. He slipped it off and returned it to its box.
"I'll keep it for now. People will ask questions, and we don't really want all of that attention at a huge party." I smiled at him and he kissed my cheek. He slid the box into his inside jacket pocket. We walked down the hall hand in hand. When we reached the living room, the rest of our team was there, waiting for us.
"Finally!" Gale said with a sarcastic roll of his eyes. Then he smirked at Peeta and I playfully. "Women. They take forever to get ready." He hit Peeta on the arm. Gale was being overly nice to Peeta ever since the incident. It was strange to see them attempting to get along, but I was happy. It seemed like Gale was finally getting over me, partially. He seemed like he was doing a lot better these days, and I noticed that he wasn't around Coin as often. She had loosened her grip on him, and he was clearly better off for it.
I saw Sydney standing across the room playing with something on her dress. She wore a beautiful deep blue gown, and her hair cascaded around her shoulders in waves. She looked up when Gale spoke, and I saw she had a small bandage over the left side of her face right below her eye. I knew I had to apologize to her. What I had done had been wrong. I felt awful. I wanted to make my way over there now, but Jacobs gathered us all together and we started walking towards the ballroom.
When we walked through the doors, the intricate decorations and detail took my breath away. There were huge statues plated in bright gold and silver with black accents. An enormous flowing fountain stood at the center of the room and a grand piano in the corner, where a man was playing a beautiful song that filled the air with a soft, sweet melody. There were tables set up around the room, with a huge buffet at the front, containing every possible type of food. This could easily rival any Capitol party I had ever been too.
When we walked through the door, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at us. At first I thought we had done something wrong, but then one man said, "Let's hear it for the heroes of district seven!" And applause roared throughout the room. Those that had been standing were on their feet, and everyone was cheering for us. I knew we had done well but being described as heroes was something I would never forget. I looked around at my squad. Everyone had a broad smile strewn across their face, and I realized that they had never been seen as anything special before.
Furman was just an average soldier. Finnick and Johanna were the Capitol's play things. Jacobs usually tried to stay as far away from glory as he could. Peeta had never gotten the attention before, as it had always been on me. I realized that the happiness I felt from my teammates was much better than anything I felt for myself. This was their moment, and I had never been more proud to be a member of squad 451.
Eventually the applause died down, and we made our way to our seats. Our table was directly in front of the buffet, and I noticed for the first time that there was another table sitting on a platform above the rest. This one was a long rectangle, while every other table was a circle. There were seven seats. I recognized Plutrarch Heavensbee sitting to the far left. Haymitch sat next to him, and an empty seat was next to him. On the other side, there were three generals who I recognized from command meetings, but didn't really know. In the center sat President Coin, sipping wine through pursed lips out of a golden cup. I realized that she was staring at me, and my eyes narrowed as I glared back at her. She smirked slightly, and gave me a mocking wave.
"Come on Katniss." I heard Peeta say, and I realized that I had stopped walking during my stare down with Coin. "Our table is over here." I broke eye contact with Coin and took Peeta's hand, following him to the table where our families and the rest of the squad were sitting.
We had one of the smallest tables, because a lot of our squad didn't have families there to greet them. Gale's mother and all of his brothers and sisters were there. I saw Finnick and Annie embracing lovingly when he found his seat. I saw Prim and my mother and went over to hug them. I looked back at Peeta and he stared at the ground. I knew he was thinking about his parents and brothers. They hadn't survived the bombings in district twelve, and even though he didn't talk about it, I knew it killed him every day. Eventually he snapped out of whatever memory he was in, and made his way over to me. He gave Prim a hug and kissed my mother on the cheek. Sydney and Johanna sat directly across from us. I didn't know much about Johanna's past, but I knew she didn't have family to speak of, and Sydney's only family was President Coin, and she could never sit down here with us commoners. I realized that Commander Jacobs wasn't sitting with us.
I looked around for him, and realized that he was sitting on Coin's immediate left at the rectangular table. I forgot he was a leading general in the army, and seeing him there in his tuxedo next to Coin, looking so uncomfortable, made me giggle. It was obvious that commander Jacobs hated these kinds of things, and that wearing anything other than his military uniform made him squirm.
Eventually everyone took their seats, and President Coin stood up to welcome us. She said some fake words about what an honor it was to be the leader of such a brave company of soldiers, and that we humbled her. I was disgusted by her display of fake courtesy. If I didn't know better, she probably could have fooled me. She was a good liar, I would give her that. When she was finished, everyone gave her a standing ovation. I was just going to stay seated, but I saw Haymitch shoot me a look from his seat, and I stood up and clapped, gritting my teeth. Coin waved graciously, and I felt like screaming. I loathed this woman, and she thought that these people actually cared for her.
We got the ok to sit down, and they started letting tables go to get food. We were one of the first groups to go, so when we got in line, I tried to make my way over next to Sydney, attempting to take this opportunity to apologize. I squeezed my way in front of Johanna so that I was standing behind her. I grabbed a plate and tried to start with small talk.
"This looks great!" I said, trying to muster up as much fake enthusiasm as I could. She didn't answer me, so we just continued to move down the line in silence. "So…I thought maybe—"
"Don't bother, ok Katniss? You don't have to pretend to be nice to me to make yourself feel better. Its fine that you hate me. I'm used to it. I've never been good at making friends, and I don't expect people to like me. Quite frankly I don't really care. I should just accept that we won't get along. The less fake you are to me the better. It'll be easier for me to accept." She said. Then she got out of line and walked back to our table. I stood there for a second, processing her words. I've never been good at making friends. I shivered, because that sounded incredibly familiar. Sydney seemed so perfect. It was hard to imagine her not being liked by everyone she met.
With a push from Johanna, I finished getting my food and sat back down. I conversed occasionally with the people at our table, but Sydney's words kept ringing in my head. I don't expect people to like me. Quite frankly I don't really care. It was like she was stealing the words from my mouth when I had spoken to Haymitch on the train during the first games. I kept trying to catch her eye, but she never looked at me. She talked to Johanna and Gale's family. She was sitting on Gale's immediate left, and as I was trying to get her attention, I began to notice how they acted. Gale would lean down and whisper in her ear. Sydney laughed at all the stories he told and occasionally touched his arm.
It seemed as though I had been so consumed in my own self-preservation, that I had stopped paying attention to the relationships around me. I lowered my head and stared at my food, unsure of how I felt about this. Gale and I could probably define ourselves as friends now, even though I hadn't fully forgiven him. I didn't like Sydney, well at least I thought I didn't. Maybe that's why Gale wasn't as close to Coin as he had been. It was Sydney who was manipulating him now.
But as I watched them, I realized that she wasn't manipulating him. Gale was charming, and when I took an objective look at their interactions, it was obvious that Sydney liked him. I had never been the flirty girl who had a ton of friends and talked about boys, but I could still tell when two people were interested in each other. If she made Gale happy, good for him. He deserved it after all that he had been through.
Suddenly, the fountain started to retract into the ground and a slick wooden dance floor slid over the opening. The lights dimmed slightly and music began to play. People started flooding the dance floor, and Peeta came up and took my hand. "Can I have the first dance?" He said, with mock suave. I laughed and stood up, following him out onto the dance floor.
I didn't keep track of time. I danced with Peeta for what must have been hours. Time just flew by. We were next to our squad and our friends, and despite everything, I was happy. I laughed when Finnick attempted to do a back flip in the middle of the dance floor, then he and Gale had a competition to see who was the better dancer. I didn't even know Gale could dance, and it seemed like he wasn't too sure about it either, but he wouldn't be shown up by Finnick. As I watched all of the people that I loved enjoying themselves and having fun, I couldn't help but smile, because for a moment, we weren't soldiers. We didn't have to fight for our lives. We weren't at the mercy of such evil. For that brief period of time, we were just people, living our lives and enjoying each other's company. In the back of my mind, I knew this wouldn't last, but for right now, I was content to just be.
Just like at the Capitol Banquet, I was a much sought after dance partner. Finnick was the first to cut in, sending Peeta over to dance with Annie. He twirled me around so many times, I couldn't see straight, and when he flashed me that sly smile, I was sure he had done it on purpose, so I pretended to accidentally step on his feet, and I almost collapsed I laughed so hard. Furman tapped him on the shoulder, claiming it was for his own good. Finnick kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear, "Congratulations again Katniss. I really am happy for you." I thanked him, and he was gone.
I only danced with Furman for a few songs before he was tapped on the shoulder, and Gale was standing next to him. "My turn?" He asked, looking at me for permission. I nodded, and Furman stepped aside.
Gale slipped his arms around my waste and I put mine around his neck. We just swayed in silence for a while. I thought it would feel awkward, but there was a silent recognition between the two of us that all was forgiven. Gale seemed different. I didn't know what it was, then I remembered his actions at dinner, and I smiled.
"What?" He asked, confused.
"So…you seem happy." I said with a smirk.
"I…I am. Why do you ask? Do you enjoy my misery?" He said sarcastically.
"No!" I laughed. "I just…I saw you at dinner, with Sydney. There has to be something going on there."
"O…yeah…well, it just kind of happened I guess. I mean, nothing happened. I wish it would, but it hasn't. Not yet. I don't know what exactly it is. I mean I do, I just—"
"Gale! You're rambling." He sighed nervously. "Look…I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you've found someone. Or you might have found someone. I know that I hurt you, and I'm sorry. You've been through a lot, and you deserve to be happy. I just want you to make sure that you don't get hurt."
"Katniss. I know you think that Sydney is some sort of spy for Coin, or that she is out to get you, but she's not. She has her flaws, but all of us do. She's a little arrogant, and she has a temper, but that sounds familiar, doesn't it?" He smirked, referring to me of course. It seemed like the more I learned about this girl, the more we had in common.
"She does make me happy. I'm just not sure…I'm not sure if she feels the same, or what I should do. I mean after all, last time I loved a girl, she fell in love with someone else." He looked up from the floor and stared into my eyes. "I'll always love you Katniss, at least a little bit. Maybe not in the same way, but we were best friends for years, and you mean a lot to me. I'll still do everything that I can to protect you, but I'm done being the tortured guy who is waiting for someone he'll never have. I have to take control of my own life, and I think I've found someone who could love me as much as I love them."
"Then do something about it!" I wouldn't let this go away. He and Sydney had something, and the more I pushed it, the less he would love me, and the happier he would be. "You have to go after her. If you don't ask, you'll never know whether or not she has feelings for you."
"I don't know Katniss, I'm not—"
"No excuses!" I said, hitting his chest playfully. "Go now! And if it means anything, it seems to me like she is quite smitten with you. You've got a chance Gale. Not everyone is as cold and heartless as me." I finished sarcastically.
He laughed and pulled me in closer to him, giving me a hug. "Thanks, Catnip. We've been through a lot, and I think its time for us both to be happy." He pulled back and looked over his shoulder at Peeta, who was staring at us warily. "He's an amazing guy, you know, and he loves you more than anything. He would do anything for you, and I'm happy that its him you love. If it couldn't be me, I think Peeta Mellark is a damn good choice. Don't tell anyone, but I think I'm a little in love with him myself." He said, winking at me.
I pushed him away lightly, "Go talk to Sydney." I said with a laugh. He kissed me on the cheek and walked away, chuckling softly. Peeta came back over to me and pulled me in close to him. I rested my head on his shoulder.
"I missed you." I whispered.
"What did Gale want?" He said suspiciously.
"He…is in love with Sydney." I looked at his face to see his reaction, and his eyes widened. Then he smiled widely and shook his head.
"Well…that's good. He's over you, so I won't get any more severe brain injuries." I rolled my eyes and laid my head back on his chest. "He deserves to be happy. He is a good guy, despite the whole almost killing me thing. We've been talking more, and he apologized. I also think that he's on our side now. He's been telling Haymitch everything Coin does, so he's a triple agent…sort of."
"Wait, Gale's on our side now?" I had really been out of it. How had I missed Gale switching back to our side? "That's great, but it also must have made Coin angry."
"We've been challenging her in subtle ways. Trying to undermine her at command meetings. Planting seeds of doubt in the troops."
"Peeta…my family. She said she'd—"
"We've kept you out of it. That's why I didn't mention it to you, even thought I don't know if you would've listened based on how you were acting. The less you knew, the less you had to lie about, and the safer your family would be. I just wanted to protect you." I could sense that he was afraid I was angry, so I kissed him lightly on the lips.
"Don't worry, I'm not mad. I love you and I love that you want to protect me. I'm glad we're still fighting her. I'll find a way to help. I don't know how, but I will." We danced for a while in silence, just holding each other and enjoying the break from reality. These moments of peace were rare, and I wanted to enjoy every second of it with Peeta.
Suddenly, someone tapped Peeta on the shoulder, and he pulled away from me and turned around. Haymitch was standing there, hands crossed over his chest. "Can I cut in?" He said in his sarcastic swagger. Peeta shook it his head and kissed me again.
"I love you, Katniss, and I cannot wait to marry you. Don't forget that." He whispered in my ear. "I'll be back, but you can have her for now." He said to Haymitch.
"I love you too, Peeta." I said to him as he walked away, smiling at the thought of our marriage.
"So." Haymitch said as soon as Peeta was gone. "Baby or marriage?" I stopped at the abruptness of his question, stammering and trying to come up with an answer. How did Haymitch always know everything he shouldn't? Had he heard what Peeta said? "Don't try to hide it Katniss. I know something is going on."
"Peeta and I…decided to get married." I said finally. There was no point in trying to hide it. Haymitch would know eventually anyway.
"Well…I'm happy for you, sweetheart. I think you're hasty teenagers, but what the hell do I know?" I frowned and looked at the ground. "Don't take it that way Katniss. If you want to know the truth, if I could go back, I would change a lot. I have a lot of regrets, and I don't want you to end up like me. You're better than me, and you have something that most people only dream of. You and that boy are meant for each other, and there's no reason to deny that or pretend like you won't be together for a very long time. After what you went through, there isn't anyone else you can be with. You should do this, sweetheart. You don't want to look back and think, what if I hadn't been afraid? Trust me, its not a good feeling."
"Thanks, Haymitch. Your support means a lot." I realized that despite the fact that Haymitch was a depressing, sarcastic bastard, I loved him like a father, and he was one of the most important people in my life. "I've never thanked you. For keeping me alive. For looking out for me. You've saved me more times than I can count Haymitch, and I owe you. You were a fantastic mentor, but you're an even better friend." I was glad I had Haymitch on my side. Even though Coin had to power to destroy everyone I loved, if there was any group of people who I wanted to fight with, it would be the ones surrounding me right now. Haymitch, Gale, Peeta, Furman, Johanna, Jacobs. This was my family, as much as my mother and Prim.
"You're not so bad yourself Katniss, and I'll always be looking out for you." We didn't say anything for a while, then Haymitch spoke. "I hear you've been having problems with a certain President's daughter." He raised his eyebrows at me.
"I don't know Haymitch. I just feel like she's a spy. She's Coin's daughter, how can she be there to help me? I can't let my guard down…I just can't."
"You trust me, right?" He asked. I nodded my head. "Well, I've spoken with Sydney, and I don't think she's anything like Coin. I know she and her mother don't get along, so if Coin picked her as a spy, I think she thinks too highly of herself, or she's just oblivious. You can't choose who your parents are, Katniss."
I sighed. "That's what I keep hearing."
"So maybe you should start listening." He sounded so fatherly, like he was scolding me.
"I tried to apologize! She wouldn't let me. She said—"
"Did you mean it?" He interrupted.
"I did. I mean I was sorry I hit her, I just—"
"Did you MEAN it?" He said again. I thought about it for a second, and hung my head.
"No…I guess I didn't. Everyone's right, I judged her too quickly, and I feel terrible. I just don't know what to do…"
"Apologize again, and this time, don't put on a fake smile and pretend to be her best friend. Say what you mean, and tell her about your suspicion. Let her convince you otherwise. Just give her a shot . An honest shot." I knew he was right. I had to find Sydney and apologize for real. I had to give her a chance. Judging her and punishing her for existing made me just like Coin, and maybe if I showed her that I wasn't like Coin, I could win her over to our side too. After all, I had to have sympathy for anyone who was on Coin's bad side, and, according to Haymitch, Sydney was living a nightmare with Coin as her mother.
"I'm going now. Tell Peeta I'll be right back?" He nodded at me and let me go. I walked across the dance floor trying to find Sydney. I saw Gale, but he told me that she had gone to the restroom a while ago and hadn't come back. He was beaming from ear to ear, so I guess their talk went well.
I walked towards the bathrooms, deciding to start there because there were so many people on the dance floor it would be hard to find her in the crowd. I checked the stalls, but there was no one there, so began the walk back down the hallway to the ballroom. I got lost and realized that the upper floor of thirteen was confusing, and I turned around and tried to find my way back, but all of the hallways looked the same. I sighed in frustration, but forced myself to calm down. I started to retrace my steps when I heard a set of voices arguing in a nearby hallway. I recognized one of the voices as Sydney's, so I headed in that direction.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know I was doing something wrong." I heard her say. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. I walked hastiliy to see her.
"You are a stupid, inept girl, and you couldn't serve me correctly if I told you every move you were supposed to make. I put you on that squad because I need a knew insider." I stopped in my tracks and pressed my back against the wall. The other voice was President Coins. I wanted to talk to Sydney, but I couldn't confront Coin.
"I don't serve you. I'm not going to spy for you. These people like me! They're friends of mine, and they've been nothing but nice to me."
"Your squad? Give me a break Sydney. They fear me, that's why they aren't mean to you. No one could ever like you. Why would they? They're just being overly nice to you because they are trying to use you against me, but obviously you wouldn't realize that."
"That's not true. Gale cares about me. "
"Gale? That boy is a joke. He doesn't like you. How could any boy like you Sydney? I used him for long enough, I would know, but now he has shown his true colors, and he shouldn't be trusted. You would do well to listen to me. He's using you Sydney, they all are. I'm the only one who looks out for, although I don't know why I do." Coin sounded angry, but in a different way. She was almost bitter, and then I remembered that she had…been…with Gale before, so it almost sounded like she was jealous, but imagining Coin with any feeling other than anger and icy disdain was impossible for me.
"If they are using me, then why does Katniss Everdeen hate me? Wouldn't it be a better strategy for her to get close to me? Isn't she the mastermind of the supposed plan to overthrow you? She is your worst enemy, isn't she? A seventeen year old girl." I heard Sydney laugh sarcastically.
"Katniss Everden may be the only person in this world who is more oblivious and idiotic than you. She doesn't think, she just acts. She wouldn't know how to manipulate someone if she tried. She will never amount to anything. She is a simple girl whose rashness will eventually get her killed." I peeked out from behind the wall slightly, and I could see that Coin was facing away from me.
"Katniss Everdeen is ten times the person you'll ever be. I know she hates me, but I believe in her. She's a good person, unlike you. You know what, I hope she overthrows you because I'd almost rather lose this war than have you be the leader of Panem—"
Her sentence was cut of by a sharp crack that filled the air. Coin had hit her across the face. She would up and backhanded her again. "Don't ever speak to me like that again. You're brave Sydney, but you're also naïve. I could crush you, and I would, don't doubt that for a second. You mean nothing to me. You need me to survive, and without me you're nothing, and you'll have no one." She pinched Sydney's cheek mockingly. "Now I have a party to get to dear. Enjoy the rest of your night."
Coin turned back towards me and walked down the hallway. I slid back behind the wall and hid in a doorway, praying she didn't turn down the hall I was standing in. She walked right past me, and I let out a sigh of relief. I waited until I heard her footsteps disappear, and I came out from my hiding place. I saw Sydney standing right where she had been. Tears streamed down her face, but she didn't move. I could never have been more wrong than I was about Sydney, but now I had a chance to make up for it.
"Sydney!" I shouted, walking towards her. She jerked her head up and looked at me. She turned around and walked quickly away from me, trying to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "Wait! I need to talk to you." I tried to stop her, but she had disappeared through a doorway. I picked up my pace until I was almost running, but the heels I was wearing prevented me from catching up to her. I went through the same door she had, and noticed it led to a set of steps. I looked up and saw she was going up. I could only assume these steps led to the surface because we had been on the top floor.
I sighed and began my ascent. The distance between the top floor and the surface was three times that between any two floors. Eventually, I stopped on a landing and took off my shoes. I left them there and figured I would just come back for them later. Now that I could actually move, I ran hastily up the steps. I opened the hatch that led to the surface, and pulled myself up into the cool night air.
I had always come through the main doorway, so I was disoriented when I stood up. I looked around, trying to figure out where I was, but the forest around me all looked the same. I saw Sydney's shadow disappear into the woods to my left, so I ran after her. I crashed through trees and shrubs, until finally I was behind her. "Will you just wait?" I said, gasping for breath.
She stopped and stared at me with her huge green eyes. I could see that despite her efforts, the tears were still falling. "Still think I'm in it with President Coin?" She said, her voice shaking. She tried to laugh, but she only sobbed. I don't know why, but I hugged her. We weren't friends. I had been nothing but evil to her over the past few weeks, but I wanted to comfort her. I expected her to push me away or scoff at me, but she just put her head on my shoulder and cried.
"No…I don't." I answered finally. She pulled away from me. Haymitch had said to be honest, so I did. I knew that Sydney wasn't in with President Coin. She couldn't be, not after what I had just seen.
"You have no idea what its like. You think you have it bad? I've had to live alone with her for twelve years. Whatever you think about President Coin, its ten times worse than that. She is a tyrant, and she needs to be stopped." She sighed. She had stopped crying, but I knew she didn't feel any better. She had just run out of tears. I knew the feeling, and my heart ached for this girl. I couldn't imagine having President Coin as your parent. "Don't pity me Katniss. I don't want that. I just want you to understand that the last thing I would ever do is work with my mother." She spit out the last word with disdain.
"I don't think that, not any more. I judged you, and I'm sorry. I tried to apologize earlier, but you wouldn't let me, but I really am sorry." I held my hand out as a peace offering. She stared at it for a second, then shook it firmly. We weren't friends, but we were no longer enemies. It felt good. "Let's head back to that party. No reason to let Coin ruin a whole evening." Sydney laughed and we began to head out of the woods and back towards the hatch.
Suddenly, Sydney stopped walking. "Do you hear that?" She asked. Her eyes were narrowed and it looked like she was concentrating hard on something.
"Hear what?" I asked, confused. "I didn't hear any—" but she held her finger to her lips, urging me to be quiet. I listened carefully, trying to determine what she was talking about. I turned my head to the side away from Sydney, trying to pick up a sound. Then I heard it, a quiet rustling noise. It sounded like footsteps.
"Its probably just some animal." I said, turning back towards her, but she wasn't there. She had been standing right behind me just seconds ago, but she had vanished. "Sydney?" I whispered. "Syd—" I heard a low hum fill the air around my head, then pain shot through my body, and I slumped to the floor. I couldn't move, I felt something prick my arm, and then the world began to fall out of focus. I heard a deep laugh before the sky started spinning, and everything went black.