Hello my fellow shippers! Sorry I haven't updated in a while... So image this chapter decently long! Don't forget to review! I will respond to them! -stupendousshipper
*Kaoru p.o.v*
I have no idea where I'm running but all I know is that I need to run from the truth, from them. Tears are streaming freely from my eyes and I'm vaguely aware that I'm pouding down quite a few flights of stairs, but I don't care. Sunlight becomes rarer and rarer the farther I go. Suddenly, I notice my surroundings. The walls are gray stone with black "curtains" (there were no windows). Cat dolls were eveywhere, all staring quite unsettlingly at me. The room was very dim, but it was no wonder that there was only candlelight, as I looked around I noticed a group of teens in black cloaks muttering some sort of curse. Their hands are interlaced and they are sitting in a circle. There even is a pentagram drawn in chalk on the floor. My breath began to quicken, like a mild form of hyperventilation, as I came to the realization that I'm stuck in the black magic club. A loud sob escapes my lips as I realize that my heartbreaking situation has just gotten worse. I will get no sympathy or peace here. I will only get taunting and witness the shrouded group high five as if one of their curses actually worked. Im snapped out of my freak out when a tall black figure rises from their satanic prayer circle and points to me.
"Shiro, escort this creature out.". Another black figure rises and grabs my arm. Hard.
Once the two of us arrive in the hallway, he lessens his previously rough grip on my arm and turns to face me. He lifts the oversized hood off his head to reveal his floppy brown hair and startling blue eyes. Much to my surprise, he even flashes a comforting smile at me.
"I can see pretty plainly that your going through a rough time," he says with a hint of laughter in his voice, trying to keep the mood light, "And whenever I get upset I do this one thing, it always makes me feel better, maybe it can help you.". The cute, slightly older boy hands me something small and shiny, and as his hand brushes mine, the sleeve of his cloak goes up and reveals scars everywhere on his arms. I can't help but gasp as I come to the realization of what he's offering me. Suddenly, I hear Hikaru's feet pounding on a floor above us. I need to get out of the school. Now. I flash a half-hearted smile at the blue eyed boy and take the razor with me. Why not?
*half an hour later*
Im sitting in the corner of my room. Not our room, but my room. I can't see Hikaru right now. It hurts too much. Speaking of hurting, I researched this cutting thing. Appearantly it makes you feel better for a little while, but it's addictive and snowballs quickly. Most people who do cut hate themselves. Do I hate myself? I mean, Hikaru left me for another person, so I must've done something horrible to betray him, right? Is my torture all my fault? Did I do something to piss Hikaru off enough to make him love me less? If it is my fault, and I think it is, I definitely hate myself. I look down at my new razor and raise it to my inner arm. Wait. Stop Kaoru. This snowballs. It'll just get worse. Plus, it only helps for a little while, the feelings will come back. Plus, you'll have an ugly scar. I toss the razor to the other side of the room and, just for good measure, toss my cell phone at a wall and it shatters instantly. Family plan my ass. Instead of either destroying myself or further break all my belongings, I decide on just staying up all night crying. Hikaru doesn't even come check on me, let alone cuddle up with me. Thunder crashes outside as I come to the relizerion that I've lost my brother.
Hikaru p.o.v.
I've been out all nigh, in a thunderstorm, looking for my little twin. He ran out of the host club in the afternoon but Haruhi made me stay with her, and after about ten minutes I decided to go after him. I checked all over the school, ran to a waiting limo, went home, and looked for him in the living room, kitchen, tv room, even our bedroom. Kaoru is missing! I'm currently in the center of town, sitting on a wet bench and soaked to the bone. It's midnight! Kaoru isn't meant to be alone this late at night! He should be with me! I should've never let Haruhi keep me away. He looked so heartbroken, what is he feeling now? Is he okay? Is my brother injured? Oh god, that would explain why I can't find him! I whip out my cell phone and call Kaoru for the fifteenth time.
"Hi! It's Kaoru, sorry I couldn't get get to the phone right now, but leave a message, and if I feel merciful, I'll call you back! Haha BYE hahaha!"
Dammit. It went straight to the machine. Bu oh god, his laugh. I would give anything to hear his laugh right now, and not recorded. I run my hands through my now disheveled hair, thinking about that magical sound isn't going to get Kaoru saved. I decide to leave the soaking park bench I was sitting on, and return home.
*half an hour later*
I'm at the door of Kaoru's room. I can hear crying noises, but I'm a little apprehensive to just go in. Maybe he wants to be alone? That's why he's in HIS room. But... I'm his brother. I've always been able to make him feel better, so maybe going inside would make that heart shattering sound stop. But, I don't want to hurt him. I shouldn't go in. I should just go to my room and slee-the crying noises get louder and now coughing accompanies the sobs.
"Grow a pair, Hikaru.", I mutter to myself, and then, with shaking hands, I step into his room.
*Kaoru p.o.v.*
No. No. No. No. My heart gains speed as I see my twin open my door. Just looking at him reminds me of the way he constantly betrays me, and what could have been. We could've stayed close, inseparable, just like old times. I guess he got bored of me. Doesn't want to see my sorry face anymore. Oh god. No. I look like a mess! My eyes are puffy and red! My hair is sticking straight up from pulling at it so much (Pulling my hair out makes me feel better for a second. It's not as bad as cutting. Right?). I'm slumped over with tear stains everywhere. My fingernails are just stumps from gnawing them off. Hikaru can't see me like this! I run/crawl under the down comforter on my bed and hide from him. Yes, I know it looks childish, but it works.
Hikaru softly pads over to me and begins to rub my back soothingly. I'm silently fighting not to melt into that touch, but it's difficult. He sits on the bed, and the mattress dips under his weight, forcing me closer to him. Why can't he touch me like this more often? Oh god, shut up Kaoru. He ignored you when you needed him, he chose someone else over you. You can't always be waiting for him. Dammit why is he rubbing on my lower back. Ugh I know I shouldn't be enjoying this so much, but it feels so gooood. Man up Kaoru. Grow a pair. you can deal.
*Hikaru p.o.v.*
Kaoru is muttering "You will not be the second choice." to himself repeatedly, and after the five hundred and thirty sixth time he mumbles the phrase, he pokes his head out of the big fluffy blanket. His red-rimmed eyes go wide, then scrunch up and begin to water. Why is he crying?! His head ducks back under the duvet.
Okay. Lets use this time productively and try to sort this thing out. He wasn't the happiest guy for the last few weeks, and his mood is getting progressively worse. He looks lonely all the time, and it's obvious that he wants more attention from me. I've noticed him pulling Haruhi aside about once every four or so days, and seemingly pleading with her. Maybe he's asking her to invite him to hang out with us? He should know that he is always welcome, at least to me. Why has nothing changed though? Why hasn't Haruhi taken action? Does she even want him around?
I am jumping to conclusions. I shouldn't get this ahead of myself... But him being lonely and neglected definetly could be the issue. It's time to fix this.
"Kaoru, you know that I love you right?" I say calmingly, in a low voice. Kaoru barely nods and his beautiful golden eyes twinkle. "I hate to see you this upset. It really just breaks my heart. So I need you to tell me what's going on.".
Kaoru looks at me, with his big orbs that are the color of the sun, they're wide and pleading for a little time before he tells me. I want to know now what's making his wonderful smile leave, and crush whatever causes him so much pain, but I just give him a sad smirk, a wink and settle into bed with him.
*Kaoru p.o.v.*
I wish this moment could last forever. Hikaru has fallen asleep and I can feel his soft, hot breath on the back of my neck. It's silent, and finally, peaceful. His arms are around my waist and I'm tucked right into him, surrounded by him. Spooning is the best. The longest strands of his hair are slightly tickling my left ear. All he is wearing is boxers, for he stripped off after he got on bed. I can feel his warm, supple skin on mine. I feel so at home. Cuddling with Hikaru, it bliss. This feels like sitting by a fire, drinking hot chocolate, and reading your favorite book; warm, comfy, indefinetly happy. He moves in his sleep and puts his hand on my lower stomach and lightly rubs there for a solid three minutes. Electricity seems to be shooting everywhere in my body and although I can't keep myself from shivering, I successfully fought back a long breathy moan of pleasure. Whatever dream he was having, I sure like it. It's pitch black, and silent, except for Hikaru's soft groans in his sleep. All I can smell is my brother, and although I wish I could taste him, I can't. Therefore, my sense of touch is on fire. This literally feels like its just Hikaru and I in the world. In this blissful state, Hikaru can't leave me. I get him, for once. Now, Hikaru is finally mine.