109. Inspiration

As a bard, Leliana sought every experience for inspiration. Anything could be made into a song, or a story, be it a tragic battle, or a sweeping view, or merely a drop of water clinging to a blade of grass after the rain. There was beauty and inspiration everywhere.

Or so she had thought. It was difficult to believe, with the weight of the earth stretching over their heads, and the stink of darkspawn around them.

They had entered the Deep Roads that morning, going through a hole blown into the side of a mountain.

Blown into the rock, the earth forced open by the power of the mage they followed. And then a tunnel down, down into the earth, all of it made by Kazar in his quest to his destination. It was frightening, to see that Kazar could tear through the earth with apparent ease. How could they hope to stop him?

Then, an hour ago, Kazar's tunnel had broken through into a broad underground chamber, with high sweeping buttresses and solid worked stone walls. This, she realized, was a Deep Road.

She could feel the history here. Perhaps that was where the inspiration lay, in the echoes that remained of the ancient dwarves. She understood, now, what Genitivi had meant about the heart of the dwarves being infused into their stonework. She could feel the strength they had once had, their industry. As they walked around rubble, she felt the ache of their eventual fall to the encroaching darkspawn.

"Depressing, isn't it?" Felicity had sidled up beside her. She stared sadly up at the stonework. "Once, the dwarves were a great nation, their reach extending far beyond the limits of men. Can you imagine walking these roads in their heyday? Passing caravans and settlements, all thriving and full of life in these vast halls?"

Leliana shook her head. "It must have been grand." She dropped her attention downward, toward a woman who sought to reclaim a different lost civilization.

Meila led the party, as usual, silently tracking Kazar through the dark tunnels. She had been silent and stiff ever since the earth swallowed them up. Her wolf had left them at the surface, refusing to follow them into the earth. It must have been difficult, losing that companionship when she was already unsettled, but Meila did not complain. She never did.

"Is it time to camp yet?" Jowan said, lagging behind. "We've been down here for hours. It's got to be nightfall soon."

"In the Deep Roads," Felicity said, "such concepts have no meaning."

"Then how about the concept of 'my feet are killing me'… does that work?"

"The rest of us have been walking all day too," Alistair said. He followed right behind Meila, but turned to walk backwards so he could look at Jowan. "But you don't hear us whining about it, do you?"

"That's not fair. I'm not as used to all this walking as you lot are. I spent the last month in a jail cell, remember?"

"Oh, that's smart," Alistair snarked. "Go to a secluded location, then remind everyone of the fact that you poisoned Arl Eamon, and that this whole mess is your fault. Weren't exactly top of your class, were you?"

Jowen went red. "Alistair," Felicity chided, "be nice."

"We should stop here," Meila said, coming back to join the rest of them. "I can feel a large number of darkspawn ahead: apparently some sort of nest. We will need our energy to take them."

The rest nodded, but Leliana was too concerned to agree. Meila did not often give much away, especially when she was feeling weak or afraid. But the fact that she was willing to slow their progress instead of pressing forward and dealing with the consequences… it was out of character. Enough to worry the bard.

Meila led them into a side passage off the road, which ended in a small chamber. Here, they could curl up for the night without anything unsavory coming across them on accident.

While the others started setting up a cold camp—they couldn't start a fire down here without the smoke drawing attention—Meila took a position standing at the entrance of the chamber, silently taking first watch.

Carefully so as not to startle the elf, Leliana sidled up next to her. Not that she'd ever surprised the elf before—Meila's sense of her surroundings was uncommonly keen—but now in particular seemed a bad time to start. Meila was drawn as tight as a bowstring.

Leliana laid a soft hand on the elf's upper arm. "Meila, are you all right?"

The elf cast a glance at her, but then turned her eyes back to the tunnel. "You must be careful," she said. "If you come in contact with darkspawn blood, you may become Tainted."

"Yes, I know," she said.

"Do you?" Meila's eyes snapped back to her, stony and cold in a way they hadn't been in a while. "Do you truly understand, satusulahn? It is an agonizing death: weakness and burning, and darkness that has nothing to do with lack of light. And we are venturing into the place where these creatures breed and live." She turned away, glaring out into the darkness down the tunnel. "You should not have come with."

Leliana felt a twist in her chest. Was she being rejected? Hurt, she said, "If I've done something wrong, tell me."

Meila's attention snapped back to her, stoniness gone for shock. "What? No. That is not it at all."

"Oh." The feeling eased. "Then… you are worried about me?"

A hesitation. "Yes," the elf admitted. "In my clan, it was part of my duty to protect my fellows. I… have failed, in allowing you to come with us to this dangerous position. I apologize."

Leliana couldn't help but smile. Now she understood what was going on… and it was adorable. "But I wanted to come."

"That is irrelevant. You have no point of reference to understand…" Leliana stepped closer to her, and the elf trailed off.

Leliana reached up to run a finger through the elf's hair. It was always a wild mess, but the beaded locks kept it in a semblance of order. Every bead had a story to it: a difficult hunt or a kill of some significance. Leliana had dared to ask about a couple of them, and had been fascinated to learn that Meila treasured their stories with all the reverence of a bard.

"It's very sweet," Leliana whispered, smiling, "that you think of me like a member of your clan. Thank you."

Meila averted her eyes. "I simply do not wish you to come to any harm. The thought… distresses me."

It was a rare admittance, as good as a confession. Leliana leaned in to give the elf a fond peck on the lips, and was startled when Meila wrapped her arms around her and deepened the kiss.

The Dalish elf was always so guarded that there was a little thrill in breaking through all that stone. Lelianasank into the kiss, wrapping her arms around the elf's slender shoulders, reveling in the protectiveness she felt in the other woman's grip.

Meila's kiss was as intense as the rest of the elf, her mouth moving against Leliana's with focus and purpose, and Leliana had to fight back a giggle at the thought that the elf probably didn't even know what that purpose was. Meila simply threw her entire being into things. It was one of the things the Orlesian adored about her.

"I see that your statement in Redcliffe was legitimate."

"Is that magey talk for 'I was right'?"

"It's not 'magey' talk," Jowan said. "It's Felicity talk. None of the rest of us ever speak like that, trust me."

Meila pulled back, a bright shade of red on her stoic features. Leliana giggled at the sight. Softly, so that only Meila's sharp ears would hear, she whispered, "You don't have to be embarrassed."

"I am… unaccustomed to this sort of attention." Meila bowed her head. "I apologize."

It was so cute, that Leliana just had to reach in and kiss her again. They soon forgot about the others, and the press of stone overhead.