Chapter 11

The moon was high in the sky, near its peak. Aang and Katara were sound asleep in Katara's bed. Hakoda was still absent; he had left a message saying he would be home the next afternoon. The only one awake is Sokka. He rolled around in his bed for the hundredth time, his body tired but his mind active. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened today; all they had learned. It seemed impossible to him that anything like this could happen to his friends.

What could a bunch of teenagers do against these villains? Do they have what it takes to take these people down? Aang seemed to believe they could do it; he made it sound like they had a chance. And if there was anything Sokka learned about the kid: he was brave and truthful. Sokka trusted him with everything he's got, even Katara. She had seemed much happier ever since Aang came into their lives. And he had to admit to himself that Aang had turned into his brother. Everyone in the Gang had become family to him. He wouldn't change that for anything in the world.

And suddenly, he knew why he couldn't sleep. So, being as quiet as he can be, Sokka got up from the big bed and got dressed. Grabbing his keys off the desk, he opened his door and slunked out. Before going downstairs, he peeked in on Aang and Katara. The couple were in a loving embrace: Aang close to the wall with his bare arm around her middle with Katara's back against his chest, both breathing easily. Sokka smiled. They looked good together. It was a relief to know that Katara was protected. And it was nice to know that he could trust Aang. No one could have loved her more than him, or be willing to sacrifice himself to protect the people he loved. Closing the door gently behind him, the older boy went downstairs and out the front door towards his car. After getting in and starting the engine did he wonder if Suki was asleep; or if she and her mom were still grieving. He shrugged and pulled out of the driveway.

The streets were dark with the lampposts giving off an orange glow beside the black top. It reminded Sokka of the night he found out about his mother's death. He shivered; that was one memory he didn't like to relive. He thought about his grieving for his mother. He understood how Suki felt, not knowing what happened to a family member. The night his mother died was said that she was found in an alley beside the market. They couldn't understand how she had passed on because they couldn't find anything but some bruises. None of them were life threatening, so the mystery remained unsolved. Now Sokka wondered: what if she was killed the same way the rich families were?

It would make sense that they couldn't find anything. Maybe she was forced to drink the poison. Sokka sighed, feeling the ache in his heart like he always when thinking about Kya. Nothing was ever the same again after the incident. It was like the world was out to ruin everything.

He drove onto Suki's street and parked in her driveway and sat there for a moment, watching the place. All the lights were on, so Suki and Lin must still be up. He remembered when he couldn't sleep after the grave news. They were probably having the same trouble. It hurt him to know that Suki and her mom was going through that pain. He took a deep breath before getting out of the car. Walking up to the door, he steeled his nerves and knocked on it. A few seconds later the door opened to show a red-eyed Lin, her face showing surprise when her eyes landed on him.

"Sokka?" she asked. He nodded, and suddenly found himself in Lin's arms. She let go after a few moments and brought him into the house. After closing the door, she faced him and gave a watery smile. "I'm so glad you're here, son," she said. "I was hoping you would stay tonight, but you left without saying anything. Would you like to sit down and have something to drink, or do you want to go see Suki?"

"I would like to see Suki," he said, looking up the stairs. "I'm worried about her. I want to make sure she's okay."

Lin nodded. "You have a right to be." She looked up the stairs and sighed. "This is very hard for her. She and Sam were very close. He taught everything he knew about the electronics his company sold; even went as far as to get them for her. He also paid for her Karate classes. They did almost everything together." She looked at him and smiled. "I'm glad she found you though," she said warmly. "I couldn't have asked for a better son." Sokka blushed and grinned. It was one of the times where he felt like this woman was his mother. When Kya died, he came to rely on Lin to be there for him and his little sister. He didn't know what would have happened to Katara and him if Lin had not been around.

After hugging Lin again, Sokka excused himself and went upstairs. At his girlfriend's door, he could see the weak light from under it, indicating that she was using her desk lamp. She would use it if the overhead light was too much for her head. He bit his lip, thinking for a moment. Should he knock, walk in, or leave her be? She would probably want to be by herself for a while, to get her emotions under control. But then, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he left his girlfriend in this state? He came out here to check on her; and that was exactly what he was going to do. Taking another breath, he opened the door as quietly as possible. There she sat at her desk witb the lamp on, staring out the window. From her slumped shoulders, Sokka could tell that she was beyond miserable; beyond heartbroken. The world could have ended and she wouldn't even notice. It seemed like her world had ended when the news reported her father's death.

He walked into the room and gently closed the door. Suki didn't make any move, and he wondered why. Usually she would sense if there was another presence in the same room. 'She must really be out of it' Sokka thought. "Suki?" he asked softly.

She jumped and whirled around. Her confusion turned into surprise, a glimmer of happiness, to shock at the sight of him. She pressed a hand to her pounding heart. "Sokka?" she asked. "What are you doing here? It's -" She stopped and looked at the clock. "12:36 in the morning."

He walked closer to her so the space between them shrank. "I couldn't sleep. So I thought I'd come and check on you. Are you doing okay?" Alright, that was a stupid question. Of course she wasn't okay. She just lost her father for the Spirits' sake! But knowing Suki like he did, she was going to put on the brave act and shrug it off.

His thoughts being true when she stood up and shrugged. "I'm alright." She bit her lip and looked away, unsure of what to say now. She knew Sokka could read her like an open book, so he could see through her facade. Sure enough, Sokka walked over to her and cupped her chin to bring her eyes to his. And that's when the dam broke. Tears spilled out of her cobalt eyes and she threw her arms around him. Burying her head in his chest, Suki cried her heart out. Sokka held onto his girlfriend tightly and rocked gently back and forth, rubbing small circles on her back. "It's okay; calm down. Everything will be fine."

"It's so unfair," she mumbled in his shirt, choking. "Why my dad? He never did anything to hurt anyone!"

He held her tighter, swallowed the lump in his throat and said, "I don't know, Suki. Sometimes these things happen, even in the nicest of towns. But your dad wouldn't want you to feel this way. He's still here with you; and always will be as long as you believe it. Okay?" She nodded and he kissed her temple before rocking again.

They stayed like that for what felt like forever until Suki's cries turned into hiccups. Even when those were done they didn't let one another go.

Then Suki lifted her head and gave a weak smile. "Thanks," she said softly.

"No problem," he said just as quietly. He pulled her onto the bed and just held her closely. They didn't know how long they stayed like that. The night wore on, and Sokka and Suki were in their own little sad bubble.

Then Sokka sighed and said, "I'm sorry."

Suki looked at him, confused. "Why are you apologizing?" she asked.

He sighed again and said, "Because of what had happened to you and Lin. I'm sorry because I know what you're going through and wishing you didn't have to. It's like having your lungs ripped out of you, leaving you standing there with no way to breathe." He looked at her. "I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before; not even Katara." He took another deep breath before saying, "I actually thought of killing myself." Suki gasped and gaped before he continued. "I wanted to because I thought it was my fault. Mom had asked me if I wanted to go with her. I had said no; it had been a very tiring day for me and she left. It wasn't until late that night when the police came to tell us what had happened." Tears gathered in his azure eyes and he gulped, feeling the ache again. "Back then, I had thought 'If I had gone with her, this wouldn't have happened.' And I really wanted to die. But then I thought 'If I kill myself now, who's going to take care of Katara when dad is away?' My dad had special alarms rigged in the house back home. Thinking about Katara was what helped me realize that I had to live. You were another reason I had to stay alive too."

Suki had been staring at him throughout his story. Now, hearing him say she was another reason for him living made her feel... good? Happy? Honored? She wasn't sure; but at least she knew he thought about her. Sokka continued. "When I saw your face at the funeral, I knew everything was going to be okay. Even though there were friends and family there, it was you coming that meant the most to me. I didn't know what I would do if you weren't there for us. It meant a lot. So, thank you." He hugged her tightly again as the tears flowed down his cheeks. Suki was shocked beyond words, she hugged him back. Learning something like this was huge, and when he said he had never told anyone this, it showed that he trusted her. And she felt honored by that. Not to mention loved; always loved.

So Suki decided to tell him her thoughts as well. She took a breath and lifted her head to look into the eyes she fell in love with. Lifting her hand to his cheek she said, "I have to tell you something too." He looked at her and waited patiently. She took a deep breath before plunging into her confession. "I thought about killing myself too." He looked bewildered. She went on before he could say anything. "I wanted to the moment I saw Dad's picture on TV. I wanted to die right there thinking 'I should have done something to save him.' But then I saw you and our friends, faces sorrowful and grief stricken. And I knew I had to stay. I saw my mom, too. She would forever be in mourning if she lost me too; maybe commit suicide at the first opportunity. I couldn't do that to her." She looked at his face, water falling from her vast eyes. "And there was you to think about. I couldn't stand it if you grieved for me as well. It would rip my soul apart piece by piece. It would hurt me to see you hurt, like your pain would be mine."

She smiled at him lovingly. "So I decided to spare us the pain neither of us could handle." She leaned her face closer to his, lips almost touching. "I love you, Sokka," she whispered. "I love you so much it hurts to be away from you."

Sokka closed his eyes for a moment before looking at her again, almost as if he were trying to memorize her beautiful face. The same face he fell in love with when they were kids. He knew she was something special, even back then, and he thanked his heart and the Spirits for leading him to her. Then he said, "I love you too, Suki. More than you will ever know." Then he kissed her softly but deeply. Suki's arms went around his neck and pulled him closer. His arms tightened around her back, closing as much space as humanly possible.

The next thing they knew, Sokka was on top of Suki with his shirt off and her tank top on. His lips trailed her neck and collarbone. Suki moaned quietly and gripped his body closer to hers. He returned to her lips and kissed her deeply. She returned it just as passionately. They never wanted this to end. But the need for air became too great. He kissed her one more time before getting off of her. She laid her head on his warm smooth chest, listening to his heartbeat slow down. He closed his arms around her and pulled the covers over them.

Lin found them like that the next morning; fast asleep, holding each other closely, comfort and warmth and love surrounding them like a blissful shroud.