Filch, Peeves and a Bucket of Slime

"STEP AWAY FROM HER, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRATS!"

James and Sirius sharply glanced up to see the school janitor, Argus Filch, advancing towards them with an angry expression painted on his weathered face. He was clutching a thick broomstick – the non-magical kind – and the boys knew he wouldn't hesitate to use it as a form of discipline.

"BACK AWAY – AWAY, I SAY!"

The boys, who seemed like they were frozen on the spot, suddenly snapped out of it and high tailed it out of there, leaving a peeved off looking Mrs. Norris behind.

"Why didn't you kick the blasted cat?" Sirius huffed as they rounded the corner. They could hear Filch and Mrs. Norris chasing behind. The two boys had just finished applying super glue over Professor Slughorn's chair (he had given them detention for scrawling on a sleeping student's face with permanent marker) and had just exited the classroom when Flich's cat ambushed them, hissing loudly.

"I wanted to get a good one in," retorted James, fixing his crooked glasses on his nose, "To let her know that we're not afraid of her and her evil sneers."

"YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY!"

Sirius spotted a broom closet beside a tapestry displaying Olga the Old balancing plates on her head. Praying that it wasn't occupied by a snogging couple, Sirius dragged James into it, clicking the door shut once they hastily entered.

They held their breath when they heard Filch thunder past the closet, proclaiming loudly that he'll have their various body parts strewn across the castle.

"Bloody maniac," James muttered darkly.

"This closet is occupied!" A high pitched voice sounded from behind the cramped closet.

"Please tell me that's not who I think it is." James moaned, smacking his head repeatedly against the wall.

"You know I'm not a good liar, mate." Sirius said, feeling his friend's pain.

Peeves the Poltergeist cackled madly as he balanced on a bucket resting on top of a rickety shelf. "No one's glad to see me? Maybe we should ask Filchy what he thinks about this!"

"NO!"

"That's what I thought." Peeves floated down, his round face gleamed under the single light bulb illuminating above them. "But you know I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut so what do you have?"

"How about we ask the Bloody Baron what he thinks we should offer you?" James said, mentally patting himself on the back for the quick quip.

Instead of being frightened and zooming out of there like the boys thought he would, Peeves stood – er, floated his ground. "Hahaha! Do you think I forget easily? The Bloody Baron is still angry at you for spreading those nasty rumors about him!"

"We just told everyone what you told us!" Sirius exclaimed, utterly shocked. The pesky Poltergeist had told them that the Bloody Baron was the one who was sending flowers to the female teachers anonymously. How could they not tell anyone?

"That's not what he thinks!" sang Peeves. He sobered once noticing their dejected faces. "Listen, how about this: you kidnap the cat for me, and then I'll just forget about this whole thing."

"How is that fair, Oomph –" Sirius laughed loudly as he placed a hand over James' mouth, shoving the boy behind him.

"We'll do it!" Sirius chose to ignore the murderous glares James was sending his way. Instead, he pushed his slightly taller friend outside the broom closet and into the deserted corridors.

"Are you mental?" asked James, fixing his robes, straightening up. "Mrs. Norris is always with Filch so if we steal her, she might make enough noise to alert Filch. Then the old coot will skin us alive and give us detention until we're in second year!"

"But I already have her." True to his word, Sirius was holding the struggling cat in his arms. Mrs. Norris tried to claw at them, but Sirius put socks over her hands.

"I'm not even going to ask how you nabbed her that fast ... but where did you get the socks?"

"It's yours, mate." Sirius said cheekily. James blinked, slightly hitching up his trousers. His ankles were bare.

Just as James opened his mouth to question his friend's sanity, a giggle sounded and they were drenched in a cold substance. Looking down in shock, the boys saw that they were covered in green goo. Peeves was doing somersaults in the air, laughing hysterically.

"You little - !"

"Mr. Filch! Mr. Filch! I found the hooligans! They're threatening to kick Mrs. Norris into the next century! Help! Help!"

James and Sirius tried to run, but the slime made it hard to move. All they could do was watch helplessly as Mr. Filch speeded across the corridors, waving his broom around wildly, Mrs. Norris smirking by their feet.

"James," Sirius gulped, eyes filling with tears.

"Yeah, buddy?" whimpered James

"I j-just want you to know … that I was the one who stole your Herbology homework."

"WHAT?"

"O-On the bright side … we got an O!"

Thanks to shadowkat678 for the idea!

Also thanks to loveislouder94, Remus' daughter, greysky3, skhermione, snowflakecake and shadowkat678 for reviewing and for some suggestions for upcoming drabbles. I'll get to it!

Leave a review to tell me what you think! :))