hey guys...so i'm back! merry christmas!

anyway, i have a feeling this chapter is kind of bad. because i kind of just watched BOFA like yesterday and i am still so urgh over the movie like i cannot even begin okay? and anyway, since i can't find the script for this and everything...well. i thought i wouldn't focus so much on what happened in the movie. just, you know, more on Fili and Ella.

because i love Fili i still do omg my heart hurts

hope you like it!

Emma sat curled up in her bedroom, staring at the sketchpad propped up on her desk, her arms around her.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Something was wrong. Something so very bad was about to happen.

Ella would break. Ella was going to break.

But what was she going on about? Ella was dead, dead, dead –

Ella was dead.

But she was going to break, and she was going to break painfully –

Emma didn't understand anything.

"Come on, Tilda – that's it, you'll be okay, get in the boat – "

Fili could see her dark, messy head of hair as she helped the younger girl into the boat, ignoring Sigrid's offer of help and telling the bargeman's daughter to go in with Tilda "because you're her sister and she needs you". This was not right, not right at all, what he and his kin had brought upon the people of Laketown – because this was the result of the company's venture into the mountain. He knew it was.

Fire burned around them.

Red hot, flickering orange and yellow, flames dancing upon the water. Screams filled the air, heart-wrenching shrieks piercing his ears.

Something twisted in his chest.

Wrong. This was wrong, all so wrong. All this pain, all this fire, all this destruction.

It shouldn't be this way.

It was Bain who got into the boat next, who ignored Ella's protests that she could get in perfectly well on her own and hauled her in anyway. Fili had to fight the twitch of a smile forming on his face. Mahal, that girl would never change, would she?

He could still remember how she insisted she could get on and off a pony just fine.

"I'm fine," he heard Kili mutter, as his younger brother clambered onto the boat before him, Oin close behind. "I can walk."

No, you idiot, you're not okay. Fili was many things, and an overprotective brother was one of them. He was not going to let his stupid, recklessly brave brother do something stupid to harm himself again –

He clambered into the boat next to Bofur, just as Ella scrambled over from where she'd been sitting next to Bain, to shove her way next to Kili.

"I've missed annoying you," she announced to him. "So here I am."

Mahal.

Fili could feel the smile spreading across his face, even as he lifted the oars and began rowing them through the blazing inferno that was Laketown. Ella was – oh, gods, Ella was something else entirely. She was ridiculous, and she was reckless and stubborn and proud, but she was so damn wonderful. She was there for Kili, there in the way only she could be, because someone had to be there.

Ella.

"Not in the mood, El – "

Kili's annoyed words were abruptly cut off by a loud shriek from Bard's daughters as a plank of flaming wood nearly fell on them.

"Someone needs to take care of you," Fili heard Ella say as he focussed on getting them out of this fiery town. "Clearly, the best person for this job is me, because Tauriel is in front making sure we don't get burnt alive and your brother is helping row us out of this place."

Fili could imagine the smile on Kili's face. "I never thought you for the motherly type, Mistress Aidan."

"Think of it as sisterly," she said. "We've been in death-defying situations before. I thought that a little humour is always necessary in such – oh my fuck, Fili look the fuck out – "

The boat swerved just in time to avoid a blaze of fire, and Fili looked up to see Ella's wide brown eyes behind her glasses.

He managed a smile. "You do care."

Almost immediately, the girl drew her eyes away.

Mahal, he wished he could keep her safe. Away from this, away from this blazing fire, from the dragon Smaug roaring through the skies above them.

She deserved some safety and peace, after everything she'd put herself through with them.

"Bain!"

The shriek that escaped her lips was nearly frantic as the boy leapt out of the boat and scrambled along the wooden planks, the town ablaze around him. Oh god, what on earth was he doing? He was an idiot, a complete mother-fucking moron –

"Duck!"

It was Kili who dragged her down, sheltering her under his arms as another couple of planks of flaming wood crumpled somewhere nearby them.

Stupid Bain. Stupid Kili. Stupid Fili. Stupid Bard. Actually, stupid just-about-everyone-who-put-themselves-in-high-risk-missions-likely-to-result-in-death – which was, really, just about everyone in Middle Earth.

Ella swore as she felt the heat on her skin.

She had never liked fire. Actually, she was no good with heat in general. She always got the worst, most massive headaches whenever –

She abruptly let out a string of harsh words as she ducked once more, this time tugging Oin with her.

"You really should learn to control what comes out of that mouth," said a voice that made her heart twist as she straightened back up again on their path on the water out of Laketown. Good god – Fili.

Oh god, she really wished she could turn around and kiss him senseless.

This was, she supposed, probably not the best thought to have when she was still so mad at him for leaving her behind, even though she knew he wanted to protect her. And also when he hadn't sought her out until Kili's injury had forced him to. And especially not the best thought to have when they were sailing through a city on fire.

She really needed to get her priorities straight.

When they finally stumbled onto land, Ella dripping wet and freezing, she watched as Sigrid and Tilda immediately darted out of sight, shouting for their brother, for their father.

Something twisted in her chest.

"Ella."

It was Fili, standing right behind her, tugging at the hem of his shirt, his eyes darting around, as if unsure where to look.

She had a feeling he knew what he was going to say.

"You're leaving."

His eyes finally met hers. "I have to."

"It's your quest."

"You can't come."

"I know."

For what felt like forever, he stared at her, and Ella squirmed uncomfortably where she stood.

"You – what?" he said, almost dumbly.

"I know," she repeated, swallowing before continuing: "I mean – if I go, you have to – you have to look after me. And – and this is your quest." She managed a smile. "I mean, I know that the dragon's dead and all, but I have a feeling that there's still a lot of work to be done." She made a face at him. "I'm not about to go carrying heavy pieces of rock around."

"Your arms would probably break," he said, automatically: "That's why you have people like me around, for the muscle." He managed a smile back. "There's something more."

He had stepped forward now, his hands catching hers, and goddammit his hands were so damn warm around her own.

"I can't leave them," she admitted, in a voice so soft that it was almost difficult to hear what she was saying – unless Fili drew her close and leant his head down, which was exactly what he did. "Sigrid and Tilda and Bain and Bard. They're hurt, and they're homeless and they're starving and winter is nearly here. I have to – I have to help where I can. I mean – we – we kind of brought this on them, Fee. And I can't just – I can't just leave them – "

Her words were cut off as the blond dwarf drew her into a hug, pulling her to him tightly.

"Mahal," he said, murmuring into her hair, into her shoulder. "You're – you're amazing. You know that? Because you are. You're amazing. You're wonderful and you are beautiful and you are amazing and I love you."

And just like that, something seemed to tear a hole in Ella's chest as she wrapped her own arms around his neck, and panic suddenly overcame her.

She wasn't going to see him again, if she let him go.

"I love you," she found herself mumbling into his golden mane, her breath against his jawline. "I love you I love you I love you I love you. I love you, goddammit, Fili, and you have to promise – you have to promise, you have to, you have to – you have to promise to come back to me."

She couldn't let him go, she couldn't, she knew, she just knew it –

"You have my word," he said to her, his hands now firmly on her waist as he drew back slightly, seeking her brown eyes with his own blue ones – and Ella found, to her own disgust, that she could feel tears welling up in her eyes.

Irritated, she pushed up her glasses to rest at the top of her head.

"You have my word," Fili repeated, his hands tighter around her waist. "I'll come back to you."

"You promise?"

She felt like a small child again, hanging onto Fili so tightly, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill.

What was she doing? What was wrong with her? All that was going to happen was that he would get the Mountain back in order, and she would help the people of Laketown as long as they needed help.

And then they would be together again.

It sounded so sappy, but oh god, there it was.

"I promise," he said to her.

And then he kissed her, and goddammit, she didn't want to let go.

Her grip around his neck tightened, as did his hands around her waist, their bodies pressed close together as they sought each other, hungrily.

She wasn't going to let him go, she wasn't, she wasn't –

When they finally broke apart, foreheads resting against each other's, their breathing was heavy, harsh.

You will never see him again if you let him go now.

"I love you," she found herself whispering, her lips gliding across his, softly.

"I love you."

A throat cleared from somewhere next to them. "Fili. Lass."

It was Bofur, standing somewhat awkwardly as he jabbed his head towards the direction of the boat. "We need to go."

"One moment." Fili's eyes were fixed on hers, his forehead still against hers, his arms around her waist. "Do you – do you have my bead? Did Sigrid pass it to you?"

She swallowed. "Yes."

"Keep it." He smiled. "I'll be back for it."

He won't be back for it.

"You don't have anything of mine," she found herself saying. She unlocked her hands from around his neck, tugged at one of the many braided bracelets that still hung on her wrist, that still managed to hang on from the time she had washed up in the river and Fili had found her.

She didn't want to question how they had managed to survive, despite their bruised and battered condition.

"It's not much," she said, pushing the blue-and-silver bracelet into his hands. "It's – just that. But you'd better keep it. It's a promise. Okay?"

He smiled at her, as his hand closed around it, as Ella reached up to tug at the braids that dangled at his moustache. "Promise."

It's a promise he can't keep.

She yanked him down and kissed him again, fiercely, before pulling back, her breathing harsh, her steps shaky.

"Go," she said. "Go."

He squeezed her hand, one last time, before running down to help Bofur and Oin, to call Kili away from Tauriel.

"I'll be back for you," he said to her. "I'll be back before you realise just how much you've missed me."

She managed a shaky laugh. "You think I'll miss you."

"I know you will."

And then he was gone.

He was gone, and he was going to come back, he had promised –

But suddenly everything around her was cold and dark and dim, and Ella could feel something tearing at her chest.

Gone.

sooo...what do you guys think?