NOTE: This chapter is written in Annika'spoint of view, hence first person. I've been getting requests for some more chapters with both her and the twins. Anyways, onto the story!

Telling my parents the truth was definitely not as bad as telling my brothers and kid sister; sure, you'd think my mom crying her eyes out and beating me over the head with her Bible was bad, but once my brothers knew, everyone knew—Annika is a fag; a he-she; a she-male; a dyke; I heard every word. It hurt. A lot. I knew this would happen, though, and the brunt of the insults came from Toby. Little asshole. I wanted nothing more that to beat him so hard that candy came out. I remember beating a girl up in middle school for looking at me sideways and just being a little bitch—I could do that with my brother. It's easy.

Even when that bastard was little, Toby took tantrums and was just…ugh! A little fart, really. It was like the best part of him ran down the crack of mamma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. He just was not pleasant. As he grew, so didn't his ego, always bragging about girls drooling over him in school because he was "all that". Sure, he was good-looking with his longish blond hair, blue eyes, and the charming smile he inherited from our father. His face was a blend of both Mamma and Dad.

When Thanksgiving came, we all had to go support that little bastard that morning at his football game. I didn't even want to go, but the whole family went except for the twins; I don't know where they had gone. Anyways, I froze my ass off in those bleachers even though it wasn't entirely cold. Maybe the wind made it cold. Next to me was Jules and then next to him with Christopher. To my left was Elina, who sat next to dad who sat next to mamma. The majority of the people watching the game were pretty far away from where we were sitting. It was kinda obvious why, though, but I wasn't sure if it was because of my dad's deformity or me dressed in men's clothing. Or, maybe Elina's snow-white hair. Nah, scratch that—Elina was loved, admired, and wherever she went, people stared and just was in awe at how extremely beautiful and gorgeous she was. It couldn't have been because of her.

Number 79. Quarterback. Toby. Little egoistical asshole, looking at him run across the field to score the Barnwell team another touchdown, their fifth of the Thanksgiving game. We ended up winning, and I looked at everyone I was sitting with, my family. I think mamma and I were the quietest except when he scored the team points or got a touchdown. Then,I was the quiet one. Dad was frantically enthusiastic, and Elina just clapped her hands and smiled, riled up slightly by the spur of the moment. Christopher and Jules…forget it. They were raving and screaming like it was the Super Bowl of the century. I was just sitting there, thinking of Audrey as the wind blew in my face. I wished she was there with me; she's the best distraction.

When the game ended, I stood up and readjusted my pants, but then everyone came off the bleachers to greet their sons, nephews, or grandsons who had played the game that day. Toby had removed his helmet and wow! His hair was drenched, and I mean drenched with sweat. I walked up to the family, where I saw dad giving him a tough handshake and rough hug. He was wearing those huge shoulder pads, but he was still a peewee in my eyes. He was shorter than me by a couple inches—that was pretty sad.

"We're proud of you, son," I heard our dad say.

"I barrel-assed past that bull on the other team! Got me a touchdown! Several!" Toby exclaimed, bragging per usual. "Imma miss this when I graduate." Then I remembered he was senior; he was a seventeen year old little shit. Peewee. Scumbag. Asshole. Well, I don't want to stoop to his level but seriously, how would he like it? Then I saw Grandpa Dell come up to him and give him a rough hug; what was the draw about this punk kid?

"You knocked 'em dead!" he exclaimed, his voice a hoarse roar of excitement.

"Yeah!"

Then I saw another football player from the home team approach him, his helmet off and surprisingly, he wasn't sweating like my pig brother. His face was cut like glass, and his eyes were blue and he had brownish hair. He was the same height as my brother, and when I saw him push him on the back from behind, I chuckled. Too bad he was just joking—I would've wanted to see him fall over.

"Hey! You won us another game, bub," the guy with brownish hair said with a chuckle.

"Hey! Watch yourself," Toby responded arrogantly, regaining his balance. "Oh, it's you, David."

"Yeah," he replied.

I saw this 'Dave' glance over at me, and then to my kid sister, Elina, who wore a thick cardigan over her dress that went below the knees. The way he looked at her was the way I look at Audrey, and I felt like I was missing something. I glanced over at Elina to see her snowy blonde hair blowing in the wind. I saw him take a step forward; was I missing something? Well, I heard their conversation.

"Elina," he said politely. "I didn't expect to…see you."

"Hm," she muttered. "It's nice to see you again." She sounded like she didn't even want to see him, but then I glanced at our dad, who looked at the guy with his stay-away-from-my-daughter kind of face.

"I ain't seen you since that day in the market," he said, moving closer to her. I watched them. "How are you?"

"I'm well," Elina answered in a friendly manner. Where the hell did she meet him? They weren't even in the same grade! Wait, did I just mention the farmer's market. Oh…shit. Never mind.

The boy seemed to be at a loss for words, but either way, I could see our dad glaring at him like he was a punk kid. Uh, dad, you should be looking in your own family for that punk kid. I don't think this David person is a punk.

"So…when…uh…are you…having…uh…" He stammered. "Are you having turkey later?"

"Yeah," she said.

"You should…uh…come by my house. It's a nice house. We're on a plantation. We get turkey freshly killed for today. I think the butcher brought it this mornin'," he said. Is this guy fucking blind? Could he not see that dad looked like he was about to rip him to shreds for associating with his precious little girl? Dad's eyes narrowed at him, but they loosened up once he went over to shake his hand.

"Hey there, Mr. Darling. Nice to see you," David said with a million dollar grin as though he had just gotten lucky. Dad shook his hand to be polite, and just looked at him.

"Hey," he said. He sounded condescending. Ok, dad, you can stop being a jerk. He's only being nice. Jeez.

"Still tired from the market?" David asked, cracking a joke to try and wipe the glare of dad's face.

"Nah," he replied. I saw him look at me and then to mamma, and then down at Elina, who stared back at David. I could see her eyes were on fire; not literally, though. I'm just saying, she had a stare that could burn through your soul like hell or ignite feelings in you. It was pretty strange, but in that case, this is the latter.

"We should be going now," dad said. He must've thought we were all stupid. I knew he only wanted to get Elina away from David. Come to think of it, I remember him trying to do that at her birthday party just before Halloween during the second half after I arrived; what was he so worried about?

"No, dad, not yet," Toby protested. "My stuff's in the locker room."

"Hurry up and get it!" Dad snapped; he was just aggravated.

Once Toby sprinted off the field toward the locker room that was an extension of the school, I looked at dad. In the meantime, David was trying to make conversation with, not necessarily flirt with, Elina; I saw a subtle hint of infatuation in his eyes, though, in the way he looked at her. I know all too well that the way he looked at her was the way all girls want to be looked at. I look at Audrey the same way. I didn't see what the big deal was, and even if they did have chemistry, who cares?

"I like your sweater," I heard the boy say to my sister.

"Thanks," she answered. His lips parted into a slight smile.

"So…I was wondering if…" I saw him glance up, and then I noticed he was looking at dad. He continued anyways, "well, if you wanted to hang out sometime. If you want, I'll look you up in the phonebook directory. We can…go to the coffeehouse or…the park? I'll leave it up to you." I saw her sneak a glance back at our father, who looked at them both as though they were going to be struck down by lightning. I rolled my eyes, but then I saw mamma, who was in a conversation with my brothers in Swedish.

"Well," Elina began. She was nervous. "I…I don't know."

"Everything'll be on me," David promised.

Then, that little shit Toby came back to us, dressed in his normal clothes with a letter jacket of the Barnwell High School colors. Elina didn't even have the chance to answer David definitely. I saw dad wave his hand at my brother, who smiled, his stupid-looking dimple showing. We ended up leaving, and I couldn't help but feel bad for Elina. Sweet little Elina, pure and innocent. All dad was trying to do was look out for her, but I still felt bad for her. It was like she was never going to learn how life was, especially with a guy. Yet, I was also jealous; he never looked out for me like that. Then again, she is the daughter I could never have been to our parents.

That night, after we all had turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce, I was in my trailer; I wanted privacy, especially since I received a letter from…Dale? Yeah, Dale. One of my longtime friends. It was good to see he was still living in New York. I hadn't spoken to any of my friends much since arriving in South Carolina. The funny thing is, mail never came on holidays down there. Today was special, I guess. I opened the envelope, which was kinda thick, and I saw two letters and one was written on plain notebook paper. I unfolded it and looked at it, reading every bit of my friend's scribbling:

"Annika,

Hope all's well down south. The guys have all been good. Me too. We've been worried about you, wondering when you'll come back. Weren't you only down there for your kid sister's birthday? Or did you get stuck down there for Thanksgiving? We hope to hear from you soon. Call me, you have the number to the apartment.

-Dale, Richie, Bob, Mike

PS: Audrey tried to reply to your letter. I included it with this. You still have her address, right?"

Audrey! My darling angel Audrey, love of my life. I thought of her everyday since coming back down to see my family, and now that I had her response in the envelope, I frantically took it, excited that she answered me at all. What did she have to say? If only I could hear her soft, feminine voice lulling in my ear sweet nothings or how much she loves me, I thought. The perfect cursive…the smell of the fine parchment…my eyes caressed the page:

"Hello Annika,

I'm sorry it took so long to answer your letter. I've been really busy with an internship at the local hospital, and I have another week left! Isn't that exciting? Well, of course it is, for me. Then I graduate nursing school and off to a good career I go.

So, South Carolina, huh? Putting some miles on that camper, I see. I'm getting a brand new car soon. My old one's a lemon. I don't have any particular model in mind, but I'll be happy with anything. My parents are paying for most of it.

How have you been? I hope you're alright, and I can't wait to see you again. When will you be back in New York? Winter is coming, though. I wouldn't want you stuck at the airport while a blizzard is going on.

That's all for now but do give me a call when you get a chance. My number is still the same, but I have my own little apartment now. Here is my new address: 155 Ridge Road, Apt # 6. Kingston, New York, 01421.

With love,

Audrey

xoxoxo"

All those x's and o's at the very end was the icing on the cake—she still loved me. It had hurt me when she wanted to take a break to focus on school and her internships but I felt like everything wrong had faded away. I waited for her; patience was a virtue after all. I knew her number off the top of my head, but I didn't call her until late that night. I had snuck into the house during the very early hours of morning, due to no phone being in my camper, and once I was sure everyone was asleep I went to the living room. I flicked on the lamp beside the sofa and plopped down, spinning the dial on the phone before picking up the receiver. When she picked up, my heart raced.

"Hello?" She sounded a bit weary; I hoped to not have woken her up.

"Hey, Audrey?" She recognized me! Oh boy!

"Annika?" she asked, her tired tone turning to an excited one.

"Yeah, it's me," I said. "I hope I didn't wake you up."

"No, I just kinda fell asleep studying," she said with a giggle. I heard the ruffling of papers and a thud in the background.

"I got your letter," I said after a moment of awkward silence. "You said to call you. I was hesitant, but—"

"It's ok. There's no need to apologize," Audrey told me. "I wanted to hear from you."

"Great," I said with a smile.

"So how is South Carolina?" she asked.

"It's alright. I grew up here after all," I said.

"I bet it's lovely, the farm you guys have."

"Actually," I said. "It's kinda boring, really." I paused. "Well, I haven't done any farm work or…anything. There was a farmer's market and my brother had his football game, so…"

"A farmer's market?"

"Yeah," I said. "But I couldn't go."

"Why not?" She sounded a bit shocked but in a playful way.

"I had a doctor's appointment," I told her; I was planning on telling her his prognosis.

"Why?" she asked with concern.

"I got checked out."

"Are you ok?" I could tell she was prying me open now—she was my weakness. I had to tell her the truth, and I had an underlying feeling she would accept me for who I am.

"Well…it's heavy stuff," I told her.

"Tell me, please," she begged. I sighed, looking down at my pants and putting a hand on my lap as I adjusted the way I was sitting.

"Well, I'm not going to pussy-foot around," I said. "I'm a male."

"What?" she asked me with disbelief.

"The doctor said I was supposed to be born a boy. I was born without, you know, a womb, a cervix, and ovaries and all that. I was only called a girl at birth because my parts are external only."

"You're kidding," she said. I couldn't really assess her reaction fully. Her tone seemed neutral.

"I'm not kidding you, love," I said. "The doctor gave me a referral for a surgery that's gonna fix me up. I told both my parents. My dad's ok with it, but my mom…" I scoffed. "Forget it. She'll beat me over the head with her Bible every day until she convinces me it's wrong to become what I'm supposed to be in the first place."

"Annika." She caught my attention, so I listened. "If you need to have the surgery, or would benefit from it, I will support you every step of the way. And…I'll…I'll still love you."

My heart melted; if only she had been there that night. I would have held her, kissed her, and caressed her. Hell, I would've given up anything just to write poetry on her skin with my lips, her sighs the music to what I'd write. I missed nights with her; they were long and passionate. Even now, I'm still in love with Audrey like the first night we met. She changed my life; got me out of drugs, understood me, listened to me no matter how stupid I sounded, and she supported me, even through this dilemma. Hell, she still does.

"I love you, too, Audrey," I blurted. "So much it kills me."

"Well, don't die on me," she joked; I laughed.

"I won't if you won't," I said with a chuckle, smiling brighter than ever before in my life.

We talked until 4:00 AM. We really caught up, and it wasn't long until I realized we had a lot of catching up to do. When I got more in depth about the surgery in the works for me, she listened to every word no matter how graphic I was when describing the actual procedure of making a ding-dong on me. I still didn't know if the hormones were to be injected or ingested; it was all so new to me. Then we caught up on personal matters. Hell, I wouldn't have been surprised if she asked me to come back to New York just to have me be hers again. Sadly, the conversation didn't end on that note. I was a bit disappointed, but I thought to myself, hey, she isn't ready just yet.

"It's late, Annika," she said.

"When can we talk again?" I asked.

"Soon," she said. I heard her yawn. "It was wonderful to talk to you again. I've missed you."

"I've missed you even more," I told her.

"I love you." She hung up the phone—I felt so happy; a rush came over me. It was far greater than any gram of cocaine I ever snorted; far greater than any hit of smack I got and how it rushed through my veins; far greater than the world shrooms take you to. Audrey is my drug; the thought stuck with me.