A/N: Thanks for the reviews and sorry for being so slow at getting this chapter here…

Chapter 7: Cinnamon and Punch

Remus was sitting on his bed with empty expression in his face, his eyes fixed on Peter's trousers that were hanging on the window sill for some reason. He was frowning slightly like the worried expression had been permanently tattooed on his face. I stopped to the bathroom door and for a moment I thought I could just go and leave him staring whatever he was staring, but of course I couldn't.

I turned around to face him. 'Moony?'

He blinked. 'Padfoot.'

'What's going on? You never told you want those trousers that badly.'

He didn't even bother to fake laughing. 'Nothing. And I don't.'

'You're staring at them.'

'My eyes have to be fixed on something. It's normal.'

'Well, I'm quite sure there're more interesting this to stare at than Pete's trousers. Besides, I think they're lying on windowsill for a good reason.' I frowned when the though occurred to my mind. 'Where's Sarah?'

He shrugged. 'Don't know. Why?'

'Just thought could use a good shag.'

Now he looked at me. His expression wasn't exactly what I had hoped, but he looked angry, which was probably better than blank.

'Just kidding', I added quickly, just in case. 'Is something wrong? Are you having a fight?'

'No.'

'Oh, you're.'

'I said no.'

'Yeah, and I said I'd shag her and you didn't neither laugh or kill me. That's serious. What's the fight about?'

I didn't really expect him to answer. I didn't even like asking, because it was Remus who always did this serious conversation thing for us all, so that when it was him who needed to be talked to it was quite hard. Often we just let him be and wished that the problem would solve itself, but now I just couldn't.

'I can't tell her', Remus said suddenly, his eyes big and… scared? 'It's impossible, Sirius. I like her, I really do, but I can't even tell her the most important thing about me!'

'That you're snoring?'

He looked offended. 'I'm trying to talk seriously here. And, I don't snore.

I sighed and turned to look through the window. The snow was covering all the scenery. I wondered if there was snow in London in Christmas, too. 'It's not the most important thing, Moony. She knows you. It's not like she doesn't know anything when she doesn't know everything about you.'

'It's too big a thing to hide.'

'Well, you're hiding it and succeeding very well', I said. 'And you're having a good relationship, anyway.'

'It could be better.'

'How?'

He stared at me. 'I'm almost lying to her. It's not real. We aren't real.'

'Well, do you want to tell her? If you want, you just have to. Take a risk that she's a coward and gets distracted.'

'I couldn't blame her even though she did.'

'You're being modest', I said and walked to him. 'Listen to me, Moony. You know I don't really enjoy talking this seriously, not especially when I've come from the Quidditch practise and I'm covered with sweat and I can't make myself go to take a shower because you're sad. You're too good for her, and if she doesn't get it, it's her problem. You can tell her or not tell her or whatever you decide, but anyway, if she some day breaks up with you it has nothing to do with you not being good enough.'

He watched away looking really tired. Shit. I never knew how I was supposed to make him feel better, and still I couldn't bare to watch him being sad.

'Thanks', he muttered after a moment.

I stared at him and he stared back at me. There was a bit of blood on his lower lip and he opened his mouth just a little.

'I've got to take that shower', I said. 'I have to ask Susie to Christmass Ball and she won't ever accept if I stink like a dog.'

*

Remus made up with Sarah. When I got away from the bathroom, he had already gone. I found him sitting in the common room one of his hands wrapped around the brown-haired girl. He didn't look quite satisfied, anyway, but I decided not to think about it. He was probably just grieving all the time he had lost with her when he had been worrying over how he wasn't good enough. Stupid git.

'Padfoot', he called when I came to the doorway. 'You didn't tell how your practice was.'

'Well, I've been noticing that you find your miserable books more interesting than my noble sport, mister Lupin', I said and sat down next to him. Sarah didn't look quite happy about me being there, but I didn't really cared about that. The girl just had to cope on.

'Don't try to speak properly when you really can't', he claimed. 'And of course I'm interested. Did Prongs get a Bludger to his head since he's not here now?'

'I don't know', I shrugged. 'He muttered something about a mission and disappeared.'

Remus frowned. 'Fuck. I thought he said we're too old to add anything to the punch in Christmas Ball, but maybe - '

He shut his mouth as James walked in - or ran in. He was going right behind Lily Evans, who was speeding up to reach the stairs leading to the girls' dormitory.

'Lily', James was saying, trying to catch his breath. 'Can't you even think about it?'

'I already said no', Lily claimed without turning around.

'Why?'

I glanced at Remus. He was holding tightly to Sarah's hand and his mouth had tightened.

Lily stopped. 'Because you've asked me out thousands of times, Potter.'

'That's only Christmas Ball! And we've been out before.'

'That was Hogsmeade, and it's been almost three months.'

'What's wrong with that? Or Christmas Ball? Don't you want the entire school to see you with me, is that what it is?'

I frowned. Evans didn't look as tough as she could have been. She was looking at him quite… kindly? I tried to look at Remus and see if he was seeing that too, but he was staring at them too focused.

'Maybe that's exactly what it is', Lily said. I wondered if she didn't get that the whole common room, meaning me, Remus, Sarah and a few second-graders, was staring at them or if she just didn't care. 'We've been almost friends, James. Is this why you let it happen? That you wanted to show the whole school that you've finally managed to hit on me?'

'No!' James barked. 'I just want to go to Christmas Ball with you!'

'Surely', Lily said, 'so that you can think you're a winner and that's it.'

'That's what?'

'Us!'

'What?'

I have to admit: I was really on James' side, and that wasn't only because he was my best friend. Evans was being so difficult that I almost felt sorry for James. Besides, I didn't understand a word Evans was saying.

'So there is something you call "us"?' James asked with a hopeful voice. Lily had grabbed the doorframe and was holding onto it with her knuckers going white.

'Well, there isn't apparently anymore, if everything you care about is some fucking Christmas Ball', Lily said, but she didn't sound as angry as before, either.

James shook his head, disbelieving expression on his face. 'You're daft, Lily Evans. Totally daft. I've been trying to make you like me for years and now you're trying to say that all I care about is Christmas Ball?'

'I'm a prize, right?' she said, looking suddenly quite sad. Really sad, in fact. 'The girl you're trying to hit on for years and now you've won.'

James looked confused. 'Am I?'

'I'm not going to go to Christmas Ball with you', Lily muttered. 'Don't you see? Then you've got what you wanted and you have six months left to chase after someone else until the school ends.'

'Well, what if we make a deal?' James said, sounding suddenly excited like he had wanted to jump or scream but had tried not to. 'You're coming to Christmas Ball with you and I'll still try to hit on you the whole spring?'

Lily watched him, looking like she wasn't exactly sure if she was being tricked or not. 'What're you trying to say?'

'That you aren't just a prize and I'm not going to give up until we are married.' James looked quite terrified after realizing what he had just said. A few seconds and his whole face was covered with shining red color. 'Or, well, I think we should talk about that in… private.'

'You suck at having speeches, Potter', Lily said watching around her like she would have seen us all for the first time. 'I'll wait for you seven o'clock in the common room tomorrow. Don't be late.'

She turned around and disappeared within few seconds. James stood still staring after the stairs where she had gone, his mouth open and eyes totally confused.

'Prongs?' Remus called smiling.

James turned to look at him. 'Did she just… what the heck was she trying to say?'

'I'm not sure', Remus said. 'But I'm quite sure you're going to go to Christmas Ball with her.'

'I am?'

'Seven o'clock, tomorrow night. Dress robe or black shirt or whatever you prefer, but get that hair of yours into a proper condition.'

'My hair', James repeated very slowly. 'Lily Evans…'

'Is Christmas Ball tomorrow?' I asked Remus. 'I've got to find a girl.'

Remus looked surprised and somewhat… well, I suck at trying to interpret his expressions, anyway. 'You don't have a partner?'

'I just haven't had time to ask anyone yet. Does Pete have a girl?'

'Yes', Remus said. 'Maria Brown. Looks like Prongs isn't the only one who finally got lucky.'

'Don't forget yourself', said Sarah, kissing him on his cheek.

He looked at me and smiled in sort of a weird way. Probably he was just thinking what he and Sarah could do after the stupid Ball was over and I would be drunk and miserable and Peter would be shagging Maria Brown and James would be trying to convince Lily Evans to hold hands with him and the dormitory would be all empty. But his smile was still rather weird.

*

I managed to find Susie in the library. She was sitting in a corner her reddish blond hair falling to his face and big, fat book lying on the table in front of her. There were two other girls, too, a thick, brown-haired girl with spectacles and a small one who was scratching her eye. I couldn't remember their names.

'Hi, Susie', I said when I got near enough. 'Is it too late to ask you to come to the Ball with me?'

All the three girls turned to stare at me. The small girl had quite intensive eyes, green and striking. And the brown-haired was really pretty. I should have remembered her name, I knew it.

'Sorry', Susie said, 'but you're a bit too late, really.'

'So you're going with someone else?'

She nodded. 'You should have asked me before.'

I frowned. 'Yeah, I know. Sorry. I didn't realize it was so near. Well, do you two have partners?'

The brown-haired girl looked surprised. Susie seemed to be trying to hold her laughter, but I didn't really care.

'Yeah', the brown-haired one said. 'Sorry, Sirius. I'm sure you'll find someone.'

'I'm not', I said. 'What are your names? I'm sorry, I've got a bad memory for front names.'

'Melissa and Amber', said the small one.

Susie threw me with a pen. I frowned, but she just kept looking irritated, so I decided it was better go away before I got that fat book colliding with my head.

'Okay, I just have to go then, I guess', I said quickly. 'Bye.'

I got to the library door before Susie was standing next to me. She pushed me through the door and then grabbed my hand and took me forward. I didn't really try to stop him. She was either annoyed with me or there was some snogging to happen. Both cases were probably inevitable.

'What's wrong with you?' Susie asked holding still my hand and dragging me forward. 'You fancied Amber a few years ago. I tried to get you together. Even though you have got over her, you should even remember her name! And what's that nonsense about not realizing that Christmas Ball is tomorrow? It's been all over the school! Everyone's talking about it!'

She stopped to stare at me. I sighed and leaned against the wall behind my back. It was cold and wet but for some reason, that was quite relaxing.

'Not when it comes to us. James is talking about Lily, Pete is talking about whatever and Remus is talking about school. No one bothered to tell me it's already tomorrow.'

'I'm not going to believe that. Do you have some issues? Are you still jealous of your friends dating?'

'Remus is the only one dating.'

'Well, are you jealous of him?'

'You should ask if I'm jealous of her, remember?'

'I know what I'm asking.'

I swallowed. 'So, Amber? The thick one? I was sure I knew her.'

'You've got holes in your head, Black. Something's wrong.'

I shook my head. 'Why do you even care? It's my head. If I don't remember some girl's name or that there's a Christmas Ball coming, why should you care?'

'Because I'm your friend', Susie said and for a moment I was afraid she would hit me. 'Even though you don't seem to remember it, either. When was the last time you spoke to me? October?'

'It's not like I've been avoiding you.'

'No, of course not', she said and didn't suddenly sound angry anymore. 'It's like you don't even remember I exist. And I can live with that, but you have to do something before you forget your own name.'

'You aren't being serious.'

'No, you aren't', she said and patted me on my shoulder. 'Okay, I won't bother you anymore. We could dance a few dances tomorrow, right? If you happen to remember.'

'I'm not that bad.'

'Yeah, surely', she said.

*

Going alone to your last Christmas Ball would have probably been quite miserable, if I had thought it a bit more. Well, I didn't. I was working too hard to make James stay sane until seven o'clock when he was supposed to meet Lily.

'He's quite pale', Peter said from the window sill where he was sitting, smelling his sleeves and trying to check if they were okay. 'Do you think Maria likes flowers?'

'If she's into girls', I said. 'Ask Remus. He's better in charms than I am.'

'You're all daft', Remus said, thinking which flavor would help Peter to get close to Maria Brown. 'The ocean?'

'Too much nature', I snapped. 'And you're saying that only because you've the only one who's taken. Prongs, try to breathe.'

'I have to go to the bathroom', James muttered.

'Cinnamon? That goes with Christmas', Remus suggested. 'And no, you're the only one who's not taken, Padfoot. What happened to Susie Thomas? I though you were quite close.'

'Cinnamon's for food. And Susie Thomas didn't happen, because I forgot to ask her in time. And I meant taken permanently.'

'Who knows if I'm taken permanently, either', Remus said.

'Permanently, not eternally', I corrected him. 'What? Is there some problems in the paradise?'

'Cinnamon's fine, Moony', Peter called. 'Do the charm. I think I'm smelling more like rose every second.'

'Wait for a moment, this is a bit complicated.' Remus said. 'And no problems. Just, well, nothing's too sure.'

'You're paranoid.'

'You're getting old. Don't you like Susie, then?'

'I told you. I forgot.'

'I don't remember you forgetting anything involving me. Why Susie?'

'Remus! The charm!' Peter barked.

'I don't fancy her that way, you know', I said. 'Or she's really nice, of course. And I'd surely shag her if she just let me. But I'm not in love with her.'

'I'm in love with Lily', said James, who had apparently got out of the bathroom. He was still looking pale, anyway. 'What's the time?'

'You've got twenty minutes still, Prongs', Remus told him. 'Well, I don't know if I can say I'm in love with Sarah. Maybe it's not essential.'

'Moony, this smell isn't cinnamon, it's gingerbread.'

'Gingerbread's made of cinnamon, Wormtail.'

'How isn't it essential?' I frowned. 'Why're you seeing her, then? Just for shagging?'

He looked quite annoyed. 'Shut up, Padfoot. You know that I'm not.'

'Why, then?'

'I like her.'

'Well, that's obvious. I like many people I don't date.'

'That's not the same thing', Remus said. 'Prongs, that's the third time you're going to bathroom.'

'My stomach hurts…'

'It's not going to get any better', Remus said. 'Fifteen minutes left. Maybe we should go to the common room to wait for Lily. Sirius, where're you clothes?'

'Are you blind?'

'Well, your clothes for Christmas Ball, then?' he said. I wondered if he was looking a little weird, too. It was hard to see, when all you could compare him with was James and Peter. 'Take that black shirt. It's far better than a pullover.'

I sighed and undressed. He grabbed on James' shoulders and pushed him to the stairs. Peter followed them smelling his sleeves and muttering something about Christmas cakes and allergies. For a moment I thought about locking myself to the bathroom and staying there, but then the moment went away and I followed them to the common room.

*

'What's there in that punch?' Remus asked.

'Where have you put Sarah?'

He smiled at me. The ceiling of the Great Hall was quite astonishing today, full of bright stars and the full moon in the middle. I wondered if the star light was reflecting on his face, because his eyes looked somewhat deeper today.

'He's dancing with Michael Bell', Remus answered and laughed at my expression. 'No, she's not going to run away with him. I totally trust her.'

'Well, the punch, then', I said. 'James might think that we're too adults to distract Snape from being a jerk, but we can still make everyone a little happier.'

Remus glanced at the glass he was holding onto. 'Ah. Well, I guess that explains why I'm feeling quite dizzy.'

'No, that's your brain smelting.'

'You know, this is sort of beautiful', he said maybe a bit more seriously, looking at the ceiling. 'The full moon, I mean. It lookes quite real.'

'Isn't it disturbing?'

'Not really. Maybe it's because of the punch. Anyway, I like seeing it. I never get to see for real. Can you imagine? If I wanted to go for a walk with Sarah, you know, it's all so romantic to go for a walk when there's full moon in the sky, well, I couldn't.'

'Doesn't she guess it?'

He swallowed and shook his head. 'No. She thinks she can trust me, poor girl. She believes all my lies.'

'All the funerals and that stuff.'

'Yeah. She didn't notice even though aunt Mary died twice. She just comforted me.'

'In her way.'

'Yeah.'

He stared to the dance floor. Stars were surely shining quite brightly, because I could see the light going across Susie's hair when she was dancing dark-haired Ravenclaw whose name I couldn't remember. They were quite close to each other. A bit further away James had wrapped his arms to Lily's waste like he had been scared to death to lose her. Well, he probably was.

'I can't imagine you dating her', Remus said.

'Who? Lily?'

He hit me into my ribs. 'If that's what you're dreaming of, I guess I have to tell James. I hope you'll survive.'

'Thanks. Susie, then?'

'Yeah.' He took a deep breath. 'She's nice, I know, but it just… I can't imagine you having a relationship.'

'I couldn't imagine you having a relationship', I said, 'until you did.'

He nodded. 'It's weird, isn't it? Sometimes I just get panicked because of all that, you know, growing old and the war waiting for us and James being so in love with Lily.'

'Speaking of which', I said, 'I guess he's going to make some process today.'

'I though Lily already almost told she fancies him - what's happening there?'

'Exactly', I said.

The band was playing some old love song that had nothing to do with walz, but James and Lily were dancing, anyway. We watched how James was stroking her hair and then pulled her closer, and for a moment I thought Lily was going to hit him, but she didn't. Instead she kissed him.

'I think I'm going to need more of that punch', Remus said.

*

When I woke up in the morning my head was aching like someone had hit me with a Bludger. Well, I wasn't surprised. I hold my head with my two hands when I stumbled to the bathroom. Washing my face didn't help, nor did the cold shower, but at least I was now totally awaken with my headache. When I got back to the dormitory, the first thing I realized was that Peter was lacking his pants. Okay, the others might be sleeping, but I was going to have some breakfast, anyway.

I got to the common room before I had to stop. The couch had two people on it, and those people happened to be James and Lily, tightly wrapped together with their own arms and legs. Well, at least they had all clothes on.

'Prongs?'

I felt almost sorry to wake him up, but just almost. At first he looked confused and there were a grimace on his face, but then he got it. His face turned into a big, stupid smile and for a moment I wondered how Lily was being able to breathe.

'Morning', James said quietly, his voice cracking. 'Don't wake her up. I want to stay here forever.'

'I know, mate. How about breakfast?'

'Not in this century.'

'Your eternity is too long', I said and then pointed her. 'How did you guys end up here?'

'To the couch in the common room?' he asked. Well, of course he had to say it aloud with that stupid smile of his. 'Well, I'm not sure. We kissed a few times and then a few more and then we came back here and decided to sit down and talk for a moment before going to sleep, and then we were kissing again and I think we just fell asleep. Pads, I think she likes me.'

I glanced at Lily, who had pressed her face against James chest. 'Well, it's quite possible. Keep your hopes up. I'm going to have that breakfast now.'

'Poor Moony', James said. 'He and Sarah came a bit after us. They had just one quick good night kiss.'

I frowned. 'You know what? I think Moony's going to wake up now. I need some sensible company for my breakfast.'

'Right', James said staring at the back of Lily's head. 'I'm coming later. Do you think she would come to my place for New Year's Eve?'

'For what?'

'For the party. Mom has invited some relatives and some other people. You have to say to Remus and Peter that they're coming, too.'

'Why won't you say it yourself?'

'I'm busy.'

'Right.' I glanced at Lily. I had a weird feeling that she only pretended to sleep. 'Are you sure you're in love with her? I think she snores.'

'I'm madly in love with her', James said, offended. 'You had better just mind your own business. And you're spending the Christmas with us, right?'

'I've got my own flat now, you know. The one I bought last summer.'

'Yeah, with your uncle's money. But it's in Diagon Alley and that's too far away and you can't spend your Christmas there, prat. In fact, mom doesn't let you even considerate it, so forget it right away. You're coming home.'

I nodded. James might not have seen it, because he was stroking Lily's hair quite intensively, but it didn't really matter. I went to check if Remus had woken up.