I live! Daaah...I'm soo sorry I kept forgetting to update ^^; so very lazy...
CHAPTER ELEVEN
IKE
All things considered, he hadn't the faintest idea of what he should do.
Ike leaned against the entrance to the cave, looking thoughtfully at the two sleeping Branded inside. The syringe with the antidote that could save one of their lives was gripped tightly in his left hand.
He knew that Zelgius would insist that he give it to Kita—and since her legs weren't broken, she was definitely more likely to survive the following several days than her brother, if she were the one to recover.
But his heart said differently. His heart stubbornly insisted that he should walk over there and plunge the damn needle in Zelgius' arm, let the Branded boy be the one to recover. His mind said that Kita was the logical choice, yet his legs didn't move a step in her direction.
Dammit...What do I do...?
GAMES HEADQUARTERS
"You're a cruel woman, Micaiah Altina Deyan." Shinon said flatly.
The Branded woman rolled her eyes. "Really, my dear Shinon. I told you that it was the Head Gamemaker's condition for the discount."
"Are you trying to drive my tribute insane? Or does it just happen naturally with you, 'Maddy'?"
"I'm not mad! Just heightening the drama...!"
The beorc snorted. "We all know who he's going to pick, anyway. He's just going to torture himself over it for a few hours first, is all."
"We'll see."
IKE
A few hours later, and Ike had barely gotten a few minutes sleep before the dawn was upon him. The syringe was still tightly clenched in his hand, and he still hadn't made his decision; with a sigh, he slipped it into his pack and retrieved his sword, deciding that he would make his choice later.
A few more hours passed. Kita woke up briefly and managed to choke down a little food; Zelgius still refused to eat anything at all. Neither managed to remain coherent for longer than ten minutes; both were sinking deeper into their fevers, as the poison raced through their systems. At the rate it was going, and based on what his mother had taught him, Ike guessed they had maybe a day left before they wouldn't wake up at all.
He had to make his decision soon, but his heart and mind were locked in an argument and his choice would be based on the result of that argument, so for now he had to wait and sort it out. It wasn't easy. His heart was a stubborn thing, and his mind was no less.
On his second hunting trip of the day, though, he ran into something unexpected.
As Ike weaved carefully through the forest and boulders, his blade at the ready, he almost didn't notice the snare at his feet before he stepped in it. His foot froze in midair and he skipped backwards slightly in surprise, dodging around the simple rope trap.
He frowned. He only knew one person who made traps like that...
"Hey." He jumped at the voice and glanced up. Mia lay on top of one of the high boulders, looking down at him with a sad smile. "How's it going?"
"Fine," he replied, unsure of whether he should be wary or relieved. As far as he knew, the truce was still in effect...
"Did you abandon the Branded?"
"...No."
"Huh. Figured as much." She swung her legs over the edge and dropped lightly down.
Ike noticed a bandage covering her upper left arm. "Injured?"
"Uh-huh."
"Sakira's claws were poisoned..."
"I know." She bent down to check that the trap was still good. "Shinon sent me the antidote."
"Didn't think he cared."
"Same here." She stood up again.
For some reason, Ike felt a sense of District 11. Being alone, in the woods, with Mia—it was as if they were back home. That hurt—but it also made him happy. He'd forgotten how it was when they talked...
"I'm sorry," Mia suddenly said.
Ike blinked. "For what?"
"No...about the heron. Leanne."
For a brief moment, his heart ached at the memory of her—but he stubbornly pushed that aside. "It's alright," he said, more harshly than he'd intended. "I don't... I don't care."
"I always...envied her, you know." Mia continued quietly. "She...she was so lighthearted, so cheerful...never afraid to speak her mind. I was never able to do that."
"That's not true."
"So you say."
"So I know."
"Mhm..." She rolled her eyes. "Berries?" She reached in her pocket and tossed him a small bag.
He opened it and poured a few out—then frowned as he recognized them and looked back up at her. "Nightlock? Seriously?"
She laughed slightly. "Figured you wouldn't fall for that. Oh well."
He put the berries back in and tossed the bag back to her. "Why do you carry those around, anyway?"
She caught it and put it in her pocket. "I figured maybe Sakira likes berries. You never know. Poison can be extremely useful, as said lion managed to prove. I was barely conscious long enough last night to even get the antidote."
That made him remember the decision he had to make, and he winced. She noticed the motion. "...Did Shinon send you an antidote for the Branded?" she asked. "I remember at least one of them was wounded."
"Both of them are..." he mumbled. "And Micaiah—their mentor—she only sent enough for one. I don't know who to give it to..."
She patted him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Ike." she said. "You...you'll pick the one you can't live without, and that's good enough."
Ike paused for a long moment. "...Can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"Did any tributes die the night before last?"
"Didn't you see it in the sky? Or hear the cannons?"
"No, I fell asleep before I could look...and I wasn't paying attention enough to hear any cannons."
Mia thought briefly. "...District 1 boy." she finally recited. "He and the District 6 boy... killed each other after you left yesterday. Then there's the District 2 boy; you killed him. And the District 5 girl. That's all."
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it." She turned and began to walk off, but then paused and glanced back. "...Ike?"
"Yes?"
"I...well..." She sighed deeply. "Look, after today, the truce is off, alright? It...it's too late in the game for allies anymore."
He blinked, then sighed sadly. He didn't agree, but he certainly couldn't argue the point with her now. "...I...suppose. Yes."
She turned again and disappeared behind a boulder. Her breaking the truce hurt him, but he had known it was inevitable.
As he left to return to the vicinity of the cave, he thought on what she'd told him. Kurth, Skrimir, Volug, and the other girl are dead. That leaves...Me, Zelgius, Kita, Sakira, and Mia. Only five of us...and three of them are my friends. Damn.
And...what was that she said? he wondered. I'll...pick the one I can't live without? That sounds awfully...callous.
Maybe she didn't mean it that way, but...is that all she really thinks?
…...But...she's probably right. With a choice like this...which one of them could I not live without...?
But that's a moot question anyway. Only one of us will survive the Games. Maybe I should just leave them both to die...spare myself the pain of having to fight them.
...No...then I'll live with the guilt of abandoning them, and even if I die soon after and don't have to live with it long, I just can't do that. But even if I save one of them, I'll have to live with the guilt of condemning the other.
What can I do...?
Zelgius was awake when Ike returned to the cave. "Ike," he said softly as the beorc boy entered.
"Zelgius," Ike said with slight relief. "Are you—"
"I'm fine," the Branded boy interceded. "Aware, coherent, whatever you want to call it. For now."
Ike dropped his pack against the wall and sat down next to Zelgius. The antidote weighed heavily on his mind. "Um...I...I ran into Mia." He stumbled over the words, unintentional, not meaning to even bring her up but somehow managing to anyway.
"What did she do?"
"Eh, nothing. She told me who died yesterday, though."
"...Who?"
"...Skrimir, Kurth, Volug. And the Red Dragon girl."
"...that means the only ones left now are us three, Sakira, and Mia."
"I suppose so."
There was a lengthy, awkward silence. Ike felt he should say something, get Zelgius talking so he wouldn't drift off again, but words wouldn't come.
"I guess this means we're the only boys left," Zelgius suddenly said, with a small laugh. "That's got to be unusual."
"Right!" Ike spoke without thinking. "I guess this also means that, unless your secret crush really was a girl, he must be dead by now."
Zelgius fell into a stunned silence, and Ike instantly felt ashamed of himself. "Wait, I didn't—that's not what I—" So stupid, he scolded himself. Are you trying to be a jerk? Are you trying to hurt him?
"...I...suppose...so." the Branded boy said slowly. "I...well..."
"...Who...who was it?" Ike asked, stumbling over his words again. What are you saying, you idiot!?
"...I'm surprised you haven't guessed already."
"...Well...was...was it..." He paused, but only one name came to mind that he wasn't afraid to say; "Was it Leanne?"
Zelgius laughed again. "That's hardly a guess, Ike. We...well, we all loved Leanne, did we not?"
Ike sighed deeply, after a pause. "...Yes...I suppose we did. In a way." he murmured. "I might've loved her...You did...and I'm fairly sure Kita did as well. And there were so many others..."
"...Yes...we...all loved Leanne, indeed..." the Branded boy said quietly.
Ike only had to take one glance at Zelgius' eyes to see that he had guessed wrong. "She wasn't the one." he said softly.
"Hmm?"
"You loved her, but...as a friend, a sister, you know. Like the rest of us did...probably did. Not...She wasn't the one you really love, was she?"
The other boy paused for a long, long moment. "...No." he finally said, looking down at the floor. "No, she was not."
"Who was it?" Ike asked without a thought. "I mean, it can't hurt now, since he or she's probably dead already."
Zelgius blinked. Then he looked up and met Ike's eyes; and then he laughed. "Good goddess," he said softly. "No, that's not right at all. It hurts more than anything..."
"Eh...What? I don't understand."
The other boy sniffled slightly. "Exactly," he said weakly. "Goddess, Ike, but you're so dense."
Then he suddenly seemed to be right in front of Ike, and an arm came around the younger boy's shoulders to drag him closer, and Ike felt a warm sensation on his lips and realized that Zelgius was kissing him. And he realized what that meant.
He couldn't believe it. But it felt too wonderful to stop and ask why.
GAMES HEADQUARTERS
"Son of a..."
"Hah! I told you so!"
"Dammit, Micaiah!"
"Hahhaha!"
IKE
A few hours had passed. The two Branded were sleeping again, and Ike was sitting next to Zelgius, staring at the opposite wall, the taste of the older boy's lips still lingering on his as he tried to sort out exactly what had happened earlier.
I...I couldn't be the one he had a crush on, he thought flatly. We hardly know each other...do we? He...he must've been hallucinating.
But then, he wasn't hallucinating right before that. He was coherent, he was awake then. He called me by my name.
He loves me, then...? But...he was...always so concerned about the Games. He wouldn't reallyfall in love with his own ally, one of the people most likely to survive with him to the end, would he...? But then again, I don't think he would really love his enemy like that, so maybe loving me was actually the only reason he accepted the alliance...
How do I feel about this?
That's the problem. How do I feel about this?
His mind became a jumble of words and thoughts as he tried to recall his own feelings about the Branded boy;
Well I did like him, do still like him, he said we were drawn together, no I said that, I liked him enough to give him my pin, does he still have that? Wait am I sure he even meant it, did he even know what he was doing, he's been protecting me, how could he love me and then abandon me, maybe he didn't, I don't—
Wait. He latched on to that last thought; 'Maybe he didn't'? How is that even an option? He abandoned me, he said it himself! But he might've been lying to try and push me away, so killing me wouldn't hurt as much later...
…..Wait a minute. Didn't they say something about a dragon?
He focused on that and quickly brought his thoughts around, contemplating. He remembered hearing both Branded mumbling about her in their fevered sleep; he suddenly recalled Kita, in one of her coherent moments, talking about a dragon...
Medha must've been hunting, he said to himself, sorting out his thoughts into a coherent sentence; Medha was hunting and drew close to the cave; Zelgius was awake and saw her, and perhaps she was even coming towards me; he woke up Kita but didn't have time to warn me before she found them; he and Kita ran to draw her away from me and Leanne, then went to fight her; Leanne woke up and followed them, saw the battle, but then got separated; she must've been searching for me when she got attacked by Vika; Zelgius and Kita must've wounded Medha, but they couldn't get back to me—
Whoa. Somehow, that actually makes sense. He chuckled quietly.
….But that doesn't change the fact of...
How can he love me, when he knows we'll have to kill each other?
It didn't take him long to figure that one out;
Well...I know that, but...I love him too. I do.I do love him...
Enough to save his life, and kill him later? Or not enough to let him die peacefully in his sleep, and go on without me?
"...Ike?"
He started, turning at the sound of a girl's weak voice. "Kita!"
"...I know what you're thinking." she said softly. She was sitting up, and stared straight into his eyes; it felt as if she were looking into his heart. "I know that...he would try to stop you...but you..."
"Kita, you shouldn't...you should rest..."
"...Heal...him." she said firmly. "I was dead...from the beginning. I don't...need life anymore. Give him...another chance at it. It's the least he deserves..."
Her voice trailed off, and Ike realized she'd fallen back asleep.
It was much later. Neither of the Branded had woken; both were close to death already. Ike held the syringe with the antidote in his hands and worried over his dilemma.
Should he save Zelgius' life, the life of the boy who lay broken before him, the boy he loved, as Kita had told him to, just to have to take it later to survive the Games? Or should he save Kita's life, the life of the girl willing to give her own life for her brother, the girl who... he could kill later with ease, if necessary?
From a tactical viewpoint, the answer was obvious. From an emotional one, it wasn't. Right now, Ike was ruling from his heart, and his heart was too confused to make any kind of decision.
Zelgius...? Kita...? Zelgius...? Kita...?
That was about the extent of his thoughts on the matter at this point. Everything else had been mentally debated; everything had been sorted out, more or less, in his head; it was down to names and he couldn't decide on either.
Zelgius...the boy I love...?
Kita...the girl I can...?
He studied Zelgius' face and felt his heart skip a beat when the boy whimpered in pain.
Pain? It was supposed to be...painless. He'd thought he could give the boy he loved that, at the least—a painless death.
But if Zelgius was hurting, there only seemed to be one option.
And yet...
I can't debate this forever, Ike decided. I will decide now! I will...I...
…..Oh. I see it now, he finally realized. It's exactly like Mia said. I'll choose the one I can't live without, and that one is...
With a small gasp, he fell to his knees beside the other tribute. Forgive me, Kita, he thought. Then, he amended; Forgive me, Zelgius, and plunged the syringe in the older boy's arm. He pressed slowly down on the plunger until he was sure that all of it was in Zelgius' system, and then pulled the syringe out again and dropped it.
The clang it made on the stone floor seemed to echo forever in his ears, and Ike prayed he'd made the right choice.
GAMES HEADQUARTERS
Shinon frowned. "That stuff does work, right?"
"Of course it does, silly." Micaiah replied. "You saw it work on Mia."
"Yeah, but she's...smaller. Had smaller wounds."
"Don't worry, my dear Shinon. Zelgius will be cured..."
The beorc paused for a long moment. "...But Kita will die."
Micaiah sighed. "Well...yes."
"...Bitch."
"I didn't have a choice!" she protested.
"Hah!" Shinon laughed darkly. "I'll bet your Gamemaker buddies are probably having a laugh about this turn of events right now."
She sniffled, wiping a tear out of her eyes. "Oh, s-shut up..."
"...Now you're crying," he sighed. "You cry every time your tributes die...Geez, you're soft."
Micaiah sniffled again, burying her face in her hands.
"...Oh, come on now." Shinon said. "Stop crying. I didn't mean it."
"I-it wasn't my fault!" she whimpered. "I didn't w-want to let her d-die like that...I...I d-didn't...!"
Shinon hugged her. "I know, I know..." he said comfortingly.
"I-I just c-couldn't d-do anything e-else! I-I'm s-supposed to help them! B-but I...I f-failed her, I failed him...!"
"Nobody's perfect," he said quietly. "You did everything you could, and it wasn't enough. …It's not your fault, Micaiah."
She burst into tears, clinging to him, sobbing into his chest.
IKE
He sat next to Kita as the poison took her life away. She never woke, she hardly breathed...and the only sign of her passing was the cannon that sounded outside when her heart finally stopped.
Ike didn't cry. He felt such a sadness that he thought his heart might snap, for abandoning her life for her brother's, but he still found no tears to shed in her name.
So when the cannon came, he carried her outside, far away from the cave, into the woods. He knew he was supposed to just leave her there, untouched, so the Gamemakers' hovercraft could come and retrieve her body. But then, Zelgius' words from the rooftop echoed in his ears;
"I wish I could think of a way to show the Capitol that they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games."
And he decided to have a little rebellion of his own.
There were wildflowers in the forest around. White, violet, dark blue and red—perhaps weeds of some sort, but they would serve his purpose. He picked as many as he could, then returned to Kita's still body.
Slowly, one stem at a time, he decorated her in the flowers. Covered the ugly wounds, wreathing her face, weaving bright colors into her hair. When he stepped away, it looked almost as though she could simply be asleep.
He whistled a few notes, the notes of the galdrar Leanne had taught him, what seemed like a lifetime ago. A few moments later, the unseen Irotonimagem around him took up the melody, and the forest and mountains echoed with a song of farewell.
"Goodbye, Kita." he whispered. "I'm so sorry."
Then he returned to the cave, to let the Capitol hovercraft come and collect her body.
And only when he was back inside, with Zelgius sleeping peacefully and the poison already gone, did Ike finally snap. A few tears trickled from his eyes, tears he did his best to stop, but he could not—and after a few minutes, he didn't even bother trying, and let himself cry over the loss of the selfless girl that he'd condemned to death when he saved her brother's life.
Just as she'd wanted it.
And there it is, the pairing you've all been waiting for! XD
Heh, not really...Apologies to those of you who weren't expecting the yaoi (Cormag Ravenstaff called me, I spaced on putting the warning in the description), but well, this is meh favorite pairing (as those of you who looked at my profile probably know already) so anyone who knew me probably saw this coming a mile away...
(Don't kill me, yaoi haters ^^;)
Hope you enjoyed, reviews are always appreciated, and peace out~
~DarkieDucessa