This is humiliating. Sad. Depressing. Worrying. I am so sorry I abandoned y'all for so long, but like... I just sort of lost some steam with this fic, and it was only recently that I got some feedback from an incredible person (you know who you are ;)) that inspired me to keep going. So again, I'm sorry, but I'm here with an update. Legooooo!

In her dream, there was nothing but darkness. Holes that opened up from the inky shadows, spinning and swirling down into the depths of whatever lay below. Curtains that swung out of nowhere, dark and thick and choking. She thought she heard someone behind her, whispering something, and reaching out to hand something to her- but no matter how much reached, she couldn't seem to hold the thing- whatever it was- that was being passed to her, and it fell to the ground, a symphony of crashing and shattering that was both oddly muted, and piercingly sharp. And the whisper, her name, she thought, over and over in silent caresses, just soft enough that she couldn't catch anything else. Tris… Tris… Tris…louder and louder until-

-"Tris- Tris!" someone's hand, rough but gentle, shaking her shoulder.

"Ungh…" Tris's mouth tasted like a small animal had died inside of it, and her jaw felt like lead. Her eyes, always a few steps behind her brain in the morning, fluttered open slowly. Everything was oddly blurry for a second, but that blur, Tris realized in a second, was far preferable to the pulsating ache just behind each of her eyeballs that began as she blinked her eyes. Squinting against the light- why, oh why, did it have to be so goddamn light in the morning?!- she glanced around at her surroundings. She was lying on a bed, with plain white sheets, ensconced in what could only be the corner of a room, because all she saw was whitewashed wall, dotted here and there by spots of dirt and milky discoloration.

She gingerly rolled over, her whole body beginning to catch on to the ache in her head.

And screamed.

Four was kneeling by the bed, his thick eyebrows knitted together, looking for all the world like small storm clouds come to rest on his face. Just like that, the day before came rushing back to her. Like watching a horror movie on fast forward, each instant flashed heavy and jolting through her mind- first, the news about her parents…de- she couldn't even think that word, that hard, echoing word, not even to the inside of her head-the wait, with Caleb, and then the club, with Four, and Eric….

"What are you doing here?" Tris yelled- or rather, tried to yell. Her voice was hoarse, and despite her best efforts at assertiveness, it came out sounding an awful lot like a plea.

"What am I doing here?" Four barked out a laugh that was neither happy nor bitter. "I think a much more fitting question is, what are you doing here?"

Tris blinked, unsure. She wasn't entirely sure what she was doing "here", wherever "here" was. It occurred to her that she should probably be more concerned about her surroundings, but she had bigger things to worry about. Such as, what exactly had happened last night? Tris wracked her brain, but try as she might, the last thing she recalled was her phone being crushed.

"Don't remember, do you?" Four smiled, more unreadable than ever, his eyes gleaming almost silver in the whitish light.

Tris shook her head, wincing as what felt like an army of small chipmunks set about hammering some very blunt nails through her forehead. "But- where am I?" She hated how pathetic and whiny she sounded, but her words were like birds, soaring towards the sky even as she spoke them.

Four got to his feet, pacing towards the door of what Tris now saw was a small, mostly empty room. He was wearing ratty gray sweatpants and a white shirt, and the outline of his taut muscles through his thin t-shirt made Tris very, very glad that he was facing away from her.

"You're in- well, my house I guess. My aunt's place. She works night shifts as a security guard, so she was out when we got back in. She arrived back about an hour ago, and's been dead asleep ever since then."

"In…your house?" Tris echoed him hoarsely. In all her wild imaginings of Four, she had never imagined him… Having a house. A home.

"Well. I mean," Four twitched, a shadow passing across his face, "Well, my mom' s, uh, been gone and while ago, so I'm here now, mostly." He didn't mention his dad, and Tris didn't push him. She didn't really want to hear about anyone's parents, or anyone's home. She didn't want to be here, in someone else's home. She wanted to be home, in her home.

Just the thought of her house, comfortable and familiar and hers filled her with a strange, sharp stinging. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cr-

"Don't cry!" Four burst out exasperatedly, twisting his hands together. He looked so distraught at the thought of Tris unleashing the waterworks that she almost smiled. Almost.

"Ah, look…" Four sat down on the edge of the bed, and Tris could feel the heat radiating off of his body, the warmth of his body, so close to her, and yet, so far away. "We can figure everything out later. Last night- yesterday- you're bigger than that. You want some food?"

Tris nodded silently. She sat up slowly, her head throbbing, and cast the white-ish blankets off of her. She was wearing a baggy black t-shirt, and… nothing else?

"Um…?" Her cheeks burned, and she could feel the blood rushing to her face.

Four shrugged. "I figured you wouldn't want to sleep in your clothes."

Tris didn't know what to say. She couldn't stop seeing Four looking at her naked body. She normally didn't really mind how she looked, but suddenly, all she could see was the pale flab on her stomach, the way her inner thighs squeezed up next to each other, and… She furrowed her eyebrows, deep in thought. Was she wearing the black bra, or the gray? The gray was more threadbare, but maybe that was, like, grunge? The black one was silky, and probably cooler, but it was a push-up, and Four would judge her so hard for that…And-

"Hey-" Four smiled with half of his mouth. "It' not a big deal. You think I've never seen a girl before?"

Tris felt her eyes stinging at the casual way he wiped the event aside. Maybe it wasn't a big deal; maybe he had seen girls naked before. In fact, he probably hung out with naked girls all the time, naked girls with cooler bras and more toned stomachs and thinner thighs. But Tris had never been seen naked. It was a big deal to her.

"Yeah, well, I guess I would prefer not to be stripped without my permission, while I was passed out." Her voice came out as an angry growl. For the first time, she sounded the way she had tried so hard to seem- hard, dangerous. But she didn't want that anymore. She wanted to go back to when she had a home to go back to, when she wasn't in a strange house, with strange clothes and a guy she wasn't even sure what she felt about.

"Okay, whatever." Four shrugged, defeated. "I'll be outside. Your stuff is all in the corner. Enjoy changing, and don't worry, I'll be in another room." He ducked out of the room, leaving Tris alone with her humiliation.

Stepping out of bed, she undressed quickly. She was wearing the black bra, and, just to match that sexy lingerie standard, hello kitty underwear she'd had since she was in middle school. Fan-freaking-tastic. Her clothes were in the corner, as promised, and Tris shoved on her grimy clothes. It was pretty gross to be wearing the clothes that had been… well, who knows where, but it was a lot weirder to just be in Four's t-shirt.

Pulling on her socks (major ew) and shoes, she got to her feet and slowly scanned the room, making sure she hadn't forgotten anything. She reached down to her pocket instinctively, feeling for the familiar metallic hardness of her phone… only to remember that it was in pieces at the club from last night.

Whatever. She had nothing left now.

Tris left the room quickly, trying to shake the hollow feeling in her chest. Everything was gone, and she was walking around like she'd just missed a step on the stairs- breath caught, stomach airy.

"So, sleeping beauty, breakfast?" Four's voice was loud and low, and made the pounding in Tris's head flare up.

"Shh," she mumbled, coming around a cardboard box sprawling empty on the floor to sit down across a gray-black Formica counter from Four. "But yes."

He nodded, and turned back around. He was standing in front of what looked like a stove from the 1950's, but it appeared to work fine; a pan simmered on the stove, smelling like Sunday mornings and sunshine.

"One pancake, coming right up!" He smiled, and turned to a small, light-blue fridge, pulling out a bottle of maple-syrup, and placing a chipped blue plate down in front of Tris.

She smiled weakly. This was all so strange, this soft, domestic Four, but at the same time, it was comforting, a blanket over a knife.

"Thanks," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, a ragged scream into the void.

Four didn't say anything, but a minute later, he flipped a fat, golden pancake onto her plate, steaming hot and glowing.

"Bon appetite," he said, sitting down opposite her.

Tris didn't need to be told twice. Fork grasped like a sword, she dug into the pancake, drowning her angst in maple syrup and her fear in warm, soft pancake dough.

So, thoughts?

No matter what your opinion on this is, it is your feedback that keeps me going! Thanks so much guys... I know y'alls reviews will be awesome.

:)

Thanks for reviewing!

(Jedi mindtrick or nah? Seriously, though, pleeeeeease...)