Chapter Sixty Five

Garrett

I had insisted on meeting Esme in Boston with Carlisle, I wanted to see if shed made any headway with Bella but when I saw the healing scars on her throat I knew she hadn't. Charlie looked better though so it couldn't have been all bad. I looked around expecting to see Peter or Charlotte maybe but they were alone.

"How did it go?"

Charlie looked at Esme,

"How does it look like it went? She's angry, extremely angry with you, with Esme, with just about everyone except me. I don't know what happened but we came to some kind of understanding, I think she forgives me for my part in her fate."

"Did she mention me? Is she still ready to kill me?"

"Let's just say I'd keep as many miles between you and her as you can. I'm not sure she's finished yet."

"What about him? The Major I mean? Is he getting through to her?"

Charlie studied me for a few seconds before replying,

"You know I think maybe he is somehow and let me make one thing clear. As far as I'm concerned you stay away from my daughter. I don't know all the details but I do know whatever happened between the two of you any feelings there were have gone, everything except rage and contempt."

"I made mistakes but I can put them right"

"No, I don't think you can Garrett and I don't think she'd give you the chance either. The worst thing you did was to lie to her. You lied about who changed her and she's never going to forget or forgive that Garrett. Don't say I haven't warned you."

Carlisle

I was shocked to think that Bella had actually attacked Esme and I did wonder if it wasn't Jaspers influence but Esme read my mind as she often did.

"This was Bella on her own Carlisle. Jasper stopped her or she would have killed me. She hates us for deceiving her and I can't see how we can put it right. I think we have to accept that she's gone from our lives."

"Yes she has, I'd never ask you to look after her again. I wouldn't have before if I'd had any idea what you were like. Now I'm going home and I expect never to see any of you again"

Charlie turned and walked slowly away as I watched. He had a point but sometimes you distorted the truth for the greater good. Bella would have been better off with Garrett if only he could keep his temper under better control. They made a handsome couple but I knew that was only a pipe dream now. The best we could hope for was that Jasper could talk Bella out of any more attacks and then again why would he? He had no reason to love us, not after the things we'd done. I put an arm around Esme,

"Come on my love lets get you home and then we can hunt. You've done all you can with Bella, its time to let her go"

"Yes, she's already let us go Carlisle but more than that, she showed me how wrong I was, how wrong we were, to lie to her and send Jasper away. He's the one who will save her from her demons if anyone can, not Garrett, not her father or anyone else, only him. I saw it in his eyes Carlisle, he truly loves her."

Garrett

It hurt to hear Esme's words but I guess it was always going to be like this, I would never own Bella's heart even though I saw her first and I know she liked me. I may have pushed her too hard and I may have lost my temper when I shouldn't but I truly believed that all I'd done was for her benefit and I certainly never put her in danger deliberately. I lost it when I deceived her, I should have told her the truth and maybe she would still be here with me...but no, she belonged to Jasper, I just hoped he could turn her around before it was too late. If I could help I would but I didn't see there was anything I could do to make a difference. I would simply keep looking and maybe I'd find my own Bella one day. I said goodbye to the Cullens and went on my way alone. I knew if I were still in danger Carlisle would warn me but until or unless that call came I would live my life the way I always did, alone but always hopeful.

Carlisle

Rose and Emmett were eager to hear the outcome of our visit although one look at poor Esme told them everything they could ever want to know.

"She wouldn't listen to you then?"

"No, although I did apologise but she made a kind of peace with her father and I was grateful for that. I would hate to think of her estranged from Charlie."

"Didn't he come back with you?"

"No, he went home to wait. Jasper promised that Bella would ring and I know he's still hopeful of showing Bella the error of her ways. This has taught me one thing though, something I should have known all along, never lie to those you care about because when they find out, and they always will, you will never be forgiven however noble your reasons for doing so might have been. Rose you were right, I should have told Bella who her sire was, we should have contacted him and asked him to come back. But we didn't and now there's a terrible mess to clear up. I think I might go up and have a soak in the tub Carlisle, I'm not ready to hunt yet."

I looked at her with concern, just healing those wounds should have made her thirsty, how could she not be ready to hunt?

"Very well, I'll wait for you my love"

She nodded and went upstairs watched by all of us.

"Where are Edward and Alice?"

"Out, they spend most of their time out these days. Alice did say she saw a positive outcome for Bella so maybe she saw her forgiving Charlie. Maybe she'll realise everything now. Do you think we'll ever see her again Carlisle?"

"I doubt it Rose, the Cullens aren't her favourite people these days and I think we should leave her alone, at least for now. Let Jasper bring her round and maybe one day in the future she'll remember your kindness to her and contact you."

Esme

I didn't really want a bath and I was thirsty but I felt I needed punishing for the things I'd done. All my life, human and vampire, I'd striven to be a good person, I loved my children and by extension Bella too. Her father had placed her in my care and I had lied to her, turned her into the terrible thing I saw on the island. How could I ever put right the things I had done to that poor girl? A girl I thought of as another daughter for the short time I knew her. I had changed since becoming a vampire, I'd tried so hard not to let it change me, to be the loving kind person I had always been but when it came down to it I was no better than anyone else, Garrett, Jasper, his friends. I had the same wants, needs, and desires, and I had put my own ideas before what I could feel was right. As I sank into the water I felt the ridges on my throat where Bella had attacked me. They would never disappear, they would be a constant reminder to do better, to try harder, and never ever make the same mistake again.