We have tested and tasted too much, lover –
Through a chink too wide there comes in no wonder.
But here in the Advent-darkened room
Where the dry black bread and the sugarless tea
Of penance will charm back the luxury
Of a child's soul, we'll return to Doom
The knowledge we stole but could not use.
Patrick Kavanagh, Advent
ssSss
After breakfast with her parents on Saturday, Hermione met Padma and Parvati at Madam Malkin's shop in Diagon Alley. She loved her bridesmaid's robes: they were a deep shade of lilac and cut in a flattering style. When Padma emerged from the dressing room in her wedding dress, both Parvati and Hermione were moved to tears. She had chosen a simple, glistening white silk gown, styled somewhere between traditional wizarding robes and an Indian sari. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful bride Hermione had ever seen.
Parvati left after the fitting to return home to tend to her infant son, and Hermione and Padma remained to leaf through the catalogues. Padma and Ginny were to be Hermione's bridesmaids, so choosing a colour that would suit both of them was difficult. After looking through swatches of cloth for almost an hour, she finally settled on a bronze satin.
Hermione had finally told her parents about the wedding date that morning and, much to her dismay, her mother had burst into tears. She'd tried to reassure her that all wizarding marriages happened quickly these days, but her mother was distraught.
After settling on the details of the bridesmaids' gowns, Hermione bade Padma farewell and left Diagon Alley to meet her still red-eyed mother. After a pleasant lunch in Harrod's, they prepared to start the search for a wedding dress. With only six days to go until she wed, Hermione doubted she'd find anything in the Muggle shops that would fit. Many of the boutiques insisted on dresses being ordered sixteen weeks in advance.
"Why don't we have a look in the bridal gallery here before we head to Oxford Street?" Jane Granger asked her daughter.
"Here? In Harrod's?" Hermione said. "Mum, you know that any dress in here will be outrageously expensive!"
Her mother shrugged. "It won't hurt to have a peep; at least we'll get some idea of what styles are in at the moment."
When they reached the gallery, Hermione stopped at the first mannequin they came to. The dress on the stand had immediately caught her eye. Her mother also stopped to admire the beautiful gown.
"That is a stunning dress," Jane announced, running her fingers through the material.
Hermione was surprised her mother liked the gown. It was – well, there was no other word for it – sexy. The dress was a deep ivory that would go well with both her brown hair and eyes and the bronze material she had chosen for her bridesmaids. The neckline was gently scooped and wouldn't reveal too much; the material was of a heavy, shimmering satin that fell to the ground and pooled elegantly at the back in a short train. It was figure-hugging, but not tight, and Hermione knew it would flatter her shape to perfection. The front of the dress was perfectly demure. It was the back of the dress that made it sexy, or rather, the lack of a back to the dress. The satin swooped so low at the back as to be almost indecent.
"I don't know, Mum," Hermione said, frowning. "It's beautiful, but wizards are conservative when it comes to clothes – I think the low-cut back might be too much."
"Yes, but there'll be people at your wedding who aren't wizards, and they matter, too," her mother said with a sniff. "Why not try it on, at least?"
Determined not to start a row, Hermione went to speak to the sales assistant, and once the woman had confirmed they had the dress in her size, she went into the plush fitting rooms to change. As soon as she'd slipped it over her head, she knew it was just perfect. The assistant brought her a pair of bronze sandals and a hair clasp to match, and once Hermione was looking every inch a bride, she emerged from the dressing room.
"Well? What do you think?" she asked, doing a twirl.
Her mother immediately burst into tears. The shop assistant was quickly on hand with tissues and a cup of tea: this was evidently a common reaction.
"Oh, Mum," she said, hugging her mother and feeling rather tearful herself. "Do you really like it?"
Her mother nodded. "You look so grown up. It's very elegant – very Audrey Hepburn."
Hermione returned her gaze to the full-length mirror. She didn't look as beautiful as Padma, but she certainly looked more attractive than she ever had before. She hadn't felt like this since the Yule Ball in her fourth year. She turned around and looked over her shoulder at the back of the dress; there was no denying that it was sultry in the extreme. She had to admit, she had a nice back. She smiled to think it had been hidden away all these years, undiscovered.
"My only worry is the back, Mum," she said, frowning at her reflection. "Don't you think it's a bit … provocative? Even for a Muggle wedding?"
Her mother took her glasses from her handbag. Scrutinizing the dress closely, she turned to check they wouldn't be overheard by the shop assistant and said, "Couldn't you get the woman who owns that shop in Diagon Alley to make you a cloak in the same material? One that drapes from your shoulders? That would cover the back, but it still wouldn't spoil the shape of the dress."
Hermione looked in the mirror, trying to imagine it with a cloak added. Padma was wearing a cloak that fell from her shoulders, and it didn't spoil the effect of her sari. She grinned. "Mum, you're a genius. That's exactly what I'll do."
She picked up the price tag on the dress and then dropped it as if she had been burned. "It's ridiculously expensive, Mum. I couldn't let you pay that much for a dress!"
Her mother looked at the tag and raised her eyebrows. "Hermione," she said, taking her daughter's hand, "you're my only child. When you went to Hogwarts, you became part of a world to which we would never really belong. Now, you're about to be married to a wizard, and I feel like the whole situation has been taken out of my hands. I don't care how much this dress costs; I've never seen you look so beautiful, and it's my chance to contribute something to your wedding. I want you to have this dress."
Hermione nodded, overwhelmed. "Thanks, Mum," she murmured, tears starting.
Jane Granger laughed and wiped her eyes. "Now take it off before we get mascara all over it!"
ssSss
On Monday morning, Hermione Apparated to Belgrave House for the final week of the pre-marriage course. She could hardly believe that by the weekend, she'd be married.
When she'd arrived home from shopping with her mother on Saturday afternoon, there'd only been a few hours left until Theo was due to arrive for dinner. She'd been anxious about how he would get along with her parents, but within an hour, her fears had vanished. Theo looked like a Muggle, he acted like a Muggle, and he was well versed in the intricacies of international politics, much to her father's delight. His perfect manners had won her mother's approval, and Hermione knew her parents had slept more soundly that night for having met their future son-in-law.
Hermione had met Theo in Diagon Alley for lunch on Sunday, and they'd spent four hours poring over travel guides in Flourish and Blott's, plotting the destinations they'd include on their tour of the world. She was looking forward to their globe-trotting adventures, but as she climbed the steps to Belgrave House on Monday morning, she knew a moment of slight regret: she would be sorry to leave her friends behind. This time next week, she'd be in Kyoto with her husband, and it would be many months before she saw her friends again.
When she got to the common room, Neville had already arrived. He turned to her with a smile.
"Hermione! Where did you disappear to last week? You haven't been in class since Tuesday," Neville said.
Hermione chewed her lower lip guiltily. "I know – I hope we didn't miss anything worthwhile."
Neville smiled. "Have any of these classes been worthwhile?"
"I suppose not. You seem in much better form, Neville. I presume that means Hannah accepted your offer?"
Neville nodded. "She accepted last Wednesday. We're getting married next Monday, and three days later we'll both start at Hogwarts."
"Congratulations, Neville," Hermione said warmly, crossing the room to give him a hug. "She's always been a lovely girl. I hope you'll both be very happy."
He hugged her back. "Thanks, Hermione. I hope you and Theo will be happy, too."
Terry Boot and Laura Wallace arrived a few minutes later, and Terry told them that Michael Corner and Pansy Parkinson had agreed to wed the previous Friday. Now that everybody was spoken for, the conversation turned to the dates and times of the various weddings.
Almost all the candidates had gathered in the common room when a barn owl appeared at the window. Dean was the first to spot it and crossed the common room to open the latch. When he'd broken the seal on the letter, he called for silence.
"This is addressed to all of us, so listen up!" he shouted.
"Dear Friends,
We're sorry we cannot be with you today, but we are otherwise engaged. When I say 'otherwise engaged' I do, of course, mean shagging one another senseless, but Susan would not approve of my saying that, so let us just refer to it as 'otherwise engaged'.
For various reasons, namely Susan's parents' refusal to acknowledge my finer points, we decided to elope and were wed on Saturday afternoon. Who needs families anyway? We are both very happy and would like to wish you all well. We're sorry that circumstances have conspired to rob you all of our company during the final week at Belgrave, although we may see some of you on Friday night, as Theo has asked me to act as his best man.
Fondest regards,
Draco and Susan Malfoy."
There was silence for a moment, and then a burst of applause and excited chatter. The first of the couples had wed, and the final week of the pre-marriage course was underway.
ssSss
Hermione was livid. Theo had promised he wouldn't miss any of the classes during their final week, but he hadn't turned up for Family Law. When she left the classroom, she found him leaning casually against the wall opposite, waiting for her.
"Hey," he said with a lazy grin.
"Theo, where the hell have you been?" she asked angrily. "You promised you wouldn't miss any classes this week."
"Oh, come on, Hermione. It's all a load of rubbish!"
"I don't care if it's all a load of rubbish – you promised that if I skipped class last Thursday, you'd attend all the classes this week!"
"I'd more important things to do," he said, taking some papers from his back pocket and presenting them to her. "Have a look at this."
She took the documents from him. They were airline tickets.
"Japan's too far away for safe Apparition, and I decided there was no point hanging around after the wedding – I booked a flight for Tokyo at midnight on Friday. We can go straight to the airport after the wedding."
Hermione clenched a fist. "That's all very well and good, but didn't you think you should have asked me first?"
"I thought you'd be happy," he said, frowning.
She sighed, suddenly more tired than angry. "Come on. We have our appointment with the marriage counsellor."
As they climbed the stairs to the marriage counsellor's office in silence, Hermione tried to fight the deep disappointment she felt. He had broken a promise so very early in their relationship. Her heart sank.
They took their seats in the counsellor's office without speaking or even looking at one another. The marriage counsellor was a jolly, rotund woman who seemed to sense there was an argument underway and did her best to put them at their ease by focusing immediately on the details of the wizarding marriage ceremony.
"So, in a nutshell," the counsellor explained, "there are three sets of vows from which to choose. First, there's the straightforward civil vow, which makes it little different from a Muggle wedding," she said, giving a small sniff of disapproval. "The second option is the most popular. In addition to making civil vows, the couple make magical vows of their own creation. These vows may relate to any aspect of the marriage, and although not as powerfully binding as something like an Unbreakable Vow, there would need to be significant magical reversal should the couple decide, for some reason, to terminate their marriage."
As she discussed the options, the counsellor handed them Ministry of Magic pamphlets detailing the particulars of each type of vow. The pamphlets were coloured in lurid pink, with smiling couples waving from the glossy covers. Hermione stuck her tongue out at the man and woman on the front of the second pamphlet and smiled as they shook their heads in disgust.
"The final option takes the magical vows a little further," the counsellor continued. "In this ceremony, the wedding rings are charmed to become part of the vow-making process. The vows can be of the couple's own composition, but one of the vows must include a promise of absolute fidelity. The promise of life-long faithfulness is magically transferred to the wedding bands and, should either of the couple ever stray, their partner will be alerted to their infidelity by the ring. The rings cannot be removed while the marriage lasts, and they must be Goblin-wrought. Goblin-wrought rings are incredibly expensive, and as a result, the third option isn't very common."
"If the unthinkable should happen, and the marriage breaks down," Hermione asked, curious, "are all of the options open to reversal?"
The counsellor nodded. "The first option requires only a divorce. The second and third options vary, depending on the vows adopted. The third option is further complicated by the nature of the rings, but yes, all three ceremonies can be magically reversed. Magical reversals require participation and full consent of both parties."
Hermione and Theo looked at one another. "What do you think?" she asked, thinking the second option might be best.
Theo reached out and took her by the hand. "I like the sound of the Goblin-wrought rings."
Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Are you serious? You'd be willing to take a vow of complete fidelity?"
Theo nodded. "If we're going to do this, let's do it one-hundred per-cent, Hermione. I can afford the Goblin-wrought rings, so why not commit to this completely? I'm agreeing to spend the rest of my life with you, and I'd like everyone to know that I want to do it properly."
Hermione felt a huge rush of affection for him. First he'd surprised her with an engagement ring, and now this. She'd had no idea he was so romantic. Her annoyance at his broken promise vanished.
He raised her hand to his mouth and brushed her fingers against his lips. "Let's just do it," he whispered.
"Okay," she agreed, feeling swept off her feet.
The counsellor clapped her hands in delight. "Wonderful! You're the only couple to opt for the serious vows this year. I'll give you the name of the only jeweller in London who stocks the Goblin-wrought rings. You'll probably have to see him straight away. After all, you've only four days until your wedding!"
They did as the counsellor had suggested, and by that evening they were the proud owners of two Goblin-wrought, platinum wedding rings. The bands were intricately decorated with Celtic runes and symbols and had already been charmed with the fidelity vow, which would become binding once they completed the wedding ceremony. Hermione agreed to keep the rings in her possession until Friday, and she couldn't help running up to her bedroom every now and again to admire the rings, nestled in their little wooden box.
She was touched that Theo had wanted to make such a serious commitment. But it was, perhaps, a sign of her deep unease that she didn't tell anybody else about the rings or the serious vows to which she was about to pledge herself.
ssSss
On Wednesday evening, Hermione Apparated to Cordelia's house in Kensington Square. There were details to be finalised, invitations to be owled, and formal papers to be signed.
Cordelia insisted on opening a bottle of wine. It took an hour to sort through all the items on Cordelia's list, and while Hermione liked her future mother-in-law, she had to admit that Cordelia was something of a control freak. She had the knack of making Hermione agree that Cordelia's suggestions were infinitely superior to her own.
As Hermione read through the list of delicacies that had been ordered for the buffet, she was relieved her mother had talked her into buying the expensive dress from Harrod's. If the Mill family were used to beluga caviar, paté de foie gras and Dom Perignon, they would surely have scorned any wedding robe that was not couture. For the first time since she had become engaged, she felt uncomfortable around such wealth.
Theodore and Severus soon arrived back from a fitting in Bond Street. Severus looked harassed.
"Cordelia, we're going to be late for our engagement with the Malfoys," he said.
Cordelia turned to Hermione with an apologetic smile. "I'm sure you and Theo can finish the remainder of the invitations. It's imperative they be sent tonight." She took her cloak from the back of her armchair and fastened it around her shoulders. "We'll see you both later."
Hermione watched them walk to the door while Theo took the seat beside her on the sofa. Severus turned back to face them before he left.
"Behave yourselves," he said with a smirk.
Theo chuckled, and Hermione blushed. They said nothing as they listened for the click of the latch on the front door. As soon as they heard it, their gazes locked, and Hermione felt a faint ripple of desire run through her at the expression in Theo's eyes. It was the first time they'd been alone for days, and he wasted no time in entangling his hands in her hair and pulling her towards him.
They'd only shared a few brief kisses since their afternoon in Hyde Park, and she'd fretted that he didn't desire her. But now, at last, she finally felt as though he found her attractive. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to where he sat.
Suddenly determined to take the initiative, she straddled his lap. She was rewarded for her effort with a groan, and felt rather smug when she discerned his erection against the inside of her thigh.
He gripped her waist with both his hands and pulled her tighter still against his chest. She moved her lips along his jaw and down to his neck, pleased at his sharp intake of breath. He slipped his hands beneath her light, cotton t-shirt, and she gasped as his fingers met the bare skin of her back, causing her arms to become instantly covered in goose pimples. He ran his palms up her sides, until his thumbs brushed over her nipples.
The room suddenly echoed with a loud crack, and they jumped apart.
"What the hell?" Theo grumbled
Hermione turned. Standing before them was Moe, a tea tray balanced on one hand. Her lips were pursed in disapproval, and Hermione practically leapt from Theo's lap, her cheeks flaming.
"I brought tea for Master Theodore and his fiancée, sir," she announced, darting a glare at Hermione and setting the tray on the coffee table. "They's needing food, I said to myself, with their wedding being only two days away," she said pointedly. With a stern glance at Theo, she clicked her bony fingers and disappeared.
"Well," Theo said, clearing his throat. "That's us told." He gave Hermione a timid smile from beneath his hair as he reached forward and plucked a sandwich from the tray.
Her cheeks were still flushed. "I though house-elves were supposed to be discreet?"
Theo shrugged. "I suppose she thought she was acting our best interests, with the wedding being so close. Either that or Severus told her to act as chaperone."
Hermione shook her head. "How absolutely mortifying," she muttered, pouring the tea. She was certain Severus Snape was to blame.
"I suppose she's right though – we should wait, with the wedding only two days away," Theo said, looking uncomfortable.
Hermione was simultaneously relieved and irritated: irritated that he didn't find her desirable enough to want to take things further, and at the same time relieved that they'd wait until their wedding night. It wasn't that she found Theo unattractive, but she knew there was no true passion. Not yet.
"You're right. We should wait – although," she added, grinning, "our wedding night will be spent on board an airplane."
"We'll have to wait until we're in Tokyo," he muttered, looking bashful.
Hermione met his embarrassed gaze. He was shy, and she'd never known him to have a girlfriend at Hogwarts. "Theo, you're not a, well … you know …" she trailed off, not knowing how to ask.
He raised an amused eyebrow. "A virgin? No – definitely, absolutely not. You?"
She shook her head. "I had two fairly serious relationships while I lived in Paris."
"Only two?" he asked. "Nobody at Hogwarts?"
"No, I … I never slept with Ron. And what do you mean, only two? How many people have you slept with?"
He shrugged and looked awkward. "More than two."
She was surprised. "How many more than two?"
He laughed. "Would you like all the sordid details?"
She frowned. "I don't think so." She was surprised, but she was relieved he wasn't a virgin.
They spent the remainder of the evening writing and owling the wedding invitations. Cordelia was inviting dozens of friends, in addition to almost the entire Mill family, and Hermione knew a moment of sadness when she glanced through her own, short list. In a sudden fit of annoyance at Cordelia, she added the names of the entire Weasley family and their spouses. She hadn't seen Ron since Harry and Ginny's wedding, and she'd never met his Muggle wife, Rose. But maybe the time had come to let bygones be bygones.
When Theo's owl had departed with the last of the scrolls, Hermione yawned and looked at her watch. It was almost midnight.
"Theo!" she exclaimed. "It's nearly midnight. It'll be Thursday in a few minutes, and I'm not supposed to see you the day before the wedding!"
He nodded. "I know. We'd better get you home."
He walked her to the front steps of the house, where he held both her hands in his. Hermione was suddenly tearful. It had all happened so quickly. "The next time I see you, I'll be walking up the aisle," she whispered.
"I know," he replied, giving her a chaste kiss on the forehead. "It's hard to believe."
She raised her glistening eyes to his. "Do you think we'll be alright, Theo? Do you think it will work out?"
He nodded. "Yes – at least, I hope so. I'm very fond of you, you know. I'm sure, in time, it will become more."
She looked into his sincere eyes and was thankful for his honesty. It was so much better than empty declarations of love. A tear rolled down her cheek, and he brushed it gently away with his thumb.
"I'm fond of you, too," she murmured, not really knowing why she was crying. "I'll miss you tomorrow – it will be the first day we haven't seen one another since our engagement."
There were footsteps to their right, and they turned to see Cordelia and Severus returning home from their engagement. Hermione quickly wiped at her tear-stained face and bade them goodnight. With a whispered farewell to Theo, she turned on the spot and Apparated home.
ssSss
Cordelia opened the door and left Severus outside with Theo, who leaned against the railings and raised defiant eyes to his stepfather.
Severus frowned. "Why was she crying, Theo?"
"Because we won't see one another until the wedding," he said.
Severus arched his eyebrows. "No other reason?"
"No, Severus," Theo spat. "Do you really find it beyond the realms of possibility that she might actually like me?"
Severus was silent for a moment as he considered his reply. "I apologise. I didn't mean to offend you."
"No offence taken," Theo said, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Severus turned and pushed open the front door. But then he turned to his stepson once more. He felt he should give some additional warning, say something to make Theodore think this through before lives were changed irrevocably. But words failed him, and he simply said, "Goodnight, Theo."
ssSss
Many miles away, Hermione sat on the edge of her bed and looked around the room that had been hers for as long as she could remember. She picked up a framed photograph of her, Harry and Ron, taken by Arthur Weasley during the summer before the Triwizard Tournament. She'd looked so young – so happy, waving excitedly at the camera. Life had been so much simpler then, and with a wave of regret she wished she was back in Hogwarts with Harry and Ron.
She ran her hands over the familiar surface of her patchwork quilt. Soon she would be Hermione Granger Nott, and she would leave her old life behind. Tomorrow night would be the last night she spent in this small, single bed. Padma, Neville, all the candidates would soon be married, beginning new lives with new partners. But she was the only one who would be leaving her friends and family so very far behind to go and travel the world with a man she barely knew.
She wanted this to work; she wanted to give it everything she had. She was excited about her wedding and the adventures they would have while they traveled the world, but her heart was breaking to think of everything she would have to relinquish as she became Mrs Theodore Nott. Wrapping her quilt around her shoulders, she sank onto her bed and cried herself to sleep.