The Marauderettes

"Stop that. It's getting rather annoying."

Jamie Potter closed her hand around the glittering gold snitch she had been tossing around and grinned back at her best friend, "Only because you said please."

Silena Black rolled her grey eyes, scoffing. "I'm a Black. I don't say please."

"That wasn't a good comeback... Maybe it's time to get some new jokes, Padfoot." Rema Lupin advised, pausing from her Herbology homework to answer her friend. Her parchment was already three feet long, but she felt she would get more marks if she added two more feet.

None of her friends understood her logic.

Petra Pettigrew folded her arms across her stomach as it rumbled loudly. "I'm starving! Can we go down to the kitchen, please?" she had given up on her own Herbology homework twenty minutes prior, and claimed that she would finish it tonight, but they all knew that she would forget about it until the next morning where she would scramble to get a measly paragraph together that would give poor Professor Kettleburn a heart attack.

"Dinner is in, like, half an hour. Surely you can wait?"

"No!" she jumped up from her chair with surprising speed, considering she didn't exercise, and snatched Silena's hand across the table, dragging her towards the portrait hole. "You know me. I hate waiting. I'll probably die from starvation if dinner was in two seconds."

"… It's been two seconds … why aren't you dead yet?"

Petra flipped her flaxen hair over her shoulder and sighed. "Honestly, you do need new jokes. It's pathetic."

"Wait for me, guys!" called Jamie, hopping up from the couch, and walking over. Rema had finished her essay (all five feet of it) and had managed to stick it into her satchel when they met up. "We might see Evans on the way!"

Jamie had been in love with Leon Evans ever since third year. It was their first Hogsmeade trip and Jamie and the girls were excited to visit all the shops. They were walking along the sidewalk, oohing and aahing over the extravagant displays in the shop windows when something tripped Jamie. She had fallen on the ground and was just about to let out a string of curse words when the person had kindly informed her that 'You're crushing my bloody ribs!'

She did eventually detangle herself from the poor boy, but not before accidentally stepping on his hand and accidentally throwing off his knit hat off his bright red hair that she had accidentally noticed and after his hat had accidentally flown away by the strong wind that had accidentally made her lose balance and accidentally fall on top of him and accidentally gaze into his bright green eyes that accidentally happened to be her new favourite colour.

This was all accidental, of course.

But every time she attempted to ask him out, her face went super red and she would get tongue twisted and try to say words but she'd just evidently look like she didn't know any English. Leon was nice enough not to acknowledge these displays, but he'd give her the cold shoulder instead because of Jamie's nasty rivalry with his best friend, Savannah Snape.

Savannah Snape was a Slytherin and therefore 'The Enemy' according to Silena's and Jamie's books. She was a tall girl, with pallid skin and stringy black hair that down to her back. Her eyes, unlike Hagrid's nice, friendly ones, were dark and cool, like she was contemplating the best way to kill someone who stole her candy.

She also had a huge crush on Leon Evans, like Jamie, and thus automatically making her 'The Major Enemy'. Unlike Jamie, though, Leon liked Savannah and all her quirks which angered Jamie to no end because Savannah hung out with people that hated Muggleborns like Leon, and would gladly kill him if they had a chance, but he didn't seem to notice that.

Sometimes boys were stupid.

"Why is it so bloody cold?" complained Silena, rubbing her bare arms as they walked along the empty corridors.

Rema crossed her cardigan clad arms across her chest, obviously gloating. "Maybe it's because you decided to wear that skimpy ensemble on a winter day. Hogsmeade was last weekend, love, who are you trying to impress? Dumbledore?"

Silena sniffed indignantly and smoothed down her swishy purple skirt. "Just because I make an effort to look nice doesn't mean you have make fun of me."

"Aww, Padfoot, are you gonna cry?"

"Shut up, Moony! Prongs, tell her to shut up!"

"Moony, shut up."

"Was that supposed to be intimidating?"

"Nice one, Wormtail!"

"You want intimidating, eh? How about if I cover your book collection in Silena's lipstick,"

"Like she'll give you – "

"Oi, well if it isn't the Marauderettes!" a shrill voice boomed from behind them. The girls turned around, immediately on alert, and surveyed their competition. It was Snape's gang. They deflated a little, thinking it would be some real challenge, but didn't back down, nonetheless. Snape was, of course, in front of the pack, looking greasy as ever in her old robe sets, leering down at them with her hooked nose. Directly beside her was Silena's younger sister, Renee Black, who looked a little too excited with the idea of hexing her sister. On Snape's left was Daniel Rookwood, who was holding his wand the wrong way. He was, unsurprisingly, held back a few years.

"That was good," drawled Jamie, taking her wand out from its place where it was holding up her messy hair. "You almost got it right this time. But it's the Marauderettes… say it with me: Marauder – ettes." She raised her eyebrows at Daniel, who had been repeating it after her with great concentration. "Great pronunciation, Rookwood,"

Snape elbowed him to shut up, and then stepped forward, sneer on face. "You're pathetic, you know that, Potter?"

"She's pathetic?" Silena glared right back. "Look at you, Snape. I mean, everyone knows you just looovee Evans, except Evans himself. Why don't you grow some and tell him? Oh, yes, it's because you know he's not going to feel the same. I mean, who would?"

A bright yellow light shot out from Snape's wand at that moment, aiming for Silena's head. Silena shrieked, and threw up a quick shield, managing to deflect the curse which bounced towards Rookwood who turned and fled, the spell following right behind.

"Uh, guys, let's go, yeah?" said Rema, wringing her hands, trying act on her prefect status. "They're so not worth our time and we have detention the next three weekends so – "

As she began to ramble on about the consequences and 'What Dumbledore would say!' the others tuned her out.

"Shut your filthy mouth, Black." Snape smirked, tilting her head to the side. "But I bet you don't even know how to. Why don't you look at yourself? You get with guys and then break up with them after you get what you want. Doesn't that make you a right little – ?"

Jamie finally had enough and threw a Knockback jinx towards Snape, who was too busy with her monologue (that was most likely scripted) to notice this and was consequently thrown back a few feet.

Renee hissed as she watched her friend groggily sit up.

"Already acting like a snake, little sis? Tsk, tsk, I knew it would happen one day, but never so soon!"

Thus began the colourful duel between the two estranged sisters, both having way too much fun in trying to seriously hurt each other than they probably should have had.

"I – just – wanted – to – get – a – snack!" Petra cried, feebly defending herself and Rema who was now reciting the Hogwarts handbook's Rules Section.

That left only Jamie and Snape.

This could be the end, Jamie thought wistfully, for her.

Snape was thinking the same thing.

They stared each other down for a few seconds, before Snape shouted an unfamiliar spell, swishing her wand quickly and catching Jamie, who had just realised what was going to happen, off guard.

Ouch, ouch, ouch, that freakin' hurts! Jamie thought, mentally shooting death glares to whoever was prodding her arm. Whoa! Whoa! Keep the paws off the merchandise, buddy! She thought angrily when the offending hand brushed against her hair. Although that does feel nice … hmm, I reckon my Animagus should've been a cat, no matter what Silena says … cats got it all! The nice fur, night vision, not to mention nine lives –

"Jamie, wake up!"

At the command, her hazel eyes snapped open and she squinted behind her glasses, trying to decipher who was shouting at her. She thought it could've been Silena, but her voice wasn't that deep. 'Cept for that time she attempted to show us her 'seductive' voice, of course. That was a little too creepy for my liking…

"Are you okay, Potter?"

Jamie almost collapsed. Only one person called her Potter (not including Snape and her gang because they always said it disgustedly). No, no, only one person said her name all half annoyed, half amused:

Leon Evans.

"Uh, errr, what, um, what are you doing here? W-what happened?" Smooth, Potter!

Leon didn't seem to notice. He smiled at her, not like the sarcastic smiles he gave her when she attempted to ask him out, but a real, genuine one. "Snape shot a dark curse at you and you were unconscious for a few days."

Jamie's eyes widened and she quickly looked around to note that, indeed she was at the Hospital Wing.

"Dumbledore was really angry, you know." Leon continued, staring past her. He seemed sad, Jamie noticed. "So he expelled Snape and her cronies. I finally realised what a jerk she was and now we're no longer best friends. Gave away the bracelet and everything,"

Jamie's eyes widened. Giving back a friendship bracelet was a huge deal. "Really?"

"Yes." He took a deep breath, and looked at her eyes for the first time. His green ones piercing through her hazel coloured ones. "I sold it, and instead bought something else."

"Did you?"

"Uh huh," Leon grinned, running a hand through his hair. "Well, I've got to ask you something." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Um, so, I really like you – love you, even. - since first year. And – and I was wondering – " he stood up from his chair, and got down on one knee as he took out a small velvet box from his pocket. He opened it, revealing a shiny diamond ring. "Will – will you marry me?"

Jamie had been practically hyperventilating for the most part, but at that last question, she had stopped. Literally – she stopped breathing.

"Bloody hell," Leon shouted, as he got up from his position. He started to shake her shoulders roughly, "Potter? Jamie? Was that a yes? Get up! Please tell me you're joking! Wake up, Potter! Wake up! WAKE UP!"

...

Jamie's eyes flew open, and Silena's face filled her vision. She pushed the girl away, and glanced over her shoulder for Leon.

He wasn't there.

"What the hell?" she yelled, her voice bouncing off the Hospital Wing's walls. "Where the bloody hell is he?"

"Who?" Petra asked, munching silently on some biscuits.

Jamie glared at her. "Leon! I was just about to answer his proposal and you bloody must've scared him off!"

"Language!" Rema cried.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Jamie spat out, looking deranged and murderous. She threw off her covers, standing up. "I'm gonna find him, and then answer this time. Then we'll snog."

"Looks like you've thought this over." Silena responded airily. "And he's not here. Evans is with Snape who's suffering some nasty wounds that we may have inflicted on her when we sorta jumped her after she knocked you out. Evans has never been here. We know this since we've been by your bed 24/7."

"Wait, so, you're telling me Leon didn't really propose to me? That I imagined his proposal and that Snape hadn't been expelled?"

They nodded.

"Cheers,"

Jamie had fainted.

Alternate Ending

"Upsy daisy, don't be lazy, Prongsie! It's time to get uuuuup!"

James Potter opened his eyes and shut them immediately as the bright morning light attacked his sensitive eyes. After a couple seconds, he opened them up again and absently shoved Sirius off his bed.

"I just had the strangest nightmare…" he mumbled to himself, rubbing his face from reminiscences of sleep.

"What was it about?" Remus asked, fixing his tie with intense concentration in front of the mirror.

"Well, you – you all were in it and – "

"If I was in it," Sirius cut him off, "then it wouldn't have been a nightmare. More like a pleasant dream, because I am awesome."

"And the strangest part was," James continued, ignoring Sirius as memories of the dream came back to him. "We were all girls. And Evans was a guy. And your brother was in it too, Padfoot, he and Snape were both girls – "

"I can see why you labeled this as a nightmare." Sirius wrinkled his nose distastefully. "Sweet Merlin, can you imagine them as birds? Eww, I think you've just scarred me, Prongs."

James got out of his bed, and began to pace the room, as he recounted his dream's horrible details. "I think we called ourselves the Marauderettes, and we got into a duel with Snape and his gang and somehow – and now I know this was a dream – I lost to him and was knocked unconscious for a few days. Then, Snape was expelled for almost killing me and Evans dropped him as a best friend and she proposed to me but before I could answer, I think I, like, died – but I didn't really because it was really a dream and – "

"Hey, Prongs, can you pass me my book bag?" a chubby, blonde girl stood by the door and pointed a manicure hand over towards the bag at the end of his bed.

"Uhh - ?"

"Nice hair, Wormtail." Remus chuckled, tugging on the girl's flaxen hair.

The girl swatted his hand away and walked over towards James' bed having realised he wouldn't give her the bag and said, "It's Petra to you, Moony."

James felt his eyes roll back into his head, but he didn't feel the bed beneath him as he fell backwards.

Sirius shook his head and whistled low, impressed.

Peter wasn't too assured. "Does he not like my Halloween costume?"