A/N: I'm always confused about if I'm ought to answer your reviews or not, since I love answering them if I have something proper to say but when there's nothing to which I should answer I just can't find enough to say, besides thank you. Well, I should probably go to the point, finally, meaning that I'm once again very grateful for your reviews and happy that you're reading :)

Cinnamon, I think they just can't even think about being in love with each other, even though I guess they surely must realize that there's something going on between them, and that's why they don't realize what we do :D Well, to be honest I haven't got clear image of how this story will end, yet, or how long it will take. This will contain at least about 15 chapters, but after that everything's open. Still, I don't believe I'll write about the Order years in this story. I have a few ideas of new stories that I'd like to write, and one of them involves Sirius and Remus during the Order years, so…

The Spirit Mage, thanks! I'm really happy to hear that you've found the atmosphere of the Marauder's Era in this story! I love writing about the Marauders, since besides Regulus and Lily the Marauders are my favorites, and writing about them I can write stories that involve all my favorite characters. Anyway, I've always had some problems trying to write pranks… I'm happy that in this story they're a bit older and aren't that interested in the pranks anymore!

lovefan81, to be honest, I'm not sure if I'm the one who decides when there will be some kissing in this story… Of course, I made plans when I started writing this, but as usually, in some point I noticed that the story does what it wants and I'm just following, so blame the story, not the author :D Yeah, Remus and the others seem to be a bit slow at realizing… Even though I still can't think Sirius as actually gay. Maybe that's because I can't imagine him being interested in any other boy but Remus, but still I think Sirius has got some history with liking girls and dating them.

And then the chapter…

Chapter 6: To Disappear, To Appear

It was all about timing. It was the summer after the fifth grade and Sirius had been back in Grimmauld Place two days, when the letter came. His mother came to inform him, in a very polite and absent way in which they were interacting nowadays, that his cousins Bellatrix and Narcissa were coming to visit them within a few days. It was bad enough, because Sirius didn't like either of the girls. It was even worse, because Regulus, to whom he barely spoke anymore, regarded Narcissa as most interesting woman in a wizarding history.

But it got worse. A few hours before the girls were supposed to arrive there was a battle. Sirius was lying on his bed, reading some magazine he had got from James and kept under his wardrobe so that Kreatcher couldn't find it, when he heard his mother beginning to scream. It was quite usual, though, but this time it didn't stop and so he began to listen the words, too. It was something about filthy half-bloods who had destroyed her own relative for no reason at all and who all had to be punished. Well, it was slightly more interesting than the usual reasons for her screaming, like Kreatcher having forgotten to clean the sheets in a proper way.

When Narcissa and Bellatrix arrived, they were wearing nothing but black. Narcissa stared at Sirius like he had smelled worse than anything on the table, and Bellatrix didn't even bother to look at him. For some reason, Regulus seemed to be offended, too, and he couldn't figure out why, because they hadn't been talking for almost a year. And then he got details: the destroyed relative had been Narcissa's and Bellatrix's uncle, who had been put to Azkaban by an Auror called John Potter, who just happened to be James' father. Sirius decided to go to his own room before Narcissa would spit on him or Bellatrix would kill him.

A few following days were quite peaceful. Sirius tried to ask Regulus if they were able to go to swim anywhere, but Regulus just glared at him and turned away. Okay, Regulus surely knew he was best friends with James Potter, so he kind of understood. And Regulus had apparently informed his mom about it, because she didn't bother to talk to him in those days more than once, when she told him to wash his hands before coming to eat.

Well, Sirius could live in silence. He wrote letters to James, Peter and Remus, to each of them separately, so it took a lot of his time, especially with his handwriting. And interpreting James' letters took a lot of time, too, because James' handwriting was even worse than his.

Two weeks after the beginning of the holiday it happened. James' owl was quite old, and for some reason it couldn't find Sirius' window but went to knock the window of his parents' bethroom. His mother opened the letter and promised Sirius in a very fascinating way that he could either not to speak to James Potter ever again or become transformed to Durmstrang. He thought about it for a few seconds and then walked out of the door.

James looked shocked. He was still holding the door like he hadn't been sure if he wanted to let him come inside, and all the time he was staring at him.

'What the hell has happened?' James managed to say in the end. 'What're you doing here?

Sirius wasn't sure if he knew it himself. 'I got burned.'

'What?'

'Well, not literally.' He was trying to make sentences, he really was. It was just a little hard. 'We've got a family tree, you know. My mom burned you.'

'Your mom burned you', James repeated slowly. 'From your family tree. Is it… bad?'

Sirius shook his head. 'No idea. Am sorry. I just had to go somewhere.'

'How did you got here?' James frowned. 'You don't have your broom, and I'm living hundred kilometers away from your place.'

'Hitchhiked.'

'You… oh, well, you have to come inside. Now. I don't have a clue what you're talking about.'

'I left', he said entering the house. He had never seen it before, but he couldn't really focus on thinking about it right now. His mind was full of things that couldn't find their place and there was still that voice in his mind, her mom shouting that she would burn him from the tapestry. Like Andromeda.

'You left?' James repeated blankly. 'Okay. You can very well visit us. I've been trying to make you do so for years, you know. When are you going back?'

'I'm not.'

'You aren't going back?'

Suddenly he felt too tired to explain anything. He had left in the morning and now it was almost midnight and it had taken hours to find out where one could hitchhike and get a ride, and then he had to find a Muggle who was going to the right direction and wasn't bothered even though Sirius was wearing a black robe. Fortunately he had written so many letters to James that he had remembered the address. Otherwise he should have gone to Remus' place near Manchester and that would have been far worse.

'Your dad got one of them to Azkaban', he said when James had put him sitting on a couch in a little room that was probably supposed to be living room, even though it lacked all the dark wooden furniture, badly-behaving portraits on the walls and the thick carpet on the floor. 'One of my relatives. My mom knows we're friends so she wouldn't speak to me. And then your owl went to her bedroom for mistake and she read your letter and I had to go to Durmstrang and then I left. And she shouted after me and said she'd burn me off, so it's permanent. Meda was burnt off and no one's talking about her anymore. It's like she's dead.'

James was staring at him. 'I'm sorry.'

'It's not your fault. And besides, I think you should get a new owl. I don't think your old one can make it away from ho- from Grimmauld Place.'

James nodded. 'You should probably sleep on that couch. You could sleep in my room, of course, but there's only one bed there and mom and dad are already sleeping and they're going to ask some questions if I wake them up, so…'

'This is fine', Sirius said quickly. 'What were you doing awake, anyway? Waiting for your stupid friend to get kicked off his place and come to visit?'

James threw a quick glance to a bottle that was standing on the little table and a piece of paper next to it.

'Ah', Sirius said.

'I know she won't read my letters', James said, 'but I'm sort of missing her. I thought I could at least try…'

Obsessed. That was what James was, totally obsessed. Sirius rolled his eyes and felt a bit better.

'But you look like you need some sleep, so I guess I'll just go to the upstairs', James said quickly. 'I can finish it tomorrow. In fact, since you're here, you can help me.'

No, he couldn't. James trying to seduce Lily Evans was something he wouldn't participate. 'Are you parents fine with me being here? The don't come to eat something at night and find someone stranger sleeping on their couch?'

'They know how you look like', James said. 'And they're fine. I promise. Just sleep.

'James Potter!'

Sirius frowned. He had had a nice dream in which he was riding a motorcycle that could fly, and for some reason James had got Evans at least, and Remus was there, too, and they were sitting in a pub that looked really nice, and then that demanding voice just had to woke him up. And why would anyone call for James Potter, anyway?

He opened one of his eyes and it hit him immediately. He wasn't at Grimmauld Place. He was lying on James' couch and the woman staring at him had to be Anne Potter. He tried to get up, but the blood got to his head and he couldn't see anything for a moment.

'Just lie down, dear', said mrs. Potter still staring at the upstairs like she had been waiting James to peek through the ceiling. 'You're looking quite messed. I didn't want to wake you up, but I got a little surprised.'

'I'm sorry', Sirius muttered. 'I came last night. James let me in. I didn't know where else I could have gone.'

'It's alright', mrs. Potter said but Sirius wasn't really sure at all, if she meant it. 'Where the heck is James? Ah, there you're. Could you please explain why Sirius Black is lying on our couch?' She threw a quick glance at Sirius. 'Not that it matters, dear.'

James was coming down the stairs his hair pointing to every possible direction. 'What's the time, mom? Too early or far too early?'

'Cut it out', his mother snapped. 'I don't care if you invite your friends to come over, but you could at least inform us. And why did you make him sleep on a couch? Don't you remember how aunt Michelle was complaining after we made him sleep on that last Christmas?'

'Sirius is thirty years younger', James muttered trying to get his hair to settle down. 'And I didn't know he was coming. So when he appeared to our door, it was midnight and I just thought you wouldn't want to wake up, and there was just one bed in my room.'

'Well, this is a surprise visit, then?'

James glanced at Sirius, confused. Sirius swallowed. 'I had a fight with my mom. Bad one. So I left and didn't know where else to go.'

It felt terribly empty when he said it aloud to a person who was practically a stranger to him. He had to shook his head to realize that he was really awake. He had left home and come to Potters' and now he was sitting in their living room explaining that this had been the only place he could go when his own mother had kicked him out. He didn't know if he had to laugh or cry, but he didn't feel doing either of them, so he just kept sitting silent when mrs. Potter stared at him.

'Well', the woman said finally, 'I'm going to make some tea. James, you should get some clean clothes for Sirius.'

Anne Potter left the room. James stood still, staring at Sirius, but a small smile began to appear on his face.

'I told you she won't mind', he said. 'See? But I could bet that she's going to have a talk with you later, so get prepared.'

'I can't go back', Sirius said. 'I should try to figure out another place where to go, of course, but I can't get back. Maybe I can find Andromeda. I heard she's living somewhere near London with her Muggle-born husband.'

James shrugged. 'Or you can stay here.'

'I can't.'

'We don't mind. In fact, I couldn't get sleep right away last night and I was thinking a bit. If you aren't going back home, you should stay here.'

Sirius frowned. 'What? I didn't mean that, Prongs. I just came here for a few nights. I didn't mean that you had to le me stay or anything.'

'I know. But where would you go? You don't know where Andromeda lives and she's got a small kid, right? And you haven't seen her for years.'

'She's my cousin.'

'I'm practically your brother', James snapped. 'Peter's got quite a small house, I don't think they have a room for you. And I don't know about Remus, but he doesn't even talk about his home. I think they've got some issues there. Besides, he lives so far in the north. And I don't mind you living here. And it won't be permanent. After a few years we're going to move on our own and - '

'Sirius! James! Breakfast's ready!'

James rolled his eyes. 'Hear that? She's already calling you before me.'

Sirius stayed at Potters' place. Every time he began talking about finding Andromeda, James and his mother said it was a stupid idea and he was already living with them. John Potter didn't seem to mind, either, and so after a few days Sirius stopped mentioning Andromeda. He and James sneaked to Grimmauld Place using the window of his bedroom, and his mother hadn't apparently thought that he might try it, because there wasn't charms stopping them and they got in. They grabbed all the essential supplies like some motorcycle magazines and a few clothes and a photo album and some school stuff and got off, and after that it took years before Sirius went back to his ex-home.

After a few weeks he and James had a little accident that got half of Sirius' room exploded, and when Anne had been shouting at them like five minutes, Sirius began to feel he was at home. James wrote letters to Peter and Remus. Peter answered with a postcard with two almost-naked blond girls and there was quite little text on the card, but Remus sent a fat, worried letter full of words that Sirius had to check out with a dictionary. He answered Remus demanding him to come to visit them, and in August Remus finally came. It was two weeks before the school would start again, when Sirius was sitting in the kitchen eating the massive breakfast, when there was quiet knock coming from the door.

He hadn't got used to it yet. He could go to the kitchen and eat whatever he liked without feeling weird, but opening the door was quite different. Every time he did it he imagined how the person standing there would get surprised. Who was that black-haired boy that didn't really belong to here? Or had James had some accident that had made his face look much more handsome? Or had the Potters' got a servant? Human-looking house-elf, maybe? So he waited for a few seconds, but when the knock was there again and every one else seemed to be still in the upstairs, Sirius stood up and reluctantly went to the door.

Remus was standing there, frowning, when he opened the door.

'Morning', he said. 'I came.'

'It's you, great', Sirius said swallowing a piece of bread. 'I'm always worried if there's someone who thinks I'm a house-elf. Come here, I'm having a breakfast.'

Remus entered the house looking around quite carefully. 'Isn't there anyone else?'

'Prongs spent the last night whining over Lily, so he's not probably going to wake up this early', Sirius explained.

'It's almost midday.'

'As I told you. And I'm quite sure mr. Potter has gone for work, and I don't really know where mrs. Potter is. I think James has some kind of a syndrome, really. I guess mrs. Potter is a little like Lily, at least she's as effective and demanding when she's in the mood.'

'You're eating alone?'

'Not anymore', Sirius said pushing Remus towards the kitchen. 'Do you want porridge? Mrs. Potter makes that every time even though she knows I'm not going to eat it. So you can save me, Moony. Or do you want bread? We've got jam, too.'

He could feel Remus staring at his back as he went to find the jam. The boy had surely lacked company this summer. It was as he had been confused just to be near someone.

'What happened?' Remus asked suddenly.

Sirius took the jam to him and went to find some bread. It was too bad he had already eaten everything else. Besides porridge, of course. He couldn't realize how James was able to eat it every morning, and even claim that he liked it.

'Sirius', Remus sighed with his I'm-going-to-have-serious-talk-and-you-can't-stop-me -voice.

Sirius sat down and grabbed the jam. 'My mom got bored with me. It was pretty much not talking to you guys ever again or walking away right away. Of course, the last one wasn't an option she gave me, but I chose it anyway.'

'Why?'

'Why what?'

Remus just stared at him. Sirius began to feel quite uncomfortable. Remus was nice, of course, he wouldn't have changed Remus into anything, except perhaps into a very shiny and brand-new motorcycle. But sometimes Remus was a little too talkative. And he was talking about wrong issues.

'We haven't been talking for years', Sirius muttered finally. 'Not after I got used to the idea of being Gryffindor and she didn't. And she's been complaining over me befriending with you guys, of course, especially James, because his father is an Auror. It was only a matter of time.'

'How about Regulus?'

'What about him?'

'What did he do?'

Sirius bit his lower lip. 'Nothing, of course. Last summer we were at least talking, but no, nothing. I don't know if he heard when I left. I didn't see him that day.'

'Haven't you talked to him ever since?'

'I was burned out off the tapestry', Sirius said hating the fact that his voice was cracking. 'They kicked me out off the family, Moony. Me and James sneaked a few days after and took some of my stuff, but that's all. I can't go there. And if I went, they'd just throw me away.'

'I'm sorry.'

Sirius tried to roll his eyes, but didn't succeed that well. 'Shut up. I don't need anyone to cry over me.'

'But it's your family.'

'Not anymore.' Sirius took a deep breath. 'Eat your porridge before it gets cold. We're going to go to swim today, if James only wakes up before it's dark.'

Remus nodded and ate, but kept staring at Sirius every time he though that Sirius wouldn't notice. Well, he did. And when Remus was washing his plate, he surprised them both by standing a bit too close to him, not sure if he ought to hug Remus or grab his shoulder or something. The last one felt like a safer choice and so he chose it.

'It's just us now', he said and felt Remus tense, but it didn't matter. 'Me and you and James and Pete. So get used to it.'

'You could talk to them', Remus muttered. 'At least to Regulus. He's your bother, after all.'

'I'm doing fine, Moony', he said. 'Really. It's going to be okay.'