Note: Ok SO! This is the last official chapter. It's jus kind of a wrap up. There will be an epilogue to follow shortly. It has been a blast writing this, and I cried when I finished this chapter. Thank you so much for you support, I couldn't have done it without you cheering me on. It has been an honor to write for you, and I hope you really enjoyed the story. Leave me your final reviews, and check back for the epilogue!

I was so exhausted at first that I didn't even dream. I didn't remember fainting. The last thing I recall seeing is the back of President Coin's head. After I pulled the trigger on my rifle, everything was just kind of a blur. I didn't feel happy or triumphant. I didn't feel glorious. I felt relieved. I dropped the rifle to the ground by my side, and after that, everything was blank.

I felt like I was floating through some world that was halfway between reality and delusion. I didn't see shapes or people, only colors and flashes of light. I didn't have to think about anything that had occurred in the last two years. I didn't have to remember the pain and suffering I had gone through. I just relaxed and floated on, dreaming of nothing. Thinking of nothing.

But the peace didn't last. Eventually, the nightmares started. I replayed the last two years over in my mind. It was like my brain had taken a video of it, and had waited until now to show it to me. It started with the games, then went on to the Victory Tour, then the Quell, then my time in thirteen. In between each scene, I would go back to floating and flashing colors. It showed me all of our missions in excruciating detail, and I was forced to relieve Craig's death. I saw myself kneeling over her body, her head in my lap. I heard myself screaming, then I fainted. The picture materialized in front of me, and I was floating again. It was a terrible, surreal experience, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't wake up. I was too tired. I needed the sleep.

The next nightmare was the worst. It was also the most detailed. It started with me walking into the training center and watching Sydney fight Gale. It flashed to us getting ready to go into the combat simulator. I watched her smile and laugh, promising to watch my back. I saw myself judging her. I saw myself wasting so much time I could have spent getting to know her. I saw her repeated attempts to make friends with me. She would ask me questions about my life and try to make small talk with me, but I repeatedly shut her down.

Re-watching it made me feel terrible. It was more than just wasting time. I realized how awful I had been to her. Haymitch was right. I had no place judging her. I was being selfish and cruel, and I hated it. I wanted the nightmare to end, but it wouldn't. It flashed forward to woods. We hugged, and started to move back to thirteen. The soldiers were behind us. I wanted to scream at us to run, but I couldn't. The scene faded out, and I was waking up in prison. I was kneeling over Sydney's lifeless form, trying everything I could to heal her wounds.

Next, she was telling me the story of her father. She was announcing her hatred for Coin, and I found myself telling her my life story. This was worse than the cruelness, because this is what it would have been like in thirteen if she hadn't died. We would have been friends. She would have been in my wedding, as long as she didn't have to wear yellow. I laughed at the memory. I could see her lips moving, and I watched myself laughing at her story. I missed her more than anything. I didn't want to believe that she was dead. She couldn't be gone forever.

I relived the entirety of the games. I watched her stand up to the careers when they tried to kill Prim. She took care of my little sister like she was her own, and I could feel the gratitude welling up in my chest. I saw her kneel over Lexie's body, and watched the determination in her eyes as she shot Alexei. This is the girl I wanted to remember. I didn't want to think about her death, I wanted to remember what she was like when she was fighting back.

I knew I couldn't escape it. It was coming. Prim killed Emanuel, and I watched the fire sweep around them. Then, Sydney drove the knife into her stomach. I thought it was over, but it wasn't. It was like the tape in my head had skipped, and it replayed that scene over and over again. I watched her tell Prim to turn around, heard myself screaming at her to stop. I was even next to her at one point, trying to grab her hands and pull the knife out of them, but I couldn't touch her. My hands just went right through hers. So I watched her stab herself, over and over again. She was dead. She was never coming back. I would never see that sarcastic smirk cross her lips or hear that voice that was wise beyond its years. Sydney was gone forever.

I fell to the ground as I watched her die for the hundredth time. I could feel the hot wind blowing around my face, but all of a sudden, the fire went out. The world around us turned into a murky grey mist. I looked at Prim, and she slowly disappeared into the fog, her mouth still moving in a hopeless cry for Sydney's life. Then, it was just me and Sydney. She stared at me, eyes watering. "Katniss. Why didn't you help me?" She asked.

"I couldn't…I'm sorry…. I wanted to, but there was nothing I could do. I wanted to save you." I saw her shake her head, and she slowly began to fade away. "Don't leave Sydney. Don't make it start over again. I can't watch it again. Please, just come back."

"I forgive you." She said, her green eyes shining in the mist. I just stared into them, and they were the last thing to disappear. I tried to blink my tears away, and when I opened my eyes, she was gone. I thought I would float again, but I felt different. I felt like I was rising, like something was lifting me upwards, through the sky and out of the arena. I came back into my body, and finally, I was awake.

I didn't dare open my eyes. Everything I had done rushed back to me, and my heart filled with fear. I had killed President Coin. I had shot her in the back of the head. I would probably be executed. I thought about Peeta. I didn't want to leave him, and I knew he couldn't handle it. He would go insane without me. Why had I been so selfish? Why hadn't I just thought before I acted for once? Sure I wanted her dead, but now I was going to pay the price. I should have just waited until we were back in thirteen. I should have staged a political rebellion, instead of assassinating her.

The room around me was silent. There was probably a guard outside the door, making sure I didn't escape. I wouldn't do that. The only person in the world who I cared about or wanted was in thirteen, so running away would do nothing. I still didn't open my eyes, but I could feel the sunlight burning against my eyelids. There shouldn't have been sunlight. Thirteen was underground. So we were in some other district. I exhaled slowly. It was time to open my eyes. It was time to face what I had done and the losses I had suffered. I had to be strong.

My eyelids fluttered open, and the room came into focus. The natural light was bright, but I could see a shadowy figure leaning against the wall. I blinked a few times, trying to clear my head. My eyes adjusted to the light, and I squinted across the room. The figure turned towards me, and I could hear the smile that spread across her lips, "Have a nice sleep princess?" The voice was too familiar. I had heard that sentence before. Five weeks ago, in a cell deep below some Capitol prison.

I closed my eyes tightly and tried to come back to reality. I was still dreaming. I had to be. There was no way Sydney Harper was standing in my room. She had died. I had watched her die. I opened my eyes again, and she was still standing there, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, a smile playing at her lips. "Well, don't look TOO happy to see me alive. I wouldn't want you to get all worked up or anything." I stuttered, trying to speak, but I couldn't. I tried to jump up, to pull myself off of the bed and run over to her. I jerked my arm forward, but something restrained me. I looked down, and noticed I was handcuffed to the bed. Right. I was an assassin.

"Yeah…" She said, making her way towards me slowly. Her face came into focus and I saw that she still had several large bruises over her eyes from where Emanuel had punched her, and a large white bandage covered her head. So it was real. Dream Sydney hadn't been covered in bandages like that. It also meant that I hadn't been asleep for too long. "You did a very bad thing. From what I've heard, killing the President is probably a crime."

She sat down slowly in the chair next to me, grimacing. I saw that she was wearing a hospital gown and slippers, and there was a band around her wrist. She crossed her legs carefully and leaned back into the chair, folding her hands in her lap. It was so casual, so normal, but she shouldn't even be breathing right now. "You're dead." I finally got out. "You should be dead."

"Ahhh. Yes. I should be, and yet…here I am." She spread her hands out and crossed them behind her head. "I guess I have your sister to thank for that."

"What do you mean?" I didn't understand. Prim had just been standing there. When Sydney fell to the ground and passed out, Prim had just stood there and watched, blocked by the flames.

"Apparently, she jumped through the middle of the fire to try and save me. She covered herself in the blanket that was left in her backpack and just ran through the flames. I don't know what she did, but somehow she kept me breathing until the thirteen hovercraft got there. That's the real miracle. Thank god they invaded when they did." She shook her head and her face got serious. "I was dead. For a few minutes. I don't really remember it. I just know one minute I was in so much pain from the knife, then the next, it was gone. Everything was just black, there were no feelings, only peace. It was kind of nice."

She turned her head and looked out the window, her eyes were far away. I knew she was back in the arena. She was remembering. That would never go away. There were some moments where I would be doing something totally normal, and all of a sudden I would get these flashbacks. It was like I wasn't standing in the kitchen or lying on the couch anymore. I was back there, fighting for my life and watching people die around me.

"The nightmares are the worst part." She said without turning her head. "I relive the deaths every day. I watch myself kill Zane and Alexei and Emanuel. I stand over Lexie's body and just cry. I wake up in the middle of the night sweating and screaming, and it feels like I'm still trapped in there. Part of me will always remain in that arena."

"It doesn't stop." I said softly. "The nightmares get better eventually, but that panicked feeling will never go away. You're constantly on alert. You always feel like you have to watch your back. You can suppress it, but it will always be there." She looked back at me with sad eyes. Eyes that had seen too much. Sydney had changed. She wasn't the same person I had left in the prison. She had been to hell and back, and part of her was still there. "But, you're alive. That's a miracle in itself. I never thought I would see you again. I didn't think that—"

"Who would you have chosen?" She interrupted me. Her eyes bore into my skull, and the question caught me off guard. I never did make a decision, but in the back of my mind I knew it was Prim. My gaze dropped to the sheets in front of me. It wasn't that I had wanted Sydney to die, but Prim was my sister. She would always be my sister, but I felt the same way about Sydney as I did about Prim. There was no way I could choose between them. I didn't look back up at her. She seemed to take my silence as a clear choice.

"I understand." I heard the chair scrape on the ground and my head snapped up. "Trust me. I mean, I picked her too after all." She let out a small laugh. It was full of pain. She made her way to the door, a hurt look on her face.

"Don't leave!" I shouted after her. "Please…I thought you were dead Don't leave me now."

"I'm not even supposed to be here." She answered, pulling open the door. "No one is. You're in solitary confinement, but hell, when have I ever followed the rules?" She turned her back on me and stepped out the door. She turned back. "Goodbye Katniss." She said quietly, and then she was gone.

I looked at the door. I waited for her to come back. Waited for her to run back in and give me a hug. Waited for her to be happy she was still alive, but the door stayed closed. Somehow I always managed to do this. I always pushed people away even if I was trying so hard to keep them close to me. It didn't matter that Sydney had made it out of the arena alive, she didn't want to be my friend. It sounded pathetic, but it was true. The only real friend I had ever had, and I had let her down. I would have let her die. What kind of person was I?

I didn't deserve to survive. Not while all of these people were dying around me. I wasn't worthy of their sacrifice. They were all so good, and what was I? A self-centered, self-righteous girl who would do anything necessary to get her way. I would have let my best friend die at the hands of the Capitol. I would have sat back and done nothing. I wouldn't have tried to find a loophole or to fight Snow off. All of this time I talked about how much of a rebel I was, but didn't I just play along with their games?

I had done it for Prim. That's what I told myself. But I could have gotten her out of there. Sydney would have. Peeta would have. I didn't deserve Peeta. He was so much better than me. He did everything he could to try and save me, and I just sat there and did nothing. I didn't try to break out or lead the prison in a rebellion. I wasn't strong enough. He was better off without me. They all were. I was poison to their lives. A thorn in their side. I had suddenly lost the will to survive.

I knew what would happen when I got out of here. It would be easy. I wanted it to be painless, but I was going to be dead, so did it really matter? I knew I was a disappointment. I was just giving up after all they had done for me, but I didn't care anymore. They would mourn me for a while, but they would move on. I hoped Peeta would find someone who was good enough for him. I loved him more than life itself, but I couldn't bring myself to hurt him anymore.

I laid in bed, ready to be executed. I knew that's what would happen, and I wasn't going to fight them. I didn't want to live anyway. I rested every once in a while, but sleep didn't come easily. I never shed a tear. It wasn't sad really. The world would work better without me in it. I should be happy that so many lives would be improved by this.

Suddenly, the door swung open. Peeta stepped into the room and saw I was awake. A smile grew on his lips and he walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me, and held me close to him. I breathed in the unique smell of bread and spices that only belonged to Peeta, and I felt so good. Being close to him was the only thing that mattered to me. I tried to hug him back, but I remembered that my wrist was still cuffed to the bed. He looked at me, confused, then saw the cuffs and laughed. He turned to a Peacekeeper and pointed.

They came over and unlatched me from the bedrails. I rubbed my wrists and exhaled, finally relieved of the restraints. I looked at Peeta and tried my best to muster up a fake smile. I assumed the guard was here to march me off to my death, but he stepped back from the bed and walked out of the room. I looked after him, and my confusion must have been clear. "You're free Kat." Peeta said, hugging me again. "They let you go."

He kissed me on the neck, then on the cheek, then laughed as he kissed my lips. I was too stunned to respond. I was free? I had assassinated the President, and now I was free? "How?" I muttered against his lips.

"President Harper of course." Peeta said, rolling his eyes. I looked at him, shocked. "You must be confused. I'll start after the hovercraft. We made an emergency landing in district eight. Coin had to be rushed to the hospital, although she was clearly already dead. The craft from the arena met us there because thirteen's best doctors were on it. That's when Sydney got off and they rushed her to the emergency room.

So they carried you to this room I guess. They wouldn't tell me where they had taken you, so I pulled a Gale and went crazy on them, and they decided to sedate me. They woke me up a day later, and Sydney was alive again. We had a command meeting. Everyone was shouting and arguing, and no one really knew what to do with you. The generals wanted to execute you, but then Haymitch brought them the evidence."

"The evidence?" I asked him incredulously. What evidence was there?

"Beetee taped everything that Coin did to us. Your encounter in the hospital room, her moment in the hallway with Gale where she said she was going to kill us, even her encounter with Sydney in the hallways at the ball. They got everything on tape, and people realized how awful she was to you. Haymitch made a great case, claiming that on top of exhaustion and post-traumatic stress, she was destroying your life, and you were being a hero for the greater good. They were all convinced, but only the President can pardon criminals.

That brought us to our next problem. There was no line of succession. There were the generals, but they didn't have a desire or a claim for leadership. Coin had never appointed a vice president, so no one knew who was supposed to lead the new government of Panem. It was mass confusion. We had just won the war, but now we didn't have a leader or a voice. Jacobs brought up Sydney. She was still on life support, but Prim's actions had saved her life, and they could wake her up at any time. Jacobs pointed out that she was the daughter of the true father of the rebellion. If there was no line of succession, he said they should treat it like an inheritance, at least until someone came up with a better plan."

"So Sydney is President of Panem?" I laughed. The world had gone mad. There was no way this was going to last. Sydney was a good fighter and teammate, but she was no president.

"She WAS President. It was just a placeholder. We didn't want the generals distracted trying to fight over who was going to lead Panem, so we put a face to the President's position and went back to figuring out what to do now that the war was over. Sometime later, they brought Sydney back to consciousness, and we waited for her to be ready to make a few decisions, but when the guards went to collect her, she wasn't there. About an hour later, she turned up in the command room and demanded your release. The generals began to argue that you should at least have a trial, but she asserted her authority. I don't think they expected to deal with that when they gave her the fake title, but she used it to her advantage. I don't know what happened, but she was determined for you to get off scotch free."

"She came here." I said quietly. "To the room. She must've convinced some sympathetic nurse to bring her here. We talked. I thought I upset her, but I guess not." She had saved me.

"You definitely didn't. So anyway, they all agreed for you to be released unconditionally, and Sydney immediately handed off her power." So the façade was over, but who was our wondrous leader now?

"So whose President?" I asked Peeta, nervously playing with his hands. I hoped it was someone good. Someone honest. We needed that after Coin and Snow.

Peeta laughed. "Its…Haymitch."

I bolted upright and squeezed Peeta's hand so hard he grimaced in pain. "Haymitch? What are they thinking?" Haymitch wasn't a President. Sure he had kept me alive and saved me numerous times, but he was a drunkard. He wasn't sane enough to lead a country.

"Don't worry," He said, running his hand through my hair and laughing lightly at my surprise. "This is only temporary to, but you have to admit Haymitch will do a little better than Sydney. There are going to be elections within the year, and a new President will be instated. We could do worse, Kat."

I leaned back in the bed and exhaled. This was too much for me to handle. Haymitch was President, Sydney had saved my life when I thought she hated me, I was a hero for assassinating Coin. "Shouldn't you be happy?" Peeta asked. He was right. Everything was backwards, but it had turned out just like I wanted it to, so why did I feel so wrong? I thought about how ready I was to die. The feeling lingered, and my chest felt heavy.

"What's wrong Katniss?" He whispered, pressing his forehead up against mine. I wanted to shut him out, but I couldn't. Not Peeta. I couldn't keep this from him.

"I was just…I was so ready to die Peeta. I wanted to even." I couldn't look into his eyes. I knew the pain I would find there. I didn't want to hurt him. "You'd all be better off without me. You know its true. I'm like an infection. I just hurt everyone around me. No one is safe as long as I'm their friend. I'm a selfish, rash, thoughtless person who only puts everyone in danger. I don't deserve this Peeta. I don't deserve you."

He was quiet for a while. "Don't…don't ever say that. Don't you understand that I can't live without you?" He stood up from the bed and paced around the room. "Can't you see that I need you? You are my everything Katniss. You are my heart and my soul and the only thing that keeps me going. You're the reason that I get up every day. You're the reason that I keep fighting."

I sat up carefully, my toes dangling over the edge of the bed. "Peeta… I—"

"You can't just give up Katniss." He looked like he was about to cry, and I went to him. I felt like an idiot. How could I ever even imagine that I would leave Peeta? He was facing away from me, staring out the window. I wrapped my arms around his stomach and leaned my head against his back. I kissed the nape of his neck. I didn't want to die, not if Peeta wasn't going to be there. I didn't want to be anywhere he wasn't.

"I'm sorry." I whispered in between kisses. I felt him try to silence a sob, but his chest shook. I turned him towards me. "Peeta, look at me. I'm not going anywhere. Ok? I'm not going to die, I promise. I can't be where you aren't. I know that. I've always known that. I thought I was going to be executed. I thought that you would do better without me."

"I could never do better without you. I am who I am because of you Katniss. You make me strong. You hold me up when I can't do it myself. You support me in whatever I do. You make the nightmares go away and the dreams come back to me. Its ok that I don't have anyone else because you're all I need. You're stubborn and crazy and you think before you act and you constantly put yourself in life and death situations. You drive me crazy when we argue, but it just makes me want to push you up against a wall and rip your clothes off. That's what love is. It's arguments and its fights and its longing and its wanting and its missing, but its also that feeling like you're finally whole. Like you've been missing something for your entire life, but all of a sudden when that one person is around, you feel complete. Everything I do, I do for you, Katniss Everdeen. You are a part of me, and there is no possible way that I would ever even think of doing better without you."

He leaned in and locked his lips with mine. This kiss was full of all of those things, and I knew he was right. We belonged together. One of us couldn't survive without the other. He turned me around and pushed me against the wall. His hips thrusted into mine and I grabbed his hair and twisted it in my hands. Our lips crashed together and I forgot about everything else. There was no pain and no hurt. There was only Peeta and me. The only feeling I had was want for him. I didn't need anything else.

I reached my hands underneath his shirt and pulled it up over his head. It had been so long since I had been this close to him. I had been suppressing the aching need I felt for him in the pit of my stomach, and it was all coming out now. I kissed his neck and his collarbone, my hands pushing against his chest. I felt his chest vibrate as he let out a deep moan. His hands went to my pants and he unzipped them feverishly. "Peeta." I ripped my lips away from his chest and my head rested against the wall behind me as he slipped his finger inside of me. My eyelids fluttered as I moved my hips against his hand. I looked up at him, and he grinned back at me slyly. The coy look on his face only made me want him more, and I groaned and pushed him off of me.

I lifted my own shirt off over my head and pulled him over to the bed. I pushed him down onto it and climbed on top of him, grinding my body against his. I reached my hands down and ripped his pants open. I could feel him smiling at my eagerness and I pulled away from him, grinning. I looked into his deep blue eyes, and just stopped. A few days ago, I didn't think moments like this would ever come again. I wanted to savor it. I wanted to stay here forever and gaze into his eyes.

"Katniss?" He asked breathily. His cheeks were flushed and he stared intensely at me. "Do you not want to do this?"

I rested my nose against his. "There is nothing that I want more than this." I whispered, forcing our lips back together. He laughed against my kiss, and rolled me over. He put his hands on my hips and thrust into me. I had forgotten how good it felt, and I cried out in pleasure. Our hips rose and fell together, our bodies moving as one. I felt so connected to him. There was no one else in the world. Only me and Peeta Mellark, and that was the only thing that mattered.

When we finished, Peeta and I just laid under the covers in the bed, refusing to get up. It was finally over. What had started two years ago in the seventy-fourth hunger games had finally finished. There was no more war, no more Snow, no more games. I was finally free, and I had no idea what I was going to do. I traced circles into Peeta's chest and sighed happily. "What?" He said, kissing the top of my head.

"It's a good feeling." I laughed. "Having nothing to do. For the first time in a very long time, there is no weight on my chest, no evil hovering over my head. I can finally get on with my life."

"Yes, yes you can." He said. "Will you still marry me, Katniss Everdeen?" His voice was so full of love and hope, I smiled against his chest.

"I would love to. Only this time, let's hope I make it to the second day of our engagement." He wrapped his arms around me and chuckled. He pulled something out of his pocket. It was the ring he had given me all those weeks ago.

"I kept it with me." He said. "It was like a little piece of you that I always got to hold. It reminded me to never give up, even when it seemed hopeless." He slipped the ring on my finger. "Perfect. Now everything it right again." He kissed me again and looked lovingly into my eyes. Everything was right. No, not everything. Suddenly, I stopped smiling. There was still something I had to do. Someone I had to see.

"I have to go." I said solemnly. I looked into his eyes, and they were full of worry. "I'll be back, I promise. There's just…someone I have to talk to. I have unfinished business that I have to resolve." I kissed him on the lips and climbed out of bed, throwing my clothes back on. He laid back in the bed and sighed, grinning again.

"You'll fix it." He said as I kissed his forehead. "Everything will be ok." I nodded. Of course he knew what I was going to do. Peeta always knew what was running through my mind. I smiled at him one more time and walked out the door.

I walked through the halls in the hospital, trying to find my way to the exit. I decided that I wanted to check in on Prim because I hadn't seen her since she got out of the games. I needed to make sure she was ok. I asked the nurse where she would be, and she pointed me down a long hallway and told me a room number to look for. As I passed through the double doors, I noticed the label to the side: burn wing. Sydney had said that Prim walked through fire, but I didn't realize she had been hurt. I quickened my pace until I found the room the nurse had told me about. I stopped outside the door, watching Prim sit upright on a bed and be examined by a nurse. Her back was to me, but I saw that she had a white bandage covering her head. How badly was she injured?

"Ok Primrose." The nurse said, pulling the needle away from Prim's arm and throwing it into the biohazard trash behind her. "You're free to go for now, but once you get back to district thirteen you'll have to stay in the hospital for a while." I walked into the room as the nurse gingerly picked Prim up and set her into a wheelchair that was sitting next to the bed. Prim rolled herself around and towards the door. I had to stop myself from gasping or bursting into tears.

"Hey Katniss!" She said in a cheerful voice. It was Prim's voice, that was certain, but this wasn't Prim. The skin on her face was blackened and cracked. Her left eye was completely covered by the bandage around her head. Similar wrappings covered her arms and legs, and to my horror, I saw that her left foot had been amputated. I didn't understand. She looked at me quizzically through her one eye, and I forced myself to smile at her. I couldn't let her see how bad it was. I had to be strong for her.

"Hey little duck." I choked out. The nurse brushed past me and walked out of the room. Prim just sat there, smiling at me through her cracked lips like she didn't have a care in the world, while I felt like falling to the floor and sobbing. Just then, there was a slight tap on the doorway. I turned around and saw Peeta standing there, sorrow in his eyes.

"The hovercraft are about to leave." He said softly. "We have to be on one so we can get back to thirteen." The plan had been for me to go find Sydney and make up with her, but I didn't even want to look at her after seeing Prim. Of course it wasn't her fault, but Prim had jumped through those flames to save her. My little sister was a going to be crippled for the rest of her life because of Sydney.

"Well I guess we should go then." Prim answered. She pressed a knob on the handle of her chair and glided past us out the door. I heard her whimper in pain as she ran over a bump near the doorway, but she reassured us she was fine, and just kept going to the exit of the hospital. I couldn't move. I stood in the room, watching her roll down the hallway. How could I let this happen? Wasn't I supposed to be protecting her? I dropped my head to the floor and let out a gasping sob. Peeta came over to me and wrapped his arms around me protectively.

"What happened to her?" I asked him in between sobs.

He sighed and rubbed my back. "She saw Sydney dying, and I guess she panicked. She covered herself in a blanket from the pack and jumped across the flames. Apparently there was an adrenaline needle in there as well, so she shoved it in Sydney's arm to keep her alive. It was quick thinking really, and it would have been fine if her clothes hadn't caught on fire. The blanket had protected her, but while she was trying to save Sydney's life, she didn't realize that her pant leg had caught on fire. She tried to put it out, but it consumed her. By the time the medics from the hovercraft got there, they were barely able to keep her alive. They brought her here and did some skin grafting, but her foot became infected and they had to amputate it. I'm so sorry Kat." He pulled me closer to him and I buried my face in his chest.

"How could I let this happen Peeta? She'll never have a moment of peace. She'll never be a normal child again."

"You can't blame yourself. Prim made a decision. She wanted to save Sydney's life, and she did, but she paid the price. She was brave Katniss. She's a hero, and in case you couldn't tell, she's taking it all in stride. The nurses all love her, and they say that with an attitude like hers there's no knowing how much she could recover."

I sighed and didn't answer him. I knew he was trying to be optimistic, but I didn't feel like pretending Prim would be ok. She would never be ok, and it was naïve to have hope. "Did you find Sydney?" Peeta asked.

"No." I snapped at him. "And I don't want to. I can't look at her Peeta. I know that's not right of me, but I just can't." I stepped back from him and wiped my eyes. "We should go." He nodded and put an arm around my shoulders. We walked together to the hovercrafts. People patted me on the back and told me how brave I was, but I just nodded politely or ignored them. I wasn't brave. I hadn't jumped through fire. Prim was the real hero, but none of them would acknowledge that. No matter what I did, people would always love me, even when I hated myself so much.

Haymitch waved us over to the first hovercraft, and when we stepped on Prim was already there, talking to Finnick. "They've become friends." Peeta said with a small chuckle. "Finnick says Prim is his hero." I stared at them for a while, and Finnick noticed and waved at me. I didn't wave back, I just kept looking at Prim. Fate was so cruel, to punish her for saving a life. It was funny how that worked. It was the innocent ones that always got hurt. Eventually, our last passengers got on. Gale walked in first, and gave Peeta and I a curt nod, then Sydney stepped on behind him, clutching his hand for support. My eyes narrowed as she scanned the room and people welcomed her. Her gaze landed on me for a moment, and she looked confused at the angry look that must have been written all over my face, then she looked past me, and I saw the shock slowly enter her features.

She let go of Gale's hand and walked over to Prim slowly. She knelt down in front of my sister, and looked into her good eye. Prim smiled at her, and Sydney turned around to look at me. Her eyes dropped to the floor, and she clutched her chest with her other hand. "Hey, Syd." Prim said, pulling her attention back. Sydney didn't say anything, she just shook her head. "Guess my fool proof plan almost killed us both." She tried to joke, but Sydney just kept shaking her head back and forth.

"I'm so sorry, Prim. I didn't know…I would've come and seen you. They didn't tell me how badly you were hurt." Prim reached out and touched Sydney, wincing slightly at the pain it brought her. Sydney's head snapped up.

"It's ok. We're partners remember? It was worth it to save you." Sydney nodded and stood up.

"No it wasn't." She whispered as she walked away, but I think I was the only one who heard her. She went and stood by Gale, unable to take her eyes off Prim.

"Well, let's take her up." Haymitch said, and the hovercraft lifted off the ground under our feet, carrying us back to district thirteen.

I moved back into the compartment with my mother to take care of Prim. Peeta came and stayed with us too, and it was nice to not have to stay with the squad. I still hadn't spoken to Sydney. I knew I had things to apologize for, but I no longer felt the need to say them. I didn't want to be around her, because I got so angry when I thought about Prim. She barely ever slept through the night. After the first week back at thirteen, she moved back in with us, and every night she would wake up screaming in pain. My mother soothed her with salves while I held her hand and sang to her, but it was barely a relief. It got a little bit better over the time, and Prim never gave up, but the doctors said she would live with this pain for the rest of her life.

Peeta and I went back to training after a while when we realized there was nothing we could do for Prim. It was just like it had always been with Sydney and I in training, but this time it was hard. It was hard to just ignore her and pretend like we had never been friends, because we had been. She tried to talk to me a few times, but I walked away from her and blew her off, and she stopped trying.

One night, I was helping Prim take a bath in salve and cool water when the subject of my former friend came up. "I saw Sydney today." Prim said eagerly. "She was eating at the same time I was. I went over and sat with her. She's getting better about being able to be around me. I know she feels guilty, but I reassure her."

"Why?" I asked, dropping my hands to the floor. "Why do you do that? Just don't talk to her Prim. She made you like this. She did this to you." Prim frowned and moved away from me.

"No she didn't Katniss." She snapped. Prim was angry. She never got angry with me. "She didn't do anything. She didn't put me in that arena or force me to fight. That was the Capitol. She didn't put up a wall of flames and try to kill me, that was Snow. All Sydney did was keep me alive for that arena and shove a knife into her stomach to try and keep me alive. It was my decision to jump through the flames. I didn't want to see her die, not for me. I don't blame her Katniss. So why do you?"

I stared at the tiles on the bathroom floor. I knew Prim was right. Somehow she always was. "I…I don't know. I just need to blame someone."

"Then blame Snow. Blame Coin. Blame the Capitol, but don't blame Sydney." She reached her hand out and touched my shoulder. "Sydney talks about you a lot. She tells me about your time in prison, and it seems like you guys were really good friends, otherwise why would she have tried to sacrifice her life for me? She misses you, and I know somewhere deep down you miss her too." I sighed and nodded. Right again. It was hard to remember that Prim was only fourteen. "Go." She whispered, taking the sponge from me. "I think I can finish bathing myself."

I laughed and planted a light kiss on her forehead. I walked out of the bathroom and down the hallway, running into Peeta. He looked at me curiously. "Where are you going at this time of night?" He asked as I grabbed my jacket off the hook and slipped on my boots.

"I'm fixing it." I answered, kissing his cheek. It's what I was supposed to do back in district eight. I went to the apartment and said hi to the squad, hoping that she would be there, but Gale told me she had left a while ago, saying she needed to think. I clenched my jaw. I needed to talk to her now, I couldn't wait for her to come back, but where was she? Thinking. Then I knew. I thanked Gale and went out into the hallway, making my way up to the surface.

I found her standing on the edge of the forest, gazing off into the distance. She didn't turn around when I approached, and I realized that I didn't have a speech prepared or anything. I didn't really know what to say to her. We just stood there in silence until finally, she spoke up.

"I look out at that forest and think about what would have happened if I just stopped when you called my name. If I hadn't run away, we would have stayed in thirteen. We never would have been captured, and the games probably never would have happened. Twenty-four lives could have been saved. It's my fault they're dead Katniss." I looked at her silhouette and a single tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm sorry Katniss. I'm sorry for what happened to Prim. I know it's my fault. She's crippled because of me, and I'll never forgive myself for it. I told her to turn around and not look back at me, but she didn't listen. I owe her my life, but I wish she had just let me die so she would be ok."

I sighed and looked away, hoping to find my words somewhere in the trees. "I don't blame you, and I was wrong to be mad at you. You couldn't have done anything, and it wasn't your decision to send Prim into that fire, it was hers. You shouldn't feel guilty, and it was cruel of me to hold that over you. After all that we went through, I should be better to you. If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't be standing here."

She nodded her head and glanced down at her arm. I noticed she was looking down at the numbers that were tattooed over her forearm. I looked down at my own, remembering everything that had happened to us in that prison. "I told them not to take it off." She said slowly. "I don't want to forget what happened to me. I told them to leave the scar there too, from the knife wound. I want to remember every day in the prison, and I want to remember every moment in the games."

"Trust me when I say that you will never forget the games. They hang over you like some dark cloud that's just wanting to block out a good thought. As soon as you think you're over it, you have another nightmare, but you're not alone." I turned towards her and put my arms on her shoulders. "I know that you think I would have chosen Prim over you in that final moment, but in reality, I couldn't have chosen. That was an impossible decision for me to make."

She scoffed at me and looked at the ground. "Come on Katniss, she's you sister."

"But so are you." Her head slowly lifted up and she stared at me. "You're as much my sister as Prim is. What we went through in that prison, I'll never forget it either. You helped me survive. You're someone I can talk to and someone I can trust with anything. I know we've been through a lot, but we can recover together. If you've got my back, I've got yours, remember?

I saw her eyes well up with tears, she threw her arms around me and pulled me in close to her. I hugged her back, and she laughed through the tears. She pulled away from me and I looked at her, slightly confused by the change of mood. "I don't understand." I laughed nervously.

"No one has ever called me that before." She said. "Family. Katniss, I've never been anyone's sister, and I'm honored that you think of me like that. I was someone's daughter once, but that was a long time ago."

"Sydney." I said, putting my hands on her shoulders. "You're still someone's daughter. I saw you in the arena. I saw how you stood up to the careers and the Capitol and how brave you were. I didn't know your father, but if he's as good of a man as you make him out to be, he would have been very proud of you." She nodded and laughed at me. I slung my arm around her shoulders.

"So..clean slate?" She asked me warily.

I looked down at the numbers written in my arm and shook my head. "No, because then you might lose all the credit you got in prison, and I could go back to hating you again." She cracked a smile and pushed me away, playfully.

"We should probably go back." I said, giggling. "They're going to think we got kidnapped again." She rolled her eyes and nodded feverishly. She started catching me up on everything her and Gale related as we walked back, and as I tread through those fields above district thirteen, the feeling of freedom returned. I felt the wind ripple through my hair, and I knew that the worst was behind me. As I looked at my best friend standing at my side, I knew that it didn't matter what I was going to do in the future. As long as I had Peeta and Sydney and Gale and my family, I could face anything. This was the beginning of the rest of my life, and I was ready to take it head on. I was ready to keep fighting, for the people I loved, for my home, but most importantly, for myself. I was Katniss Everydeen, victor, Mockingjay, girl on fire, but more importantly, I was just Katniss, fiancée, sister, friend, and fighter.